How To Talk To A Guy You Like The Easy Way
It can be difficult to approach a guy you feel attracted to, particularly if you don’t know him well. However, it can be helpful not to have any expectations, as well as to be yourself and be confident. Asking them about themselves can be an excellent way to get the conversation going, and showing eye contact can express your interest. In most cases, it can be best to take things slowly and do your best to manage any feelings of nervousness or anxiety that may arise. If you notice that symptoms of social anxiety seem to be interfering in your life and keeping you from interacting with others, you may benefit from working with a licensed therapist online or in person.
Tips for talking to someone you like
Note: Although this article discusses talking to a man, the information here can apply to people of all genders.
Tip #1: Avoid expectations
When you're preparing to talk to a guy you're interested in, are you afraid you’re going to say something wrong? Do you have a specific vision of how the conversation will go? It can be understandable to want to make a good impression. However, going in with expectations can make it hard to have an organic, enjoyable conversation.
For example, you may imagine that the person you’re approaching is an outgoing, gregarious guy who will want to carry on a long conversation. In reality, you may find that he’s shy and reserved, which could throw you off. In the above situation, coming in without set expectations can make it easier to react and create a more relaxed atmosphere for your conversation.
Tip #2: Be confident
As you approach a guy you’re interested in, try to remember that you bring a lot to the table and are worth getting to know. Many people find confidence attractive, so maintaining a self-assured attitude while you talk to your crush can be helpful. You can do this by stating your opinions clearly, talking about yourself in positive terms, and speaking steadily. You can also project confidence through your body language. Try to relax your shoulders, keep a level gaze, and point your feet toward your crush.
Tip #3: Be yourself
You've probably heard this advice repeatedly, yet many people focus on projecting an ideal version of themselves to the person they like. This can make conversation less authentic, though, and may lead to expectations that are hard to fulfill. When you are being your authentic self, you can find out whether you and the person you’re attracted to may truly be a good fit.
If you love to go dancing and attend concerts, but the guy you are interested in only likes to stay home, this may not work for you in the long term. Honesty can help you avoid misleading your crush and allow you to show him who you really are.
Tip #4: Ask about his interests
During your first conversation, consider asking him about himself. Most people enjoy getting a chance to talk about their interests. This tactic can play double duty: It generally shows that you’re interested in his life, and it may also allow you to find out more about him and whether you would be compatible. This can also be a good opportunity for you to find common ground.
Tip #5: Manage feelings of anxiety
One common reason people have trouble approaching those they like can be nervousness or anxiety surrounding social situations. In some cases, this can be a sign of a mental health condition like social anxiety disorder. Anxiety can cause serious mental and physical symptoms that often make it hard to converse comfortably.
If you experience anxiety when talking to someone you like, there can be some effective strategies for managing it in the short term. Prior to approaching someone, try to relax your shoulders, take deep breaths, and think about what you’re going to say (along with possible topics you can bring up when necessary). In the long run, you can practice having conversations with friends you feel comfortable around. You can also talk to a mental health professional who can help you develop your communication skills and manage symptoms of a potential anxiety disorder.
Tip #6: Maintain eye contact
Looking a guy in the eye as you talk to him can show that you’re confident, present, and interested in what he has to say. While you’re speaking and listening, try to meet his gaze. Research shows that the proper amount of time to maintain eye contact is usually around three seconds. Experts typically suggest that you make eye contact about half the time you’re speaking and just over half the time you’re listening. Eye contact is often thought to be an important part of attraction, and it can show that you’re engaged in the conversation.
Tip #7: Take it slow
As you start interacting with the person you’re interested in, try to keep it simple. Consider giving him a compliment or asking him how his day went. When we like someone, it can be tempting to interact with them as much as possible. Some people may not want to rush into things, though. Therefore, as you talk to your crush, you may want to look for signs that indicate what he’s looking for romance-wise.
If he texts you often to check in or otherwise reaches out frequently, he may want to get closer early on. If, however, he mentions that he’s recently gotten out of a relationship or you notice he is a bit more guarded, it may be a good idea to give him some space. Either way, a good rule of thumb is to take things slowly.
Benefits of online therapy
If you’re already unsure in social situations, face-to-face therapy might seem like an uncomfortable prospect. With online therapy, you’ll generally have the ability to connect and talk with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home through video call, voice call, or online chat. The qualified mental health professionals at BetterHelp have helped many people navigate potentially complicated social situations, like dating and falling in love, and address feelings like nervousness and fear.
Effectiveness of online therapy
According to a 2022 study that investigated the effectiveness of internet-delivered cognitive therapy for social anxiety disorder, online therapy generally displayed strong efficacy. Researchers noted that this type of treatment “significantly reduced social anxiety symptoms,” with 86% of participants demonstrating remission from social anxiety disorder.
Takeaway
How do you start a conversation with a guy?
A good way to start a conversation with a guy (or anyone, for that matter) can be to ask them about their interests. Most guys love talking about the things they’re into, and it also gives you a chance to get to know the kind of things he likes to do so that you can get more information to determine if the two of you are compatible.
