Stop Bullying By Learning How To Stop a Bully When You See One
- For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988
- For those experiencing abuse, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- For those experiencing substance use, please contact SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357
Bullying behavior can be experienced at any age and in a variety of contexts, involving other kids, complete strangers, or even kids who post online. Although many of us may agree that bullying is wrong and harmful, we may not know the best way to respond to it. It can be important to know how to stop bullying and take steps towards preventing bullying, including when you witness it, so that you are empowered to take action and prevent others from experiencing PTSD from bullying.
Several ways to stop bullying can include separating the bully and their target, reaching out to school staff, parents, or an adult you trust who has the power to help, expressing kindness to the bully’s target, getting help after the fact, and avoiding participation in any form of bullying, including cyberbullying. If you, as a kid or a parent, have experienced, witnessed, or taken part in bullying, you may benefit from online therapy or seeking support within your community.
Understand various presentations of bullying
Although we might picture kids when we think of bullying, it doesn’t only affect minors. Some studies say that adult bullying is just as common as childhood bullying. Additionally, bullying may not be limited to name-calling or talking down to someone. It can also take the form of rumors, purposeful exclusion, destruction of personal property, text messages that cause emotional harm, and physical violence.
How to stop bullying in the digital age
In today’s digital age, cyberbullying is a growing concern, especially on social media. These online spaces often give bullies an identity cover, making it easier to target and harass individuals without immediate consequences. Depending on the platform, victims and witnesses can easily report cyberbullying incidents. That way, the appropriate measures can be taken to stop or prevent bullying behavior and protect vulnerable users.
Prevent bullying: Recognizing its various forms in your community
Friends, coworkers, employers, and other students can all be bullies, though this is by no means an exhaustive list. When you know the different ways it can take place and some examples of bullying, you may be able to better recognize it and get involved to prevent bullying. In such situations, it is essential to seek support from school staff, parents, or the community to address the issue and create a safer environment for everyone.
When safe, attempt to separate the person from the bully
If you’re able to do so, it may be helpful to engage the kid who is being bullied. You might start an unrelated conversation with them to get them away from the situation (e.g., “Hey, did you get the instructions from our teacher earlier? I need help. Can you talk for a minute?”). This can work in scenarios where you and the person being bullied are physically safe. Using a clear voice, you can then check in with them, ask if they need anything, and take action if possible. For example, if the bullying occurred in a school environment, you might ask if they want you, as a parent or a fellow student, to go to the school staff to talk about it with them.
Tell someone who can help
Sometimes, despite seeing warning signs, people stand around and watch or even record someone being bullied on social media instead of taking action. Even when this isn’t the case, someone might know that bullying is happening and ignore the situation. If you see someone being bullied, there are almost always steps you can take to report bullying or help alleviate the situation. Even if all you’re doing is reporting the behavior, your help can make a big difference. Keep in mind, though, that while you may be able to step in, this may not always be the best or safest option, especially if the bullying involves violence.
Walking away and seeking help when facing bullying
If you are not involved or able to do anything or if it isn’t safe to take direct action, the best course of action may be to walk away and contact the proper authorities. If you are a student and you don't know how to cope with bullying at school, you could tell a teacher. If you are an adult, you could talk to another person who has the power to address the matter.
If you have power, use it
Just as it can be crucial to reach out to someone like a professor, boss, or HR professional when you notice bullying, it can be imperative to use that power yourself if you have it. If you’re in a position of authority, you may be able to act in a beneficial way that poses as little risk as possible to the person facing bullying. For example, if you’re a teacher, you may have the power to speak with the bully after class, report the incident, or take other appropriate action given the unique circumstances of what you witnessed.
Stop bullying and create a safe environment through effective prevention methods
Research shows that some of the best bullying prevention methods rely on staff and others to respond to bullying and create a safe space. For example, it can be important in schools to talk to both the students and the staff about bullying. You might take action to create a safe environment and make anti-bullying efforts a priority, no matter where you work.
