What Is Nonverbal Communication And Why Is It Important?
Body language is often considered when communicating with another person. However, people may not discuss how nonverbal communication works, as it might feel like second nature. You may have heard that only 7% of communication is verbal. While this “rule” has largely been disproven, nonverbal communication skills are often essential to social connection and understanding. Additionally, some communities, such as the deaf or hard-of-hearing community, tend to use nonverbal communication types more often than others do.
Nonverbal cues tend to go beyond tone of voice and include facial expressions, hand gestures, and eye contact, which can play a significant role in interpersonal relationships and help convey information without words. Understanding your subconscious nonverbal behaviors may offer insight into how others view you. When used intentionally, reading body language, facial expressions, and other nonverbal signals can be valuable and rewarding tools for improving communication skills and learning how to convey information effectively in various cultural contexts, including Western cultures.
What is nonverbal communication?
Posture
How you hold your body, sit, lie down, or stand may communicate meaning to other people. For example, if you are interested in a conversation, you may lean in toward the person talking. Reclining back in a chair or crossing your legs might show you are comfortable and relaxed. If you are fidgeting and restless, it could indicate negative emotions such as nervousness, impatience, or difficulty sitting still.
Nonverbal communication examples like aggressive posture might include standing close to another person, invading their personal space without consent, rapid arm movements when angry, or walking hurriedly toward another person with an angry expression. Your person's body language might also communicate attraction, sadness, or illness. For example, you might hunch over or lower your head when you are ill, conveying physical characteristics associated with other negative emotions. Understanding these types of nonverbal communication can help enhance our interactions with others and effectively convey our feelings within the context of physical space.
Eye contact
In some cases, eye contact may be perceived as a non verbal communication indicator. For example, if you are actively listening to someone, you might make eye contact to signal you’re paying attention. On the other hand, holding eye contact for an extended period might make someone feel uncomfortable.
Some individuals struggle with eye contact, such as those on the autism spectrum. However, studies on adults with autism show that when an autistic person makes eye contact, the processing centers of their brain deactivate, indicating that eye contact may not signify listening skills for everyone. Autistic adults and children may listen better and feel more comfortable not making eye contact. This demonstrates the importance of understanding both verbal communication and nonverbal communications in various contexts, as people may express their engagement and understanding differently beyond spoken words.
Facial expressions
There are many ways that your facial expressions may communicate the emotions you feel to the people around you. Smiling can let people know that you are happy or friendly. Frowning often communicates that you are sad, irritated, or concerned. Furrowing your eyebrows can make you look angry or focused.
Often, facial expressions may be misinterpreted. In these cases, verbal language might be a tool to explain what one is feeling without assumptions.
Gestures
The hand gestures that you make may add to a conversation, allowing you to communicate with someone without having to speak out loud. For example, you might point at something to indicate importance or gesture to increase the importance of a statement you’re making.
When using American Sign Language (ASL), the way you gesture may communicate the emotion that goes along with the words you are signing. You might gesture more hurriedly if you’re stressed or out of time or slowly if you’re trying to make an essential point.
Personal space
The amount of space you leave between you and someone else may also communicate your feelings. When two people sit very closely together with little space between them, it can show that they are in a close relationship. Alternately, if a person purposefully puts a lot of space between them and someone else, they might feel uncomfortable with physical closeness, or wish to end the conversation.
Touch
Physical touch can communicate several emotions. You might show compassion and empathy for someone by hugging them when they are sad. You may give a high-five to someone to show that you support them and are celebrating with them. Or you might tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention if they are turned away from you.
Touch can be harmful, as well. For example, people might try to hug or kiss someone without consent. In some cases, physical touch can be used out of anger, such as punching, hitting, or kicking. These behaviors are abusive.
If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 for support. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788. You can also use the online chat.
Assistive technology
Assistive technology is sometimes used to make verbal speech without actually speaking. Some individuals, including individuals living with autism and those with a mental or physical condition affecting speech, may experience selective or uncontrollable mutism.
