Managing Your Emotions: How To Control Anger Outbursts

Updated November 13, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Anger can negatively impact well-being when not managed effectively. Uncontrolled anger can lead to strained personal and professional relationships, health issues, and a diminished quality of life. This article explores strategies for controlling anger outbursts and maintaining emotional balance, including relaxation and stress management techniques, journaling, and therapy.

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Are anger outbursts causing problems in your life?

The importance of learning to control anger

Learning to control anger can benefit your overall well-being and personal relationships. When individuals manage their anger effectively, they may experience improved mental and physical health, better communication with others, and more positive interactions in their daily lives.

Mastering anger control can enhance emotional intelligence and self-awareness. As individuals become more adept at recognizing and managing their emotions, they may find improvements in other areas of their lives, such as their decision-making and problem-solving abilities.

Negative effects of uncontrolled anger

Uncontrolled anger may lead to consequences like workplace conflicts, relationship breakdowns, and potential legal issues. Studies show that, over time, uncontrolled anger may also contribute to high blood pressure, heart disease, and blood vessel dysfunction. Additional negative effects may include the following:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Difficulty maintaining positive relationships
  • Substance misuse
  • Social isolation
  • Job loss

Anger management techniques can prevent many negative outcomes. Understanding anger's causes and effects may reduce these risks.

How to control anger effectively

Controlling anger usually involves recognizing what provokes it, identifying early signs, and implementing strategies to manage emotions before they escalate. Effective anger management often requires a combination of self-awareness, coping mechanisms, and communication skills.

Strategies to manage your anger in daily life

Several strategies can be employed to manage anger in everyday situations. Your personal experience and unique circumstances may call for different techniques, but some common strategies include those listed below:

  • Physical activity: Engaging in physical activities like yoga, exercise, or sports can release built-up anger and provide a healthy outlet for emotions.
  • Positive self-talk: Using positive affirmations or calming statements may reduce intense emotions.
  • Time-outs: Removing yourself from a situation that provokes anger can provide space to cool down and reflect on how to respond effectively.
  • Effective communication skills: Learning effective communication skills can help you express your emotions constructively and resolve conflicts peacefully.

How relaxation techniques can help you manage anger

Relaxation techniques can serve as tools for managing anger. These methods generally reduce physical tension and promote a sense of calm, which may prevent anger from escalating. When practiced regularly, relaxation techniques may increase overall emotional resilience and stress tolerance.

Incorporating relaxation techniques into daily routines can create a foundation of calmness, potentially making it easier to handle frustrating situations. These practices can be helpful during moments of mild irritation, often preventing the progression to more intense anger.

Specific relaxation techniques for anger management

Research shows that specific relaxation techniques can reduce tension and anxiety and promote a sense of calm and well-being. 

  • Progressive muscle relaxation: Progressively tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in the body
  • Guided imagery: Visualizing a calm, peaceful scene in detail
  • Mindfulness meditation: Focusing on the present moment, often by paying attention to one's breath or bodily sensations

These techniques can be beneficial for an angry person looking to develop better emotional control and prevent their anger from escalating. If anger expression presents a considerable disruption in daily life, anger management therapy may be necessary.

Mastering deep breathing for emotional regulation

Deep breathing can be a common emotional regulation technique. When a person is angry, their breath often becomes shallow and rapid. By consciously slowing and deepening the breath, it can be possible to activate the body's relaxation response and reduce the physiological symptoms of anger.

Deep breathing typically works by increasing oxygen flow to the brain and stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system, which can calm the body and mind. This technique can be practiced anywhere and anytime, making it a versatile tool for anger management.

Deep breathing exercises to calm anger quickly

Various deep breathing exercises can be employed to calm anger quickly.

  • 4-7-8 technique: Inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight.
  • Diaphragmatic breathing: Focus on breathing deeply into the abdomen rather than the chest.
  • Box breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold for four before beginning the cycle again.
  • Alternate nostril breathing: Close one nostril and inhale through the other, then switch and exhale through the opposite nostril. Repeat several times.

By practicing these exercises regularly, individuals can improve their ability to manage anger in real-time situations. While these techniques may not eliminate anger altogether, they can provide a sense of control and potentially prevent anger from escalating into harmful outbursts.

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Recognizing and addressing your feelings

Recognizing and addressing your feelings can be a component of effective anger management. Often (but not always), anger serves as a secondary emotion, masking other underlying feelings, such as fear, sadness, or disappointment. Identifying these primary emotions can help you address the root causes of anger more effectively.

Developing emotional awareness usually involves paying attention to physical sensations, thoughts, and behavioral patterns associated with different emotions. This increased self-awareness can help individuals recognize when they're beginning to feel angry and take proactive steps to manage their emotions.

Learning to express anger in healthy ways can reduce the risk of it turning into aggression or self-destructive behavior. Some healthy ways to express anger might involve the following:

  • Using "I" statements to communicate your feelings
  • Journaling to process your emotions
  • Seeking support from trusted individuals

A healthy approach to anger management may involve both acknowledging and addressing emotions in a constructive manner. By finding appropriate outlets for expressing anger, individuals can address underlying emotions and prevent anger from harming themselves and others.