Be kind to the person being bullied
Experiencing bullying can be detrimental to one’s physical and mental health. By showing kindness, you may be able to help the victim overcome some of these negative effects. For instance, supportive relationships have been correlated with better mental and physical health. In addition, bullying may be less intimidating for the individual if they have someone on their side. You may even make a new friend.
Surround yourself with supportive people to prevent bullying
If you’re the one being bullied, you might try to surround yourself with friends and acquaintances in situations where you expect that you might encounter the bully. This could limit opportunities for the bully to act and provide you with emotional support when you need it.
Get help after the encounter
Once you have created a safe space and stopped the bullying, you might look for ways to better address the situation so that it can be prevented going forward. This usually means finding people in charge who are equipped on how to deal with bullies and bullying and can ensure this behavior doesn’t happen again. Talking about certain kinds of behavior can be uncomfortable, but in many circumstances, it can be vital. If the situation is handled properly, it could prevent someone else from experiencing the same or worse.
Make an effort to play no part in it
There can be times when people let bullying continue without meaning to. For example, you might hear someone make fun of their friend or partner, and instead of saying anything, you stay quiet. Or you might pretend that you don’t hear a boss saying something out of line, discriminatory, or cruel about an employee.
Standing up against harmful behavior
In certain situations, particularly if the individual making harmful statements is a friend or family, you might say something like, “That isn’t funny,” or “That isn’t okay.” This can go a long way toward making the individual realize that this behavior is not acceptable. People generally do not expect to be called out on their behavior, and in some circumstances, that might be all it takes for other people to stand up and help stop the bullying, too.
Prioritizing safety in bullying situations
However, there may be social situations where it will not be safe to do this. If a bully is engaging in physical acts of harm, the most important thing is ensuring safety. You could call for help and monitor the situation so that you will be able to provide information once the proper authority arrives. It may be ideal to prioritize everyone’s well-being over fighting back or engaging with the bully.
How does bullying affect adults and children?
Bullying is often a source of trauma, and it can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in some cases.
- Decreased engagement and productivity at work and school
- Heightened risk of depression and anxiety symptoms
- Greater risk of substance use disorders
- Higher risk of eating disorders
- Lower self-esteem
- Physical health concerns, such as trouble sleeping, tension or pain, and headaches
However, all these outcomes can be treatable. To cope with the effects of bullying, you might try utilizing self-care techniques, finding new environments where bullying isn’t tolerated, making positive connections, and asking for support from medical and mental health providers.
Therapy can help
Bullying is not the fault of the person who experiences it, but it can have lasting impacts. If you’ve been bullied, it’s possible to move forward. Therapy can help with concerns related to bullying, such as low self-esteem, stress, difficulty at work or school, family issues, and mental health conditions like anxiety disorders, PTSD, and depression. In fact, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is regarded as one of the most effective therapies in addressing the emotional distress caused by bullying. While CBT used to involve visiting a professional’s office, now individuals can get CBT online. And online therapy has been proven as effective as in-person therapy. Plus, it’s more convenient.
You can quickly and easily find a qualified, licensed therapist to work with online through a platform like BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to start seeing a provider sooner rather than later, and the licensure of every provider on the platform is verified. Regardless of how you find someone to work with, you deserve to have a positive support system and people around who uplift you.
Takeaway
Why do we need to stop bullying?
Bullying and cyberbullying can lead to serious physical, mental, emotional, social, and academic concerns. Those concerns underlie the primary motivation to prevent bullying. Children who are bullied are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, increased feelings of loneliness, sleep disturbances, and loss of interest in enjoyable activities. Physical health concerns are also more common among kids who have been bullied, as are academic concerns due to substantial reductions in their school participation.
Even bullies themselves are at risk. Evidence suggests that a child who bullies is more likely to develop substance abuse problems, engage in criminal behavior, and be abusive towards romantic partners. The poor prognosis of most bullies illustrates the complexity of what causes a child to bully others. Many bullies are subjected to abuse or neglect at home and are typically not given the support necessary to change their aggressive behavior. Preventing bullying, cyberbullying, and other forms of interpersonal aggression among children likely requires addressing underlying factors such as a bully’s home life.
How do you stop online abuse?