An app, or assistive device, may speak for these individuals by reading the words typed on a screen or selected through image queues out loud. In some cases, the technology may come with an eye tracker that allows individuals with paralysis to converse by looking at the words or letters they want to say. Although the words are spoken verbally, they are spoken by a machine prompted by the individual instead of by voice.
Sign language
American Sign Language involves hand gestures and movements, sometimes accompanied by lip movements or verbal speech. Often, those who utilize ASL are deaf or hard of hearing. However, not everyone that uses it is. Those who experience mutism may also use ASL.
ASL is a fully formed language that can communicate as much as verbal language. This language may be the only language used by some people. Each country may have its own form of sign language.
Cultural differences
In different cultures, nonverbal communication can have varying connotations. For example, sitting close to someone in one culture may indicate attraction, while in other cultures, it could be normal or preferred, including among strangers. Smiling can also be interpreted differently depending on the country you are in. While a smile is considered friendly and inviting in some places, other locations may consider it rude, inconsiderate, or threatening.
Why is nonverbal communication important?
The importance of communication in a relationship is immeasurable. While communication is often verbal, nonverbal communication can support a verbal message or communicate what is going unsaid. Additionally, it may be the only form of communication for some individuals.
It helps people understand what you’re saying
If you are saying something important and are using serious facial expressions and direct gestures, it may help someone know to listen carefully. Additionally, smiling and nodding your head approvingly may communicate friendliness and agreeableness, which can help you make a positive first impression at job interviews or with a new friend.
It can show confidence
Body language may convey confidence, which is often considered attractive. You may portray confidence by keeping your shoulders back, your head up, and making eye contact with another person. Your body language could hide these emotions even if you feel scared or timid.
It can help you make a positive first impression
It has been found that people may make their first impression of you in the first seven seconds after meeting you. You may not have been able to say anything verbally in those first seven seconds of meeting someone. For this reason, they might determine your trustworthiness through your body language.
Learning to read nonverbal communication in others
When people are talking to you, you might try to look for nonverbal cues as you listen to see if their facial expressions communicate the same message as their words. It may help to pay attention to the position of their body as well as to their gestures. These nonverbal cues may help you understand their emotions or thoughts.
Learning to read nonverbal communication may help you discern when another person may be trying to take advantage of you or lie. For example, they might have an off-putting posture while expressing an urge to connect. Trust your instincts. If something feels unsafe, it might be.
How to improve nonverbal communication
Nonverbal communication is a skill you may learn and develop throughout your life. There are a few ways to improve this skill.
Think about your physical reactions
Pay attention to your physical reaction as a result of your emotions. If you are stressed, you might not want to communicate that to the person with whom you’re talking. For example, if you’re at a job interview and aren’t feeling particularly happy, you might want to avoid slouching, holding your head down, or furrowing your brow. Instead, you could indicate confidence by:
Nodding your head
Sitting up straight
Smiling every so often
Laughing when possible
Using hand gestures
Learning to recognize your natural physical responses may help you learn how to catch and correct them before communicating a message that you don’t want to communicate to others.
Get in touch with your emotions
Getting in touch with your emotions may help you control your nonverbal responses. It can be harder to choose what body language to use if you don’t know how you’re feeling, or feel that your body acts without your consent.
The basic emotions include happiness, sadness, fear, and anger. Learning how to recognize the signs of these emotions can help you learn how to control your nonverbal communication.
Practice in front of a mirror
If you haven’t thought about what you’re communicating through your body language, you may be unaware of the signals you send to other people. You may find it helpful to practice meaningful conversations in front of a mirror so you can see what you’re communicating nonverbally.
If this exercise feels unnatural, you might try recording a conversation with a friend to see how you interact with them. If you sit still, fidget often, or appear to be zoning out, it may indicate a chance to change your nonverbal cues.
You can practice working through situations that happen to you regularly to watch your responses. This exercise can help you look for areas you may need to tweak to improve your communication efforts.
