How To Get Rid Of Anger: What To Do When You Sense Anger Escalating

Updated November 13, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Angry feelings can be a natural and expected part of life. While you may not enjoy the experience of anger, it can serve as a healthy emotion that may send a signal regarding potential mistreatment or a need for change. Sometimes, though, you may find it difficult to manage your anger, and uncontrolled anger can worsen conflict and prevent you from reaching a productive solution. Learning techniques for managing your anger, such as mindfulness practices and taking a break from the situation, could help you calm yourself during angry moments. For additional support, reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your local area or through an online therapy platform. 

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Is frequent anger negatively impacting your life?

Ways to manage angry feelings

Strategies like engaging in mindfulness, taking a break from the situation, and working with a therapist may help you manage your anger.

Give yourself a “time out” to process angry feelings

Anger can sometimes lead you to jump to conclusions or engage in actions you may later regret. Taking a moment to pause when you realize you are becoming angry can help with anger management. You may want to picture a relaxing scene, like a forest clearing or a spot on the beach, to defuse your anger. You can also intentionally remove yourself from an escalating situation by saying something along the lines of, “I need some quiet time to myself to think about this. Can we talk about it again later?”

Use mindfulness strategies for anger management

Sometimes, when you experience anger, you may sense you are a little disconnected from yourself. You may make problematic statements or behave in a way that conflicts with your core values and sense of self. Even if you successfully address the situation that made you angry, you may feel worse afterward due to the guilt and shame associated with your actions.

Mindfulness can be one method of staying connected to yourself during angry moments. Mindfulness is often described as the practice of grounding yourself in the present moment and checking in with your body. Some mindfulness strategies, like deep breathing, can also serve as relaxation techniques that may physically lessen your body’s anger response and reduce overall stress. 

Mental health conditions that can involve anger

Uncontrolled anger may sometimes indicate the presence of a mental health concern. There are several mental illnesses that can involve anger problems as a symptom. 

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Intermittent explosive disorder

Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental health condition typically characterized by frequent and seemingly uncontrollable angry outbursts that are usually disproportionate to the situation at hand. People with IED may demonstrate aggression and sometimes even violent behavior during these outbursts. Although people with IED often feel embarrassed and ashamed of themselves after an outburst, they typically sense they are unable to control their anger and prevent future incidents.  

Mood disorders

Anger can sometimes be thought of purely in terms of rage, but milder emotions like frustration and irritation can also fall under the umbrella of anger. Many mood disorders, including depression and bipolar disorder, can heighten a person’s level of irritability and decrease their tolerance for frustration. For bipolar disorder in particular, irritability can be a noticeable symptom in both manic and depressive states.

Other mental health conditions

Several other mental health conditions can result in increased susceptibility to anger. Substance use disorders, particularly alcohol and stimulant use disorders, can be linked to anger concerns. The heightened arousal associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may lead to angry outbursts in certain situations, too. 

Anxiety disorders can contribute to irritability and anger for some people as well. In addition, several personality disorders, including borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder, can be associated with anger problems. 

Mental health support for anger management

If you suspect your anger issues may be linked to a mental health condition, connecting with a licensed mental health professional could be beneficial. However, you do not need to have a diagnosable mental disorder to benefit from talking to a therapist. 

Therapists can help you develop an anger management plan and more effectively understand and control your anger. They can identify situations that tend to trigger an anger response and work with you to employ effective strategies to keep your anger in check.

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Is frequent anger negatively impacting your life?

Online therapy to help you manage your anger

People who struggle to manage their anger may feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed about their challenges and past behaviors. This shame can sometimes prevent them from authentically engaging with a therapist. In these situations, online therapy may be a beneficial alternative to traditional in-person therapy. With online therapy, you can choose to connect with a therapist via video chat, phone call, or online chat, depending on your preferences and comfort level.

Research suggests that online therapy can effectively address a wide range of mental health concerns, including anger issues. One study examined the effects of an online therapeutic intervention on a group of people reporting problematic anger and found that completing a course of online therapy usually reduced anger symptoms.

Takeaway

While anger can be a natural part of life, it may sometimes be necessary to take control of your anger and prevent it from escalating. Anger management techniques, like practicing mindfulness and taking a quick break from the situation, can be beneficial. Speaking to a therapist online or in person about your difficulties with controlling anger may also help you reduce angry outbursts.

Learn to separate anger from behavior
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