Six Techniques For Healthily Managing Your Anger
Anger is a common and healthy emotion that anyone can experience, and there are times when it is normal to feel anger. However, pervasive patterns of anger can take a toll on your mental and physical health.
When you’re angry and coping with unhealthy forms of anger-motivated behavior, it can be valuable to have stress-reduction and relaxation techniques to use to manage them.
This article explores what anger is, techniques that may help you control anger before it controls you, and mental health options like talk therapy that can help you learn more about anger management.
What is anger?
Anger is a natural emotion that almost everyone feels on occasion. Emotions serve to indicate to your body and mind that stimuli have changed your mental state. Anger often communicates that a situation is dangerous, untrustworthy, or unhealthy and can sometimes signal a hindrance or threat. However, some people may experience anger without an apparent cause or in response to stimuli that don’t fit the severity of the emotion. To understand and mitigate anger, it can be beneficial to look into yourself to find the underlying primary emotions or events inciting it.
For example, stress about work, relationships, or driving are common causes of anger. Even if you don’t understand the cause, talking to a professional specializing in anger can be beneficial. Some people take anger management classes to understand their anger and socialize with others with similar challenges.
An anger expert may also help you form healthier responses to anger. Anger itself is not unhealthy, but the actions people choose to take that are motivated by anger can be. Learning to manage behaviors motivated by anger can mean separating them from the emotion and understanding that they are a choice.
Signs of anger
There are several warning signs associated with anger. If you find yourself experiencing multiple symptoms, consider taking a step back from the situation. Below are a few of the most common:
An increased heart rate
A clenched jaw
An increased body temperature
Urges to harm yourself or others physically
Urges to yell
A desire to escape
Resentment
Cravings for substance use
Raising vocal volume
A loss of humor
Increased blood pressure
Anger is not necessarily unhealthy. Recognizing the signs of anger may help you identify when it would be beneficial to manage or remove yourself from a situation altogether. When you feel tension rising, try to tell yourself that you can control your anger-related thoughts and the behaviors you have in response.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Six ways to healthily cope with anger
There are a multitude of ways to manage anger skillfully. Some methods may work better for some people than for others. Nevertheless, having several ways to cope with anger may help you stay calm and manage your emotions healthily.
Take a break
Anger can be an intense emotion. When someone feels angry, their base reaction may involve trying to find a release, whether that involves screaming at the source of their anger, throwing an object at a wall, or acting violently. These choices are destructive and can make a stressful situation worse.
Pausing or taking a break when anger arises may help you feel better positioned to react. After taking a break, you may find that you can assess the situation with more logic. A logical mindset can help you determine the wisest, most practical next step. Pausing can also prevent you from acting in a way that could damage a relationship or cause legal trouble.
While taking a break, take deep breaths. If you continue to have an anger urge, act opposite to the urge until it subsides. Some people might send a message or say something they believe is warranted when angry but regret it when their anger subsides. Ask yourself how you would react if you weren’t angry, and act that way until you can make a logical choice.
Walk away
Walking away can be another constructive way of coping with anger. Walking away can prevent you from feeling angrier about the situation, as further stimuli may occur if you’re still in the area. It can also stop you from acting in ways you might regret and save you from being hurt by other individuals who are angry. If you’re in a social situation, you can say, “I need a moment by myself.” Setting this boundary allows others to give you space as you “cool off.”
Exercise
Exercise and phsyical activity is a constructive and healthy way of coping with anger. Stretching, lifting weights, exercising on the treadmill, or walking can produce endorphins that offer a mood boost. Taking your frustration out on a boxing bag or some weights instead of a person can save you from making choices that hurt you in the long run. However, avoid aggressive exercises like boxing, wrestling, or punching a bag, as these activities can increase anger.
Count to ten
Counting to ten as a means of coping with anger may sound juvenile to some people, but it can be a healthy, helpful method for managing anger. Counting to ten offers you time to think before you respond and may prevent you from behaving in a way you might regret. By directing your attention to the counting, you may allow your rational mind time to kick in instead of following the immediate, destructive instinct of lashing out.
If counting to ten isn’t helping quell aggressive behavior and thoughts as much as you’d like, consider trying progressive muscle relaxation. According to apa.org, progressive muscle relaxation is a “technique in which the individual is trained to relax the entire body by becoming aware of tensions in various muscle groups and then relaxing one muscle group at a time. In some cases, the individual consciously tenses specific muscles or muscle groups and then releases tension to achieve relaxation throughout the body.”