Counseling to improve communication
You may benefit from professional support if you’d like to learn more about nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication is something that can be improved, both through self-reflection and the guidance of a counselor. Talking with a therapist may help you improve your verbal and nonverbal communication skills. They might also help you understand different types of nonverbal communication, which may help you discern how other people feel in certain situations.
If you are nervous about meeting a new counselor, consider online therapy. Online counseling allows you to meet from a safe location, such as your home. Additionally, depending on your preferences, you can meet with your therapist over video chat, phone call, or live chat. With virtual therapy through platforms like BetterHelp, video sessions may allow a therapist to observe your nonverbal communication. Many studies have shown that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy.
Takeaway
How you communicate with others, verbally and nonverbally, can play a significant role in the relationships in your life. If you are interested in learning more about nonverbal communication, consider speaking with a licensed counselor. You don’t have to experience a mental health condition to speak with a therapist, as counseling can be utilized as a tool for self-improvement. With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a licensed counselor who has experience helping people with nonverbal communication and other social skills. Take the first step toward improving your communication skills and contact BetterHelp today.
What is the meaning of nonverbal communication?
Nonverbal communication is the passage of information from one individual to another without using vocabulary or spoken language. One might use many methods to communicate non-verbally, such as through body posture, positions, gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact.
What are the four types of non-verbal communication?
While there are several types of non-verbal communication, the most typical are gestures (kinesics), head movements and posture, eye contact (oculesics), and facial expressions. Here are some examples of these nonverbal cues:
1. Gestures: Touching behaviors and movements like fidgeting with an object, wringing the hands, bouncing a knee, or twirling hair are all examples of "adaptive" gestures. "Emblems" like a shrug or "thumbs up" also fall under the category of gestures, as do what's referred to as "illustrators," behaviors like gesturing with the hands while talking. Illustrators are often involuntary and emerge naturally based on context.
2. Head movements and posture: Nodding the head as a signal of understanding, shaking the head to indicate "no," or tilting the head to indicate interest are examples of how individuals may use head movements and posture to communicate.
3. Eye contact: Shifting our gaze between individuals when speaking in a group indicates directed engagement. Sustained eye contact without glancing away might signal we're listening intently, and avoiding eye contact sometimes communicates avoidance or disinterest in interaction.
4. Facial expressions: Smiling, furrowing the brow, or wrinkling the nose are all examples of how we can use facial expressions to communicate non-verbally; however, they can be more nuanced. For example, one might furrow the brow in thought or disapproval. Wrinkling the nose might indicate disgust or amusement.
What is an example of non-verbal communication?
Smiling broadly when we make eye contact with another individual might send a non-verbal message that you're open and interested in interaction. Standing with your hands on your hips and feet shoulder-width apart might communicate confidence. If someone leans in and sustains eye contact while you're speaking, it likely indicates they're interested in and concentrating on what you're saying.
How do we communicate non-verbally?
People use various techniques to communicate non-verbally, some of which are intentional, while others are not. We can communicate non-verbally through touch, for example, a hug if we want to comfort someone or a light touch on the shoulder to get someone's attention. Sometimes, we communicate our feelings for someone through personal space, leaning our bodies toward people we're attracted to or away from people we're uncomfortable with.
People can use gestures with their hands, like waving or pointing, to convey a message. We can make eye contact to let someone know we're interested (or avoid eye contact to let them know we aren't) and use facial expressions to convey mood.
What happens when someone goes non-verbal?
The term "non-verbal" can be used within the context of communicating in other ways besides language. Still, within a mental health context, it typically means a behavior in which an individual can't speak at all or can only communicate using a few words. "Going non-verbal" isn't a choice; it's often a symptom of a larger disorder such as autism, speech disorders like apraxia, or some types of aphasia, as seen in people with progressive neurological disease or head injury.
In some cases, people who have experienced severe trauma can become non-verbal and disassociate with their surroundings. "Selective mutism" is a symptom for some people with severe anxiety disorders in which they are unable to speak in certain situations. Becoming non-verbal within such contexts may result from the brain's fight, flight or freeze response. People with certain mental health conditions might become non-verbal because they feel overwhelmed and "shut down" to outside stimuli. Non-verbality can result from fear but can also be an avoidance mechanism.
