Why Anger Management Skills Are Important For Emotional Health

Many people experience a sense of anger boiling over during stressful or tense situations. Managing that anger appropriately can be important for many reasons, from keeping up healthy relationships to maintaining professionalism at work. In addition, learning to keep anger under control can help you with daily functioning and mental health as well. See below to learn more about anger issues and how to address them.

Common signs of anger issues

Anger problems can show up in different ways, affecting both your behavior and your emotional health. Recognizing these signs early may help you seek the appropriate support to manage your anger and improve your relationships. Here are a few common indicators that you may be experiencing trouble with anger management and expression.

Irritability

Irritability is a common sign of anger problems. If you’re irritable often, you might have a short fuse and get annoyed quickly by even small inconveniences. You may also frequently feel frustrated or impatient. This ongoing irritation can strain your relationships and cause you chronic stress.

Frequent outbursts

Frequent outbursts are another common sign of anger problems. These outbursts can include behaviors like shouting, aggression, arguing, slamming doors, or storming off. This kind of behavior can push friends and family away, put your job at risk, and create an uncomfortable environment.

Physical aggression

Physical aggression like hitting, kicking, or breaking things can be a serious sign of anger problems. When anger becomes overwhelming, you might resort to physical actions to express your frustration. This behavior is dangerous and may lead to physical harm or legal issues, so it’s typically paramount to address it as soon as possible.

Sarcasm or cynicism

Sarcasm and cynicism often indicate deeper anger problems. If you frequently use sarcasm rooted in anger, you might make hurtful comments or have a negative attitude. This kind of communication can be unpleasant and even hurtful to others. While they tend to be less serious than physical aggression, sarcasm and cynicism can still greatly affect your relationships and may indicate the need to address an underlying anger problem.

Passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior can be a less direct sign of a potential anger problem. For example, you might give someone the silent treatment, make hurtful comments indirectly, or intentionally put things off. People might choose this approach to avoid confrontation, but it often results in misunderstandings and unresolved problems. 

Potential root causes of anger 

Everyone gets angry from time to time, but what causes this emotion can be different for each person. Anger often comes from specific events or situations. Common causes include:

• Stress: Busy schedules, exams, and tight deadlines may cause high levels of stress, which may lead to anger.
• Unresolved emotions: Bottling up sadness or guilt can sometimes later explode as anger.
• Past experiences: Traumatic situations in your past like being bullied or abused can sometimes lead to anger problems later on if the emotions from these experiences are not addressed.
• Mental health challenges: Conditions like depression or anxiety may contribute to irritability and angry feelings.
• Family factors: Some people might be more likely to feel angry because of inherited personality traits or the way anger was commonly dealt with in their household growing up.
• Environmental influences: Being in a tense or confrontational environment may make someone more likely to get angry.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

A combination of these factors may also lead to increased anger. Identifying the root causes of your own anger may help you manage it more effectively. 

Anger and mental health

Your mental health can affect how you manage anger and vice versa. If you're living with mental health conditions, you might find it harder to control your emotions, including anger. Plus, when you're angry for any reason, it can cloud your judgment and lead to poor decisions, which may affect your mental health later on.

Certain mental health conditions can exacerbate anger, such as:

• Depression
• Anxiety disorders
• Substance use disorders
• Bipolar disorder
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Personality disorders

If you’re facing these challenges, it can be important to seek help. Therapy can teach you new ways to cope with both mental health conditions and anger. 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

The importance of managing anger problems

Building anger management skills to address your anger appropriately can be key to maintaining healthy relationships and overall well-being. Unmanaged anger may lead to impulsive actions and damage your connections with others. Other potential consequences can include:

• Physical health problems: Constant anger may lead to headaches, high blood pressure, and other health problems.
• Mental stress: Being angry all the time may make you feel stressed, anxious, or sad.
• Work challenges: Losing your temper at work can cause problems with your boss or colleagues and might even get you fired.
• Legal trouble: Expressing anger in an unhealthy way can sometimes lead to actions that get you in trouble with the law, such as threats, fights, or property damage.
• Reduced happiness: Always being angry can make it hard to find joy and relaxation in life.

The impact of anger issues on relationships

Not managing anger properly can significantly hurt your relationships. It can create a negative environment where communication breaks down, making it harder to solve problems peacefully. 

If you often express your anger by yelling or acting aggressively, you might make others feel scared or resentful. Over time, this behavior can damage trust. Friends, family members, and partners might start to avoid you to protect themselves, which may cause isolation and loneliness.

