Controlling Anger And Angry Feelings
Various situations can provoke anger, from being caught in an unexpected traffic jam to being denied a job promotion. While anger may be a natural part of interacting with other humans, losing control of your anger can become a problem. There are a range of anger management strategies you can use to get your anger back under control and learn how to effectively process angry feelings, which a mental health professional may also help with.
Positive aspects of angry feelings
Anger is a healthy emotion that can be a typical part of daily life. This feeling may indicate that you are being mistreated or that an injustice is being committed. Paying attention to all levels of anger, from mild irritation to rage, may help you identify aspects of your life that could benefit from changing. For example, if you frequently feel angry at work, you might consider looking for a new job.
When anger becomes a problem
When you are able to control anger, this emotion may not be much of a concern. Expressing your anger in a calm and straightforward way can be healthy and productive. Uncontrolled anger, however, can be problematic. If you frequently experience anger escalating to the point where you have the urge to act aggressively or behave in a way that you regret later, these can be indications of anger issues, which may benefit from formal anger management. Understanding the difference between emotion and behavior can also be helpful. Although you cannot control how you feel, you can control how you respond to your emotions.
Mental health conditions that can lead to difficulty controlling anger
In some cases, having difficulty keeping your anger in check could be a sign of a larger mental health concern. Several mental health conditions could lead to disproportionate or otherwise problematic anger, including intermittent explosive disorder and mood disorders like depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. Trauma- and stress-induced disorders like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can also lead to a heightened emotional state, which can potentially exacerbate anger.
Anger management strategies: Deep breathing, mindfulness, and other tips to reduce stress
Researchers have found several strategies to reduce anger and improve mental health, including but not limited to the following.
Deep breathing for anger issues
Deep breathing can calm your body’s nervous system response to various emotions, including anger. One technique, in particular, known as “four four four” breathing, may be especially effective. With this method, you inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. “Belly breathing,” or intentionally breathing into your stomach, may also settle your emotions and potentially defuse anger.
Mindfulness and connecting to your body and feelings
Mindfulness is the practice of grounding yourself in the present moment. Deep breathing, meditation, and body scanning can all be forms of mindfulness. Body scanning may be particularly effective in decreasing anger, as you can identify which parts of your body are most impacted by angry feelings. For example, many people may clench their jaw or tense their hands when angry. Understanding this fact about yourself may help you identify when you’re angry and choose to take a break.
The importance of exercise and physical activity
Moving your body and engaging in physical activity can be one of the more reliable ways to reduce stress. Any form of exercise, from a complicated gym routine to a brisk walk around your neighborhood, can be beneficial for helping you work through feelings of anger and irritation. Spending quiet time alone and focusing on your physical wellness can also help you cool off if you have recently experienced an angry episode.
Other strategies to reduce stress
While the strategies mentioned above may be effective at reducing anger at the moment it arises, adopting a few fundamental lifestyle changes to reduce your overall stress levels may be more effective at mediating your anger in the long term. Prioritizing self-care, including establishing a regular sleep schedule and eating nutritious foods, can help with a number of emotional difficulties. Intentionally spending time with loved ones or on hobbies that bring joy, like engaging in art or exploring nature, may also relieve stress.
Mental health support for anger issues
Whether or not an underlying mental health condition causes your anger difficulties, a therapist can provide support for learning to manage your anger. They can help you develop strategies to keep your anger in check and under control and connect you to resources for addressing any underlying mental health concerns that could be contributing to higher anger levels.
Those who struggle to control their anger effectively may experience intense embarrassment and shame about their angry outbursts. If you feel ashamed of your angry behavior, you may find speaking to a therapist in person about the situation challenging. Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be a beneficial alternative in this scenario. Speaking to a therapist via video chat, phone call, or in-app messaging may help to create a bit of distance and encourage you to open up more about your angry experiences. In addition, online therapy can be more cost-effective.
Research has indicated that online therapy may be as effective as traditional in-person therapy at addressing a range of life concerns, including anger issues. One study found that an online therapeutic intervention reduced problematic anger symptoms in people experiencing anger management difficulties.
Takeaway
Everyone may experience some out-of-control anger at various points in their lives. However, if you regularly struggle to keep your anger in check, you may benefit from implementing anger management strategies into your daily life. A therapist can help you develop the most effective anger management plan for your specific needs and keep you accountable for learning how to control your anger.
Frequently asked questions
Below are some frequently asked questions about controlling anger.
