What Does Sexual Abuse Look Like: Signs Of Trauma
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When one person imposes or forces unwanted sexual behavior on another, it is usually defined as sexual abuse or molestation. Sometimes, threats, violence, and intimidation may be employed, but sexual abuse can also be coercive. The person who initiates the unwanted behavior can be referred to as the sexual abuser or molester. When someone is too young to provide legal consent for sexual activities, it is generally defined as child sexual abuse. In adults, sexual abuse can include assault, rape, and sexual harassment. Sexual abuse may not be restricted to race, ethnicity, sex, gender identity, sexual attraction, or culture. Anyone can experience sexual abuse, and it can happen anywhere. Survivors of sexual abuse may benefit from working with a therapist to cope with and heal from their experiences.
What does sexual abuse look like in children?
When a teenager or adult engages in sexual activity with a child or uses a child for sexual gratification, it is typically described as child sexual abuse. Legally, child sexual abuse can be classified as all sexual acts committed by an adult on a minor.
According to statistics compiled by the Department of Justice, one in nine girls and one in 53 boys under 18 may experience sexual abuse by an adult. Girls between the ages of 16 and 19 are generally four times more likely to be raped, sexually assaulted, or experience an attempted rape than females in other age groups. In addition, 88% of perpetrators of sexual abuse are usually male.
Manipulation in cases of known child abusers
Cases of sexual abuse often occur in adult-child relationships, and in most cases of child sexual abuse, the perpetrator is known to the child. However, abuse can also take place between children.
93% of child sexual abusers are typically known to the person they abuse. Child sexual abusers can be family, friends, babysitters, neighbors, and teachers. Abuse by strangers usually accounts for only 7% of cases.
Recognizing the signs and symptoms of sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can come in numerous forms, and it is not always obvious, especially to a child. It can happen through physical acts or acts that do not involve physical contact.
Physical acts of sexual abuse
Fondling, touching, or kissing the sensitive parts of a child or forcing the child to reciprocate by making them touch the abuser's sensitive areas
Sexual intercourse
Inserting fingers, tongue, or objects into a child's vagina or anus
Non-touching sexual acts
Posing a child in a provocative, sexual way to take photos or videos
Showing pornography to a child, such as through direct messages to the child or through social media
Talking to a child about sex in inappropriate ways
An adult exposing their genitals in front of a child
Warning signs and symptoms of sexual abuse
The immediate psychological symptoms displayed by someone following sexual abuse of any kind may include fear, shock, disbelief, and emotionally shutting down. The psychological symptoms may intensify over time, and the impacted person may experience mental health concerns, such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Physical signs of sexual assault
Blood in the vagina
Blood or tears in the anus
Marks or bruises in the vaginal or rectal area
Symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), such as gonorrhea, HIV, and chlamydia
Sores or warts on the vagina or penis
Painful urination or bowel movements
What does sexual abuse look like? Identifying signs and symptoms in children
Children who experience or witness sexual abuse are often unable or unwilling to discuss it. They often feel confused, scared, or unsure about what is happening to them, especially when the abuser is someone they love and trust. A child’s parents or guardians can watch for unusual behavior and warning signs, such as:
Sleep problems or suddenly experiencing nightmares
Clingy behavior
Becoming antisocial or withdrawn
Listless or secretive behavior
Uncharacteristic mood swings, like anger, crying, and sadness
Changes in appetite
A sudden fear of being left alone with someone
Using grown-up, sexual words
Drawing inappropriate sexualized pictures
Engaging in sexual games, either with their toys or with other young children
It can be important to remember that every child may go through phases and exhibit some of the signs mentioned above. Therefore, these signs do not necessarily mean a child is experiencing sexual abuse. However, if a few of these signs are present, an adult should observe and ask questions to ensure the child is not being harmed.
What are the psychological effects of sexual abuse?
Common effects seen in those who have experienced sexual abuse can include the following:
Depression
Accidental pregnancy
Discrimination and social stigma
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD)
Anxiety
The lasting impact of trauma
Studies have concluded that people who experience sexual abuse as children are usually more likely to develop serious psychological and mental health issues as adults and may be at greater risk of substance use disorders.
