Christian Marriage Counseling: Exploring Faith-Based Marriage And Family Therapy

Christian marriage counseling is a form of couples therapy in which the principles of Christianity are incorporated into the therapeutic process. Faith-based marriage counseling can help Christian couples better communicate, foster physical and emotional closeness, and address potential areas of conflict—all while nurturing their spiritual connection.

If you and your partner are seeking couples therapy that emphasizes the role of your Christian religious affiliation, this type of marriage counseling may help you cultivate a fulfilling, healthy relationship. Below, we’re providing an overview of Christian marriage counseling, discussing the potential benefits of this form of therapy, and providing advice to help you find the right faith-based counselor for you.  

Looking to foster mental and spiritual wellness?

Connect with a faith-based therapist online

An overview of Christian counseling

People who practice Christianity often apply their beliefs to their professional, social, and family lives, aiming to live in accordance with the principles of their faith. When Christians seek guidance for challenges related to these facets of life, it can be helpful to do so with someone whose beliefs align with their own. Christian counseling is a form of therapy in which the tenets of the Christian faith are used to help participants address mental health and life challenges. 

Christian counseling and spiritual wellness

Faith-based counseling can help individuals better connect with their spirituality, which studies indicate may have benefits for mental and physical health. For example, research suggests that spiritual community participation, regardless of faith type or denomination, may result in reduced depression and substance use as well as increased life expectancy. It’s thought that a spiritual practice can provide people with purpose, support systems, and a sense of meaning. Faith-based counseling that reinforces a person’s spirituality may help people foster spiritual wellness as they learn more about what their faith means to them. 

What is Christian marriage counseling?

Christian counseling allows participants to apply the principles of their faith as they address mental health and life challenges. This approach can be particularly desirable when it comes to marriage, which is viewed by many Christians as a sacred institution. Christian marriage counseling allows couples of this faith to navigate conflict, improve communication, foster intimacy, and continue to develop a solid spiritual connection. 

How faith-based marriage and family therapy works

As with many types of therapy, Christian marriage counseling is centered around discussions between the therapist and the participants. Through these discussions, a Christian counselor can help a couple identify any present issues or potential areas of focus and address these by applying the tenets of the Christian faith. 

Identifying challenges

A Christian couples counselor can help participants identify sources of conflict or tension in their marriage. Some common challenges married couples face include the following: 

• Financial concerns
• Lack of emotional or physical intimacy
• Communication challenges 
• Infidelity
• Mental health concerns 

Christian counselors can also help engaged couples prepare to get married through premarital counseling.

Developing solutions through Christian principles

Many tenets of Christianity can help guide couples as they aim to promote harmony within their marriage. A primary example of this is the vital role of forgiveness in the Christian faith. A couples counselor can discuss the way forgiveness is emphasized in the Bible, pointing to instances where it helped facilitate the healing process or develop a bond between people. The professional can then help the couple find ways to apply this principle in their relationship.

Who are Christian marriage counselors?

Various types of mental health professionals, clergy members, and other professionals may be able to provide Christian guidance on marital concerns. However, it can be important to know the difference between licensed marriage counselors and faith leaders, who may or may not have the training to conduct marriage and family counseling.  

Clergy members and other faith leaders

Many clergy members provide guidance—including marital advice—to congregation members as part of their duties. Sometimes, faith leaders have the expertise and qualifications to administer professional, evidence-based marriage counseling to couples, but this isn’t always the case. For certain relationship or mental health concerns, a minister or priest may refer a couple to a licensed professional. 

Faith-based marriage and family counselors

Marriage and family therapy is a discipline centered around enhancing relationship functioning through various techniques. Often, a Christian couples counselor is a marriage and family therapist who has a personal and, in some cases, professional training background in Christianity. Some marriage and family therapists are former clergy members, while others are practicing Christians who provide professional counseling as their career. 

Other mental health professionals 

Psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and several other types of professionals may also have the training necessary to incorporate religious principles into the therapeutic process. It may be advisable to ask about the experience and qualifications of a given provider in your consultation session with them.