Why do I get angry so easily?
Research has indicated that experiencing recent stressors may heighten a person’s anger response. Additionally, growing up in a household where anger was regularly role-modeled as an appropriate emotional reaction may lead someone to default to anger when experiencing emotional distress. Struggling to take responsibility for behavioral patterns can also lead to more frequent outbursts.
What emotion is behind anger?
Anger can be considered a secondary emotion in some circumstances, meaning it is not less important than other emotions but might be a response to a hidden emotion underneath. In certain situations, anger may be masking fear, pain, or humiliation. For example, if you are angry at a coworker for blaming you for a project that went poorly, your anger may be tied to fear of losing your job. Understanding the emotions behind your anger may help you more effectively predict and control your anger response.
What is the best medication for anger management and irritability?
Currently, there are no medications specifically designed to address anger problems. However, if your anger is associated with a mental health condition, a medication intended to treat the mental illness may also help with managing your anger. Mood stabilizers and antidepressants might reduce irritability for some people.
The BetterHelp platform is not intended for any information regarding which drugs, medication, or medical treatment may be appropriate for you. The content provides generalized information that is not specific to one individual. You should not take any action without consulting a qualified medical professional.
How can I control my anger?
To control your anger and stay calm, there are multiple steps you can take. Relaxation techniques like imagining a relaxing scene, talking to a friend, practicing mindfulness, writing about your frustration in a journal, or practicing deep breathing to reduce your heart rate can all be effective options to deal with anger. When you notice yourself getting upset, take a minute to remove yourself from the situation and practice one of these techniques. Remind yourself that anger is temporary and will pass.
How can I stop being so angry?
To relax and stop letting your anger control your behavior, try to see anger as an emotion the prompts urges instead of an emotion that controls you. When you notice signs of anger arising, remind yourself you can control the way you speak, act, and listen. Talk in a calm voice, even if you don’t feel calm. Listen carefully to others if you’re in a social situation. If you become increasingly mad, consider removing yourself from the situation until you have had time to calm down. Aggression is a behavior, not an emotion, so you have the choice to not act aggressively toward others in your relationships and in daily life.
What are the five keys to controlling anger?
There are many strategies you can use to control anger. Below are five strategies to try:
- Laugh: Laughing and smiling when you’re angry or watching a funny video online might help you calm your anger.
- Distract yourself so you get tired: Tire yourself so you don’t have the energy to feel angry. You might do so by distracting yourself with physical activity or busy work.
- Write down what you’re thinking: Getting the words you want to say out can be helpful, but not if they harm someone else. For this reason, consider writing down what makes you angry on paper. You can burn or rip the paper when you’re done.
- Ask for help: Talking to a loved one or a professional may be helpful in reducing anger.
- Use a stress ball or fidget item: Getting your hands busy may be helpful for relieving stress. Consider squeezing a stress ball.
Anger can cause challenges like high blood pressure, which may lead to heart disease. So working with a therapist can often be a helpful way to improve your mental and physical health simultaneously.
Why do I get so angry so easily?
Some people may get angry daily or multiple times throughout the day, such as when their child or kids are screaming or making a mess, or when their partner doesn’t respond in the way they expected. These feelings are natural. However, how you react to them is what matters. If you get angry easily, you might look at the root cause. Often, people get angry because they are overwhelmed, hyperstimulated, or being attacked in some way. Some people may be angry if they bottle in their other emotions, like sadness. Expressing emotions healthily when they appear may help you reduce your anger response.
What emotion is behind anger?
Anger is sometimes considered a “secondary emotion,” meaning it occurs in response to another emotion like sadness. However, anger can also occur naturally and can be a primary emotion. People who suppress emotions like sadness, love, and fear may be more likely to experience anger as a secondary emotional response. They might feel angry at themselves for having these emotions and associate them with “weakness.”
Why do I get so angry over little things?
If you often get angry over “little” details or small occurrences, you might be suppressing another emotion. You may also be overwhelmed with your life, experiencing sensory overload, or being mistreated. Talking to a therapist may help you understand the cause of your anger.
How can I train myself to control my anger?
You can learn coping skills to deal with the behavioral urges that often accompany anger. Talking to a therapist is one of the most effective ways to learn new coping skills. However, you can also try techniques you read about online or talk to people you love for support. Reminding yourself that anger is an emotion and not a behavior may help you reduce unhealthy behaviors.
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