Identifying underlying feelings that fuel anger

Anger often serves as a protective mechanism, shielding individuals from more vulnerable emotions. For example, being criticized might lead to anger as a defense against hurt or insecurity. By examining the situations that typically lead to anger, it may be possible to identify patterns and uncover the underlying emotions.

Keeping an anger journal can be a tool for identifying these underlying feelings. By recording anger-inducing incidents, including the circumstances, thoughts, and physical sensations experienced, individuals can begin to recognize recurring themes and emotional patterns.

Seeking feedback from trusted friends or family members can also provide insights. Sometimes, others can observe emotional patterns that are not immediately apparent to the individual experiencing them. This external perspective can contribute to a more comprehensive understanding of one's emotions and facilitate effective anger management.

Coping with stress to prevent anger outbursts

Stress and anger are often linked. High levels of stress can lower the threshold for anger, making individuals more susceptible to outbursts. Therefore, developing effective stress management techniques can be helpful for anger control.

Regular exercise may be one way to reduce stress and manage anger. Physical activity can release tension, increase endorphin levels, and improve overall mood. Even short periods of exercise, such as a brisk walk, can have an impact on stress levels.

Maintaining a balanced lifestyle can also manage stress and prevent anger outbursts. A balanced lifestyle generally includes getting adequate sleep, prioritizing nutritious eating habits, and engaging in enjoyable activities or hobbies. These practices can contribute to overall well-being and may increase resilience to stress.

Stress management techniques for anger control

Stress can be managed in various ways, and what works for one individual may not work for another. Some common stress management techniques include those discussed below:

  • Time management: Prioritizing tasks, setting realistic goals, and avoiding overcommitment can reduce overwhelm.
  • Practicing gratitude: Regularly reflecting on things for which you are grateful can shift your focus away from stressors.
  • Social support: Sharing your feelings with trusted individuals can provide emotional support and perspective.
  • Meditation and mindfulness: These practices usually involve focusing on the present moment, promoting relaxation, and reducing stress.

By incorporating these techniques into daily life, individuals can better cope with stressors and prevent anger outbursts. Furthermore, by addressing stress before it escalates into anger, individuals may experience improved overall emotional regulation.

Reshaping your thoughts to manage anger

The way individuals interpret events can impact their emotional responses. Cognitive restructuring typically involves identifying and challenging thought patterns that may contribute to anger. By reframing situations in a more balanced light, it may be possible to reduce angry reactions.

Cognitive strategies to reframe angry thoughts and cognitive distortions

Cognitive distortions can contribute to a skewed perception of events, potentially leading to increased anger. Below are a few common cognitive distortions:

  • All-or-nothing thinking: Viewing situations as completely good or bad without considering the gray areas
  • Personalization: Taking responsibility for things outside of one's control
  • Overgeneralization: Drawing broad conclusions based on limited evidence

While these distortions may seem accurate in the moment, they often do not reflect reality. By challenging and reframing these thoughts, individuals can reduce anger and improve their overall emotional well-being. Here are several common strategies to reframe angry thoughts:

  • Challenging absolute thinking: Considering alternative perspectives and finding evidence to support a more balanced view of the situation
  • Practicing cognitive defusion: Creating distance between oneself and one’s thoughts to reduce their impact
  • Using positive self-talk: Replacing negative, angry thoughts with more constructive and realistic statements
  • Developing a problem-solving mindset: Focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on problems 
A couple attends therapy session, one man smiling in agreement.
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Are anger outbursts causing problems in your life?

Incorporating these cognitive strategies into daily life can help you develop a more adaptive thought process and manage angry feelings in healthier ways. Through consistent practice, individuals can reduce the intensity and frequency of angry outbursts and improve their overall emotional well-being.

For some individuals, managing anger may require professional support. If anger is significantly impacting your daily life or relationships, seeking therapy can provide additional tools and strategies for effective anger management. A mental health professional can also assist in identifying and addressing underlying emotional factors that could be contributing to your anger.

Online therapy can be particularly beneficial for individuals working on anger management. The affordability of many online therapy services can make it possible for more people to access professional help, potentially leading to better outcomes in controlling anger. Furthermore, flexible scheduling generally allows clients to maintain regular sessions despite busy schedules, facilitating consistent practice and reinforcement of anger management strategies.

Research indicates that online therapy can be an effective treatment for maladaptive anger. Studies have shown positive outcomes in reducing anger expression and aggression, particularly among individuals with higher initial levels of anger pathology. Furthermore, the studies emphasize addressing emotional regulation as a key component in successfully treating maladaptive anger.

Takeaway

Angry people often have difficulty effectively regulating their emotions, which can lead to outbursts and strained relationships. By understanding the links between stress and anger, individuals can develop strategies to manage both factors and reduce angry episodes. Recognizing which events affect anger and implementing cognitive strategies to reframe thoughts can also contribute to better emotional regulation. Working with a therapist in your local area or online can provide you with the guidance you deserve as you learn to manage anger more effectively.

Learn to separate anger from behavior
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