Managing Pent-Up Anger: Practical Techniques For Emotional Relief

Feeling angry is a natural response to various types of scenarios. However, it’s important to release anger in healthy ways. Pent-up anger can negatively impact both physical and mental health and may affect relationships as well. Developing anger management skills and coping strategies to release pent-up frustration may help restore emotional balance and prevent long-term consequences. Read on to explore practical techniques for recognizing and relieving pent-up anger to help you regain control over your emotions and improve your overall well-being.

Understanding anger

Anger and other emotions like irritability and frustration are a natural emotional response to a threat or injustice. While anger can be healthy when expressed constructively, it can become harmful when suppressed or expressed in destructive ways. 

When we become angry, our nervous system signals our body to trigger the "fight-or-flight" response, leading to increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and a surge of adrenaline. This response can make it hard to react calmly and productively.

Psychologically, anger can cause feelings of anxiety or stress and may lead to negative or distorted thought patterns. These may include cognitive distortions such as all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, and blaming others for personal difficulties. In some cases, anger may contribute to or exacerbate symptoms of psychological and mental health disorders like obsessive-compulsive disorder, major depressive disorder, or bipolar disorder. 

What is suppressed anger? 

When anger arises, some people may hold back or suppress this emotion instead of expressing it healthily and constructively. This practice is called anger suppression, and while it may help avoid conflict or discomfort in the short term, it can contribute to other problems down the line. That’s because this unexpressed anger doesn’t always disappear over time; instead, it can build on itself and may lead to passive-aggressive behaviors, irritability, health problems, and angry outbursts. 

Causes of anger suppression

There are many different potential causes of anger suppression. One is an attempt to avoid conflict. This can involve a person choosing not to share how they feel because they don't want to become involved in an argument. Or, they may not know how to express their anger in a constructive way that does not lead to an argument. 

A person may also suppress feelings of anger due to cultural or societal norms, such as the belief that expressing their own anger or dissatisfaction is inappropriate. As a result, they may fear how expressing anger will be perceived by those around them or how it will impact their relationships. These views may lead a person to suppress their feelings of anger rather than express them and risk judgment or embarrassment. 

How can pent-up anger impact health?

Again, while anger can be a healthy and natural emotion, pent-up anger or frustration can negatively impact both mental and physical health. Anger suppression may also cause behavior changes in a person, which could impact overall health as well. Some of the potential impacts of anger suppression on a person's health include the following. 

Pent-up anger and mental health

A person who does not release pent-up anger may experience mental health concerns such as chronic stress and anxiety. Suppressed anger may also cause rumination, where individuals repeatedly think about past grievances or frustrations, which can intensify feelings of helplessness or worry or even intensify suppressed anger. Studies suggest that suppressed anger may also lead to mental health conditions such as depression.

Pent-up anger and physical health

Suppressed anger can have an impact on a person’s physical health as well because of the fact that it causes ongoing stress. When anger is held in, the body's "fight-or-flight" response remains activated, causing muscle tension, high blood pressure, and a high heart rate. Over time, this can lead to hypertension and a greater likelihood of heart disease, heart attacks, and strokes.

Changes in behavior due to pent-up anger

Suppressed anger may also impact a person’s decision-making and personal behaviors. It may cause a person to behave passive-aggressively towards others, expressing their anger through sarcasm, subtle insults, procrastination, or intentionally underperforming on tasks. This can lead to miscommunications or cause additional strain on interpersonal relationships. 

Anger suppression may also cause outbursts of anger at inappropriate times. When anger is consistently bottled up, it can build until it reaches a breaking point, which can cause an over-the-top anger response to minor irritations. These outbursts can be confusing to both the person who is angry and those around them, and they can negatively impact work life, home life, and interpersonal relationships.  

How suppressed feelings of anger can affect relationships

Expressing anger in healthy and respectful ways can be an important part of developing both personal and professional relationships. Anger can inform the setting of boundaries with others, sometimes serving as a marker of what you are willing or not willing to accept in a relationship. By suppressing anger and not listening to its messages, you may be communicating to others that you are comfortable with certain actions or changes even if you are not. 

Pent-up anger can also eventually cause unexpected outbursts, which may be inappropriately targeted or disproportionate to the situation. This can negatively impact relationships and cause unnecessary tension between friends, colleagues, or family members. In some instances, for fear of experiencing an outburst or conflict, a person may even withdraw from friends and family, which can cause loneliness and could contribute to or exacerbate depression.  

Coping strategies and relaxation techniques for anger 

Learning to cope with anger and developing strategies or techniques for relaxation can be important for overall health and well-being. Like other forms of emotional regulation, learning to stay calm while angry and finding healthy ways to release anger may take practice. Common strategies for coping with anger include relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and lifestyle changes.  

Relaxation techniques for anger management

When you feel angry, it can be helpful to take a moment to pause and relax before you respond. Relaxation techniques may include stepping away and doing some exercises such as deep breathing, counting to a set number, or doing progressive muscle relaxation. These strategies can help take the focus away from the immediate anger and may help you calm down before addressing how you are feeling. 

Mindfulness to help you reflect on your feelings

Managing anger in a healthy way does not only involve relaxing and waiting until the feeling dissipates. It may also be important to reflect and consider what triggered your anger and how you responded to it. Reflection activities may include mindfulness meditation or journaling, both of which can help you put your thoughts into perspective before reacting. These strategies may be beneficial because they can help you process anger rather than simply pushing it off until another time. 

Lifestyle changes

To reduce the impact of anger overall and as a way to manage pent-up anger, it may be beneficial to make some lifestyle changes. For example, adding in a daily exercise routine may reduce the impact of anger and pent-up aggression and could also help counteract the initial fight-or-flight response that a person has when they get angry. Eating consistently and aiming for balanced eating patterns may also help mitigate anger and make anger management strategies more effective. 

Mental health support for anger management

For individuals who are living with pent-up frustration or frequent bouts of anger, it may be beneficial to work with a licensed mental health professional who can develop a plan to help you manage anger in a healthy way. Therapy can be an effective method of managing frustration and developing long-term coping strategies to reduce pent-up irritation. A therapist may use strategies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help a client learn to identify triggering situations and reframe emotions and negative thought patterns.

It may be challenging to schedule time during the work week to attend in-person therapy sessions with a licensed therapist. With online therapy, however, you can work with a therapist from anywhere you have an internet connection. This means that you can attend sessions from the comfort of your own home at times that work for you. Research suggests that online therapy can be an effective alternative to in-person therapy in many cases, including for managing problematic anger.