How To Get Rid Of Anger: What To Do When You Sense Anger Escalating
Angry feelings can be a natural and expected part of life. While you may not enjoy the experience of anger, it can serve as a healthy emotion that may send a signal regarding potential mistreatment or a need for change. Sometimes, though, you may find it difficult to manage your anger, and uncontrolled anger can worsen conflict and prevent you from reaching a productive solution. Learning techniques for managing your anger, such as mindfulness practices and taking a break from the situation, could help you calm yourself during angry moments. For additional support, reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your local area or through an online therapy platform.
Ways to manage angry feelings
Strategies like engaging in mindfulness, taking a break from the situation, and working with a therapist may help you manage your anger.
Give yourself a “time out” to process angry feelings
Anger can sometimes lead you to jump to conclusions or engage in actions you may later regret. Taking a moment to pause when you realize you are becoming angry can help with anger management. You may want to picture a relaxing scene, like a forest clearing or a spot on the beach, to defuse your anger. You can also intentionally remove yourself from an escalating situation by saying something along the lines of, “I need some quiet time to myself to think about this. Can we talk about it again later?”
Use mindfulness strategies for anger management
Sometimes, when you experience anger, you may sense you are a little disconnected from yourself. You may make problematic statements or behave in a way that conflicts with your core values and sense of self. Even if you successfully address the situation that made you angry, you may feel worse afterward due to the guilt and shame associated with your actions.
Mindfulness can be one method of staying connected to yourself during angry moments. Mindfulness is often described as the practice of grounding yourself in the present moment and checking in with your body. Some mindfulness strategies, like deep breathing, can also serve as relaxation techniques that may physically lessen your body’s anger response and reduce overall stress.
Mental health conditions that can involve anger
Uncontrolled anger may sometimes indicate the presence of a mental health concern. There are several mental illnesses that can involve anger problems as a symptom.
Intermittent explosive disorder
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental health condition typically characterized by frequent and seemingly uncontrollable angry outbursts that are usually disproportionate to the situation at hand. People with IED may demonstrate aggression and sometimes even violent behavior during these outbursts. Although people with IED often feel embarrassed and ashamed of themselves after an outburst, they typically sense they are unable to control their anger and prevent future incidents.
Mood disorders
Anger can sometimes be thought of purely in terms of rage, but milder emotions like frustration and irritation can also fall under the umbrella of anger. Many mood disorders, including depression and bipolar disorder, can heighten a person’s level of irritability and decrease their tolerance for frustration. For bipolar disorder in particular, irritability can be a noticeable symptom in both manic and depressive states.
Other mental health conditions
Several other mental health conditions can result in increased susceptibility to anger. Substance use disorders, particularly alcohol and stimulant use disorders, can be linked to anger concerns. The heightened arousal associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may lead to angry outbursts in certain situations, too.
Anxiety disorders can contribute to irritability and anger for some people as well. In addition, several personality disorders, including borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder, can be associated with anger problems.
Mental health support for anger management
If you suspect your anger issues may be linked to a mental health condition, connecting with a licensed mental health professional could be beneficial. However, you do not need to have a diagnosable mental disorder to benefit from talking to a therapist.
Therapists can help you develop an anger management plan and more effectively understand and control your anger. They can identify situations that tend to trigger an anger response and work with you to employ effective strategies to keep your anger in check.
Online therapy to help you manage your anger
People who struggle to manage their anger may feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed about their challenges and past behaviors. This shame can sometimes prevent them from authentically engaging with a therapist. In these situations, online therapy may be a beneficial alternative to traditional in-person therapy. With online therapy, you can choose to connect with a therapist via video chat, phone call, or online chat, depending on your preferences and comfort level.
Research suggests that online therapy can effectively address a wide range of mental health concerns, including anger issues. One study examined the effects of an online therapeutic intervention on a group of people reporting problematic anger and found that completing a course of online therapy usually reduced anger symptoms.
Takeaway
While anger can be a natural part of life, it may sometimes be necessary to take control of your anger and prevent it from escalating. Anger management techniques, like practicing mindfulness and taking a quick break from the situation, can be beneficial. Speaking to a therapist online or in person about your difficulties with controlling anger may also help you reduce angry outbursts.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to stop getting so angry?
