Understanding Adolescent Egocentrism
As children's brains mature, they might experience a shift in a perspective called adolescent egocentrism. During this time, you may notice them centering themselves at the expense of others. While this can be a challenging phase to deal with as a parent, it is one of the normal adolescent behaviors. Learning more about adolescent egocentrism and how to manage the typical adolescent behaviors that can come with it may benefit you as you support your teen.
What is adolescent egocentrism according to David Elkind?
Egocentrism refers to centering oneself on one's needs and one’s own feelings, often at the expense of others. Some young people may go through a period where they exhibit egocentric tendencies, called adolescent egocentrism.
The term adolescent egocentrism was developed by the child psychologist Dr. David Elkind. Dr. Elkind studied adolescents ranging from 11-18 years old, focusing on how they perceived the world compared to their adult counterparts.
Dr. Elkind discovered that teenagers often could not differentiate between their perceptions and the perceptions of others. Teenagers consistently believed their view was the only possible, and all other ideas were false or nonexistent, resulting in adolescent egocentrism.
Parenting and egocentrism in teens
Adolescent egocentrism can be a difficult stage for parents. The adolescent egocentrism stage may be characterized by arguing, demanding, entitled behavior, or frequent emotional outbursts. Some parents may feel their children have developed a new personality, citing a rise in aggression, argumentativeness, or stubbornness.
If your child's personality or behaviors change, you may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or lonely. If you feel this way, you are not alone. Parents can struggle in various ways during adolescent brain development, and adolescent egocentrism can be confusing for someone who hasn't seen it before.
Is adolescent egocentrism permanent, according to David Elkind?
It might seem that your child's adolescent egocentrism won’t end. However, this developmental stage can be beneficial to your child and may not last forever. Although some adults continue to behave in egocentric ways, many teens could grow up to appreciate what they learned in their younger years.
Adolescents tend to grow out of this phase, and your adolescent’s preoccupation with their own perceptions is likely not a permanent personality trait, but rather a normal part of developmental psychology for a young person.
Does egocentrism cause risky behavior?
You might feel your child is engaging in risky or extreme behaviors as they age. Adolescent egocentrism results in a decrease in accuracy in assessing risk and danger in some cases. For this reason, adolescents may behave as though they are invincible. This common adolescent belief may lead them to partake in risky behaviors such as driving without a seatbelt, going out late with friends, indulging in alcohol consumption, or attending risky parties.
Talking to your teen about safety, responsibility, and self-care could benefit them during this time. Although not all teens experience these challenges, they may know a peer who does. Ensuring your teen is educated about safety could keep them safe and prevent them from unnecessary risk-taking.
Effects of egocentrism in adolescents
Adolescent egocentrism has also been titled "the imaginary audience" or "the personal fable." These names may be given to illustrate that teenagers during the stage of adolescent egocentrism might believe themselves to be the focus of everyone's attention. Teens may feel this way even if they struggle with self-esteem and self-consciousness. They could believe they are being spoken about in every room or that a minor mistake could end their social life.
For this reason, during this time of adolescent egocentrism, some individuals might struggle to open up socially, as they may believe their peers are closely monitoring and judging their every move. Others might act out in loud, aggressive, and explosive displays, attempting to maintain control or reject vulnerability.
The "imaginary audience"
The so-called "imaginary audience" may feel like the whole world to a teen but might only be composed of their own peers from school. Teens might strive to impress one another, sometimes through "daring" feats or falsehoods designed to make them appear trendy, cool, or unique. The imaginary audience is often somewhat responsible for teenagers' personality traits and desires and attempts to embody personal uniqueness. Sometimes, a tool called the Imaginary Audience Scale is used by mental health professionals to evaluate adolescents’ concerns about being judged by an imaginary audience. It’s likely that imaginary audiences played a significant role in many people’s adolescent years.
The "personal fable"
The "personal fable" describes the unrealistic way teenagers may view themselves and the world around them. Adolescents’ belief that the world is small or confined to their city and school can be considered part of the personal fable. They may fail to understand success and failure on a more significant scale.
A minor setback may feel like "the end of the world" to a teen. Although a parent might know this is untrue, they can support their teen by meeting them where they're at and validating their emotional response. Telling teenagers that they're being unrealistic, silly, or confusing could make them feel more distressed.
How can parents manage adolescent egocentrism?
As a parent, you might forget your teenage years (sometimes called the formal operational stage)or how you may have practiced or viewed adolescent egocentrism. Handling your child's behaviors might be best approached through an empathetic and understanding lens, even if it feels challenging. Try the following techniques for managing your child's behavior during early adolescence and beyond.
Connect with your kids
Connecting with your children might feel challenging, but take any opportunity to find ways to bond. If your child loves modern dance, consider taking them to a performance. If your teen is amazed by the deep ocean, visit a local museum or aquarium together. Finding any way to connect with your children can help you feel empathetic and loving toward them.