How can I keep a conversation going with a guy?
You can start by asking open-ended questions instead of those with one-word answers. For example, instead of asking, “Do you have plans for the weekend?” you can ask, “What are your plans for the weekend?” The difference is subtle, but one encourages him to talk more. If he tells you his weekend plans, and they’re something you’re interested in, too, you can respond in a way that encourages him to keep talking. For example, if he tells you he’s going to the movies, you can ask him what movie. You can respond with something to express interest, like, “Oh, I loved the last movie in that franchise!” or, “I’ve never heard of that one; what’s it about?”
Finding something you have in common may help the conversation flow a little easier. People are usually happy to talk about their interests, especially if it’s something they’re passionate about, and finding an interest that you relate can make it easier to talk to someone because you’re familiar with the subject.
How do you talk to a guy without being awkward?
One thing that may help you feel less awkward is trying to avoid having a preset notion of how things will go. Having a plan is good, but planning too much can give you unrealistic expectations about what to expect. Try to stay flexible during the conversation. Being confident in what you have to bring to the table and staying true to who you are can also help.
How do you sweet talk to a guy?
Sweet talk can often be used to flatter someone, but it can be hard to do subtly. First, sweet talk can be more than just words. While you’re talking, smiling or laughing at his jokes can reassure him that you’re interested, as can maintaining eye contact and making appropriate physical contact, like lightly nudging him after a joke or brushing past him as you walk by.
As for what to say, that can depend on the situation. For example, if he tells a joke and makes you laugh, you can respond by saying, “You’re so funny!” and maybe putting your hand on his arm. Or, you can look for something to compliment, like, “You look really nice in blue,” or, “I’m sure you know all about that, you’re so smart.”
How do I start small talk?
Starting small talk can be challenging. One thing you can do to make it easier is to use your surroundings to help you figure out what to say. For example, if you’re standing on a busy street corner and someone catches your eye, you might ask, “Can you tell me where the closest coffee shop is?” or ask if they know any good lunch places in the area. If you’re stuck in an elevator at work, you can say something like, “That meeting was a long one!” If you’re at a social event, like a party or a bar, you can ask, “Who are you here with?” or “Who do you know here?” Any of these lines can be a good conversation starter.
You can also use your surroundings as inspiration for things to talk about. For example, if you’re at a coffee place, you can say, “I love these chairs; they’re so comfortable, “ or, “What’s your favorite drink here?” Compliments can also be an excellent way to start small talk, whether you like their shoes, eyes, shirt, or laugh.
How do you know if a guy likes you?
Everyone is different, and there are no ways to determine a guy’s interest that is correct 100% of the time, but you may notice some subtle clues. He may touch you frequently, like putting his hand on your back or brushing against you as he walks by. Someone who likes you is more likely to remember things about you, so if you’ve met before and he can recall some of the things you talked about, that can be a good sign. Another way to tell if a guy likes you is if he makes time for you or finds ways to be around you. For example, if you work together and he hangs around after the day is over to walk you to your car, he may be interested in you as more than a friend.
How do you talk to a guy if he's shy?
If you know that a cute guy is shy, saying “hello” often can be a way to break the ice and start talking. For example, if you work together and you see him on the elevator every morning or if you walk past his cubicle, make it a point to say hello. Using his name may be a good idea, too, like, “Hello, Ben!” or “Good morning, David!” It can mean a lot to him that you know it.
Keeping things short at first can help avoid awkward silence, and sticking with casual small talk until he’s more comfortable can be an excellent way to slowly get to know each other without overwhelming him. Try to talk to him one-on-one, but give him plenty of physical space while you’re together, as it may help him feel less pressure. Be a good listener, and follow up on previous conversations to show him you’re paying attention. Talking online can be a good way to start a friendship, too, because it takes away a lot of the pressure a shy person might feel when talking face-to-face. Sending a funny meme or a few text messages can also help break the ice.
How do you keep a guy interested?
There usually isn’t much you can do to keep someone interested if they’re just not into talking; sometimes, making sure they know that you haven’t lost interest while also giving them space can help. Show them you appreciate them by thanking them for the little things, holding the door for you, or getting you a coffee. It can also help to give him space to do his own thing and have interests outside of your relationship. Spend time with your best friend; encourage him to spend time with the guys. If you just started talking and are unsure of where the relationship is going, it can be better to take your time and wait it out.
How can I impress him without talking?
There are a lot of ways to impress someone without talking. Try wearing an outfit that makes you feel confident. Other people will pick up on how you feel about yourself, and many guys tend to be attracted to confidence. Making eye contact can also show your interest, but look away after two or three seconds to keep it subtle. Smile at him if you feel comfortable doing so. You may also consider putting your phone away so he knows you’re not distracted and open to an interesting conversation.
How do I win a man's heart?
Not everyone is the same, so there’s no one way to win a man’s heart. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to be comfortable with and confident in yourself. Believe that you have a lot to bring to the table. If you feel awkward talking to your love interest or need help gaining more confidence and working on your self-esteem, consider talking to a therapist for support.
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