How trauma affects a survivor
Two professors at the University of New Hampshire, Dr. David Finkelhor and Dr. Angela Browne suggested that four trauma-causing factors usually play a role in a survivor's life.
Traumatic sexualization
Exposing a child to inappropriate sexual behavior when they are too young to understand it can impact how they feel and react to sex as they grow up. The experience can vary from child to child. For instance, if an abuser rewards a child after abuse with gifts and positive attention, they may begin to correlate sex with rewards. As adults, they may use sex to get what they want. On the other hand, if the abuse includes force and violence, they may grow up to associate sex with fear and helplessness.
Powerlessness and manipulation
Due to the uneven power balance between an adult and a child, children are usually powerless at the hands of their abusers. When an abuser uses manipulation and coercion, the child’s helplessness generally increases because they can wrongly begin to see themselves as having agreed to the abuse. This feeling of powerlessness often worsens if authority figures or parents refuse to believe or support them.
Stigmatization
When sexual abuse makes a child believe they did something shameful or immoral, or when people react negatively to their experiences of abuse, the child can develop feelings of guilt and self-blame. Adult survivors tend to look back and feel they must have done something wrong to invite the abuse or that they should have been able to fight back or stop what was happening to them. Sometimes, they even harbor guilt about their body's natural, biological responses, for example, if the abuse caused them to experience sexual arousal.
Problems with sexual intimacy due to betrayal
Difficulty developing relationships may also result from sexual abuse as a minor. When a person’s first sexual experience is negative, especially at a young age, every sexual encounter after that may lead to an emotional reaction, flashbacks, or anxiety. Sometimes, adult survivors cannot find joy in their consensual sexual experiences.
The journey of a survivor
Adult survivors can learn how each factor affects them and potentially move past these trauma factors. They can also begin to understand they were not to blame for what happened, and psychotherapy can play a crucial role in helping someone overcome the effects of sexual abuse.
Therapy for survivors of sexual abuse
Often, people who are sexually abused, whether they are children or adults, are fearful of coming forward because of the stigma associated with the crime. However, getting support can be essential for healing. Online sexual abuse counseling may be a convenient service for survivors to use.
Benefits of online therapy
If you're feeling hesitant about beginning therapy, contacting someone through an online platform from a familiar space like your home may be a more straightforward first step than looking for a local therapist who is accepting new patients. Therapists’ offices often have waitlists as well, which can be nerve-wracking for someone trying to reach out for help. BetterHelp connects most people to a therapist within 48 hours.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Therapy is not usually a one-size-fits-all solution, and many types of therapy can be helpful for people who have experienced sexual abuse. The mental health symptoms that can arise from sexual abuse can be varied, but frequently, people who have experienced this type of trauma experience depression and PTSD. Talking to a therapist can help significantly with both these conditions. In addition, research shows that online therapy can be an effective treatment for PTSD and other mental illnesses.
Takeaway
Anyone can be a survivor of sexual abuse, and the signs of sexual abuse in children and adults can be physical or psychological. Often, children are too scared or confused to tell anyone about what is happening to them. Parents and caregivers can look for signs and gently ask questions to determine if someone is sexually abusing their child. Many people who experience sexual abuse growing up can develop mental health challenges in adulthood. However, therapy can help people heal, and online therapy can be an effective and convenient option for seeking professional help.
What are the 5 stages of sexual abuse?
There are not five stages of sexual abuse, but there are five stages that perpetrators may use to groom their victims in cases of child sexual abuse. These five stages are:
- Victim selection. In this stage, abusers try to identify a potential victim by looking for someone who is complaisant, lonely, needy, troubled, unloved, not close to their families, has low self-esteem, and lacks supervision.
- Gaining access and isolation. Perpetrators may get involved in organizations that serve children, manipulate the family to get access to the child, separate the child from their peers, and engage in overnight stays and outings or other activities alone with children where there aren’t other adults around.
- Trust development. In this stage, the perpetrator may do whatever they can to appear as a charming, likable person and a pillar of the community. They may give the child attention, affection, and compliments or treat them with favoritism. To do so, the perpetrator may give the child rewards and privileges, like money, trips, gifts, or alcohol. They will communicate often with the child and engage in child-like activities.
