Early Signs Of Anger Issues And How To Manage Them

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated November 24, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
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Many adults may experience anger issues, which can spill over into their work and personal relationships. Frequent outbursts, irritability, and difficulty calming down may be some signs of anger issues. Recognizing patterns of anger may help pinpoint when it becomes more serious.

Support is available for anger issues, with various strategies and resources to regain control. Learning to manage anger can improve mental health and relationships. Read on for guidance on how to handle anger effectively.

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Do you find it hard to control angry outbursts?

Identifying anger issues

Spotting anger issues early can make them easier to manage. If you find yourself getting irritated a lot, behaving aggressively, or struggling to calm down, these could be warning signs of anger management issues. 

Frequent irritability

One sign of anger issues is typically being easily irritated often. This might also mean feeling annoyed or frustrated over small things. For example, snapping at friends or family for minor reasons may be a signal. This constant irritability can strain relationships and make daily interactions challenging. Over time, this behavior may become a habit, potentially damaging both personal and work relationships. 

Aggressive behavior

Aggressive behavior can be another sign of anger issues. Aggressive behaviors may include yelling, hitting, or breaking objects. Such actions may lead to serious consequences, including harming relationships and facing legal problems. This type of behavior can also affect how a person sees themselves, as they might experience regret or guilt afterward. Often, people don't even realize they're being aggressive until someone else mentions it.

Difficulty calming down

People with trouble managing their anger often find it hard to calm down after getting upset. This can lead to staying angry long after the original issue is over. As a result, small annoyances can quickly turn into major angry outbursts. Being upset for prolonged periods may affect your mental health and also affect the people around you. When you can't calm down, it can cause stress that builds up over time. This stress tends to affect not only your mind but also your physical health through headaches or even high blood pressure.

A sense of overwhelm

Overwhelming emotions can be common among those with anger issues. Everyday tasks might seem unmanageable, leading to frustration and outbursts. This sense of overwhelm often comes from taking on too much or expecting too much from oneself. When someone always feels this way, it can lead to burnout. They might start to ignore their own needs, which can make things worse.

Resentment

Resentment can be a quiet but powerful hint that someone might have anger problems. It often means holding on to bitter feelings and anger toward others. As time goes by, these feelings can get stronger and cause someone to act passive-aggressively. Resentment usually starts when a person feels wronged or unappreciated. It can build a wall in relationships, making it hard to talk openly and honestly.

Blaming others

Blaming others for personal problems can be a common reaction in people with anger issues. This behavior often helps them avoid taking responsibility and stops them from looking at their own actions. When someone keeps blaming others, it can harm their relationships and create a negative cycle. This habit of blaming might be a way to avoid facing their problems, but it may lead to more tension and conflict.

These are just a few signs of anger management issues, and people may not show them in the same way. Some signs might be harder to notice, so it may help to stay aware and ask for help if you think you need it.

What causes intermittent explosive disorder?

Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) typically involves sudden outbursts of anger and aggression that seem out of proportion to the situation. These episodes can include verbal outbursts, physical aggression, or the destruction of property. A person with this disorder often experiences a sense of relief afterward but may also show remorse or embarrassment later on.

The causes of IED may include the following:

  • Family history: If someone in your family has IED or other mental health conditions, you might be at a higher risk.
  • Brain differences: Some people with IED may have unusual patterns in the parts of the brain that help control emotions and provide self-control.
  • Chemical imbalances: Chemicals in the brain, like serotonin, might be off-balance, making it harder to control impulses.
  • Early life experiences: Growing up in a violent or abusive environment may make a person more likely to develop IED.
  • Other mental health challenges: Having other mental health problems or substance use challenges can increase the chances of having IED.

Therapy for intermittent explosive disorder

Therapy may help manage and reduce the symptoms of IED or anger issues in general. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is commonly used, as it may help people recognize and change negative thought patterns that lead to aggressive behavior.

During CBT sessions, individuals may learn to:

  • Identify triggers: Understand what situations or feelings set off their anger.
  • Develop coping skills: Find healthy ways to manage frustration.
  • Improve communication skills: Express emotions in a non-aggressive way.
  • Practice relaxation techniques: Use methods such as deep breathing to calm down.

Medications may also be part of the treatment plan. Antidepressants, beta blockers, or mood stabilizers might be prescribed to help control mood swings and aggression. A doctor can discuss the best options based on a person’s needs. Never start, stop or change the way you take any medications without consulting with your doctor. 

