How Therapy Can Help You With Your Anger Related Problems
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Experiencing anger can be normal. Anger can be a healthy emotion that occurs like any other emotion. However, if you’re quick to feel rage or hostility toward others, you might be experiencing problematic or unhealthy anger. If you feel anger is controlling your behaviors or causing stress, you might consider working with an anger management therapist to learn emotional skills to manage your anger healthily and effectively.
Therapy for managing anger
Below are a few ways that anger management therapy may help you manage your feelings of anger and the behavioral urges accompanying them.
1. Identify the root of anger
At times, anger may be a reaction to another emotion. Therapy can help you identify the underlying cause of your anger and work through those emotions and experiences. If you understand what causes you to feel angry, you might choose to work on changing your response or leaning into the primary emotion.
For example, if you grew up in a home where your parents often yelled at each other, it may seem like an acceptable way to handle stressful situations in your relationships. Therapy can help you replace that urge to yell with a healthier urge, like spending time alone to calm down before interacting with others.
You might also notice that uncontrolled anger arises out of emotions like fear. For example, if you’re afraid of losing someone, you might yell or feel angry to try to reduce the impact of the vulnerability of fear, which may not seem like a safe emotion to you. Your therapist can help you identify what the underlying emotion is and how to notice when anger is showing up as a secondary emotion.
2. Treat related mental health conditions
While anger is a normal, healthy human emotion you may experience many times throughout life, anger can also be a sign of a mental health condition. Persistent feelings of anger and irritability may indicate a mental condition such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder. If your therapist believes you may be experiencing a mental illness, treating the mental illness may help reduce anger problems.
Other mental health conditions that may include symptoms of anger can include:
- Bipolar disorder
- Borderline personality disorder
- Histrionic personality disorder
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Substance use disorders
3. Build emotional intelligence and literacy
The positive effects of working with a therapist may include increased emotional intelligence (how well you recognize your feelings) and emotional literacy (how well you communicate your feelings). Part of treating anger problems may involve examining the other emotions you experience alongside anger, what may be causing other negative feelings, and how you can effectively express your feelings to those in your life. Suppressing emotions may contribute to anger, which can affect your mental and physical health.
4. Learn effective coping strategies for anger
According to the American Psychological Association, several coping strategies may allow you to address your anger.
- Take a moment to think before you speak
- Step away from the situation to avoid anger escalating
- Avoid sarcasm as a defense mechanism
- Practice deep breathing exercises like box breathing
- Try using humor to break the tension
- Practice relaxation skills, such as meditation or mindfulness practices
- Refocus your thoughts through exercise, music, or art
- Take a brisk walk or engage in other enjoyable physical activities
- Count to ten to redirect your energy and attention
- Visualize a relaxing environment or scene
5. Work on changing thought patterns and attitude
When angry, you might experience cognitive distortions, thoughts that may not be based in reality. Negative feelings may not stem from logic, so using logic and restructuring methods could be beneficial. A method called cognitive restructuring aims to change how you think, which can promote positive feelings and change how you respond to anger.
For example, some individuals might think a flat tire means their day is ruined. However, instead of thinking negatively, you might consider telling yourself, “this situation is frustrating, but I have a plan to fix it, and I’m looking forward to relaxing once it’s done.”
Seek help
It may be time to seek help with your anger issues if you experience frequent arguments, struggle to control outbursts or engage in harmful behaviors. Your friends or family may have suggested seeking help due to these problems.
Anger can influence many parts of life, such as conflicts with coworkers, violent thoughts or behaviors, legal concerns due to anger-related incidents, or explosive incidents leading to being banned from a business or online group. The American Psychological Association states that you might already know if you have a problem with anger and that psychological support can be beneficial in dealing with it.
If you’re unsure, taking an online screening test or talking to a psychologist before setting an appointment might help you make a choice.
Anger management therapy
Anger management is a therapy method to help clients manage emotional and physiological responses to anger. Changing the circumstances that cause anger may feel beyond your control, but changing how you react can be within your power.
Often, anger management therapy aims to help you express your feelings in a healthy way to reduce stress and control anger. You can get assistance through anger management classes with a mental health professional. Online therapy platforms, such as BetterHelp, may also provide ways to get all the benefits of anger management counseling from the comfort of your home.
Types of therapy
A trained mental health professional or therapist may help you determine the type of anger therapy that fits your situation and circumstances. If you see a psychiatrist or other mental healthcare provider, they can help you determine whether medication for anger would be a beneficial addition to your treatment. Below are a few types of anger management therapy modalities to try.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anger
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a popular treatment choice for controlling anger. This type of therapy can help you understand what might cause your anger, recognize ways to change negative thought patterns, establish coping strategies, and change your physical and emotional responses to anger to stay in control of your behaviors.
Family therapy for anger
Family therapy might help when your anger is directed at family members. This type of therapy allows you and your loved ones to create communication strategies for difficult emotional discussions with guidance and a supportive atmosphere.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
According to the American Psychological Association, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a flexible, stage-based therapy that combines principles of behavior therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, and mindfulness.” DBT may help people experiencing frequent or intense anger. This type of therapy typically involves a structured treatment plan with modules like distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion control, and interpersonal skills.
