I Have Anger Issues: Ways To Address Them
Anger can be a normal part of the human experience, but uncontrolled anger can contribute to a variety of challenges. Saying to yourself, "I have anger issues," is often the first step toward addressing these concerns. By acknowledging your difficulties with anger, you can begin to gain awareness of their causes and learn ways to manage anger and prevent physical and psychological harm to yourself and others. A licensed therapist can help you navigate this process.
Indications of anger issues
“Anger issues” is not an official clinical term, but a colloquial phrase that generally refers to challenges with managing anger.
Anger usually arises when we believe that we have been mistreated in some way, prompting a fight-or-flight reaction that may be inappropriate for the situation. When a person has trouble managing their response to anger, it may harm their physical and psychological well-being and contribute to other concerns, such as relationship problems. Anger issues can also lead to physiological changes that can make it more challenging to exercise good judgment, so it can be helpful to learn how to control anger before it escalates.
Signs of anger issues
Signs of potential difficulties managing anger can include the following:
- Frequent angry outbursts
- Dwelling on past wrongs
- A tendency toward self-loathing
- Irritability
- Angry thoughts that tend to snowball into more angry thoughts and feelings
- A tendency to be harsh when criticizing others or talking behind their backs
- Infrequent but explosive expressions of anger
- Depression symptoms
- A partner or significant other telling you they find your anger scary
- Passive-aggressive behavior, like being very sarcastic or sulking
The relationship between stress and anger
Experiencing stress, especially for a prolonged period, can influence one's propensity toward anger in several ways. For example, stress can make it more challenging to interpret situations accurately. When you’re stressed, your body usually releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, priming your body to respond to perceived threats. Moreover, stress and anger can fuel one another, so being stressed can make you angrier, and being angry can contribute to additional stress.
Stress reduction tips
Finding ways to reduce stress may lower reactivity. Below are a few helpful tools to alleviate stress:
- Practicing mindfulness
- Exercising regularly
- Spending time in nature
- Getting enough quality sleep
- Practicing a hobby
- Connecting with friends
- Doing yoga or tai-chi
- Practicing relaxation techniques, like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation
- Practicing gratitude
- Aiming for a healthy work/life balance
- Taking control of situations you would like to change
- Avoiding alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine use as coping strategies
- Learning to effectively prioritize tasks and activities
Reducing aggressive behavior and unhelpful thoughts with anger management tools
When we're angry, we tend to harbor thoughts of blame, which can increase our predisposition toward aggressive behavior. This usually stems from frustration, anxiety, or provocation. Anger management generally offers a way to address one's challenges with managing anger and unhelpful thought patterns.
For example, when we're angry, we tend to think in an exaggerated way, so it can be helpful to find more neutral, rational ways to think about the situation. Indications of a rising temper can include quick breathing, a fast heart rate, shoulder tension, and a sudden desire to clench your fists. Finding ways to diffuse tension can allow you to handle challenging situations more skillfully.
Anger management tips to address aggressive behavior and unhelpful thoughts
Some anger management tips include the following:
- Avoid using words like "should," "never," and "always."
- Try replacing exaggerated thoughts like, "You ruined everything," with "This is really frustrating, and I'm upset."
- Check your anger level before it escalates. For example, if you sense that you are becoming increasingly upset, step away from the situation by leaving the room.
- Learn relaxation skills, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness. Practicing these techniques in your daily life may allow you to access them more easily in a challenging situation.
- Avoid rehashing the situation, especially if you have already discussed the incident that upset you.
- Aim to get a more balanced perspective by thinking about the situation in a more rational way.
- Exercise and stay active to release pent-up energy.
- Try doing yoga.
- Remind yourself that the world is not "out to get you."
- Avoid "all-or-nothing" thinking.
- Avoid jumping to conclusions and resist saying the first thing that comes to mind when provoked.
- Aim not to take yourself too seriously.
How anger can affect health conditions
Anger usually acts as a biological response to a perceived threat, providing us with a sudden burst of energy to react. When continually activated, anger tends to be associated with worsening health conditions and physiological distress. For example, recent studies indicate that even short bouts of anger can impair blood vessels' abilities to expand and contract, leading to an increased likelihood of heart problems.
Health conditions exacerbated by anger
Anger can be associated with many adverse health effects, including the following:
- Gastrointestinal problems
- Headaches
- High blood pressure
- Heart-related conditions
Understanding mental health problems and anger
Those who often feel anger may be experiencing a symptom of various mental health conditions, so it may be helpful to consider the context and underlying factors contributing to one's emotional responses.
For example, anger may be a manifestation of depression, anxiety, or a personality disorder. When a person has a mental health condition that makes it challenging to regulate their emotional responses, therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes can be helpful.
How anger can affect mental health problems
Unmanaged anger can contribute to the development or exacerbation of various mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders. Individuals with certain mental health conditions may also have difficulty regulating their emotions. For example, those with the following mental health conditions may experience anger more frequently or intensely:
- Intermittent explosive disorder
- Oppositional defiant disorder
- Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder
- Borderline personality disorder
- Bipolar disorder
- Depression
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Treatment to address a mental health condition involving anger
When seeking to address a mental health condition that makes it challenging to control emotions, including anger, it can be important to seek a professional evaluation. Depending on the condition diagnosed, treatment may involve learning stress management techniques, taking prescription medication, and attending regular therapy sessions.
