Coping With A New School Transition: Supporting Your Child's Mental Health
Change tends to be an inevitable part of life, and learning to cope with change can be an important life skill. Switching schools, whether due to a move or a transition between elementary and middle school, for example, can be challenging for children. Being upfront about the transition, remaining attentive to your child’s needs, and showing compassion as they explore their emotions about the situation can be helpful. You may also find it beneficial to discuss the situation with a licensed therapist if your child seems to be having trouble adjusting.
The impact of transitions on children’s mental health
Children tend to rely entirely on their parents or caregivers to protect them, and they might become distressed when they are subjected to a change over which they have no control. Some kids might become anxious, withdrawn, depressed, or fearful when confronted with change. These impacts can vary in severity, and some children may be more adventurous and open to change than others due to their temperament and level of resilience.
The way you discuss transitions can also impact the way your child views them. Maintaining a positive attitude and pointing out the exciting parts of the transition may be helpful.
Starting at a new school: Mental health implications
Attending a new school can be a massive transition for children because those who attend school full-time spend most of their time in this environment and build their social network based on the people with whom they interact daily. When children must say goodbye to their friends, teachers, activities, and classes at one school to go somewhere new, they may experience a range of mental health challenges, including anxiety, stress, loneliness, and homesickness, although this is not always the case.
How parents can support their children through a new school transition
Consider the following tips to help your child adjust to starting at a new school, whether in your hometown or in a new location.
Help your child find a social circle
In general, children need healthy social connections with peers, so starting at a new school may lead some kids to worry about whether they’ll make friends. A child might miss their old friends and struggle to see the new opportunity as a way to meet new people. As a caregiver, you can help by signing them up for activities in which they’re interested, talking to them about conversation starters to make new friends, and discussing how to navigate social challenges.
Be sure to let your child know they can turn to you if anyone treats them unkindly or leads them to feel uncomfortable. Approximately one out of five students in the US reports being bullied, so it can be crucial to address any challenges promptly. If your child is being bullied, you might consider enrolling them in social groups like school clubs or extracurricular activities, where they can meet friends with similar interests. Talk to your child’s school counselor if you notice any concerning symptoms at home as they transition to their new school.
Offer your support every step of the way
Be active in your child’s transition. Ask them how they feel and how the new school is for them. Let them know you’re open to working with them to make the transition smoother and want their feedback. If you notice any struggles, take a collaborative approach to problem-solving. Being present for your children can show them you love them and care about how your decisions impact them.
Understand there may be mental health barriers for some children
Even if your child has not previously had mental health challenges, a move to a new school may lead some to arise. A child who was previously happy could develop a depressive disorder, and a child who may have been confident in their old friend groups might start to experience social anxiety symptoms in a new environment. Learn about the signs of common mental illnesses in children and be proactive in seeking professional help if you notice any in your child.
Enroll them in new activities
Activities can be a healthy way to distract your child from the challenges of starting at a new school and help them make new friends. Consider the following options:
- Children’s sports leagues at their school or within the community
- Arts and crafts groups
- Writing or book clubs
- “Fandom-based” clubs like an anime club or TV show discussion group
- Robotics clubs
- Computer science or STEM clubs
- A skills-based class like a cooking class
- Poetry reading clubs, like a slam poetry club
- Peer support groups
- Nonprofit or volunteer groups for kids and teens
- Mentoring programs where your child can mentor and support a younger child at their school
Tour the school and area ahead of the new school year or as soon as possible before starting
Before moving, consider taking a tour of your child’s new school to show them where they’ll be studying and the options available for socialization. If possible, meet the child’s teacher or teachers to learn more about their schedule. Afterward, you might go shopping for some new school supplies. Younger kids may become more excited about the actual school transition if they see their new place of study in person.
Allowing them to mentally and emotionally prepare may reduce some nerves about starting at a new school, especially in a new area. If you’re moving from a small town to a big city, for example, your child might be overwhelmed by a large school with hundreds of students, so touring the school can help them understand what a larger school looks like.
Get involved
If your schedule allows, you might get involved at your child’s new school, especially if they are in elementary school. You could volunteer in the school library, join the Parent-Teacher Association (PTA), or participate in community bake sales. Being present can offer insight into whether your child is easing into the social environment at their new school or struggling to make friends. Give them space when you’re around, and if your child asks you not to be active in their school community, you might consider respecting their autonomy and giving them more space.
What is the hardest age for kids to move?
Although there is no predetermined “worst age” for a child to move, the adolescent years of a child’s life, when they are coping with other challenges like puberty, friend conflicts, and dating for the first time, may be one of the most challenging periods.
Children who move during middle school may also be at a higher risk of bullying, as bullying tends to be most common in middle schools. However, all age groups experience developmental milestones that can make moving challenging. For this reason, working with a therapist before a big move may be helpful. It can be important for children to develop resilience and flexibility, as change tends to be an unavoidable part of life.
Helping high school students move schools
High school students can have difficulty moving schools because they’ve often established friend groups and social systems from an early age. Joining a new social group can be difficult when other children have already established their circles.
In addition, teens are often balancing the impacts of puberty and deciding what they want to do as they enter adulthood. These stressors can lead teens to be at a higher risk of developing mental illness, especially when facing a significant move.
Tips to support your child through high school at a new school
To support your high school student, consider the following tips:
- Discuss community clubs and groups they can join, such as a theater company
- Connect them with a therapist who can guide them through the transition, or encourage them to speak with the guidance counselor at their new school
- Consider support groups for teens
- Keep an open dialogue about the experience and be open to questions
- Involve your teen in decision-making processes related to the move
How to tell your child they’ll be starting at a new school
Telling your child that they will be switching schools may seem daunting, and you may be unsure how to approach the topic. Let them know why they'll be moving schools, whether due to a neighborhood change, an international move, or an expected transition between the local elementary and middle schools. Discuss what this change could mean for their academic and personal life.
If you’re the parent of younger children going to a new elementary school, you might highlight the exciting parts of the move, such as the parks nearby, a play date you’ve planned for them, or the programs available at their new school. Let them ask questions and be open to emotional responses. If they cry, get angry, or act out, give them space to process their emotions and validate their response, reminding them that change can be challenging, but you’re there to support them no matter what.
Mental health support options for parents and teens
Transitions can be tricky, and mental health complications may arise for both parents and children. However, during a move, finding therapy can be difficult. In these cases, online therapy platforms like BetterHelp for adults or TeenCounseling for teens aged 13 to 19 may be helpful, allowing clients to attend therapy from any location with an internet connection. In addition, you can schedule sessions at a time that works for you, including outside of standard business and school hours.
Studies indicate that online therapy may be especially helpful in teaching parents how to support their children’s emotional needs. In a 2021 study, online therapy helped parents improve their emotional regulation skills. In addition, parental stress and anxiety were reduced.
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