Breaking The Cycle: How To Control Anger Issues

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated November 13, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Anger is a natural and healthy emotion. However, if it’s not properly managed and controlled, it can negatively impact relationships, work, health, and overall well-being. Here, we’ll explore strategies that may help you address unhealthy anger and promote more effective emotional responses.

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Does your anger feel overwhelming or out of control?

Angry thoughts and their impact on mental health

Like other emotions, anger can influence mental health in various ways. When experienced in moderation, anger may serve as an appropriate response to perceived threats or injustices. However, frequent, intense, or uncontrolled anger may negatively affect psychological well-being and interpersonal relationships.

Persistent anger can also contribute to various mental health challenges and physical health effects. Understanding anger and its effects on health can be a first step in developing positive coping mechanisms. Recognizing that anger can be a healthy emotion when expressed appropriately is part of this understanding.

How anger can affect your physical and mental health

Anger activates the body's stress response, releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. This response can be protective in threatening situations, but frequent activation may lead to health challenges.

Physically, chronic anger may contribute to cardiovascular problems and blood vessel dysfunction. Mentally, unresolved anger can lead to negative thinking patterns and difficulties in maintaining relationships. The ongoing stress it causes has also been linked to depression and anxiety. These are just a few reasons why developing healthy coping techniques for anger can be so important.

Recognizing the signs of rising anger

Learning to identify signs of rising anger in yourself is often the first step in addressing anger management challenges. These signs can manifest as physical, emotional, and behavioral changes.

Many individuals experience both emotional and physical symptoms when they feel angry. Some common signs of building anger include:

  • Clenching fists or jaw
  • Flushed face
  • Muscle tension
  • Racing thoughts
  • Rapid breathing and heart rate
  • Impulsive thoughts and actions

The connection between anger and anxiety

Anger and anxiety are often related, with one emotion potentially initiating or exacerbating the other. Understanding this connection can provide insights into managing both emotions.

For example, anxiety can sometimes manifest as irritability or anger, particularly when an individual feels overwhelmed. Conversely, anger issues may lead to increased anxiety about potential conflicts.

Managing anxiety to better control anger issues

Techniques for managing anxiety may also help control anger. For example, relaxation methods such as deep breathing exercises could help reduce both anxiety and anger responses.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies may also be effective in addressing anxiety and anger. These approaches involve learning to identify thought patterns that contribute to emotional distress. By recognizing and challenging these thoughts, individuals can eventually come to respond differently to situations that may cause anger.

Identifying causes and patterns in anger issues

Understanding the underlying causes and patterns of anger can be a step toward developing appropriate management strategies. Anger can stem from various sources, including past experiences, current stressors, and individual personality traits.

Common catalysts for anger may include feeling disrespected or facing situations that feel out of one's control. Physical factors such as lack of sleep, hunger, or physical discomfort can also contribute to increased irritability.

Tracking your anger: thoughts, feelings, and situations

Keeping a record of anger episodes may provide insights into personal patterns and situations that lead to this emotion. This tracking process can include noting the circumstances that lead to anger, the thoughts and feelings experienced, and the resulting behaviors.

Over time, patterns may emerge, highlighting specific circumstances or thought processes that consistently cause anger. This information can be used to develop strategies for managing this feeling by understanding how different events affect your emotional responses.

Developing effective anger management strategies

Anger management techniques are tools that may help you reduce the intensity of angry feelings and promote healthier emotional responses. One approach involves learning to recognize early signs of anger and implementing calming techniques. These might include taking a brief time-out or practicing deep breathing to prevent anger from escalating.

Cognitive restructuring techniques can also be helpful. This technique involves identifying and challenging thought patterns that contribute to anger. By reframing situations, individuals can often reduce the intensity of their angry reactions.

Some additional anger management strategies that may promote healthy emotional responses include:

  • Engaging in physical activity to release tension and stress
  • Seeking support from loved ones
  • Seeking support from a therapist
  • Learning how to communicate effectively and express emotions clearly

Mindfulness techniques to control your anger

Mindfulness practices can be effective in managing anger. These techniques involve focusing on the present moment without judgment, which can help individuals step back from intense emotions. One technique to consider trying is the "STOP" method:

  • Stop what you’re doing
  • Take a slow, deep breath
  • Observe your thoughts and feelings
  • Proceed with a more mindful response

Taking this brief pause to breathe deeply can create space between the stimulus and the reaction. For some people, completing this exercise may provide the time needed to de-escalate their anger.