Think of your own egocentric childhood
You might not have had similar stressors as a teen that your children have now, but you could relate to some aspects. For example, perhaps there was a particular fashion fad at your school that everyone participated in to look "cool." That can be an example of the "imaginary audience" trope that is frequently a part of formal operational thought. Remembering your journey may help you develop empathy toward your children during the adolescent egocentrism stage.
Consider that this may be temporary
This stage of development may seem to stretch on. However, adolescence will someday pass, like other developmental periods and adolescents will become young adults in time. Your child may emerge healthier if the stage is handled with grace, understanding, and kindness.
Introduce new ideas
Children may broaden their horizons when exposed to unique ideas alternative worldviews, and abstract thinking, so continue introducing them to new types of music, cultural ideas, and experiences. Although these steps might not immediately eradicate the presence of egocentrism, they can help teenagers realize that they are not alone in the world and that other cultures exist.
If you can, traveling or volunteering with your teen might help them make this realization. For example, you could try a charity outing in a larger city to bring sandwiches to those experiencing homelessness or volunteer in a soup kitchen. Or you could visit a museum that discusses a tragic world event and show your teen how historic teens handled these experiences.
If you visit another country, your teen could see that adolescents in different cultures may value different foods, cultural ideas, and languages. They might learn that their community is not the only one in the world and discover that their own knowledge may be limited.
Offer support
Studies show that children require the unconditional love and support of their parents. Although you might not agree with everything your teenager says or does, you may choose to demonstrate that your love and acceptance are not conditional.
Get support from other adults
Connecting with your parents and discovering how they helped or hindered your cognitive development during this stage could also be helpful. Digging into your own experiences may help you learn more about your child and what they might be going through from a parent's perspective. It could also lend insight into how you were treated as a teenager and how that treatment during adolescence has shaped you into adulthood.
You may also find talking to friends going through the same thing helpful. Parental connections may help you feel less alone in your feelings and develop techniques by discussing ideas with another parent.
You don't have to face parenting alone
Parenting can feel rewarding, but it may also prove challenging. Some parents worry they are not acting healthily, and others find it difficult to manage emotions that form because of their child's behavior. No matter the case, individual, group, or family therapy may help you learn ways to manage these challenges.
Working hard to be a healthy parent to your child can make it challenging to fit in time for yourself. Online therapy can make attending appointments more available; Instead of traveling to an office, you can attend your appointments anywhere you have a solid internet connection.
You'll go out of your way to strengthen your bond with your child. Adolescent psychology through online therapy may also make it easier for you and your child to connect on a meaningful level. A study has shown that online therapy can feel more personal than traditional therapy. 96% of people in the study reported feeling a personal connection with their online therapists as opposed to 91% who saw face-to-face therapists. The first group was also more invested in completing homework the therapists assigned them, leading them to make real-life changes.
If you or your teen is interested in trying online counseling, platforms like BetterHelp are available for those over 18, and TeenCounseling is available for those under 18. Overall, online platforms offer a fast way to connect with a licensed professional.
Takeaway
What is adolescent egocentrism?
The American Psychological Association defines adolescent egocentrism as “the feeling of personal uniqueness often experienced in adolescence; that is, the conviction that one is special and is or should be the constant focus of others’ attention.”
The term was coined by American psychologist David Elkind in 1967 and typically affects individuals approximately 11-16 years of age. The phenomenon is understood as a natural stage of adolescent development that subsides as one ages.
Because they can sometimes be confused, it’s prudent to note that adolescent egocentrism is not the same thing as adolescent narcissism— a mental health condition in which an individual is unable to experience empathy, feels that they are superior to others, and belittles others to boost their own self-esteem.
Not all adolescents who display egocentrism to the extent that it seems narcissistic will qualify for a diagnosis of or eventually develop narcissistic personality disorder. However, research on the topic suggests that parenting styles may play a role in the risk of developing the disorder later in life.
What is an example of egocentrism and how does it affect a person’s behavior?
There are several examples of what might be considered as everyday experiences for some adolescents, including:
- Hesitancy to share personal, sensitive things about themselves for fear of being judged.
- Refusing to go out in public because they feel self-conscious about their clothes or how they look, and they assume others will judge them despite a lack of evidence-based information to confirm that’s true.
- They spend excessive time looking in the mirror and adjusting their appearance because they assume others will judge or ridicule them if they don’t look “perfect.”
- Engaging in reckless, risk-taking behavior without concern for the consequences because they think they’re immune.
What is a component of adolescent egocentrism?
According to the theory of adolescent egocentrism, there are two components commonly experienced by individuals who have it:
Imaginary audience
This is when people assume others are listening to them or watching them all the time. It can occur at any age but is most common in adolescence. In this psychological construct, adolescents tend to anticipate what others think and how they’ll react to them in social situations. These imaginings of how others will respond to them form the “imaginary audience.”
