Postpartum Anger: Why It Happens And How To Manage It

Postpartum anger, often referred to as postpartum rage, is not uncommon among new mothers and parents in general. This intense feeling of anger and agitation can arise in the weeks and months after having a baby. The stress of caring for a new baby, changes to your sense of self, and sleep deprivation can be overwhelming. Anger can be directed at partners, family members, or even yourself, affecting both you and the people around you.

Support is available to help you manage these strong emotions, and it can be important to seek help if you need it. These intense feelings can be managed. There are specific resources and therapies to help new mothers and parents manage postpartum anger and other mental health challenges.

Mental health in the postpartum period

The postpartum period can be stressful. New parents may experience a rollercoaster of emotions. It can be common to experience joy and excitement but also sadness and anxiety.

Postpartum mood disorders tend to be different from the regular ups and downs. They include postpartum depression, anxiety disorders, and postpartum rage. About one in seven new parents face postpartum depression, which is usually characterized by emotional highs and lows, fatigue, and frequent crying.

Symptoms of postpartum mood disorders can include the following:

• Anger and irritability
• Intense sadness
• Anxiety and panic attacks
• Trouble bonding with the baby

Parents’ mental health often needs attention during this time. Ignoring mental illness may worsen the situation, affecting both the parent and the baby. Knowing the signs may make a difference in seeking the right support. 

The effects of postpartum depression on new parents

Postpartum depression (PPD) can affect new parents in many ways. Many mothers may struggle to bond with their new babies, which can lead to guilt and a sense of isolation. These emotions can vary, but they often make daily tasks seem harder to complete.

Fathers and partners can also experience increased stress. Although many mothers may live with PPD, it can also be common for fathers to experience the condition. The emotional strain can affect the parents’ relationship, possibly leading to communication problems and added tension at home.

Postpartum mood disorders can also affect the entire family dynamic. Friends and other family members may notice changes and sense they are helpless, not knowing how to support the new parents. As a result, there may be a lack of adequate social support during a critical time.

Anger as a common emotion for new mothers

Many new mothers experience emotions they may not have expected. One common emotion is postpartum anger. It can manifest as frustration over little things, general irritability, or even episodes of rage. For some, this anger stands alone. For others, it might be linked to PPD.

Postpartum rage can be intense and usually goes beyond simple annoyance. Some mothers might experience postpartum rage that leads to seemingly uncontrollable outbursts and a deep sense of shame after these episodes. They may often ask themselves if this is normal.

Several factors might contribute to this anger. After childbirth, hormone levels can change, possibly leading to mood swings. Stress from getting used to caring for a new baby, not getting enough sleep, and disruptions to your daily routine may also play a role. Lacking sufficient support might worsen this emotion.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) might not list postpartum rage specifically, but it can fall under broader mood disorder categories. If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, reaching out to a healthcare professional may be recommended. They can guide you toward resources and support.

Strategies for managing postpartum anger

Anger or irritability after having a baby can be common. There are several strategies that may help you manage these emotions. 

Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness and meditation may help you manage postpartum anger if you're a new parent. Focusing on the present moment may help reduce stress and improve emotional control. You can start by sitting quietly for a few minutes daily and paying attention to your breathing. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You can find many apps and online resources offering guided meditations.

Seek support from a mental health professional

Talking to a mental health professional may be helpful for you. They can provide a safe space where you can express your feelings and learn coping skills. These professionals may also help you identify any underlying problems that might be causing postpartum anger. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be especially useful. It usually focuses on changing negative thought patterns to be more constructive. 

Join a support group for new parents

Connecting with others who are experiencing similar challenges may be comforting for you. There are many support groups for new parents where you can share your feelings and gain perspective. Many hospitals and community centers provide support groups, and plenty of online forums and social media groups are available as well.

Establish a routine to manage the postpartum period

Creating a daily routine may help you manage the challenges of the postpartum period. A predictable schedule might reduce stress and provide stability in your day-to-day life. Planning activities, including feeding times, naps, and self-care, may be helpful. While flexibility can be important, having a basic structure may give you a sense of control.

Prioritize self-care and rest

Taking care of yourself can be key to managing postpartum anger. Prioritizing self-care activities, like enjoying a relaxing bath or reading a good book, can give you the breaks you need. It can be vital to set aside time for activities you enjoy. You can also try to nap when your baby naps and ask for help from family and friends to ensure you get the rest you need.

Consider postpartum depression screening

Postpartum anger can sometimes be a sign of postpartum depression or anxiety. Therefore, you may want to consider getting screened by a healthcare provider. Screening usually involves answering questions about your mood, thoughts, and behaviors. If the screening shows signs of depression or anxiety, your healthcare provider might suggest appropriate treatment options, such as therapy, medication, or other forms of support.

Organizations that support new parents

Welcoming a new baby can be both joyful and challenging. Several organizations may offer support for new parents living with postpartum anger and other mental health challenges.

• Postpartum Support International (PSI) offers resources and a helpline. Their goal is to increase awareness about the emotional changes that parents experience.
• Baby Blues Connection provides free help to parents living with postpartum depression and anxiety. They offer support groups and resources tailored to new parents' needs.
• The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers guidance on recognizing signs of postpartum mental health conditions. They also provide strategies for managing these challenges.

These organizations may support parents through one of the most critical periods of their lives. You can always search for organizations and reach out for help.

Seeking professional help for postpartum mental health challenges

Talking to a healthcare provider may be important if you’re having severe difficulties with anger. Most individuals need to have postpartum anger diagnosed to receive professional treatment. If you experience intense anger or irritability after giving birth, it could be a sign of postpartum rage. Many individuals with postpartum rage might also be living with related challenges like anxiety disorders. 

Therapy often helps. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can teach individuals how to cope with triggering situations and manage their emotions. 

Another treatment option involves medication, although this may not be appropriate in every situation. You can discuss medication options with your healthcare provider.

Online therapy for postpartum anger

Online therapy may be a convenient and effective way to manage postpartum anger. One potential benefit of online therapy is that you can schedule sessions at convenient times. Taking care of a newborn can be hectic, making it difficult to find time for in-person therapy. With online therapy, you may be able to fit sessions into your day more easily. 

Another potential advantage is access to a wider range of therapists. Finding a therapist who understands postpartum anger can be hard, especially if you live in a small town or an area with few mental health resources. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp may give you access to many licensed professionals who specialize in postpartum challenges.

Is online therapy effective for postpartum anger and mental health problems?

Recent research shows that online therapy may be effective for treating various mental disorders, including postpartum mental health conditions. A 2021 study reviewed data from nine clinical trials involving 1,958 women with postpartum depression to see if telehealth treatments could help. The results showed that women who received telehealth support had a nearly three-point reduction in depression scores and a notable decrease in anxiety compared to those who didn't.