You might benefit from looking for videos online that guide you through progressive muscle relaxation mediations to learn this method so you can use it later. Alternatively, try finding a therapist who is willing to teach you these methods.
Make a lifestyle change
A lifestyle change may be beneficial if you are constantly around people or in environments that incite anger. Some people find that lifestyle changes mean the end of an unhealthy relationship, finding a new place to work, or removing themselves from an unhealthy dynamic. Ongoing anger can become chronic, which can negatively affect your mental, emotional, and physical health.
Learn five ways to manage anger more skilfully
Talk to an online therapist
Connect with a therapist
If you struggle to cope with anger after trying several coping mechanisms daily, you might also benefit from talking to a professional. It is brave to reach out for support, and many therapists specialize in anger management techniques that have been proven to work.
If you feel ashamed about visiting a therapist face-to-face about your anger, you can also consider an online therapy platform like BetterHelp. Online therapy has been proven as effective as in-person therapy. In addition, studies have shown that it is associated with significant decreases in anger and aggression.
With an online platform, you can talk to a therapist online and choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions. You can message your therapist in between sessions via live chat and receive resources like journaling prompts, webinars, and worksheets to cope with your anger outside of sessions.
Takeaway
What are 3 ways to manage anger?
What is the best way to get over anger?
How do you control your anger?
Anger is a normal and healthy feeling, but sometimes it can be expressed in unhealthy ways. Uncontrolled anger can have lasting consequences. When you feel angry, find ways to immediately calm yourself down. Count to 10, practice deep breathing exercises, or picture a relaxing scene. Don’t stop until the feelings subside.
In the long run, it’s important to find ways to control anger so that the emotion doesn’t have such an impact on you. Practice self-care so that your mind feels clear. This can include eating a balanced diet, sleeping well, exercising, and engaging in other enjoyable physical activities that give you a clear head. With time, you may be able to replace anger with more positive feelings.
How do you overcome anger issues?
What are the five steps to beat anger?
There are 5 steps you can take to help manage anger.
Step 1: Notice your anger.
Pay attention to how your body reacts when you sense your anger escalating whether you notice your heart rate increasing or your muscles tensing.
Step 2: Pause & remove yourself from the situation if possible.
Get physical space if you need to. Take a break from what is angering you.
Step 3: Don’t suppress your anger.
Find a healthy way to express anger, such as writing it down or talking to someone you trust.
Step 4: Manage your emotions.
Figure out what helps you calm yourself. Practice mindfulness, practice deep breathing, go for a walk, or reframe the situation in your mind using a different approach.
Step 5: Express your feelings constructively.
Resolve whatever was causing anger. Speak calmly to anyone involved in your anger and work toward a solution.
What are the five ways to deal with fear and anger?
There are a number of ways to deal with fear and anger.
- Try to reduce stress and avoid things that trigger your anger. For example, if you often get angry with your kids in the morning, create a before-school routine that eliminates the things you tend to yell about.
- Exercise. Physical movement helps release anger and fear so you can have a clearer mind.
- Stop ruminating. Dwelling on the situation can cause your anger and other negative feelings to hang around much longer than they should. Think about something else, like a fun home project or upcoming social plans.
- Express your anger in safe ways. If you need a physical outlet, try ripping up paper or yelling into a pillow.
- Seek professional help. If you feel like you constantly experience fear and anger, a mental health provider may be able to help you shift your mindset into more productive ways of thinking.
What is the first step in dealing with anger?
For many people, the first step in controlling anger is finding a way to calm down. If you notice your blood pressure rocket as you become increasingly frustrated, practice relaxation skills such as deep breathing exercises or visual imagery. Once anger is not in control, you can look at a situation with a clear mind and productively work through whatever is causing you to be angry.
How can forgiveness free us from anger?
When you forgive someone, you let go of the negative feelings such as anger that have been weighing on you.
How do you express your anger in words?
Using “I statements” is often a healthy way to express your angry feelings in words. Instead of accusing someone by saying “You always XYZ,” use statements like “I feel X when you do Y.”
How do you forgive yourself for being toxic?
The first step in forgiving yourself for being toxic is changing the behaviors you consider toxic. For example, if you’re often caught up in your own bitterness, look for ways you can view a situation through a more positive lens. Then, focus on moving forward instead of worrying about how you acted in the past.
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