Psychodynamic therapy
Psychodynamic therapy may help you examine and evaluate your past experiences to identify the psychological roots of your anger. If you are angry about the past, this therapy may be most beneficial to you.
Why managing anger is beneficial
Research shows that anger and hostility can increase the chances of developing coronary heart disease and lead to unwanted outcomes in those with heart disease. Anger may also contribute to stress-related physical health issues, such as high blood pressure. Uncontrolled anger, for example, may cause your blood pressure to rocket. Managing anger may help keep your blood pressure levels in check.
Learning to manage your rage may also help improve your work life and relationships through effective communication. Focusing on your work or education when you feel angry can be challenging, and negative feelings may hurt your performance. Working in a group setting can be hard, and angry outbursts might alienate you from your peers. However, anger management can teach you strategies to repair relationships and move forward.
If your anger has caused harm in your relationships with loved ones, anger management can help you reconnect and rebuild the trust and respect you may have lost. If it has impacted your family, you might try family therapy to discuss the circumstances with those you love. Therapy can help redirect your thoughts and emotions, making it easier to let go of your own bitterness and transform your mindset.
Counseling options
Finding effective ways to manage anger issues on your own can be challenging. You might start by asking yourself "Do I have anger issues?" If you notice anger is causing problems in your relationships and daily life, you may benefit from speaking to a therapist. Many people turn to online therapy providers like BetterHelp for their convenience and lower cost. Virtual therapy platforms offer appointments via live chat, phone, or video calling, so you may find that therapy can fit conveniently into your schedule anytime you have an internet connection.
A recent study found that four weeks of online anger management therapy can effectively treat anger and aggression, reducing negative interactions between individuals and their loved ones. Researchers from the study stated that many people with anger issues feel ashamed of their behavior. They suggested that the internet format was appealing because users didn’t have to sit in a waiting room for a face-to-face appointment.
Takeaway
Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences at times, but uncontrolled anger can have adverse effects on multiple aspects of life, including long-term effects on relationships with friends and family members. However, help is available, and you’re not alone if you experience difficulty controlling your anger.
If you’re interested in therapy as a form of anger treatment but don’t feel comfortable with traditional in-office therapy, you might consider online therapy. With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a mental health professional who has experience helping people control anger and move forward with confidence. People often find therapy helps with identifying triggers and treating anger problems, even if they’ve experienced anger for many years. Take the first step toward getting help with anger and contact BetterHelp today.
How does anger affect you emotionally?
Anger is typically a reaction to some other negative emotion such as fear, frustration, or stress. When a person has difficulty recognizing and processing these emotions, anger can take hold, and lead to physical symptoms such as fast, shallow breathing, increased heart rate, and flushing. Anger can go outward as an explosion at others or be turned inward and lead to mental health and physical problems over time. Frequent anger often causes anxiety and depressive symptoms.
Why do I get angry and emotional so easily?
There are a number of factors that can put a person at risk for unregulated anger or other emotions. These include genetic factors, or environmental factors such as growing up in a household in which aggressive behavior or passive aggressive behavior was modeled by family members.
How to process emotions when angry?
Mindfulness techniques often help a person to process their anger. When you notice symptoms of anger building, pause and take deep, intentional breaths. You may learn to visualize a peaceful scene or repeat a calming mantra. Some may vent to a trusted friend or loved one to help them work through anger.
How can anger affect your life?
If anger is frequent and uncontrolled, it can lead to both physical and mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure. It can also interfere with a person’s ability to maintain healthy and lasting relationships, cause legal issues and negatively impact professional life. With a world in which immediate public expression is possible through social media, anger can also often damage reputations or friendships in an instant.
What emotion triggers anger?
Anger is frequently caused by either stress, fear, hurt, or frustration.
What emotion is behind my anger?
In a calm moment, take some time to assess what situation or feeling triggered your anger. In the moment before you were angry, did you feel stressed? Frustrated by some problem or unrealized goal, however small? Scared? Take a moment to jot down this trigger in a journal, and you may notice a pattern emerging over time.
How to heal from anger and hurt?
To heal from anger and hurt in the long term, the most effective solution is often some form of talk therapy. Not only can a mental health professional offer tools like relaxation techniques to manage your anger, but they can also help you identify the root cause and facilitate healing of any trauma and teach healthy communication skills that can reduce the strong emotions around stress and frustration. Learned aggressive or passive aggressive behaviors tend to become ingrained throughout life, but with practice a person can learn to shift to a more assertive form of communication.
What is the root of anger?
The root of anger is commonly the inability to process or cope with negative emotions in a healthy way, causing a person to lash out.
Why do I get emotional when I get angry?
There can be a number of reasons that your emotions feel out of control when you get angry. For some, it is because they feel unable to speak their mind. Others may feel that they are not being heard. Still others may have unresolved anxiety issues. Often people become emotional because they encounter communication challenges (in themselves or others) that cause frustration.
Are anger issues emotional?
Anger is an emotion that frequently springs from other emotions. It is normal to feel anger sometimes, but when a person has anger issues, it is often because they have difficulty expressing or processing other emotions such as fear, anxiety, or frustration.
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