How To Deal With Angry People In The Workplace

You might notice that a particular person you work with is often angry, unpredictable, or aggressive. Depending on the day, their attitude might be directed at the boss, a coworker, or a customer of the business. You are not alone if you know someone like this at your workplace. Although it might feel tempting to try to switch jobs, you might love your job or feel that other aspects of work are positive, so learning to cope healthily, set boundaries, and move forward may be more beneficial.

Ways to cope with another person's anger and behaviors at work 

Although other people's actions don't reflect on you as a person, a hostile work environment might negatively impact your mood, focus, and performance. Some studies show that a hostile work environment can cause physical illness. To mitigate the potential impacts on your mental and physical health, consider taking the following actions to cope with a coworker or manager's anger at work.  

Consider all perspectives 

If you have not yet tried it, consider changing your perspective about the situation. You might have heard the phrase, "Hurt people hurt people." This phrase describes how anger-motivated behaviors and aggression might be caused by emotional pain or challenging life circumstances. Although understanding someone's circumstances doesn't excuse their behavior, it could help you feel more emotionally sound at work. 

You might consider whether the individual might be struggling in a relationship, recently lost a loved one, or is living with a mental illness. It can also be beneficial to recognize that depression often involves anger or irritability as a symptom. What comes off as anger could be a symptom of a more profound concern. 

Stay calm

When you respond with anger to someone feeling angry, both of you might feel angrier. Try to keep your reaction to this individual regulated and calm. If you can't do so, setting a boundary or removing yourself from the situation might be more effective. If you don't have to respond, consider staying quiet or only interacting with the individual as much as necessary to complete your work. 

Repeat what they're saying to see if you understand 

Sometimes people feel angry because they don't feel they are being heard. For example, a coworker might feel angry if a customer disregards their expertise and goes around them to management. Try to repeat what someone reports to you back to them to show you are trying to understand. 

For example, if someone says, "I'm angry at this customer," you could respond, "I can see you're angry about how that customer treated you." Repeating their emotions back to them could make them feel more validated in their experience, even if you're not directly telling them their anger makes sense.

Don't gossip about the situation

When you see someone having angry outbursts at work, it can be tempting to talk about it with another coworker, laugh at the person, or spread rumors about the individual. However, workplace gossip can create an unhealthy workplace environment. In addition, gossip may return to the person it's about, which could cause them to form a grudge against you or feel hurt and bullied at work. If their anger occurs due to an understandable concern or mental illness, they might feel that others in the workplace discriminate against them for these concerns. 

Take responsibility for your actions

In some cases, someone else's anger at work might be due to your indirect or direct actions. If you have made a mistake or mistreated someone, acknowledge your actions, take responsibility, and apologize. While apologizing might not improve the situation, it could be better than acting defensively or ignoring the impact you had on someone else.  

Set boundaries 

If you struggle with confrontation, those acting out of anger might pick up on it and try to involve you in their emotional response. They might try to turn you against another person or blame you for their actions. 

When this occurs, try to set boundaries. Boundaries at work can be complex because you might be involved in a power dynamic, but there are a few ways you can respond, including the following:

• "Please don't yell at me."
• "I am going back to work now." 
• "I'm not comfortable with this conversation." 
• "Can you send me a formal email or written request with this information?" 
• "I'd like to continue with my job now."
• "I feel unsafe right now and need to return to work." 
• "Let's talk when you're feeling better." 

Note that anger is a healthy emotion and may not be unhealthy. However, if the person is acting and behaving in a way that makes you feel like they could be dangerous, address the situation and set boundaries to keep yourself safe. If you're experiencing workplace abuse, contact your company's HR department or anonymous reporting line. 

Know when to walk away

At times, it might be best to walk away from a situation or conversation. If you're arguing with an angry coworker, tell them you must take a few minutes before returning to readdress the situation. 

If the angry individual is your boss, let them know you feel unsafe or uncomfortable with how they treat you. If they fire you out of retaliation for walking away from an abusive or uncomfortable interaction, you might be able to report them to HR. Your health, well-being, and safety are critical in these situations. 

Talk to HR or report the incident 

At times, workplace anger is temporary or a mild inconvenience. However, if you are experiencing constant angry outbursts, abusive actions, or scary situations with anyone in your workplace, consider talking to your human resource department. Some behaviors may go against the employee code of conduct. You can also report the individual to your manager if you feel safe doing so.

Talk to a therapist

In some cases, an angry employee or boss might cause you to feel anxious or stressed about going to work. In addition, if you've experienced workplace abuse, bullying, or gossip, you might want to process these events with a compassionate professional. If you are worried about being discreet or don't have time to attend in-person sessions, you can also try online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp. 

A therapist can help you identify coping strategies when you must interact with an individual who has harmed you. You may also review the pros and cons of staying in your business or finding a new job. In some cases, your therapist might help you develop a plan to leave your job safely while still ensuring you have income. An online therapist can meet you where you're at, allowing you to attend sessions from your car, home, or office, as long as you have an internet connection. 

A recent study looking at internet-based therapy for those who were bullied found that online therapy could be as effective as in-person therapy for reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress resulting from being the survivor of bullying. Bullying can occur in the workplace and is not only reserved for children. If you've experienced workplace bullying due to a coworker or boss's anger, you're not alone; online therapy could benefit you.