- Desensitization to sexual contact and physical contact. The perpetrator may ask the child questions about a relationship or sexual experiences or talk to the child about their own. They may make inappropriate jokes about sex or use inappropriate language, or they may teach the child about sex or show them pornography. To attempt to desensitize them to physical contact, perpetrators may touch the child accidentally or distract the child while touching them. As the child becomes desensitized, this touching may become more sexual in nature. The perpetrator may watch the child undressing or expose their own naked body to the child.
- Post-abuse maintenance. After the abuse occurs, the people who commit sexual abuse may tell the child not to tell anyone and encourage them to keep secrets and not report what happened. They may tell the child that they love them or that they are special, or they may offer bribes or rewards to keep them quiet. Perpetrators may try to convince the child that the behavior is normal, make them feel responsible, or make threats about rejection, abandonment, or their family breaking up.
What are the 3 most common forms of sexual abuse?
There are other types, but the three common types of sexual abuse may be verbal, visual, and physical. What does sexual abuse look like? Verbal sexual abuse is written or spoken words that express or imply sexual content, like sexual jokes, name-calling, sexting, or unwanted romantic advances. Visual sexual abuse refers to unwanted or nonconsensual harassment or advances of a visual nature, like flashing or sending unwanted photos. Physical sex abuse refers to any unwanted sexual contact, like kissing, licking, intercourse, oral sex, or unwanted touching.
What ages are most likely to be groomed?
Studies looking into what ages are more likely to be sexually abused are slightly outdated, with some of the studies going back to 1994 and the most recent being from 2008. But, these studies indicate that kids between the ages of 7 and 12 are most likely to experience sexual abuse.
What are the 7 stages of grooming?
The five stages of grooming explained above are more commonly used, but grooming can be broken down into seven stages: getting access to children, targeting the victim, gaining the child’s trust, filling a need for the child (examples include giving them attention, money, or gifts), isolating the child, desensitizing the child, and controlling the child and the situation.
What is the first phase of sexual abuse?
The first phase of sexual abuse is selecting a victim. Perpetrators may look for children who are without supervision who are lonely, complaisant, troubled, needy, not close to their parents, unloved, or unwanted.
What counts as grooming?
According to the Rape Abuse Incest National Network ( RAINN), grooming is “manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught.”
Was I groomed as a child?
Everyone’s experience is different. Some people might have clear memories of grooming and abuse, while others may not realize that that is what they were experiencing. According to the National Children’s Alliance, children’s advocacy centers investigated 247,543 cases involving sexual abuse allegations in 2022, which was 58% of all allegations. Child sexual abuse does happen, and if you feel that you may have been groomed as a child or if you are currently experiencing abuse, talking to a therapist can help you explore those feelings and figure out what to do next. You can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline for support at 800-656-HOPE.
What does predatory grooming look like
Predatory grooming can take many forms, but here are some red flags to look for:
- Someone paying special attention to a child
- Someone isolating a child or involving the child in activities where they are alone together
- Someone who touches a child by asking for a hug or draping their arm over the child’s shoulder in front of the parents or other adults
- Someone who has a lot of “accidental” contact with a child, like bumping into them or brushing against them
- Someone who tells dirty jokes in the presence of children
- Someone who buys treats, gifts or drugs for children
- Someone who acts as a sympathetic listener when other adults disappoint them
What is an example of molestation?
Child sexual abuse or molestation can take many forms, including inappropriate touching, forcing a child to touch someone else’s genitals, exposing a child to pornography, photographing a child in inappropriate poses, performing sexual acts when a child is present, encouraging a child to perform sexual acts, or watching a child undress or use the bathroom.
What is the hardest form of abuse to identify?
Emotional abuse may be one of the hardest forms of abuse to identify because there are no physical signs or specific incidents that can be identified. For example, physical abuse may leave scars and bruises and sexual abuse can lead to sexually transmitted infections or the victim getting pregnant. But emotional abuse may go on subtly for years, slowly breaking down the victim’s self-esteem and sense of self.
What are the boundaries of sexual assault?
What consent is when someone does not say no to sexual activity?
Why is sexual consent important?
How does trauma impact boundaries?
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