Icebreaker Questions To Ask Someone You Just Met

Humans are social creatures, and research even suggests that social connectedness is linked to overall health and well-being. However, striking up a conversation with someone new or casual acquaintances to form or deepen social connections can be challenging for some. Nervousness or shyness may make it difficult to come up with questions or topics, which can make it harder to build rapport with someone you just met. Symptoms of social anxiety disorder may also play a role in individuals living with this condition. 

Here, we’ll have a list of personal questions that you can use as icebreakers when getting to know someone you just met. We’ll also cover the difference between nervousness when meeting someone new and a clinical anxiety disorder related to social interactions to help you understand when it may be time to seek support. 

Navigating social interactions with people you just met

If you’re feeling nervous about meeting someone new, you’re not alone. It’s common to worry that you’ll run out of questions to ask or that you’ll feel awkward. While some uneasiness is normal when getting to know new people, a few tips may help you feel more at ease in the process.

• Remind yourself that social nervousness is common. Feeling nervous in social situations is very common; no one wants to experience awkward silences or feel rejected by someone they just met. Remembering that the person you’re talking to likely also feels or has felt the shyness or apprehension that you’re experiencing might help you feel less alone and more connected.
• Name your nervousness. In some cases, it can help take the pressure off if you name the nervousness you’re feeling to the other person. They might say that they feel the same, or they might take the lead in steering the conversation to help you feel more at ease. Plus, you may then be able to focus less on hiding your fears and be more present in the conversation.
• Practice self-compassion. Per a 2023 study, “Self-compassion refers to being supportive toward oneself when experiencing suffering or pain—be it caused by personal mistakes and inadequacies or external life challenges.” Using it to be less hard on yourself for mistakes or awkwardness in social interactions may help you maintain or build confidence and avoid self-isolating or negative self-talk when an interaction doesn't go perfectly.
• Engage in active listening. Active listening involves being fully present while another person is speaking and aiming to understand their true message. It also includes supportive body language, such as eye contact and nodding, and asking questions for clarification as needed. These practices may help you build rapport with someone new.
• Practice. Remember, social skills are just that—skills, which can improve with practice over time. The more you work on them, the better they’re likely to get.

Icebreaker questions to ask someone you just met

Starting a conversation or keeping it going can be the hardest part of social interaction for some people, which is where icebreaker questions can come in handy. In general, the best icebreaker questions are respectful, appropriate to the situation and your relationship with the person, and open-ended. They don’t necessarily have to be straightforward questions either; unusual, casual, and deep questions alike all have the potential to help you connect with someone new.

Some examples of questions to ask someone you just met that you might consider using to break the ice include the following, divided into thematic categories. We’ve listed questions to ask someone you just met that relate to personality, family, hobbies—even what fictional characters they like best or dream vacations they’d want to take. Remember that even these somewhat “odd questions” can be effective conversation starters as long as they’re respectful and appropriate.

Questions to ask: Personality and favorite things

• What’s your favorite midnight snack?
• If you could only eat one type of cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• How did you celebrate your last birthday, or what has been your favorite birthday so far?
• What do you like best about yourself?
• What’s something that makes you feel joy?
• What’s something you’re grateful for?
• What’s one of the most valuable life lessons you’ve learned so far?
• What personality traits do you appreciate most in another person?
• How do you think all your coworkers or friends would describe you?

Questions to ask: Family members and memories

• Do you have any siblings?
• Do you have any pets, or did you have any growing up?
• Which family member or friend are you closest to?
• What’s your favorite memory from the past year?
• What’s the craziest thing you did as a teenager?
• What’s your favorite story about yourself from childhood?
• What did you do for fun as a little kid?
• What’s your favorite family memory?
• What’s the best vacation you’ve taken? 
• Do you know any stories about your family tree or family history?
• What’s your favorite family tradition, or one you’d like to start?

Questions to ask someone about hobbies, music, and media

• What do you like to do for fun?
• Do you prefer watching sports or playing sports?
• Do you prefer getting out on the dance floor or sitting back and enjoying the music?
• What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
• What’s the last show you binge-watched, or what show are you currently watching?
• What’s the genre or theme of your most niche Spotify playlist?
• What’s your go-to karaoke song?
• Is there a particular line from a song or movie or a quote that has stuck with you?
• What’s an interesting movie you’ve watched in the past year?

Questions about superpowers, dream vacations, and favorite characters

• What’s one interesting place in the world you’d love to visit or explore?
• If you had to be on a reality TV show, which one would you pick?
• Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible? Why? 
• If you could be friends with a fictional character, who would it be and why?
• Do you have a “bucket list”? If so, what’s an item on it?

As you go through this list of questions, you may also find it helpful to determine your own answer to each one. This may give you an easier, most naturally flowing response to reference in the case that the question is returned to you. Also remember that a friend or family member makes a great stand-in for someone you just met. In other words, you might first ask these questions of people you already know well and feel comfortable around to build your confidence.

An article published by the National Institute of Mental Health defines it as “an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.” This intense fear can lead to avoidance of certain or all social situations altogether as well as physical symptoms when faced with social situations, such as trembling, sweating, rapid heartbeat, fainting, and nausea. A person with social anxiety disorder may also experience symptoms like:

• Hyper-analyzing every detail of a social interaction—particularly their own performance—after the fact
• Fear of other people noticing that they look or seem anxious in social settings
• Expecting social interactions to always go poorly

If your fears and anxieties around social interactions are persistent, debilitating, and negatively interfere with your daily life, school, work, relationships, or general well-being, it could be social anxiety disorder. Treatment for social anxiety disorder is available, and seeking it is recommended for those experiencing symptoms. Treatment typically involves some form of talk therapy, sometimes in combination with medication. A mental health professional will typically also teach an individual with this disorder some relaxation techniques and other coping mechanisms that may help them manage symptoms.

Support for nervousness or social anxiety disorder 

Seeking the support of a mental health professional can be a valuable next step, whether you’re experiencing nonclinical nervousness related to social interactions or suspect you may have social anxiety disorder. They can help you reframe your thoughts about social interactions, build your self-esteem and social skills, learn relaxation techniques, and address symptoms of an anxiety disorder, if applicable.

That said, traveling to a therapist’s office and meeting with a provider in person can be anxiety-producing for some—particularly those with a diagnosable anxiety disorder. In this type of situation, online therapy can be a more comfortable and convenient option. Through a platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist with experience treating anxiety disorders and then meet with them via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from the comfort of home. 

Evidence suggests that online therapy may be effective in supporting those with an anxiety disorder. For example, the National Center for Health Research cites a meta-analysis in which 20 studies on the topic were gathered and reviewed. In them, over 1,400 test subjects experienced positive life effects from online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety disorders.