Understanding Anger Management Counseling And How To Get Started

Updated November 13, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Anger is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. Whether it's due to a delayed flight, a disagreement with a loved one, or an unexpected event at work, there are moments when irritation boils over into anger. However, when anger becomes frequent, intense, or disproportionate, it may begin to affect relationships, work, and physical health. In this article, we’ll explore the nature of persistent or uncontrolled anger and how anger management counseling can help.

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Don’t let anger control you

Understanding anger

Anger isn’t inherently a bad thing. It can be a powerful emotion that can motivate change or highlight that something in our environment feels unjust or threatening. However, when anger spirals out of control, it can lead to negative consequences, both physically and emotionally. While occasional frustration is typically a natural response, .

Types of anger issues

Anger can manifest in various forms, and recognizing these types is often the first step in addressing the issue:

  1. Passive anger: Individuals may not outwardly express their frustration, but it can fester internally. Passive-aggressive behavior, such as sarcasm or the silent treatment, often signals this form of anger.
  2. Aggressive anger: This type of anger can be explosive and result in verbal or even physical confrontations. Often the most visible type of anger, aggressive anger may be easy to identify but hard to control.
  3. Chronic anger: People with chronic anger often feel angry most of the time. Their constant irritability can affect daily interactions and relationships, leading to long-term consequences such as alienation from friends or family.
  4. Self-directed anger: When individuals are overly critical of themselves, they may turn their anger inward. This can be particularly harmful as it can lead to negative feelings, judgmental self-talk, and even depression.

Recognizing the type of anger you experience can be essential in understanding how to address it.

Mental health conditions and anger disorders

Anger is often linked to underlying mental health conditions. While not every instance of intense anger stems from a disorder, it’s not uncommon for anger issues to coexist with conditions like:

  • Depression: Frustration and irritability are common symptoms, especially in men, who may mask sadness with angry outbursts.
  • Anxiety: Feeling overwhelmed or threatened by life’s uncertainties can lead to heightened emotional responses like anger.
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Individuals with PTSD may have heightened responses to perceived threats, with anger being a frequent companion to their experience.

When anger is tied to mental health disorders, treating both the underlying condition and the anger itself can be key to improvement. Working with a trained mental health professional may ensure that both challenges are addressed comprehensively.

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Identifying signs of anger issues

Recognizing that anger is becoming a problem isn’t always easy. People often justify their behavior or fail to see its long-term consequences. However, there are some signs that can indicate that treatment through anger management counseling might be helpful. The following are just a few:

  • Frequent irritability: If you feel angry more often than not, even over small issues, it could be a sign that your emotional responses are disproportionate.
  • Alienation from loved ones: If family and friends have mentioned your anger issues or have distanced themselves from you because of your behavior, you may benefit from anger counseling.
  • Aggression: Whether it’s verbal or physical, aggression can be a sign of uncontrolled anger. 
  • Revenge fantasies: Nursing grudges and frequently fantasizing about revenge can be strong indicators that anger has become toxic.

If any of these signs resonate, you may benefit from seeking professional help. Left unaddressed, anger problems can escalate and lead to further emotional, relational, and physical harm.

How anger management therapy can help

Anger management therapy aims to offer individuals the tools to . Working with a mental healthcare provider may help you to:

  • Identify triggers: Understanding what sets off your anger is often one of the first steps. It could be certain people, situations, or internal thoughts that spark intense reactions.
  • Develop coping skills: Through therapy, you may learn anger management skills that help you respond differently when faced with anger-provoking situations. These might include breathing exercises, visualization techniques, or cognitive restructuring to shift negative thought patterns.
  • Improve emotional regulation: Therapy often helps individuals control the emotional and physiological arousal that comes with anger. Instead of letting emotions dictate actions, people often learn to pause, reflect, and choose their responses.
  • Repair relationships: For those whose anger has damaged relationships, therapy may provide strategies for rebuilding trust and improving communication with loved ones.

The role of behavioral therapy 

Behavioral therapy tends to play a significant role in anger management. Various approaches can be employed, depending on the individual's needs.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely used forms of therapy. CBT typically helps individuals recognize negative thought patterns that contribute to anger. By learning to challenge these thoughts, people can often change their emotional responses and behavior. For example, instead of jumping to conclusions or magnifying a problem, people undergoing CBT may achieve more balanced and rational thinking.

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) may be particularly useful for those with intense or chronic anger. It typically focuses on emotional regulation, teaching individuals how to manage intense feelings without resorting to harmful behaviors. DBT often emphasizes mindfulness and distress tolerance, helping people stay grounded in the present moment rather than getting swept up in their anger.

Psychodynamic therapy

For some, unresolved past experiences may be the root of their anger. Psychodynamic therapy may help individuals explore the psychological roots of their emotions, providing insights into how early life experiences shape their current behavior. By understanding these underlying patterns, individuals might begin to break the cycle of uncontrolled anger.

Family therapy for anger management

In cases where anger is directed at family members, family therapy can be especially beneficial. This approach aims to help families communicate better and resolve long-standing issues that may contribute to anger. Whether it's between spouses, parents, and children, or siblings, addressing anger within the family unit can lead to healthier relationships and more positive interactions.

How to get started

If you recognize that anger has become a problem, the next step is typically seeking help. Below, we’ll explore ways to find resources that can help you get started on your journey toward managing anger.

Mental health and anger management resources

Researching anger management classes or trying to find a trained mental health professional experienced in treating anger is typically the first step in finding anger management therapy. There are numerous resources available online, including directories for therapists and mental health services:

  • : The APA offers resources for finding licensed mental health professionals who specialize in anger management. The APA’s website provides a directory of therapists.
  • Online anger management classes: Forbes has compiled a list of free online anger management classes. These programs typically cover essential topics like understanding triggers, developing coping strategies, and managing emotional responses.

Many mental health clinics, hospitals, and community centers also offer group therapy sessions where you can learn alongside others who experience similar challenges. This can create a supportive environment and allow you to explore anger management skills in real-world scenarios.

A couple engages in a therapy session with their therapist, seated across from them.
Getty/Nikola Stojadinovic
Don’t let anger control you

The effectiveness of online therapy

With the rise of telehealth services, many people are turning to online therapy for anger management. Research shows that online therapy is effective while also offering added convenience and affordability. Along with scheduling flexibility, many online therapy providers offer a large pool of providers with experience in anger management. 

Takeaway

Anger is a natural emotion, but when it starts to negatively affect your relationships, it may be time to take action. Anger management counseling offers a structured and supportive environment to explore the root causes of your anger and learn healthier ways to cope. Whether through individual therapy, group therapy, or anger management classes, there’s help available to guide you toward a calmer, more balanced life. Take the first step toward getting support with anger management and reach out to BetterHelp today.

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