What Is The Best Anger Management Strategy?

Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox, NCC, LPC
Updated October 10, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Content Warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include abuse which could be triggering to the reader. If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Free support is available 24/7. Please also see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

Anger is a natural and healthy emotion. However, for some, it’s common to wake up angry and feel that way throughout the day or to get flooded by angry feelings when they least expect it. For those experiencing unwanted anger or anger that impacts daily functioning, it may be helpful to look through anger management tips to help individuals learn to control their anger and live more fulfilling lives. 

Nearly one in 13 Americans has had trouble controlling their anger, leading to challenges functioning in professional, educational, and social environments. Understanding which anger management strategy is best for you may help you determine what is causing your anger and identify effective ways to move forward.

This article explores the topics of anger, including potential anger “problems” people might experience, anger control strategies that can help, and how to control anger before it controls you with the assistance of a mental health professional. 

Effectively managing your anger is possible with the right tools

About anger 

Anger is a natural and often healthy emotion that can serve as a powerful force for change when managed properly. However, unchecked anger can lead to significant health issues and interpersonal problems. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), chronic anger can have severe impacts on both mental and physical health.

One of the most direct effects of unmanaged anger is an increase in blood pressure as a result of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, and it can lead to other long-term cardiovascular issues, including heart disease and stroke. Anger issues can also contribute to substance use (formerly substance “abuse”) and other coping mechanisms that individuals may use in an attempt to self-medicate. 

What can help?

There are many anger management strategies that might help with anger issues. For example, guided meditations and progressive muscle relaxation can ease stress. Regular physical activity can also act as a healthy outlet for anger and other pent-up emotions. 

For those with severe anger issues, availing of professional health services is often beneficial. Therapists and counselors can provide strategies and tools for managing anger effectively. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one approach that has been shown to help individuals identify the triggers of their anger, develop healthier responses, and reduce the frequency and intensity of angry outbursts.

Can mental illness cause difficulties managing anger? 

Several mental illnesses may be associated with irritability, rage, or anger as a symptom. Although no “anger disorder” category exists in the DSM-5, those with these conditions might be prone to anger. Note that mental illness or a lack of mental illness doesn’t determine whether someone struggles with anger. People from any background can experience functional difficulties due to their emotional responses and behavior. Below are a few mental illnesses that may be associated with heightened amounts of anger. 

Adjustment disorder 

Adjustment disorder, also called situational depression, is often characterized by anxiety, reckless behavior, and difficulty moving forward after a transition. For example, someone with this condition who wakes up late, misses the bus, or experiences a setback might react by screaming, yelling, throwing objects, or refusing to continue daily activities.

Note that these behaviors can also be present in autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Some autistic people struggle with transition and may not understand the reason for the transition or the reason they feel distressed. Offering accommodations may help these individuals move forward healthily. 

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) 

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health condition and form of neurodivergence. For some children and adults, hyperactivity symptoms or sensory overload associated with ADHD may cause outbursts of anger. Accommodations, support, and proper diagnosis can be essential in reducing these emotional outbursts.

Bipolar disorder 

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder characterized by periods of depression followed by mania or hypomania. Someone with bipolar disorder can be more energetic and happier while experiencing an elevated mood for weeks to months. They may then experience extreme depression for the same or a more extended period. Both types of episodes can be accompanied by anger. Mania is also often associated with extreme irritability, delusions of grandeur, and psychosis. 

Conduct disorder 

Conduct disorder is a behavioral and emotional condition diagnosed in children. Some signs of conduct disorder include socially unacceptable behavior, intense anger or aggression, breaking the law, having little empathy for others, and a general disregard for consequences. In adulthood, individuals may be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), which has similar symptoms. 

Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) 

Explosive outbursts of aggression and anger characterize intermittent explosive disorder (IED). It is often accompanied by disruptive acts such as throwing objects, screaming, kicking, and physically assaulting others. Those who have experienced IED may notice that the anger seems to come out of nowhere and can be challenging to contain.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) 

Narcissistic personality disorder is marked by a lack of empathy for other people, arrogance, manipulative behaviors, a sense of entitlement, and an egocentric personality. NPD can make it difficult for individuals with the condition to get along with others long-term. They might see others as a means to an end and become angry or rageful when their plans fail. 

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) 

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a cluster B personality disorder, like NPD. It has been associated with splitting behaviors, which involve idealizing a person one moment and “splitting” on them the next, becoming rageful, hateful, or disgusted by the individual. These splitting periods can be quick and may be followed by apologies and an attempt to repair, with fear of losing the individual they love. 

What causes these mental health conditions? 

Each mental health condition may have its own criteria and causes. For some, a mental health condition is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. For others, genetics may play a part. If you have a parent or other relative with a mental illness, you may be more likely to have the same. Your family dynamics and environment can also be a cause of mental illness. If you grow up in a household with physical abuse or substance misuse, the chances of an anger management challenge could be higher.