Can non-verbal people still talk?
Some people with non-verbal or nonspeaking autism never develop the ability to use words to communicate, while others might build language skills with early intervention. Regardless, some people with non-verbal autism communicate in other ways, including writing, bodily movements, gestures, eye contact, and vocalizations.
What causes someone to be non-verbal?
There are many potential reasons why someone might be nonverbal. One of the most common is developmental conditions like autism. Studies on what causes non-verbal autism are ongoing, but research does suggest that genetics or disruption in early brain development plays a significant role. Other causes for non-verbalization may include:
- Physical conditions like cerebral palsy or a speech disorder that make it difficult for an individual to produce speech
- Traumatic brain injury (TBI) or other neurological conditions that affect the areas of the brain responsible for speech and language.
- Psychological conditions such as severe anxiety in which an individual may be able to speak but experiences significant distress when attempting to communicate verbally in some situations (also called selective mutism)
- Emotional trauma or abuse can cause a person to become non-verbal as a coping mechanism
How do you help someone who has gone nonverbal?
Each person's experience with non-verbality is unique, so the best way to help is to ask them what you should do in that situation (while they can still communicate between non-verbal "episodes"). Approach the situation with patience, empathy, and understanding. Here are some ways you might help someone who has gone non-verbal:
- Find alternative ways to communicate: Use gestures, facial expressions, and body language. You might also consider using visual aids, communication boards, writing, texting, or sign language to facilitate communication.
- Create a supportive environment: Make sure the individual feels safe, comfortable, and supported in their surroundings. If possible, reduce distractions and noise that might be overwhelming for them.
- Encourage them to communicate non-verbally: If they're receptive, encourage them to communicate in whatever way feels comfortable for them, whether through drawing, writing, gesturing, or using a communication device.
- Respect their boundaries: Don't pressure someone who has developed non-verbality to communicate in ways that make them uncomfortable. Allow them to communicate at their own pace in their own way.
- Ask if they want you to talk: Sometimes, people who have gone non-verbal find it overwhelming or frustrating to listen to others speak. Find out if they prefer that you continue communicating or if they'd rather you be quiet and refrain from trying to engage them in any kind of communication during a non-verbal episode.
Can anxiety make you go non-verbal?
Yes, in some instances, selective mutism is a symptom of severe anxiety. It usually starts in childhood but can persist into adulthood if left unaddressed. In such cases, individuals with selective mutism aren't refusing to or choosing not to speak; it is an involuntary condition in which they are unable to speak. People with selective mutism might speak comfortably with certain people without anyone else around but freeze when someone else enters the vicinity.
How do you communicate with someone who won't talk?
Communicating with someone who is unwilling to talk can be challenging, but it is possible with patience and understanding. Here are a few tips for effectively getting through to someone who won't speak:
Stay calm
It can be highly frustrating when you're trying to get a point across, but someone won't respond or they "tell you what you want to hear" to avoid having the conversation. If you're feeling unheard and shut out, it may be tempting to become more intense or passionate to make yourself heard, but it often worsens things and has the opposite effect. Stay mindful of your tone of voice as well as the content of your speech.
Be honest about your feelings
Uncover the root of your feelings and share that with them, even if it is uncomfortable. For example, it may be hard to share that you're feeling overwhelmed and insecure when someone is stonewalling you. Still, it can show you're willing to communicate from a level of authenticity.
Stay balanced
When someone doesn't talk about an issue that must be addressed and resolved, it can be easy to focus on what they do to contribute to the conflict instead of presenting a more balanced perspective. However, that may also increase negative emotions and the likelihood they'll shut down even further. For example, if you need help completing a task that requires the other person's cooperation, let them know you value their contributions in other areas, too.
Focus on finding a solution
Shutting down can result from feeling overwhelmed when faced with challenges, creating a fight, flight or freeze response. In times of such stress, staying focused on solutions is challenging. Stay mindful of the end goal and redirect the conversation back to a place of resolution rather than conflict.
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