How To Interpret Men’s Body Language
While many nonverbal cues can be interpreted the same way regardless of gender, men often stand, gesture, and use their eyes in specific ways. A man’s body language can provide additional insights into his attitude and feelings that may not be conveyed by his words. Below, we’re going to discuss several of these nonverbal cues and how you can read them.
What are examples of male body language?
Body language includes any purposeful or reflexive movement of the body used to communicate a message or emotion to the outside world. Body language can be conscious—like reaching our hand out to introduce ourselves—or unconscious, as when we react to a bee sting. Studies have found that males across cultures utilize many of the same mannerisms, gestures, and postures when interacting with others. Continue reading to learn more about how to interpret male body language.
Stance
The pose that men adopt when they stand can say a lot about their attitude and emotions in a particular situation. A man who is nervous or fearful might subconsciously take on a slouched or defensive stance, while a man who is attempting to embody confidence may broaden his shoulders and raise his head.
The stance men take during conversations may largely be a reflexive movement. However, some men consciously use this type of body language to convey information about themselves. When a man stands with their shoulders squared off, hips facing forward, and hands down at their sides, that is considered a dominant stance. A dominant stance can be a purposeful or unintentional display of confidence. It is often used when a man is attracted to another person. It is also frequently used to project superiority in business settings.
Men often take a more defensive stance when they feel threatened, worried, or fearful. A man in this stance may keep his arms close to his body, his shoulders hunched, and his feet turned away from the person with whom he’s communicating.
Male hand gestures
Men frequently employ subtle hand gestures to deliver an intended message. While these motions may be used intentionally to get a point across, the position of the palms during hand gestures and other signals can sometimes show the real attitude or emotion of a man who is speaking.
- Open palms tend to display sincerity, trust, and openness. A man may be trying to indicate that he is trustworthy or non-threatening. The open-handed wave employed by politicians and celebrities is one example of how this body language is used on a routine basis.
- Hiding the palms by facing them inward or closing the hands into a fist can convey aggressiveness or defensiveness. A man with a closed hand may be experiencing anger, stress, or similar feelings.
- Touching the face can be interpreted many ways. While face touching was once considered a cue that someone was being dishonest, it is no longer thought to be a reliable indicator of deception. Some men touch their faces when they are deep in thought. A man may also touch his face in potential high-anxiety situations, such as job interviews or first dates.
Fidgeting
Men have trouble sitting still for a variety of reasons. Fidgeting may be a sign that a man is bored. It can also signal that he is nervous—restlessness is a common symptom of anxiety and chronic stress. Fidgeting in men can manifest as foot tapping, fingernail biting, or shifting in one’s seat.
Handshakes
Handshakes are a common form of greeting for people of all genders, but particularly men. Many men want their handshake to convey confidence. They may also use someone’s handshake to appraise their character or abilities. The following are ways a man may communicate through various types of handshakes.
- Dominant Handshake: A hand that is turned palm down while being offered for a shake can be a sign of confidence. A dominant handshake may also be firm and accompanied by eye contact. Some men use a dominant handshake to try to display power or authority.
- Submissive Handshake: Offering the hand with palm turned upward can signal openness and trust. A man offering his hand palm upturned may also feel intimidated by the person they are shaking hands with, or they may be subordinate to the individual in some way (in a boss/employee relationship, for example). This handshake can also put people at ease if they appear to be intimidated by you.
- Two-Handed Shake: Here, one hand comes up to grip the inside of the other person's shaking hand and the other clasps or pats the outside of the same hand. Using this handshake typically shows that a man feels comfortable with the other person.
Eye contact
The eyes can convey a great deal of information not expressed through words. Men frequently communicate through their gaze, both purposefully and involuntarily. For example, while a few blinks only at random are likely just normal eye movements, if blinking is rapid, that could indicate a sign of stress. A man who is rapidly blinking may be agitated, worried or nervous. Blinking that is slow and deliberate, however, may be a sign of boredom or tiredness.
A naturally focused gaze, particularly on the lower half of the face the man is talking to, is a sign that they are paying attention to what is being said. Meeting another person’s gaze can also be a sign of interest—eye contact often signals attraction. There is even evidence that eye contact can indicate whether a man is experiencing love or lust.