Core skills for anger management

Building certain key skills may help you manage your anger more effectively. These include becoming more aware of your feelings, learning how to control and regulate your emotions, and managing stress effectively. 

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is all about recognizing your own emotions and being able to figure out why you may be feeling a certain way. For example, coming to understand what triggers your anger may help you avoid those situations or better prepare for them. Keeping a journal to reflect on instances when you feel angry can be helpful to this end. In the moment, it may also be helpful to pay attention to physical signs that could indicate anger is building in you, like a fast heartbeat or clenched fists.

Finally, you could also take some time each day to check in on how you’re feeling. Notice any bodily sensations related to emotion and ask yourself what you are feeling and why. These practices may help you understand your emotions better. By being more aware, you may be able to catch your anger early and take steps to calm down.

Emotional regulation

Emotional regulation involves controlling your emotions instead of letting them control you. This practice may include techniques like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation.

When you sense anger escalating, for example, you might breathe deeply through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth. Doing so may help slow your heart rate and create a sense of calm. You might also try repeating a calm word or phrase like "relax" or "let it go" while breathing deeply. Practicing these techniques regularly may make it easier to regulate your emotions during stressful situations.

Communication skills

Having strong communication skills can help reduce misunderstandings and conflicts, which can help prevent anger. Try using "I" statements to express how you feel without blaming others. For example, instead of saying, "You are always late and it makes me angry," you could say, "I feel upset when you don’t arrive on time and our plans get delayed." 

It may also be helpful to practice active listening. This means fully focusing on the other person without interrupting them. You can also repeat back what you’ve heard to make sure you understand their point of view.

Problem-solving

Sometimes, anger comes from the stress of problems that need solving. Instead of focusing on the emotions, it might help to focus on finding a solution. Break the problem down into smaller steps and tackle them one at a time. List possible solutions and weigh the pros and cons of each. Then, you can choose a solution and put it into action. Afterward, take some time to review how well it worked to adjust your approach if needed. Using problem-solving skills may help reduce the sense of helplessness and lower your stress levels.

Stress management

Managing stress is key to controlling your anger. To do this, you might try to include relaxation techniques in your daily routine, such as deep breathing, yoga, or listening to calming music. Exercise may also be a way to reduce stress and anger. 

Consider activities like walking, dancing, sports, or even gardening. These physical activities may help boost your mood and calm you down. Finding what helps you relax may make it easier for you to manage stress and control your anger.

Support for tackling common anger problems

If you find that daily events affect your ability to manage your anger, you can find support in different ways. You can reach out to mental health professionals, join anger management support groups, or look into other helpful resources that may fit your needs.

Mental health professionals

Licensed mental health professionals such as therapists or counselors can provide you with personalized strategies to manage your anger. They can help you understand what causes your anger and show you healthier ways to express it. 

One common therapy method is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on noticing and shifting negative thoughts that lead to anger. Some therapists also use techniques like mindfulness or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help you better control your emotions.

Anger management support groups

Anger management support groups offer a helpful community for people living with anger problems. In these groups, participants can share their experiences and learn coping strategies from one another. 

These groups are usually led by a trained facilitator who guides discussions and activities. They can offer a way to build social support and help you realize that you are not alone in working through these challenges.

Other resources for anger problems

Apart from professional help and support groups, other resources may also help you tackle anger problems. Books, workbooks, and articles on anger management strategies can provide practical tips for everyday situations. Many of these focus on relaxation techniques, such as deep-breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation. Online courses and apps—such as meditation apps—may also offer guided programs to help you control anger. 

Online therapy for anger problems

If you’re looking to get professional support for anger management but don’t have the time to commute to and from in-person therapy appointments, you might consider online therapy instead. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp offer a flexible and convenient way to receive support from a licensed mental health professional from anywhere you have an internet connection. Online sessions can be more affordable than traditional in-office sessions, which can make long-term care more financially sustainable.

Is online therapy effective for addressing mental health challenges?

Studies suggest that online therapy can be effective for addressing mental health challenges, including anger. For example, in one study, 234 people with anger problems tried one of three online treatments to help manage their anger. The most effective treatment combined mindful emotion awareness and cognitive reappraisal, which reduced anger and aggression more than the other methods. Those who started with high levels of anger saw a nearly 50% improvement in managing their anger with this combined virtual approach.

Takeaway

Uncontrolled anger can harm your relationships and overall health. Learning how to control your anger with techniques like self-awareness, managing your emotions, and communicating better may help you handle intense feelings and prevent outbursts. Whether through online therapy, support groups, or other resources, help is available to guide you toward more constructive ways of managing your anger.