How To Cope With Anger And Develop Anger Management Skills
Anger can be a healthy and productive emotion, but excessive or persistent anger can lead to serious mental and physical health concerns, such as declining personal relationships and high blood pressure. Because anger can be a largely unavoidable component of daily life, you may benefit from learning effective means of managing anger so that everyday events, such as running into a traffic jam, don’t derail your emotional well-being.
Signs you may have anger issues
The signs of anger management problems may vary in individuals. However, the following are some potential signs that anger may be problematic:
Your angry feelings often seem out of your control
If you frequently find yourself reacting to situations with disproportionate levels of anger, this could be a sign that you are developing problematic anger patterns. Another indication can be feeling shame or embarrassment after an angry outburst.
Your anger is damaging your personal relationships
If expressing your anger is leading to hurt feelings or scaring your loved ones, your anger might be progressing to the point where it could be considered a problem. Everyone tends to experience an occasional angry moment when they might say or do something they regret, but if this situation is happening often, it could be an indication of a larger issue. Research has indicated that strong personal relationships can have a range of health benefits, while loneliness can directly cause serious health problems that can shorten a person’s lifespan, so seeking support for unhealthy anger may improve your relationships and your overall health.
You have a mental health condition that is associated with anger issues
Some mental health conditions may have a greater likelihood of manifesting in an inability to express anger in a healthy way. For example, anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder can result in increased irritability and a tendency to snap. Also, the heightened arousal and emotions often associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may lead to more frequent angry outbursts. Further, personality disorders like borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder can lead to symptoms of angry behavior. If you are concerned you may have any of these conditions, you might benefit from talking to a therapist.
Anger management strategies for addressing intense emotions
If you are experiencing intense emotions, there are several strategies that may help you manage your anger. The following are just a few:
Practicing mindfulness
When you feel angry, you may be intensely focused on the situation provoking your angry feelings. One way to control anger can be to reorient your focus on the present moment through mindfulness. When you feel anger escalating, you might try to ground yourself in the present through relaxation techniques like deep breathing. You can also conduct a body scan to see if you can identify how the anger is impacting your physiological state.
Keeping an emotions journal
Anger and other intense emotions may sometimes seem as if they come out of nowhere, but they are often triggered by specific interactions and situations. Recognizing these patterns may be easier if you start keeping an emotions journal. Documenting your emotional state throughout the day may help you to identify which conversations and people may put you in a frustrated mood, which may be beneficial when attempting to more effectively control your anger.
Engaging in regular exercise and physical activity
Research suggests that regular exercise can help to reduce stress and anger levels. You can combine exercise with the mindfulness techniques described above through practices like yoga or tai chi, or you can simply incorporate a walk around your neighborhood into your daily routine. The precise type of exercise may not matter as much as consistently getting your body moving.
Mental health support for coping with angry feelings
If anger management techniques are not reducing the frequency or intensity of your anger, you may want to seek professional help. A therapist may be able to help you explore the root causes of your anger and incorporate strategies to keep anger from controlling you.
Online therapy for anger management with a mental health counselor
People with anger management concerns may feel embarrassment about their inability to control their anger, or they may avoid interactions with other people in an attempt to ward off potential angry outbursts. Both of these situations could result in a person being less inclined to pursue therapy in person. In these scenarios, online therapy may be a more feasible option. With online therapy, individuals can speak to their therapist via phone call, video chat, or live chat, which may help to take some of the pressure off the interaction.
Research has indicated that online therapy can be effective at addressing a number of different mental health concerns, including anger issues. One study examined the role of online therapeutic interventions in reducing anger symptoms and found that people who attended online therapy reported a decrease in maladaptive anger.
Takeaway
Getting your anger under control can seem difficult, but there are a variety of effective anger management strategies you can try, such as mindfulness, journaling, and deep breathing exercises. If you are finding it challenging to manage your anger on your own, you might consider speaking to a therapist, whether in person or online. A therapist may be able to help you understand where your anger is coming from and help you develop techniques to de-escalate your anger in the future. Take the first step toward learning to cope with anger and reach out to BetterHelp today.
Frequently asked questions
Below are some frequently asked questions about how to cope with anger.
Why do I get angry so easily?
There may be a number of reasons why some people respond with anger more easily than others. Heightened stress in certain areas of your life can be contributing to disproportionate angry reactions, especially if you have a history of experiencing stress and trauma. Additionally, if you were raised in a home where anger was regularly role modeled as an appropriate emotional response, you may also be more likely to default to anger when you are agitated.