Other examples of body language
Some other body language and gestures might indicate an overall mood. Keep in mind that many people are aware of these body language movements and can purposely employ them. For example, someone who is self-conscious could appear domineering simply by changing their body language.
- Crossed arms: When a man crosses his arms, it could indicate defensiveness. Men often cross their arms when they feel intimidated or argumentative. Crossed arms may also indicate disinterest.
- Lowered head: Hanging one’s head is a common sign of low mood. When a man lowers his head while talking to others, it may mean that he feels sad or fearful. A lowered head could also be an indication of remorse or guilt, particularly if the man is being reprimanded by an authority figure.
- Reduced personal space: Reducing personal space is a sign that a man may be intimidated. A man who is intimidated or submissive to the other person will consciously or unconsciously pull their body in closer to them to take up as little space as possible. Taking a more open stance exudes confidence and can make you feel more confident.
- Turning to one side: Shifting the body to the side slightly can be a sign of aggression. It is an open stance with the side of the body facing the other person, even if only slightly. When someone stands in this way, it generally means that they are bracing themselves for an argument or a physical fight, or they are in the midst of an argument, and they are trying to regain control of the situation.
Healthy communication through online therapy
Reading body language can be a useful skill, potentially helping you in social settings, the workplace, and at home. If you find that you struggle understanding nonverbal cues, therapy can help. Working with a licensed therapist, you can learn about common forms of body language and find out how you can both utilize and interpret them. For someone who is looking to talk through challenges regarding communication, online therapy may be a more comfortable environment than in-person therapy.
Studies show that online therapy can help individuals conveniently work through symptoms of mental health conditions while also learning to communicate in healthy ways. In a study on the effects of online therapy for anxiety, researchers found that treatment led to reductions in both anxiety symptoms and negative expressions of emotion.
Online therapy can be a convenient and flexible way of honing your communication skills and addressing other mental health challenges. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can talk with a therapist in the manner that you prefer, through video call, voice call, or in-app messaging. The ability to message your therapist anytime allows you to ask questions you may have forgotten during therapy or work on your communication skills outside of sessions.
Takeaway
What is the sitting etiquette for men?
Because male sitting body language is often different than women's, and sitting etiquette changes relative to culture and circumstance, it's essential to consider the context when determining the best sitting etiquette.
For example, it may be appropriate for a man to slump back in the chair with his foot up when relaxing at a friend's house, but it wouldn't go over well in a job interview. The key is to show confidence, self-esteem, and approachability.
Sitting straight with your feet flat on the floor is best if you're in an auditorium, subway, or another location where you must mind another person's space. In more formal occasions, such as a job interview, the same posture is acceptable, as is sitting in a four-figure leg cross with the ankle resting on the opposite knee.
There is debate over whether the leg-over-leg cross at the knee is appropriate, but if you can read the room and see that your interviewer is sitting this way, it's probably fine. It's also a common way for many European men to sit.
If you do prefer to sit cross-legged in any style, keep in mind that in many Asian and Middle Eastern countries, exposing the bottom of the shoe is considered rude. If you're unsure, it's best to sit straight with both feet on the floor while displaying open body language.
Finally, consider comfort. If you'll be sitting in the same position for a long time, take some deep breaths, find the position you find most comfortable with, and stick with it. If you need to shift, do so as fluidly as possible without jostling the chair.
What body language shows a man is attracted to you?
Although some maintain that men typically show more aggressive, dominant body language, that may not be true for every man. Body language signs of attraction are often similar for women or any other gender, so first consider the type of body language (voluntary or involuntary movements) you exhibit when flirting with someone. If they seem to be showing some of the same language, it's a good indication they may be interested. Some examples of male body language signs of attraction might include:
- Leaning in or closing the space (comfortably) between you as you talk.
- Genuine smiling. You'll know it's real if it's accompanied by raised eyebrows, "crow's feet," or is visible in the eyes.
- Light touching on the arm or shoulder.
- Lingering eye contact, dilated pupils.
