Symptoms Of Anger Issues In A Girl And How They May Change Over Time

Adults aren’t the only people who can experience challenges with managing anger. Children can experience anger issues as well. However, they may experience different symptoms and triggers. Here, we look at the differences between anger in children and adults, why identifying and addressing anger in children can be crucial, and how to recognize the signs of anger in a girl. If you’re a parent looking for help managing your child’s anger, connecting with a licensed therapist online or in person may be helpful.

Can children have anger issues? 

Children can have trouble controlling their anger in various situations. While tantrums are not unusual in children younger than four, most outgrow them before kindergarten. If tantrum-like behaviors (including kicking, hitting, and stomping) continue as children get older or become atypical for their age, it can be a sign of anger issues that should be addressed.

Children can experience anger for many reasons, and these reasons may not always be obvious to their parents. For some kids, anger may be influenced by hormonal changes, the experience of growing up in a household where anger was a common occurrence, or not having their basic needs met. For others, it may stem from friendship problems, the stress of school performance, fear, or bullying.

It may be worth noting that anger is a normal emotion. In general, everyone gets angry sometimes. Anger can be a way for children to recognize when a situation is unfair or someone is treating them poorly. Still, uncontrolled anger can present problems, and it can come with significant consequences for children as they enter adulthood if they do not learn to manage it effectively.

Mental and physical symptoms of anger in children

Symptoms of anger in children can vary depending on the cause of the anger and how they have been taught to manage it. Some kids may experience appetite changes or physical symptoms, like headaches or stomach aches, or they may seem easily frustrated or tense.

How anger issues can differ between children and adults

Learning to regulate emotions tends to be a complex process, and children can develop these skills at different times. The age at which they start to learn emotional regulation skills usually depends on multiple factors, including their temperament, environment, and the family in which they grew up.

Because they may not be able to manage their feelings as well as adults can, children may express their anger more outwardly. For example, even if they have outgrown tantrums, children may still yell, throw things, cry, or stomp their feet when angry. While adults may respond in these ways, too, they are more likely to be equipped to control their outward expressions of anger.

How girls may experience anger

While there is little research on this topic, a 2012 study revealed some potential differences in the ways gender can affect anger expression in children. 

Researchers found that, in middle childhood, girls usually show more positive emotions than boys, and boys show more externalized emotions. (In this study, expressions of anger, contempt, and disgust were considered externalized emotions.) 

Researchers speculated that this could be because girls are expected to outwardly display more positive emotions than boys, and they are often conditioned to show more sympathy and empathy while internalizing “negative” emotions like anger, fear, or shame. On the other hand, boys are generally expected to show fewer tender or vulnerable emotions, and it is generally seen as more acceptable for them to display outward anger and other negative emotions.

This study also found that, by adolescence, girls generally begin to show more externalized emotions, a result that surprised researchers. They speculated that this shift may result from the many changes that occur in adolescence, including hormonal changes and the increasing influence of peer groups. It’s also possible this shift could occur because girls may be more likely to express their emotions in general than boys once they reach adolescence.

Research has also found that girls and boys may express emotions differently depending on who is around them. For example, gender differences in emotional expression appear to become more pronounced in negative situations, as girls may be more likely to exhibit positive emotions in an effort to relieve social tension or to appear happy or cheerful. This potential tendency of girls to minimize negative feelings can make it challenging to identify what girls are really experiencing in these situations.

Physical symptoms of anger in girls

Physical signs of anger issues in girls can vary greatly, depending on age, development, and other contributing factors. They may experience a rapid heartbeat, faster breathing, flushing, muscle tension, and sweating.

Mental and behavioral symptoms of anger in girls

Mental and behavioral symptoms of anger in girls may not be easy to identify. In childhood, if girls have learned to internalize negative emotions and externalize positive ones, they may have difficulty accepting and expressing anger, which can lead to it turning inward. However, in adolescence, research suggests that there can be a shift, and girls may begin outwardly expressing their anger. 

For parents of girls, this may be a tough situation to navigate. When young girls who internalize their anger become teenagers who externalize it, this can be a big shift for parents, especially if they did not realize that their daughters were experiencing anger in childhood.

While mental and behavioral symptoms of anger in girls can be difficult to detect, some signs may include angry outbursts, irritability, aggression, depression, and low self-esteem.

What causes anger issues in children?

Many factors can contribute to anger issues in children, including genetics, environment, parenting styles, and levels of frustration. Anger issues can also accompany other mental health conditions in children.

Other mental health conditions associated with anger

Here are some mental health conditions that may be associated with anger issues in children: 

• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
• Tourette syndrome
• Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
• Conduct disorder (CD)
• Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD)

How angry thoughts and behaviors can affect children

Studies indicate that anger can have significant effects on school performance. For example, children who experience anger may put less effort into school and have less motivation to complete tasks. They may have difficulty problem-solving and remaining engaged in the learning process. Children with anger issues may also act aggressively toward their teachers and classmates, which can contribute to relationship problems and make school less enjoyable.

Anger issues can lead to more serious problems in the future

In some cases, if underlying mental health conditions are not identified or addressed, it can have a severe effect on the child well into adulthood. For example, untreated conduct disorder tends to be more likely to lead to personality disorders, substance misuse, violence, criminal behavior, and an increased risk of suicide.

Treatment and anger management options for children

If your child is experiencing challenges with anger, it can be hard to know what to do. If you are concerned about your child’s behavior, talk to their doctor for guidance. Treatment may include therapy, anger management, and parental support.

Learning to control angry thoughts and behaviors in therapy

The first line of treatment for anger issues in children is often behavioral intervention, usually cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and learning about emotional regulation. CBT can help children learn new strategies to manage anger, while emotional regulation skills can help them identify triggers and prevent outbursts.

How parents can help with anger management

Parental management techniques can help parents learn alternate ways to respond to their child’s anger in order to limit outbursts. It can be beneficial for parents to focus on positive reinforcement for positive behavior rather than punishing negative behavior to manage anger. This approach normally focuses on strengthening the family unit, with quality time together potentially serving as a motivating factor for the child.

Work with a therapist to support your mental health as a parent

If your child is struggling with anger, it can be challenging to cope. You may struggle to find ways to effectively support your child while managing your own emotions related to their anger. 

Whether you’re feeling angry, stressed, frustrated, or guilty, talking to a therapist can help you learn to manage your own emotions so that you can better support your child through their challenges. If you are uncomfortable meeting with someone in person or are having a difficult time finding an available appointment locally, online therapy can be a suitable alternative. 

When you sign up for an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can meet with a licensed mental health professional from any location with a reliable internet connection. Most people are matched with a therapist within 48 hours, and you can change providers at any time until you find one with whom you are comfortable. 

A growing body of research has determined that online therapy can effectively address a variety of mental health concerns and help parents learn to manage their emotions. For example, a 2018 review determined that online therapy led to an approximately 50% improvement in symptoms of multiple mental health disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and social anxiety disorder. 

Takeaway

Symptoms of an anger problem in children can be different than those in adults, and they may be particularly difficult to identify in girls. If you are concerned about your child’s behavior or believe they may be struggling with anger, talk to their doctor for guidance. An online or in-person therapist can help you understand more about your child’s anger and how to better support them while also managing your own emotions.