Understanding And Managing Displaced Or Misplaced Anger

Medically reviewed by Majesty Purvis, LCMHC
Updated October 15, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Content Warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include abuse which could be triggering to the reader. If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7. Please also see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

Displaced or misplaced anger refers to anger that is misdirected away from the source. This misdirection, or displacement, often depends on the individual circumstances but is usually a defense mechanism we use (usually unconsciously) to reduce the potential ripple effect or amount of potential damage our anger may cause while still letting the emotion manifest.

Expressions of displaced anger can range from mild frustration to explosive, violent episodes. Although there may be other emotions involved in emotional displacement, one of the most common is anger.

Although there are mild, everyday causes of anger displacement, it can sometimes grow from more unpleasant and even traumatic events in an individual’s past, including major events like the death of a family, divorce, neglect, bullying, abuse, etc. Research in the field of child psychology has shown that children may be particularly susceptible to exhibiting displaced anger and negative mental health outcomes when exposed to an environment of abuse, trauma, or neglect.

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Learn to redirect anger in a healthy way

Externally displaced anger

Often, displaced anger is directed specifically at a “target” that is less risky or less likely to react threateningly. A common, everyday place where someone experiences anger could be in the workplace. If you feel angry at your boss, in most cases, you’ll avoid displacing anger toward them because there’s a real risk of losing your job.

Internally displaced anger

Just as displaced anger can be directed at external sources, those who have experienced trauma can direct it inwards as well. This can result in poor coping skills, as well as negative feelings of shame, guilt, self-loathing, and self-blame. People with inwardly misdirected anger may also engage in self-harm.* This behavior is often associated with serious mental health conditions or challenges, especially in children, including major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and more.

*If you or someone you love is experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts about self-harm, please know that help is available. You can contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 24/7 by dialing 988. You can also chat online with someone at the lifeline by visiting 988 Lifeline.org.

Managing displaced anger

Anger can be a challenging and negative emotion, but there are ways to manage anger and work toward keeping it from damaging ourselves and others.

Practice mindfulness 

Mindfulness methods like meditation, deep breathing, and progressive relaxation techniques can be effective anger management tools, each giving you different ways to put anger into perspective before, after, and in between outbursts. Mindfulness might help you reduce angry outbursts, learn to mitigate reactivity, and think before you speak or act out in anger.

Disengage for a moment

Displaced anger can be particularly troublesome during times of stress. If possible, you might consider taking time and removing yourself from a stressful situation before you direct your anger toward the wrong person. If you can’t take a time-out, you might try to connect with your breath for a few moments by taking three deep abdominal breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Take this time to center yourself and consider the root cause of your anger; for example, one common cause for misunderstandings is individual differences in communication. Identifying the cause of your anger can make disengaging easier, and you may be able to find a peaceful resolution.

Reach out 

Confiding in someone you trust can be an effective way to manage displaced anger, calm yourself and re-align your anger toward its appropriate source. A different perspective, particularly a kind one, can help. Some people don’t feel comfortable discussing anger with friends or loved ones, particularly if some of that anger is displaced internally or externally toward them.

In these cases, getting professional help from a mental health provider may be a more comfortable option. A licensed online therapist may be able to teach you how to repair relationships and communicate effectively with the people in your life who may be affected by your anger or a related mental illness. 

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Engage in a creative activity

Many therapists use creative expression in the form of art therapy to treat individuals with difficulty controlling their anger. With art therapy, you can release anger and channel it freely in a safe way through the creative medium of your choice. This not only provides an outlet to express your anger but also serves as a therapeutic tool to explore the anger through your work with a therapist.

Engage in physical activity 

Regardless of what kind of physical activity you choose, research shows that exercise can be an effective way to manage emotions and get anger under control. Exercise releases chemicals in the brain that control mood, promote calm, and make us feel good. Exercise can also provide a respite or diversion from stressful situations.

Talk to a counselor about displaced anger

While you can use the above coping strategies to help direct your anger appropriately, you might find that you make more progress with the guidance of a licensed therapist. Displaced anger can cause damage to a person’s life, relationships with friends or family, and mental health, but it can be addressed in numerous ways. There are several methods that therapists use to treat chronic anger and displaced anger. Some of the most common may include:

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
  • Art therapy 
  • Psychodynamic therapy
  • Family therapy
iStock/PeopleImages
Learn to redirect anger in a healthy way

If you’re experiencing displaced anger, know that you’re not alone and that help is available. If you don’t feel comfortable going to a therapist’s office to discuss your anger, you might consider online therapy, which numerous studies have demonstrated to be effective.

With the growth in popularity of online talk therapy, it’s easier than ever to get help from a therapist specializing in treating problems with anger. BetterHelp has a network of more than 25,000 licensed therapists, making it easier to find the right therapist, including one who has experience helping people explore aggressive behavior and displaced anger. 

With BetterHelp, you can connect with a therapist over the phone or video chat at a time that suits you. Also, in between sessions, you can reach out to them 24/7 via in-app messaging if you’re experiencing anger or other concerns, and they’ll respond as soon as they can.

"I’ve been seeing Malcolm Stanislaus for a short period of time. He has really made a good impact. I’m looking forward to this ongoing journey."
— BetterHelp member’s review of their therapist

Takeaway

Left unchecked, displaced aggression and anger can worsen, eventually causing difficulty with daily functioning. It may even lead you to treat someone you love like an “emotional punching bag”, which can put a large amount of strain on your relationship. However, you don’t have to face it alone. With BetterHelp, you can connect with a licensed therapist with knowledge and training in displaced anger and ways to address it effectively. Take the first step toward freedom from anger and reach out to BetterHelp.
Learn to separate anger from behavior
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