Potential benefits of Christian marriage counseling

Faith-based marriage counseling can provide couples with a safe space in which to address relationship concerns. The following are some of the potential benefits of Christian marriage counseling for Christian partners or spouses. 

Enhanced communication

Many of the core tenets of Christianity—including an emphasis on community, mutual understanding, forgiveness, etc.—highlight the importance of communication. By building on these, counseling can help couples learn how to apologize to each other and forgive each other, and it can also help partners better understand one another and feel heard. 

Conflict resolution

Christian marriage counseling can help participants address present issues in their relationship. Counselors can also help couples develop techniques for alleviating tension during disagreements. This might involve traditional couples therapy strategies, such using “I” statements instead of blaming language. It may also involve connecting conflict resolution to certain Biblical concepts, such as love and understanding. 

Spiritual wellness

A connection to a higher purpose can be beneficial for spouses. This approach may potentially provide them with a sense of purpose, contribute to their understanding of themselves, and give them a foundation upon which to build their marriage. 

Many Christian concepts are tied to practices that may enhance spiritual wellness. For example, a belief in God’s provision can lead to feelings of gratitude, which may have significant health benefits. According to an article on the topic from UCLA Health, regularly practicing gratitude may be correlated with reduced symptoms of depression, better sleep, and other potential benefits. 

Faith-based couples counseling can also help participants learn more about the role of Christian values in their relationship. For example, a counselor may help partners focus on forgiveness, connecting it to their marriage as well as to their lives as individuals. 

Mental wellness

Mental health challenges can lead to significant challenges in daily life, such as functional impairment, emotional distress, and physical health concerns. Additionally, individual psychological challenges can sometimes contribute to conflict in a marriage. For example, when one spouse is living with a mental illness like depression or anxiety, they may struggle to participate in the marriage as constructively as they would like. 

A Christian counselor can help both spouses develop coping strategies to address symptoms of mental health conditions, if applicable. They may also help the couple explore ways in which their faith can help them promote mental wellness. For example, they may encourage the couple to participate in church fellowship groups so that they can seek social support.  

How to find Christian marriage counselors

If you and your partner are interested in meeting with a Christian counselor, there are several options to consider. One way to pursue faith-based marriage counseling is through your church. As discussed above, some Christian clergy members are trained to provide counseling so that they can help members of their congregation address challenges. 

You and your spouse can also ask for a referral from your primary care provider or another medical or mental health professional. If your insurance covers mental health care, you may be able to use the provider directory to find faith-based professionals. You can also find counselors through professional organizations like the American Association of Christian Counselors or the Christian Association for Psychological Studies. 

What to look for when seeking professional help

As discussed above, not everyone who provides Christian marriage counseling is licensed to provide talk therapy. It can help to ask the individual about their qualifications and experience with counseling. You may also want to ask about the strategies they use, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or narrative therapy. 

Keep in mind as well that one of the most important considerations when choosing a marriage counselor is your comfort with the professional. A strong therapeutic alliance between you, your partner, and the therapist can be key to constructive sessions.  

Participating in Christian counseling online

For many couples, making time to find a faith-based therapist and then regularly commute to and from counseling sessions in person can be difficult. Online therapy can be a more convenient alternative in such cases. It makes it easy to connect with the right Christian marriage counselor for you and your partner, which can be helpful if you’re worried that you’ll waste time commuting or sitting in a waiting room.

Potential benefits of online Christian marriage counseling

Using an online therapy platform like BetterHelp (for individuals) or Regain (for couples), you and/or your partner can connect with a faith-based counselor by indicating your preference for a Christian mental health professional when completing your initial questionnaire. Online therapy is also a more affordable option than in-person care without insurance in many cases, with BetterHelp subscriptions starting at $65 per week, billed every four weeks. 

The efficacy of online relationship therapy 

The results of a growing number of studies suggest that online therapy can help partners strengthen their relationship and improve their emotional well-being. In one study, for instance, the findings suggest that couples who participated in an online relationship therapy program experienced increases in relationship satisfaction along with decreases in symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress.