Coping Skills For Anger: How Anger Management Can Help You Process Angry Feelings
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Anger can be an expected part of life and a normal response to certain situations. However, anger can become maladaptive if you have trouble expressing it in a productive way or maintaining a level of control over the way you react to it. Experiencing uncontrolled anger, struggling to manage anger, and living with anger that impacts your relationships could be signs of a mental health condition that may benefit from treatment.
Signs your anger may be getting out of control
In general, the human experience naturally includes a wide range of emotions. You might feel angry from time to time without needing to worry about living with anger issues.
However, if you frequently experience anger, have difficulty managing anger, or your anger leads to aggressive behavior that takes a toll on your personal relationships, these can all be warning signs that you might want to seek professional help. Uncontrolled anger can be a sign of a mental health condition in some cases.
Mental health conditions associated with anger
Anger can be a diagnostic criterion for several mental health disorders, including intermittent explosive disorder, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder, among others.
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED)
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental illness defined primarily by unexpected episodes of intense anger, often disproportionate to the situation and resulting in aggressive and potentially violent behavior.
Regular IED episodes can lead to damaged relationships and a negative impact on one’s ability to work and be a functional member of society. People with IED may experience intense shame and embarrassment about their perceived inability to control their anger.
Mood disorders
While many people associate mood disorders like depression with sadness, people with mood disorders can experience a range of emotions, including anger.
Irritability and a tendency to “snap” tend to be associated with both depression and anxiety (although anxiety is not categorized as a mood disorder). Bipolar disorder is another example of a mood disorder that can involve angry outbursts, with anger potentially linked to both manic and depressive episodes.
Other disorders
Several other mental health disorders can involve difficulties with anger. Substance use disorders, particularly alcohol and stimulant use disorders, may lead someone to become quicker to react angrily.
Meanwhile, the hypervigilance and heightened arousal associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can lead to intense emotional reactions, including anger.
Finally, personality disorders like borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder can come with angry tendencies in some cases.
Strategies for managing anger: Deep breathing, physical activity, and more
Discover a few potential strategies for managing anger below.
Deep breathing and mindfulness practices
Anger may seem to send your body and brain into overdrive. Sometimes, taking a moment to stop and reconnect with your body can calm this automatic tendency. Practicing mindfulness techniques in which you ground yourself in the present moment can be one method to help you manage your anger.
You can use a deep breathing strategy like inhaling for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, and exhaling for four seconds to calm your mind and body. You could also engage in progressive muscle relaxation, in which you tense and release one muscle group at a time until your whole body is more relaxed.
Physical activity and exercise
Basic self-care can be another method to address anger concerns, and engaging in regular physical activity can be a fundamental part of any self-care routine. Additionally, a tendency toward anger has been linked to high levels of stress, and research indicates that exercise can be an effective means of reducing both stress and anger.
Your exercise routine does not have to involve a gym membership or be intensely complicated – a brisk walk around your neighborhood can be enough to make a difference.
Other anger management strategies
You may find it helpful to identify triggers that seem to lead to anger. Keeping track of your emotions and what precipitates them in a “feelings journal” may help you manage anger by identifying situations that tend to make you angry. You can then either attempt to avoid those kinds of situations in the future, or you can approach them with the understanding that you may be likely to become angry. Having strategies on hand, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and taking a break from the situation, may help you cope with any angry feelings that arise.
Mental health support for anger management
If you suspect your anger is related to a mental health condition, or if none of your anger management techniques seem to be working, it may be time to speak to a mental health professional. Therapists trained in anger assessment and control may be able to identify where your anger is coming from and how to address it.
Online therapy with a mental health counselor to manage anger
Anger, particularly anger that leads to aggression or violence, can contribute to intense emotions of shame and embarrassment. If you are feeling ashamed of your angry outbursts, you may have trouble opening up to a therapist to receive the help you deserve.
In these situations, online therapy may be more accessible than traditional in-person therapy. Speaking to a therapist via video conference, phone call, or online chat could take some of the pressure off and encourage you to be more honest with your provider.
Research has indicated that online therapy can be as effective as traditional in-person therapy for addressing anger concerns. One study found that a group of people who completed an online therapeutic intervention typically reported lower levels of problematic anger symptoms compared to a control group.
Takeaway
Frequently asked questions
Below are some frequently asked questions about coping skills for anger.
What is anger trying to tell you?
Anger can be a healthy reaction to mistreatment or injustice, either from your direct experience or from witnessing such an occurrence with a loved one. When anger is proportional to the situation at hand, it can signal a problematic pattern with a relationship or an environment, like a workplace. Anger can be a positive motivator for change in these situations.
What relieves anger?
There are several strategies a person can employ to relieve their anger, many of which are discussed above. Another effective strategy is the concept of a “time out.” In the moment, controlling anger can be difficult, so sometimes, taking a step aside – explaining that you are going to go for a walk, or saying, “Let’s talk about this again in 10 minutes” – can help you calm yourself and approach the situation with a level head.
What emotion is behind anger?
Anger can sometimes be viewed as a “secondary” emotion. This designation does not mean that it is less important than other emotions but that anger might be a reaction to a more basic and primal emotion. For example, if you experience anger in response to a work colleague blaming their mistake on you, the emotion underneath the anger could be the fear of losing your job. Understanding the origin of your anger may help you manage it more effectively.
How to cope with rage?
Rage can be challenging to manage, but some techniques can help you cope with your anger and stay calm.
- Notice warning signs. Keeping yourself calm rather than trying to calm down can be easier. One thing that can help you do this is to identify warning signs that you are beginning to get agitated. When you recognize that your anger is building, take a step back and try to calm yourself down.
- Don’t hold onto things that make you mad. Rehashing arguments or holding onto grudges can bring up old feelings about issues that may have already been resolved. Try to focus on what you appreciate about that person in the here and now instead of remembering the things that made you angry.
- Shift your thinking. When emotions are high, things may seem worse than they really are. Try to replace unhelpful thoughts with more reasonable ones. Some ways to do this might be to avoid using words like “always” or “never,” use logic to gain a more balanced perspective, or practice relaxation exercises to help you keep a clearer head.
How to help someone with anger outbursts?
If anger outbursts are causing problems in your relationship, there are some strategies you can use to support someone who is experiencing anger.
First, try to stay calm, as this can help prevent the situation from escalating. Listen to what they are saying without judgment. Sometimes, people who are angry may calm down if they feel like someone is listening.
If things escalate, give them space and take some for yourself. Taking space can mean giving yourself a few minutes to walk around the block, or it may be more substantial, like a few days apart, before coming back together to work toward a resolution.
You can also help the other person learn to identify their triggers, though this may be more effective when the person is calm. Identifying triggers can help them understand what may be contributing to their anger and how they can handle it in the future.
It can also be beneficial to prioritize taking care of yourself. Set boundaries, be clear in advance of what you are willing to tolerate, and have a plan for what you will do if someone crosses that line. Although you may want to help the other person, you do not have to put up with anything that makes you feel unsafe.
How to control emotions and anger?
Many strategies can help you learn to control your emotions and manage anger, including the following:
- Take some deep breaths or practice other relaxation techniques to calm yourself down before saying something you might regret later.
- Establish a regular exercise routine to reduce stress. When you feel your anger start to rise, you can also try engaging in some type of physical activity, like going for a walk around the block or climbing up and down the stairs.
- Take a break. Taking a few minutes of quiet time throughout the day can help you be better prepared to handle any stress that lies ahead.
- Seek help from a professional. Learning to control anger and other emotions can be challenging. A trained mental health professional can help you learn more about what contributes to your anger and coping skills to help you maintain control.
How to be less sensitive to anger?
To be less sensitive to anger, it can help to pay attention to your normal reactions to triggers and then work on controlling them.
For example, if your natural response to inconveniences of daily life, like a traffic jam, is rage instead of mild irritation, you can focus on relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or relaxing imagery, to help manage your emotions when stuck in traffic. You can also try using logic to remind yourself that what you are experiencing is likely only a temporary setback. The more you actively try to control your response to your triggers, the less sensitive you may become to them.
What are the 5 keys to controlling anger?
There are many possible solutions to controlling anger. Here are five things to keep in mind.
- Identify your triggers. When you know what contributes to your anger, you can work on more precise strategies to control it.
- Use relaxation techniques. Techniques like deep breathing, imagery, yoga, or meditation can help you relax in general and give you tools you can use in the long run when you feel your anger escalating.
- Focus on communication. People may be more likely to hear you when you communicate calmly and assertively. Slow down, think about what you really want to say, and take the time to listen carefully to the other person.
- Change your environment. A little distance can go a long way. If you feel your anger increasing, excuse yourself to another room or take a break outside. Sometimes, a change of scenery can help you get a different perspective.
- Get professional help. If you are having a difficult time controlling anger on your own, get support from a mental health professional. A therapist can help you identify any factors contributing to your anger and learn strategies for managing them.
How to release suppressed anger?
There are many unhealthy ways to release pent-up or suppressed anger, like punching a wall or smashing things, but if you’re looking for a productive way to get out of this emotional state, there are strategies you can try that may be more productive. Mindfulness meditation, journaling, and ground exercises can all help you get in touch with buried feelings. If you need additional support, consider working with a therapist to learn more about how to process your anger.
How do you make rage go away?
Some techniques you can use to reduce stress when you feel your anger intensifying include vigorous exercise, journaling, screaming into a pillow, drawing, changing your surroundings, or putting on some music that can help you channel your anger by dancing or singing.
What is a coping mechanism for anger?
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, there are a variety of ways to cope with anger. For example, you can focus on recognizing cues that you are starting to get angry and using relaxation techniques to help calm yourself before those feelings escalate. Some methods you can try include taking deep, slow breaths or getting a change of scenery.
Another coping mechanism for anger is assertive communication. Rather than confronting someone when your anger is escalating, wait until it is at a manageable level. When expressing anger, choose your words carefully so they get a better sense of why you are upset, use “I” statements, and avoid placing blame.
What are the six stages of rage?
Psychotherapist Ronald T. Potter-Efron identified the six stages of rage. They are as follows:
- Activation: This is the event that triggers the emotion.
- Modulation: Modulation refers to how the person sees and understands the event.
- Preparation: The person gets ready to react to the event.
- Action: Action is what the person actually does to respond to their emotions.
- Feedback: Feedback involves the person processing what has happened since the activation event.
- Deactivation: This stage is when the person returns to a calm state.
How do you heal in rage?
There are healthy ways to manage rage, frustration, stress, and extra tension. Learning techniques to stay calm and assertive ways to communicate your anger can help. If you are having a difficult time letting go of anger, working with a mental health professional can help you understand other factors that may be contributing to these emotions and learn coping mechanisms that can help you heal.
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