Anger is a basic emotion that is part of the human experience. However, anger can cause problems when one has difficulty managing this powerful emotion. Since anger can indicate underlying concerns, it may be helpful to identify what is causing you to get upset regularly. For example, experiencing stress, anxiety, and having an underlying physical or mental health condition can often make a person more prone to get angry. When experiencing anger, avoid saying the first thing that comes to your head. Instead, it can be beneficial to breathe deeply, step away from the room, go for a brisk walk, and resume the conversation when you feel calmer and better able to listen and respond. Aiming to be more rational can also help defuse angry feelings.
How to process the feeling of anger?
One may begin to process anger by acknowledging the emotion, monitoring its warning signs, and aiming to listen to what anger is trying to tell you. For instance, other emotions could be behind anger, such as a sense of vulnerability, fear, or hurt. Moreover, research suggests that naming an emotion can help regulate negative emotions, allowing more control over them. By acknowledging your own anger, you may be able to better process the emotion as it moves and shifts through your body and mind.
Why do I get so angry over little things?
Anger can be caused by both internal and external factors. Experiencing stress and anxiety, for example, can make it more challenging to control anger, priming you to respond to perceived threats in aggressive or inappropriate ways. Past experiences of trauma and underlying concerns, such as depression, can also make a person more likely to experience anger regularly.
How to be less sensitive to anger?
Findings suggest that our emotions influence our perception of risk, making us more prone to view a situation as threatening when we experience anger and uncomfortable emotions. In many cases, anger also protects us from experiencing emotions such as fear, powerlessness, and hurt. If you regularly feel angry, it may be helpful to practice mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and journaling—all helpful tools for processing challenging emotions. Moreover, when encountering an action you believe is wrong, for instance, it can be helpful to speak up in a direct, respectful way.
How do you get rid of anger?
Anger is a common human emotion and physiological response to a perceived threat. You can learn to manage uncontrolled or suppressed anger and find ways to channel it in constructive ways. There are also techniques for defusing the emotional state of anger, such as practicing mindfulness, exercising regularly, journaling, and engaging in creative work. Often, the intensity of angry feelings can also be lowered by addressing underlying concerns, such as stress and anxiety, and learning coping skills to reduce stress and manage challenging emotions.
Why do I become angry easily?
There are many reasons why a person may be easily angered. Factors such as genetic predisposition, stress, unresolved trauma, and growing up in a family that struggled with communicating emotional needs may influence one’s relationship to anger. Anger can also be a symptom of a physical or mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or intermittent explosive disorder, which can cause a person to sometimes experience blind rage.
What emotion is behind anger?
Often, anger protects us from experiencing emotions that might make us feel vulnerable or powerless in our lives. For example, a person may feel hurt, embarrassed, or experience fear but express these feelings through anger, which may momentarily allow one to feel more in control.
Can anger go away?
Uncontrolled or poorly managed anger can be controlled. However, suppressing anger can be detrimental. For example, suppressed anger can make a person more prone to irritation and expressing passive-aggressive behavior. Suppressing one’s anger can also contribute to depression and other conditions. There are many helpful tools for learning to manage anger, including practicing mindful awareness of emotional states. Addressing underlying conditions, such as depression or unresolved trauma, can also help a person better manage anger.
How to let go of hate?
Letting go of hatred, grudges, and bitterness involves acknowledging your feelings without judgment, allowing you to become more aware of your emotional states and their effects on your body and mind. Awareness can be cultivated through regular mindfulness practice. Intending to forgive the person or group who has seemingly wronged you by acknowledging their humanity and cultivating empathy and compassion can also promote more balanced perspectives in the long run. It’s also helpful to avoid rumination, and “all-or-nothing” thinking and words that can further fuel hatred and obsessive thinking.
What is the root of anger?
Anger is an emotional response to a perceived threat, which can be physical, emotional, financial, or existential. When a person experiences tension, anxiety, sadness, and hurt and is not able to channel or improve the situation that evoked these feelings, anger may also arise as a response to a sense of powerlessness. Anger can also stem from experiencing trauma, discrimination, oppression, and other forms of abuse. In children and many adults, the energy of anger often allows one to feel more powerful than experiencing sadness or loss, for example.
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