Personal fable
A personal fable is a construct assuming that they’re the center of attention, and as such, their self-concept is shaped to reflect a sense of individual uniqueness in thoughts and feelings. In other words, they believe that no one understands them because they are so emotionally complex.
In some cases, this “personal fable” feeds overconfidence and the illusion that the rules don’t apply to them and they’re immune to the consequences of risky behaviors. While children with adolescent egocentrism might tend toward reckless, risk-taking, and sensation-seeking behavior, it isn’t the only factor associated with egocentrism.
For example, some research indicates that risky behaviors in teens and adolescents may result from hormonal changes that occur during puberty, affecting portions of the brain associated with thrill-seeking behavior and sensitivity to rewards— potentially resulting in behaviors with “instant rewards” such as drug use.
In such cases, individual factors such as positive personal traits, life skills, and social competence may deter such behaviors. Other influences on risky behaviors might include relationships with family and friends, school, community, and technology. Risky behaviors in teens have also been associated with conditions like anxiety, depression, bipolar, borderline personality, and narcissistic personality disorder.
What is the difference between childhood egocentrism and adolescent egocentrism?
Typically, in adolescent egocentrism, the individual believes that others are constantly paying attention to what they do, say, and how they look. This creates a self-centeredness when they are continually concerned that others are ridiculing or judging them.
Childhood egocentrism refers to the belief in young children that others view the world from the same perspective and feel and think the same way.
How does adolescent egocentrism differ from the imaginary audience phenomenon?
Adolescent egocentrism refers to a teenage preoccupation with what others think about them, while imaginary audience phenomenon refers to an assumption that they’re the center of attention. The phenomenon of the imaginary audience is one factor in the theory of adolescent egocentrism.
What does general adolescent egocentrism refer to?
General adolescent egocentrism refers to a pattern of thoughts and perceptions often affecting teens and young adults, which are characterized by beliefs that they are the center of attention and that the rest of the world is scrutinizing their appearance and behaviors.
Although it is a normal part of development, adolescent egocentrism often affects the mental health of individuals during early adolescence, their teens, and sometimes into the young adult phase. The combination of beliefs that they are being constantly judged and scrutinized and that no one understands them can be particularly stressful and isolating, leading to challenges in relationships, self-esteem, school performance, and overall well-being.
What are the two aspects of adolescent egocentrism, according to Elkind?
According to Elkind, adolescent egocentrism consists of two factors:
- The imaginary audience— The belief that one will be subjected to constant scrutiny by others (the “imaginary audience”) without evidence to indicate that’s true.
- The personal fable— The belief that, since the world is always watching what they say and do, they must be unique, and no one else understands them. In some cases, this can result in grandiose thinking that rules and consequences don’t apply to them because they are so unique.
What makes adolescent egocentrism different than infant egocentrism?
Infants don’t experience egocentrism because they haven’t yet developed the cognitive abilities necessary to form the ideology associated with imaginary audiences and personal fables.
How do I deal with an egocentric adolescent?
Although adolescent egocentrism typically eventually subsides, it often impacts the parents and family while it’s emergent. This may be a particularly challenging time for families, as the adolescents don’t think their parents understand what they’re experiencing. This stage is typically (but not always) characterized by emotional outbursts, stubbornness, and significant self-consciousness and criticism.
Dealing with adolescents might be tricky to navigate, but there are some strategies parents can use to cope while helping their teens:
- Manage your own reaction
Controlling reactivity during conflict isn’t always easy, especially during heated disagreements. Deep breathing exercises throughout the day can help activate the parasympathetic nervous symptom’s relaxation response, making it easier to relax. Stepping away from an argument to do some deep breathing can also help cultivate more mindful speech and behaviors.
- Try to empathize
Many people experience challenges related to egocentrism during their teens and young adulthood. Thinking back on these challenges might help parents empathize with the feelings of self-consciousness and insecurity accompanying this phase of life.
- Communicate
Speaking to children as they enter early adolescence can help them prepare for some of the challenges they’ll likely face during their teens and early adulthood. Addressing topics like relationships, peer pressure, substance use, and sexuality early on can have a significant impact on how they perceive themselves during the adolescent years.
- Spend quality time with them
Bonding in a one-on-one capacity or as a family by doing things you and your teen enjoy together can provide opportunities to connect and strengthen your relationship. These connections often have a significant impact when managing adolescent egocentrism.
- Support and reassure them
Show your teen that you love and accept them unconditionally, even if you do clash on specific issues. Celebrating their successes, reminding them of their strengths, and focusing on positive outcomes can provide them with the confidence they need to navigate this challenging time.
How does egocentrism affect child development?
Egocentrism is a natural part of development in which children believe everyone else’s perceptions of reality reflect their own. In his theory of cognitive development, psychologist Jean Piaget described this phenomenon as a dominant element in the preoperational stage of development (typically emerging between around 2-7 years of age), in which children begin to think symbolically. During this phase, children learn to play make-believe yet still have challenges understanding that people don’t think, feel, and perceive precisely the same way they do.
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