Treatment approaches for a mental health condition with anger as a symptom
Therapeutic approaches that may effectively address anger and other challenging emotions include those discussed below:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT can address unhelpful thought and behavioral patterns by changing the way we think about and respond to situations that may lead to anger. One CBT-based anger treatment approach is called stress inoculation. This typically involves exposing a person to imagined situations that would provoke anger and offering them a chance to practice how they would cope in these situations.
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT usually focuses on promoting emotional regulation, interpersonal skills, and mindfulness training, all of which may benefit individuals experiencing challenges with regulating emotions. DBT is often seen as the main treatment for people with borderline personality disorder.
- Family therapy: Family therapy can help family members communicate and resolve conflicts more effectively.
Addressing mental health conditions with therapy
Many people struggle to manage their anger, regardless of whether it's a symptom of an underlying mental health condition. If you believe you could benefit from receiving support in managing anger and other difficult emotions, speaking with a therapist might help.
Platforms like BetterHelp can enable you to attend sessions with a licensed therapist from any location with an internet connection at times that suit your schedule. You can further customize the therapy experience to suit your comfort level by choosing between video, audio, and online chat for each appointment.
A 2023 study evaluating the effectiveness of online CBT suggested that four weeks of therapy could help people with anger and aggression challenges. The study employed techniques associated with CBT, such as cognitive reappraisal and mindful emotion awareness, leading the researchers to conclude that these combined techniques "resulted in significantly lower levels of outward anger expression, aggression, and anger rumination."
Takeaway
When poorly managed, anger can be detrimental to one's health and well-being, and it can also contribute to relationship problems and other concerns. By seeking ways to manage stress and learning anger management tools, one can gain control of their anger and diffuse tension when it arises. Whether in-person or online, therapy may help you navigate anger and learn helpful coping strategies.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Below are some of the most frequently asked questions on this topic.
How do I control my anger issues?
Angry feelings can be difficult to cope with. When you feel angry, you might want to lash out, give the silent treatment, or take out your feelings on others. However, doing so can make things worse and lead to a tense situation. To control your feelings, start by taking responsibility for your emotions and behaviors. Feeling angry is valid but the way you react to your anger is what matters. For example, if you throw things instead of taking quiet time to calm down, you’re choosing to act in a maladaptive way. To cope with frustrating situations, breathe deeply and consider the root cause. If you need to take space, do so until you have calmed down. Talking to a therapist or someone you trust may also be helpful.
How to get help for anger issues?
If you’re experiencing anger problems, you’re not alone. Many therapists offer professional help for anger or specialize in anger management. You may also be able to go to anger management group therapy to learn non-confrontational ways to communicate when expressing anger. Therapy can be a powerful tool for change and may help you identify any external factors contributing to your difficulty controlling anger.
What are anger issues a symptom of?
The causes of anger issues can vary. Often, frequent anger stems from challenges like mental health conditions, trauma, stress, sensory overload, or challenging relationships. If you’re being treated unfairly, you might be more angry than usual. Regardless of where your anger problem stems from, you can get better at expressing feelings healthily by talking to a therapist.
Why am I so easily frustrated and angry?
Frustration and anger can often arise when one is stressed or overwhelmed. Suppressing emotions like sadness or fear can also lead to higher levels of anger and health risk behaviors. If you have experienced trauma, you may also be at a higher risk for anger. Traumatic events affect emotional processing, which can lead to difficulty regulating emotions that have a negative impact. Talk to a mental health professional to learn more about what causes anger for you.
Can anger issues go away?
Anger issues can go away and are often treated with therapy and anger management interventions. You can also practice self-help skills at home, such as taking a few moments to breathe before responding when you’re angry or practicing mindfulness on your daily commute.
Why do I get so angry over little things?
Getting angry quickly or over “minor” situations can be a sign of overwhelm, mental illness, sensory overload, and other challenges. If you’re unsure why you’re getting angry, talking to a therapist may be helpful. They can help you understand the underlying causes of your anger and cope with challenging behavioral urges.
What emotion is behind anger?
Everyone experiences different emotions related to anger. In some cases, anger is a primary emotion and arises by itself. However, anger can also be a secondary emotion that follows other emotions like sadness, guilt, or fear. In these cases, anger may arise because an individual is uncomfortable with the core emotion. Learning to identify and cope with the core emotion may reduce anger.
What does anger do to your body?
Anger can cause one’s blood pressure to rise and may stimulate the nervous system, causing anxiety and fear. When anger causes prolonged stress, one may be at a higher risk of heart disease. Anger can also cause a sensation of being hot or flushed.
Why am I always angry and irritated for no reason?
Getting angry without any identifiable reason can be frustrating. However, there may be a cause that you’re not picking up on. Talking to a therapist may help you come to an understanding of what is causing your anger. In some cases, other emotions like sadness or anxiety may be contributing to anger. Some people get angry when they are stressed or being treated unfairly by others. Anger is an emotion, so it’s a teacher. When you’re angry, your feelings may be trying to tell you something.
What is the root of anger?
The root of anger can vary, as not everyone has the same experiences. However, common causes of anger include traumatic events, sensory overload, stress, being mistreated, or living with a mental illness. Irritation can be a symptom of conditions like depression and anxiety.
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