- Flared nostrils.
- "Preening" or grooming the hair or clothing.
- Mirroring your facial expressions or gestures.
- He displays open body language, like standing with his arms uncrossed and his body facing you.
It's prudent to consider that context is key when reading body language. Cultural differences, circumstantial conditions, and personality all play a role in how individuals show attraction through body language.
What does sitting mean in body language?
If an individual sits up straight, it may indicate they are more alert and paying attention. Sitting slumped or hunched forward may imply indifference. Individuals may show they're anxious or unfriendly if they sit in a "closed" position with their arms and legs crossed.
If the posture is spacious and the person takes up a lot of space, it can signal confidence. Finally, if the individual hides or sits on the hands, it may indicate anxiety or mistrust.
What is a man's body language when he is nervous?
Again, men's nervous body language is similar to that of anyone else. There are many signs that indicate if a man is nervous. He may:
- Drum the knees, tap the fingers, and make fidgety hand movements.
- Bite the lips or repeatedly touch/cover the mouth. (Unless the person is concealing a yawn.)
- Avoid eye contact. Rapid blinking may be a sign of nervousness, too.
- Exhibit "defensive" postures like crossing the arms or legs.
- Pick at clothes/repeatedly touch the face.
- Perspire excessively, particularly on the forehead and upper lip.
How do men sit when they are attracted to you?
If he's attracted to you, a man may lean in and tilt his body in your direction. He'll likely keep an open posture with the arms and legs uncrossed. If he does sit in a crossed-legged position, it'll probably be in a more comfortable, four-figure leg cross.
What is the inappropriate sitting position?
An open posture is best for conveying warmth and confidence in social or professional scenarios. Sitting straight with the feet planted on the floor (knees apart as comfortably as possible without appearing rude or taking up too much space), sitting straight with the legs in a four-figure cross, or sitting straight with the legs crossed knee-over-knee is appropriate (in most cultures).
Closed sitting positions with arms and legs crossed, hunched shoulders, or slumping are not appropriate and can communicate nervousness, mistrust, or even anger. Also, depending on the circumstances, sitting back in the chair with legs apart might be considered too casual and, in some cases, may appear arrogant.
How do you tell if a man is attracted to you but hiding it with his body language?
Male body language styles might manifest unconsciously in every body part, some more so than others. For example, sustained eye contact and dilated pupils may unconsciously reveal attraction. Subconscious grooming and running his hand through his hair might be another sign. Some men will also mirror your body language without realizing it or lean into your space when you talk.
If a man is attracted but trying to hide it, his body language may also come off as a little nervous. Fidgeting is typical, as is light perspiration on the upper lip or forehead.
How can you tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly?
Even if you've paid close attention, understanding male body language can be difficult, particularly if you're trying to tell if he's interested in being more than just friends. There are some ways you might be able to interpret his intentions through your verbal and physical interactions:
- He wants to know about your life and the things that are most important to you.
- In addition to topics like interests, hobbies, and career/school— he may focus on topics that make him appear to be a good potential mate. For example, how he treats a partner, where he likes to take a date, and what you look for in a man.
- He is friendly with open body language when he greets you, but in a more composed way to make you feel comfortable.
- He makes jokes or tells stories in search of a positive reaction from you, not just anecdotally.
- He'll exhibit more intimate body language, like lessening the personal space between you and leaning in while you speak.
- He may go out of his way to laugh at your jokes or remember specific details about things you've told him (especially if they pertain to your life).
- He'll make it a point to hold your gaze (in most cultures— some Asian and Middle Eastern cultures may find it rude), maintaining eye contact throughout your conversation.
Is sitting close to someone flirting?
Sitting close to someone does not necessarily indicate flirting; it depends on context and cultural cues. When someone lessens the space between you as you talk, it may seem flirty to us— but in some cultures, less personal space is the norm. Likewise, some cultures prefer more personal space and feel uncomfortable sitting close to someone else, even if they're flirting with that person.
It's up to you to determine if someone is flirting with you when they sit closer. Alone, it isn't likely to indicate one way or the other, but when considered as part of a cluster of body language behaviors, it can be telling.
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