Controlling Anger And Angry Feelings

Updated November 11, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Various situations can provoke anger, from being caught in an unexpected traffic jam to being denied a job promotion. While anger may be a natural part of interacting with other humans, losing control of your anger can become a problem. There are a range of anger management strategies you can use to get your anger back under control and learn how to effectively process angry feelings, which a mental health professional may also help with. 

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Are you struggling to keep your anger in check?

Positive aspects of angry feelings

Anger is a healthy emotion that can be a typical part of daily life. This feeling may indicate that you are being mistreated or that an injustice is being committed. Paying attention to all levels of anger, from mild irritation to rage, may help you identify aspects of your life that could benefit from changing. For example, if you frequently feel angry at work, you might consider looking for a new job. 

When anger becomes a problem

When you are able to control anger, this emotion may not be much of a concern. Expressing your anger in a calm and straightforward way can be healthy and productive. Uncontrolled anger, however, can be problematic. If you frequently experience anger escalating to the point where you have the urge to act aggressively or behave in a way that you regret later, these can be indications of anger issues, which may benefit from formal anger management. Understanding the difference between emotion and behavior can also be helpful. Although you cannot control how you feel, you can control how you respond to your emotions. 

Mental health conditions that can lead to difficulty controlling anger

In some cases, having difficulty keeping your anger in check could be a sign of a larger mental health concern. Several mental health conditions could lead to disproportionate or otherwise problematic anger, including intermittent explosive disorder and mood disorders like depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. Trauma- and stress-induced disorders like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can also lead to a heightened emotional state, which can potentially exacerbate anger. 

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Anger management strategies: Deep breathing, mindfulness, and other tips to reduce stress

Researchers have found several strategies to reduce anger and improve mental health, including but not limited to the following. 

Deep breathing for anger issues

Deep breathing can calm your body’s nervous system response to various emotions, including anger. One technique, in particular, known as “four four four” breathing, may be especially effective. With this method, you inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. “Belly breathing,” or intentionally breathing into your stomach, may also settle your emotions and potentially defuse anger.  

Mindfulness and connecting to your body and feelings

Mindfulness is the practice of grounding yourself in the present moment. Deep breathing, meditation, and body scanning can all be forms of mindfulness. Body scanning may be particularly effective in decreasing anger, as you can identify which parts of your body are most impacted by angry feelings. For example, many people may clench their jaw or tense their hands when angry. Understanding this fact about yourself may help you identify when you’re angry and choose to take a break. 

The importance of exercise and physical activity

Moving your body and engaging in physical activity can be one of the more reliable ways to reduce stress. Any form of exercise, from a complicated gym routine to a brisk walk around your neighborhood, can be beneficial for helping you work through feelings of anger and irritation. Spending quiet time alone and focusing on your physical wellness can also help you cool off if you have recently experienced an angry episode. 

Other strategies to reduce stress

While the strategies mentioned above may be effective at reducing anger at the moment it arises, adopting a few fundamental lifestyle changes to reduce your overall stress levels may be more effective at mediating your anger in the long term. Prioritizing self-care, including establishing a regular sleep schedule and eating nutritious foods, can help with a number of emotional difficulties. Intentionally spending time with loved ones or on hobbies that bring joy, like engaging in art or exploring nature, may also relieve stress. 

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Are you struggling to keep your anger in check?

Mental health support for anger issues

Whether or not an underlying mental health condition causes your anger difficulties, a therapist can provide support for learning to manage your anger. They can help you develop strategies to keep your anger in check and under control and connect you to resources for addressing any underlying mental health concerns that could be contributing to higher anger levels. 

Those who struggle to control their anger effectively may experience intense embarrassment and shame about their angry outbursts. If you feel ashamed of your angry behavior, you may find speaking to a therapist in person about the situation challenging. Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be a beneficial alternative in this scenario. Speaking to a therapist via video chat, phone call, or in-app messaging may help to create a bit of distance and encourage you to open up more about your angry experiences. In addition, online therapy can be more cost-effective. 

Research has indicated that online therapy may be as effective as traditional in-person therapy at addressing a range of life concerns, including anger issues. One study found that an online therapeutic intervention reduced problematic anger symptoms in people experiencing anger management difficulties. 

Takeaway

Everyone may experience some out-of-control anger at various points in their lives. However, if you regularly struggle to keep your anger in check, you may benefit from implementing anger management strategies into your daily life. A therapist can help you develop the most effective anger management plan for your specific needs and keep you accountable for learning how to control your anger. 

Learn to separate anger from behavior
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