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Self-help techniques for managing anger

Although it’s common to feel angry, knowing how to handle it can lead to improved relationships and greater well-being. Here are some potential ways to manage anger:

  • Breathing exercises: Taking slow, deep breaths may help reduce anger. You might try inhaling through the nose for four counts, holding your breath for four, and exhaling through the mouth for four. 
  • Exercise: Physical activity like walking or biking may help release pent-up energy and reduce anxiety.
  • Reframing thoughts: Changing negative thoughts into positive ones may help manage anger. Instead of thinking, "This is so unfair," you might try, "I can handle this."
  • Progressive muscle relaxation: This technique typically involves tensing and then relaxing various muscle groups in your body. This may help you become more aware of tension in your body and other physical symptoms.
  • Journaling: Writing down your feelings may help you process them. You can reflect on what recently triggered your anger and how you can manage it better next time.
  • Time-out: Taking a break from a heated situation may allow you to cool down before reacting. You might step outside or find a quiet place to collect your thoughts.
  • Assertiveness training: Being assertive without being aggressive may help you express your needs clearly. You can learn to say things like "I feel upset when..." instead of bottling up emotions and showing passive-aggressive behavior (passive anger). 

Incorporating these techniques may help manage anger more effectively. You can explore various strategies to find what works best for you. 

The impact of anger on physical and mental health

When people experience anger, it often shows up physically. You might notice an increased heart rate, tense muscles, and a flushed face. These symptoms might even lead to headaches and stomach issues. If anger is frequent, long-term health problems like high blood pressure and heart disease may arise.

Anger may also take a toll on mental health. Constantly feeling angry may contribute to  like depression and anxiety. People may sometimes experience frustration and a sense of being treated unfairly, which can make them isolate themselves from others.

Anger can develop in two ways: inward anger and outward anger. Inward anger typically involves holding in feelings of anger, which can lead to self-blame, low self-esteem, and depression. Outward anger, on the other hand, typically involves expressing anger through aggressive behavior, yelling, or even physical violence.

How to repair relationships affected by anger

Anger can be a powerful and destructive emotion, often leading to strained relationships. Anger can build walls between friends, family members, or partners, making it hard to trust and understand one another. However, it's possible to fix these relationships. The following are a few tips that may help:

  • Communicate: Effective communication may help repair relationships strained by anger. Partners can practice active listening, showing they understand and value each other's feelings. Instead of resorting to the silent treatment, they can express their emotions clearly but kindly.
  • Take responsibility: Everyone makes mistakes, but owning up to them can be important to building and maintaining trust. When someone acts out of anger and ends up hurting others, it’s typically important to apologize and try to make things right. By acknowledging the hurt caused, they can start to rebuild relationships.
  • Find common ground: Agreeing on common goals may help partners move forward. They can work together to identify what went wrong and how to avoid similar conflicts. 
  • Set boundaries: Discussing and agreeing on acceptable behavior may help prevent future conflicts. Doing so may show mutual respect and commitment to improving the relationship.

Sometimes, people don’t realize they need help until after they’ve hurt someone they love. Professional support, like therapy or counseling, can offer guidance to heal and strengthen our relationships.

Finding professional help with anger management

You may want to seek professional help for anger management, as it may be helpful to learn how to control anger and express it in healthier ways. There are several options to explore, including licensed therapists, support groups, and mental health organizations.

Therapists and counselors

Licensed therapists and counselors may be able to help individuals manage their anger. Mental health professionals can often help identify anger triggers and teach ways to cope with difficult emotions. Therapists often use techniques like CBT to change thought patterns that contribute to anger. They may also provide a safe space for expressing feelings and finding constructive ways to manage anger.

Anger management support groups

Support groups allow individuals to discuss their experiences and explore strategies for managing anger. Support groups often meet weekly or monthly and are usually led by professionals who know a lot about anger management. Many online forums offer similar benefits if meeting in person isn't convenient.

Mental health organizations

Mental health organizations may provide resources for anger management. Organizations like the American Psychological Association and the National Alliance on Mental Illiness may offer various articles and tools to assist those in need of support with anger. Checking the resources provided by these organizations may be a starting point for anyone looking to manage anger.

Online therapy for anger and other mental health challenges

Online therapy may be a convenient way to manage anger and a variety of other mental health challenges. Traditional therapy often requires traveling to an office, which can be hard if you don't have a car, live far away, or have a busy schedule. With online therapy platforms, you can have your sessions right from home, which may make it easier to get the help you need. 

Another benefit of online therapy is its flexibility. Regular therapy sessions may happen during work or school hours, which can be inconvenient. Online therapy often offers more flexible times, including evenings and weekends.

A man sitting at his kitchen table while holding a coffee is attending an online call.
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Do you find it hard to control angry outbursts?

Is online therapy effective for anger issues and mental health problems?

Therapy through online platforms has been found to be effective for managing anger problems. One study looked at how three different online therapy methods helped people manage their anger. It found that combining mindful emotion awareness (MEA) and cognitive reappraisal (CR) was the most effective, reducing anger expression and aggression by over 40% for those with high initial anger levels. Overall, 88% of participants completed the study, showing good engagement with the treatments.

Takeaway

Early signs of anger problems may include getting irritated often, acting aggressively, and having trouble calming down. If these behaviors are left untreated, they can harm relationships and affect both mental and physical health. Strategies like practicing deep breathing, changing your thoughts, and getting help from therapy or support groups may help control anger. Whether through self-help methods or online therapy, support is available to guide people toward healthier ways of expressing and managing their anger. Take the first step toward getting support with anger and contact BetterHelp.
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