A regular meditation practice may also enhance emotional regulation skills. Even short daily sessions can help individuals become more aware of their emotional states and reduce stress.

Communication skills to express how you're feeling without aggression

Effective communication can help you manage anger in interpersonal situations. Learning to express feelings and needs assertively—without resorting to aggression or passive-aggressive behavior—can help improve relationships and reduce conflict.

Using "I" statements can be a healthy way to communicate feelings without blaming others. For example, saying "I feel frustrated when..." instead of "You always make me angry when you..." can lead to more productive conversations.

Active listening and assertive expression of thoughts

Active listening skills can also be valuable in managing anger. By hearing and acknowledging others' perspectives, you may be able to de-escalate tense situations. Active listening involves focusing on the speaker, acknowledging their message, and responding thoughtfully. This approach can help reduce misunderstandings that often fuel anger in conversations.

Similarly, assertive communication involves expressing one's needs and feelings clearly while also considering the rights and feelings of others. This approach can help individuals advocate for themselves without conflicts and anger escalating. Learning both of these skills can be beneficial for expressing anger and other emotions in a safe and healthy manner.

The role of self-care in managing anger

Self-care can play a role in managing anger and promoting emotional well-being too. Caring for your physical and emotional needs can help you build resilience and reduce your reactivity to anger-inducing situations.

For example, regular exercise, adequate sleep, and balanced eating patterns can all help you with emotional regulation. Physical activity in particular may serve as a healthy outlet for pent-up energy and emotions.

Engaging in enjoyable activities and maintaining social connections can also support emotional balance. These experiences may help you build stress resilience and provide a buffer against anger-inducing situations.

Exercise and its impact on how you're feeling

Engaging in cardiovascular exercise in particular can be a powerful form of self-care for emotional regulation. Scientific research suggests that regular physical activity can impact mood and emotional regulation. One reason is that exercise releases endorphins, which can influence      overall well-being and stress levels.

Aerobic exercises in particular—like dancing, jogging, swimming, or biking—may be effective in reducing tension. These activities can provide an outlet for excess energy and may help clear the mind. Even short bursts of activity, like a brisk walk, jumping jacks, or dynamic stretching, can help manage anger in the moment. In addition, incorporating regular exercise into one's routine over the long term may improve anger management and overall stress reduction.

Ways to get help to control your anger

While self-help strategies can be effective, some individuals may also benefit from seeking professional anger management support. Mental health professionals can provide strategies and tools for addressing anger issues.

Therapy can help individuals explore the causes of their anger, develop coping mechanisms, and work through emotional challenges. A therapist can provide accountability and support throughout the process of growth as well.

Professional guidance can also assist in developing healthier emotional responses and addressing any underlying or related challenges, such as depression, interpersonal conflict, or substance misuse (formerly known as substance abuse), if applicable. A trained therapist can tailor techniques and provide a safe space to learn how to manage unhealthy emotional reactions.

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

Types of therapy for anger management

Therapy can take many forms, and each individual may benefit from a different approach. Some common types of therapy for anger management include:

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy focuses on identifying and replacing thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to anger.
  • Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT incorporates mindfulness techniques and skills training for emotional regulation.
  • Psychodynamic therapy: This approach explores the underlying causes of anger and helps individuals understand and address unresolved emotions.
  • Group therapy: Group sessions can provide a supportive environment to learn from others' experiences, practice skills, and receive feedback.
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Does your anger feel overwhelming or out of control?

Finding support from a therapist online

For those who aren’t able to travel to and from in-person therapy appointments or don’t have providers nearby, online therapy might be a more convenient option for receiving mental health support. One advantage is the increased likelihood of finding a therapist you truly connect with, since online platforms allow you to connect with a broader pool of providers than just those located near you. This personal connection can be helpful when discussing sensitive topics like anger. Additionally, online therapy often provides more flexible scheduling options, making it easier to fit sessions into busy lifestyles and to support consistent progress.

In general, a growing body of research supports the effectiveness of online therapy for addressing anger. Studies suggest reduced anger expression and aggression in individuals using online interventions. The most substantial improvements were observed in those who initially presented with more severe anger symptoms.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step toward managing anger. By utilizing anger management techniques alongside self-care and professional support, individuals may be able to learn to express emotions in a healthier and more productive manner.

Takeaway

Managing anger is a process that usually involves self-awareness, skill development, and practice. Individuals may be able to work towards healthier emotional responses by understanding anger, recognizing personal patterns, and implementing positive coping strategies. If you’re struggling to find out how to control anger issues, you might seek professional support from a therapist.

Learn to separate anger from behavior
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