If you are being cyberbullied or experiencing online abuse, you should consider following these steps:
If you are a child or teen, immediately report the bullying to a safe adult.
Block the cyberbully on all online platforms in which you both participate.
If possible, report the cyberbullying to the online platform. Many websites have anti-harassment policies and will remove those who violate them.
Print or archive all correspondence and evidence of bullying.
If you are a child and teen, and you and the bully both attend the same school, report the bullying to a teacher or principal.
If harassment or bullying continues, contact local law enforcement with your evidence and see if any stalking, harassment, or cyberbullying laws apply to your situation.
How can you protect yourself from harassment on social media?
Protecting yourself from harassment on social media often requires taking proactive steps to ensure your online safety. Consider the following ways to help make the Internet a safe environment:
- Know the website. It is often helpful to ensure that you know how to report, block, and filter users or content on a particular site. Knowing where to find that site’s anti-harassment policy or similar guidelines may also be helpful.
- Configure your settings. Make sure any content you post is only being seen by those who you want to see it and that your profile is only reachable to those who are welcome to view it.
- Check your posts. You might want to consider avoiding posting information that could give away your location or any sensitive information that could be used to harass you.
- Turn off geolocation. Many sites automatically attach location information to posts. That feature should be disabled to ensure your security.
- Report harassment. Many sites have anti-harassment policies and will remove users who deliberately attempt to harm others on the platform. If the harassment is severe and the site refuses to intervene, it may be worthwhile to inquire with local law enforcement about any relevant stalking, harassment, or cyberbullying laws.
What is the most common type of bullying experienced by students?
Bullying in schools typically peaks in early adolescence and usually begins to wane by late adolescence. Middle-school students are the most likely group to be impacted by bullying. Bullying is typically categorized into one of four types: physical, verbal, social/relational, and cyberbullying.
- Physical bullying refers to physical attacks, such as hitting, kicking, or grabbing the student. Intimidation and physical threats are also included in this category, such as threatening to hit someone or moving toward them aggressively with the intent of frightening them.
- Verbal bullying typically includes name-calling, derogatory statements, insults, and taunts. The goal is often to provoke the student being bullied.
- Social/relational bullying refers to an aggressor manipulating social relationships to harm or control a victim. This form of bullying tends to be more subtle and may not always be recognized as bullying. Common tactics include spreading rumors, social exclusion, and manipulating social dynamics.
- Cyberbullying refers to verbal or social/relational bullying that takes place online. Cyberbullying is complicated by the fact that new technology allows for novel forms of aggression. For example, creating a hurtful message or meme that “goes viral,” spreading through the school population and beyond.
Out of those four types, evidence suggests that verbal bullying is the most common. However, as anti-bullying programs and adjustments to the school culture reduce the prevalence of in-person bullying, cyberbullying continues to grow. Technological factors, like the ubiquity of cell phones in modern society, also likely contribute to this trend. Furthermore, while bullying in schools continues to be a frequently-researched subject, cyberbullying complicates the issue by removing the bully and their victim from the school environment, making research and intervention efforts more challenging.
What is self-bullying?
Self-bullying typically refers to thoughts and behaviors that are commonly considered bullying being directed inward. If a person insults themselves, put themselves down, or otherwise disparage themselves, they might be engaging in self-bullying. Because self-bullying happens within, it is often challenging for others to recognize the warning signs. It is often beneficial to do a mental self-check if you catch yourself speaking to yourself negatively. Is what you're saying verifiable and accurate? Are there other explanations or perspectives? Is there any way to introduce positivity into your thoughts? Self-bullying can cause the same adverse mental and physical effects as traditional bullying, meaning taking steps to address it will likely be worthwhile.
Do bullies have mental health problems?
There isn’t a specific mental health condition that directly causes bullying, but mental health concerns do correlate with bullying behavior. Bullies are created through a complex combination of individual, social, and environmental factors. Many experts believe that exposure to adverse childhood experiences plays a crucial role, especially exposure to aggressive behaviors. Those adverse experiences often set the stage for both bullying behavior and mental health concerns, likely causing the correlation between bullies and mental health concerns that is seen today.
- Previous Article
- Next Article