Anger management exercises

If you or a loved one is experiencing anger management difficulties, it can be beneficial to receive professional help. However, you can also practice a few anger management exercises at home to get started.  

Relaxation 

Relaxation may include deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Alternatively, listening to soothing music while resting your muscles can offer a sense of relaxation. It may be difficult to relax when you are angry, so practicing these skills daily or a few times a week can get them ingrained in your schedule and might prevent anger from occurring in the first place. When you’re angry, using an app to help you focus your breath can help you calm down. 

Cognitive restructuring 

Cognitive restructuring is a technique often practiced in therapy. It involves changing the way you think and replacing your angry thoughts with more positive ones. Studies have shown that exercises like cognitive restructuring are among the most effective in managing anger.

Problem-solving 

Problem-solving is a way to channel your frustration by putting your focus on solving the problem. Understanding how you’re feeling and identifying cognitive distortions (maladaptive thought patterns) can be beneficial. To problem solve, look at the situation from the lens of an outsider. Then, come up with three ways you might be able to meet your goals. 

Communication exercises 

Communication exercises may be helpful, including thinking about what you will say before you say it and waiting to calm down before you talk. If you struggle to let people know how you’re feeling, you can give others a code word you can say whenever you need space and don’t want them to ask questions. For example, you might say “orange” as a cue to your spouse that you will spend ten minutes alone to calm down. 

Changing your environment 

If you notice you might be prone to becoming angry, consider changing your environment before you do. Recognizing your anger and getting away from what is causing it may instantly defuse the situation. If you’re in an environment you cannot leave, you can try meditation to enter a safe space in your mind. Guided meditations with unique scenarios are also available online. 

Laughing 

Laughing may sometimes defuse your anger. Finding humor in the situation and laughing about it can cause a rush of positive neurotransmitters in the brain, which can improve mental well-being. Find a way to make a light-hearted joke with those around you, or consider watching videos that make you laugh. 

Taking a walk

Taking a walk may relieve your frustration. Walking has been proven to release endorphins to help you build your mood. Any exercise can offer this benefit, but walking may be a more manageable way to start an exercise routine, as it is often low-impact. 

Effectively managing your anger is possible with the right tools

Exercising 

You can try other forms of exercise if you don’t enjoy walking or cannot safely do so. Whether you are into lifting weights, swimming, dancing, doing aerobics, or participating in another activity, you may be able to reduce stress, limiting cortisol and adrenaline in your body. These chemicals can contribute to anger, so a reduction can reduce your chances of feeling angry.  

Attending anger management classes 

Anger management classes offer a way to explore your emotions safely. Talking to a group of people with the same or similar issues may help you feel less alone and receive peer support. Whether you participate in an online or in-person anger management group, you can learn new skills and support newcomers to the group as you build your understanding of anger management. 

Medication 

Medication for anger may be an option if it is severe and has created situations in your life that make it difficult to function. For example, your doctor might recommend medication if you’ve had trouble keeping a job, maintaining a relationship, or reducing physical altercations because of your anger. If you are living with a genetic mental illness, medication may correct a chemical imbalance. 

Note that this information is not a replacement for professional medical advice. Seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers before starting, changing, or stopping a medication or medical treatment. 

Inpatient treatment 

Inpatient treatment might be possible if you experience severe anger or aggression that has impacted several areas of your life. If your anger is seriously affecting your life by hurting your job prospects, creating problems in school, ending relationships, or leading to legal trouble, inpatient treatment can offer a way to concentrate on getting better without outside factors impacting your mood. 

Counseling 

Hundreds of studies have found that therapy can effectively treat anger challenges, showcasing that 75% of participants can find remission from symptoms. Popular forms of anger-related therapy use cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT), which teaches individuals how to identify and reframe maladaptive thought patterns. Stress inoculation is another form of CBT involving imaginary anger-provoking scenarios to learn how to respond and cope with anger. 

Some people may face barriers to treatment that can cause further stress, such as lack of transportation, financial insecurity, or difficulty finding available therapists. In these cases, you might find that an online platform like BetterHelp reduces the stress of finding a provider. BetterHelp allows you to sign up for valuable support and helpful resources that can help you manage anger from home. With online therapy, you can work with a mental health professional via voice or video call, live chat, or messaging. 

Studies have also backed up the impact of online therapy on anger. One study found that an internet-based platform could reduce outward anger expression, aggression, and rumination in clients. These results can be promising for those who aren’t sure how to cope with their anger independently or can’t reach in-person therapy. 

Takeaway

Although anger is a natural emotion, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to respond to this emotion. Working with a therapist may help you understand what incites your anger and learn to react to it healthily. Consider contacting a licensed provider to learn more about professional anger management.
Learn to separate anger from behavior
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