What emotion is behind anger?
Some researchers describe anger as a secondary emotion, meaning not that it is less important than other emotions but that it can often be a response to another emotion, like sadness or fear. For example, if you are angry at your child for not looking both ways before they cross the street, that anger could mask the fear you feel at the thought of your child potentially being hit by a car.
Does anger get worse with age?
Research indicates that intermittent explosive disorder, which is characterized by explosive outbursts, is more common among adolescents than among adults. However, that does not mean that individuals may not become more prone to anger as they grow older. Increasing medical and physical health issues can cause frustration as a person ages, which may spill over into other aspects of their lives.
How can I stop being so angry?
It can be challenging to stop being angry altogether. Not all anger is necessarily bad. According to the American Psychological Association, anger can be a healthy emotion that everyone experiences when they are treated unfairly. However, if anger becomes intense or frequent, it can lead to internal distress and/or emotional outbursts. To stop this tendency, it may help to explore ways to reduce anger with a support group or a therapist, in addition implementing self-care strategies.
How do you cope with anger skills?
Anger management skills may help you learn to stay calm during moments of conflict. For example, you might implement strategies like deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation. With box breathing, you can breathe deeply inward for a few seconds, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then release your breath. Progressive muscle relaxation typically entails tightening and then relaxing various muscles one by one, which may help to reduce tension. Another strategy that may help quell anger is visualization. With this exercise, you can imagine a relaxing scene, such as a serene forest or a quiet place in nature. Doing this exercise for several minutes may help to reduce anger when you notice warning signs of anger during frustrating situations.
It may also help to practice assertive communication skills for moments when you must communicate with someone who is angry. This may help you avoid sarcasm or other types of communication that can be tempting to use when someone is rude.
Can anger issues be cured?
Anger issues can be treated with the help of a mental health professional. According to the American Psychological Association, research suggests that 75% of people who received anger management therapy experienced improvement. Therapists may use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help people recognize negative thoughts that may be contributing to anger. This may help to prevent chronic anger, which can have serious health consequences, including a greater risk of heart disease.
What emotion is behind anger?
Some theorists consider anger to be a primary emotion, which means that it may be universal across cultures. Anger can arise in relation to various other emotions, including rejection, fear, or shame. Understanding anger and its possible causes may help you process it and avoid outbursts.
How do you calm down anger?
Calming down anger during a moment of high tension can be challenging for anyone, not just for people who recognize that they experience anger problems. If at all possible, it may be best to get some distance from the situation by taking a brisk walk, spending some time doing mindfulness meditation, or simply spending some quiet time alone. This may help prevent an aggressive outburst, during which some people may be tempted to throw things or shout at others.
These strategies may help you feel calmer in the moment, but it may be even more helpful to practice them on a daily basis outside of tense moments. For example, short daily meditation sessions and breathing exercises may help you prepare for moments of tension or conflict before they arise.
Are anger issues a mental illness?
Anger issues themselves are not a recognized mental illness in the field of psychology. However, anger can be a feature of several mental illnesses, including intermittent explosive disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and oppositional defiant disorder.
How do you release suppressed anger?
Suppressed anger can be difficult to recognize at times. Some people may experience trauma from past experiences without knowing it. Traumatic events affect people in difference ways, and sometimes sadness can be mixed with anger. Even for those who know they have suppressed anger, it can be challenging to release it. A mental health professional may be able to help people process suppressed anger so that they can begin expressing anger and other emotions in a healthy way.
Why do I get so angry over little things?
A tendency to get angry over little things could be a sign of built-up stress. In some cases, it could also be a sign of a mental health condition, such as depression or substance abuse disorder (formerly called substance abuse), but only a licensed mental health professional can diagnose these disorders. Whatever the cause is, there are ways to reduce anger and prevent annoyance over little things from turning into uncontrolled anger.
How do you let go of anger and hurt?
Letting go of anger and hurt may take time and patience. Research shows that therapists can help with anger, often through CBT, family therapy, or psychodynamic theory. A therapist may be able to help with anger specifically caused by being hurt or rejected.
Letting go may also be easier with a robust set of self-care strategies, such as self-compassion and mindfulness meditation. Also, in some cases, letting go may entail talking to the person who has hurt you, but it may be best to prepare for this conversation with the help of a family member or therapist.
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