How To Manage Your Anger: Nine Actionable Tips

Anger is a normal emotion — one that may motivate us to work harder, guard ourselves, and even become more creative. 

When anger isn’t managed or expressed in a constructive way, though, it can negatively affect our lives. Excessive anger can impact your relationships, mental and physical health, and productivity. 

About anger issues

According to APA.org, “anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.”

The APA notes that anger can be a good thing. It can provide ways to express feelings or motivate you to find solutions to problems that you’re angry about. 

However, anger can also cause problems when it isn’t controlled, potentially leading to aggressive behavior and making it difficult for someone to stay calm. 

Ways to reduce anger

If you’re concerned about these effects cropping up in your life, there are several scientifically proven techniques you can employ to help you find healthy outlets for your emotions, possibly helping you to reduce anger levels in the moment. 

Below, we’re covering nine of these possibly helpful strategies to help you control anger before it controls your life. 

1. Practicing meditation

Meditation is defined by many as an exercise that can help to focus your attention and shift your perspective. Generally centered around eliminating distractions, meditation can provide you with the opportunity to quiet your mind, relax and let angry feelings pass. This can help you to leave negative emotions in the past and move forward with a fresh perspective. 

Part of meditation for many involves acknowledging the emotions you’re feeling without judgment. This can be helpful in keeping you from allowing anger to dictate your thoughts and behaviors. 

There are many different meditation or mindfulness exercises out there to help you get started. You can usually find guided meditations through podcasts, apps, books or online videos. Then, you can employ the techniques in a quiet space in your home—or another quiet place you can be alone. 

For example, you might look for progressive muscle relaxation techniques and deep breathing patterns. Once you’ve practiced these from home multiple times, you may be able to use them in the moment when you begin to feel your anger becoming hard to control. 

2. Identifying the possible sources of anger

Understanding the roots of your anger can be crucial to managing it. There are many different reasons why anger can become a concern. Stress, depression and other mental health-related concerns can cause persistent anger, as can physical health challenges. There are also numerous situational factors that may contribute to or exacerbate anger, such as work, relationship conflicts and financial duress. 

3. Exercising regularly

Physical activity can be a healthy outlet for anger, possibly allowing you to reduce stress and tension while also providing you with a distraction. Exercise in general can promote the release of mood-boosting endorphins in the body, which can help you feel less upset and give you a positive outlook.

 Studies have found details that suggest that there is a clear correlation between exercise and lower levels of stress and nervousness, which can be primary sources of anger for many. 

If you feel like your anger is building up, you may consider going for a walk, doing yoga or going to the gym. To ensure consistency, it can help to exercise with other people. If you enjoy running, for instance, you could join a local running group so you have a set appointment to look forward to each week.

4. Joining an anger management group

Anger management groups can forms of support for people experiencing persistent anger who are looking for guidance and a sense of community. Members of such support groups can learn from people who are going through similar situations and may have advice on finding outlets for anger or strategies that have worked for them in the past. 

Often, knowing that you aren’t alone with your anger challenges can help you cope well with your emotions. Support groups can also give you the motivation that you need to continue working towards positive change.

5. Journal

Journaling helps provide an outlet for your emotions, allowing you to vent instead of repressing your feelings or letting them out in potentially maladaptive ways. 

Additionally, research shows that journaling can help improve symptoms of mental health conditions that may exacerbate anger, such as you might see in someone who lives with an anxiety disorder. 

Your journal can also provide you with a record of situations that tend to cause anger in your life. Going back through your entries, you may notice that similar events or interactions provoke anger consistently. You can then prepare for those scenarios or even avoid them altogether via targeted and strategic lifestyle changes. 

6. Learning to forgive

Resentment can be one way we harbor anger instead of expressing it in a healthy way. 

For example: You might have a hurtful situation in your past that you haven’t been able to deal with yet that continues to upset you. While forgiveness can be hard at times, it can help you process your emotions (including anger) and move forward. 

If you find that negative feelings toward someone in your life are prompting anger, you may consider having a talk with them. This can give you the chance to work through lingering conflict and let go of resentment.

7. (Quit) sweating the small stuff

This may seem like common sense, but it can be hard to put into practice. Little things may tend to snowball when we fail to let them go. 

To avoid getting caught up in the many possible annoyances, you may choose to take the “long view” of things. For example: Getting cut off in traffic can be reframed to you believing that this pause is a part of getting to where you need to be. Many might find that focusing on the big picture in whatever context you’re in can help you let things go and develop a positive mindset.   

8. Taking a “moment”

Sometimes we simply need to step away from the situation when we’re angry. You've probably heard of the strategy of counting to ten to let anger pass. While it isn’t always possible, removing yourself from the source of tension or conflict can reduce your anger levels. 

For example, if you and your partner are arguing and you can feel yourself becoming angry, consider asking them if you can each take ten minutes alone so that you can regroup and calm down. A well-timed break is considered by many to be a proven method that can help with cognitive function and emotional control. 

9. Talking to a therapist (and how you can benefit)

While self-help anger management techniques can be beneficial, sometimes you need the extra support of a professional. If you feel like anger is impacting your life in a negative way, you may consider reaching out to a therapist. A mental health professional can empathize with you, give you advice and provide you with a different perspective on situations that may be provoking anger. 

Therapy can also help you learn how to identify your triggers so you can know how to either avoid or cope with them. 

Therapy is regarded by many as a safe space for you to let your feelings out so that they aren’t being repressed and expressed in potentially problematic ways. Through techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a mental health professional can help you understand how your thoughts, emotions and behaviors are connected. Additionally, your therapist can help you develop anger management techniques that are tailored to your personality and life circumstances.

Managing anger with online therapy: Is it effective?

Studies show that online therapy can be an effective way of helping individuals control their anger. For example, the results of a trial on the efficacy of online therapy for anger management suggested that treatment can foster healthy anger expression in participants while also reducing aggression and ruminative thoughts. Mindfulness, one of the techniques discussed above, was considered by researchers to be one of the most effective strategies utilized in the study.