Does Marital Counseling Work? Exploring Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy
Though some people may believe marital counseling is reserved for those considering divorce or experiencing relationship issues, many couples can benefit from seek marriage counseling and the help of a licensed therapist for many reasons. Some couples wait until small problems become larger, however, therapy can help you and your spouse improve communication, understand each other better, and build on your connection and intimacy before issues become overwhelming. In-person and online marriage therapy work may improve relationship satisfaction, though they could require a significant commitment from both spouses.
Does marital counseling work?
According to one survey, approximately 49% of couples use relationship counseling services or marriage therapy at some point during their marriage, and 70% of these couples report that these services are beneficial. Relationship therapy can benefit couples because long-term committed relationships might experience periods of disharmony, and individuals may not be educated on tools to repair and strengthen romantic connections.
These tools, which marriage therapists often teach, include strategies for practicing empathy, learning to resolve conflicts, learning to accept responsibility, reducing avoidant behaviors, fostering connection, and expressing concerns constructively.
Some couples may be worried about the stigma associated with marriage therapy. For example, they might believe they will divorce if they try marriage therapy. However, according to Dr. Joel Block, the author of a popular psychology book called The 15-Minute Relationship Fix, couples may benefit from seeking support as soon as issues arise rather than waiting for challenges to become insurmountable.
Who can benefit from marriage counseling?
Couples without discernable issues could also benefit from relationship therapy to strengthen partnerships. Like individual therapy and family therapy, couples therapy can be a form of self-care and proactive relationship maintenance.
Marriage therapy sessions are typically collaborative, and your therapist may use a variety of clinical psychology techniques including:
- Solution focused therapy (SFT)
- Discernment counseling
- Positive psychology therapy (PPT)
- Emotionally focused therapy (EFT)
- The Gottman Method Couple’s Therapy, developed by John Gottman
All of these methods are commonly used in marriage and family therapy. Couples therapy provides professional help that may improve men’s and women’s health individually while also improving their marriage and family life as well.
When to consider marriage counseling
You and your partner do not have to be experiencing conflict to participate in marriage therapy. Couples counseling can be a time to learn how you best work together or prepare for the future. The following are some other reasons you and your spouse might seek relationship therapy:
- A desire to strengthen your partnership
- Frequent arguments
- Difficulty compromising or working together
- Lack of trust
- Physical or emotional disconnection
- Sexual intimacy difficulties or sexual issues
- Lifestyle preference differences, such as the desire to have children, parenting styles, travel, or move
- Mental illnesses that impact the relationship
- Infidelity
Studies on marriage counseling
Studies repeatedly show that evidence-based couples therapy is effective. A 2020 study found that a specific type of couples therapy, called cognitive-behavioral couples therapy (CBCT), is effective at reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression and improving relationship perception. This therapy focuses on understanding and reframing thoughts and emotions that can lead to harmful or unproductive behaviors in relationships. CBCT can help address many challenges within a relationship, with the goal of reducing emotional relationship distress.
A typical marriage counseling session
Marriage therapy sessions are usually conducted by a mental health professional—often, someone with a specialty in marriage and family therapy. The marriage and family therapist may approach therapy differently depending on their background, education, expertise, and the specific challenges in your relationship. Typically, marriage therapy works through a process of identifying growth areas, establishing goals, and developing solutions that will help couples improve their relationship. Often, couples therapy sessions may involve guided conversations that help you and your spouse identify areas of concern within your relationship.
Therapists may be able to help:
- Adopt healthier and better communication strategies
- Practice vulnerability
- Feel compassion during the conflict, and avoid using hurtful language during emotional discussions
- Make time for intimacy and connection
- Think more positively about each other
While marriage therapy can be effective, it may require a significant commitment from you and your spouse to create a healthy marriage. Therapy can provide tools and feedback, but you may need to commit to incorporating them into your daily lives.
To make relationship therapy more effective, many therapists provide clients with worksheets or homework assignments. Couples' "homework" may include building furniture together, making time for emotional check-ins, writing each other letters, or using "I" statements. You can also ensure marriage therapy works as effectively as possible by finding the right services for you, which we’ll discuss below.
Finding marriage counseling services
There are many ways to search for relationship therapy services. For example, you may find that an organization in your community, such as a religious institution or a community center, offers relationship or pre-marital classes that teach communication strategies. You can also ask your primary care provider—who usually provides you with medical advice, diagnosis, etc.—for a referral to a therapy service. If you prefer seeing a licensed therapist, you can search online for a therapist near you, both in person at a therapist’s office, or online in your home. Many companies and individual therapists also offer online therapy services.
Couples therapy cost influencing decisions
When considering the type of relationship therapy service to try, it can be helpful to understand therapy pricing. While individual therapy may be covered by insurance at a one on one practice, many health insurers do not cover couples counseling. If your insurance company does not cover this type of therapy, you may be expected to pay approximately $175-$250 per session. However, some therapists offer sliding scale payments or discounts when you purchase a package of multiple sessions.
Suppose you and your spouse do not wish to seek therapy or struggle to afford the cost of therapy. In that case, you might try using alternative sources, such as mobile applications designed to help build trust and improve communication strategies. However, unlike therapy sessions from a licensed professional, apps may show your profile, and strategies may not be effective or evidence-based. Alternatively, you can try using free worksheets that are available online.
Counseling options
You can also find cost-effective support and treatment through a provider online. Many online platforms offer relationship therapy sessions for an average of $65 to $90 weekly. You can also take advantage of benefits like diverse options for meeting with your therapist. For example, you can choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions.
In addition to studying in-person relationship therapy, many researchers have assessed the effectiveness of online therapy. A 2022 study found that online couples therapy is an effective alternative to in-person therapy and can improve both mental health and relationship satisfaction. While platforms like BetterHelp do not accept insurance, they offer online relationship therapy at rates comparable to typical therapy co-pays. This factor may make evidence-based, effective therapy from a licensed professional a more affordable option for you.
Takeaway
Nearly half of all US married couples seek marital counseling at some point. Though they might reach out to discuss serious relationship challenges, many spouses seek therapy as a form of self-care or to grow as partners. Reaching out for support before major disputes arise can be a beneficial prevention strategy. Just as your doctor might give you medical advice so that you can avoid health concerns, a therapist can help you and your partner work together and avoid future conflict and tension.
Marital counseling can improve relationship perception and mental health if both partners are committed to the process. Additionally, online therapy is an effective alternative to in-person couples therapy and may be a more affordable option. If you're interested in reaching out for support, consider contacting a therapist for further guidance.
What is the meaning of marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling is a form of joint counseling in which a couple works on relationship challenges with a mental health professional. Couples attend and work together with their counselor, talking through feelings and difficult issues, and learning skills to find resolutions together.
What is the role of relationship therapy in mental health?
Healthy relationships with others, and in particular romantic relationships, have a significant impact on a person’s mental health. Even when both partners have the best intentions, a relationship can hit communication snags. Many of us never really learn healthy communication, and a romantic relationship can bring this to the forefront. By addressing your relationship, learning to communicate and share intimacy, can improve mental health and even have positive impacts on other relationships.
What does couples therapy include?
A couples therapist typically runs weekly sessions in which they work on resolving interpersonal conflicts to improve romantic relationships. This can include techniques like role play or role reversal, active listening, identifying and changing negative patterns, and strengthening emotional connections.
What is the best type of marriage counseling?
The talk therapy approach that most licensed therapists use to deal with couples is Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT.
What is the main problem seen in marriage and family therapy?
Marital and family therapy often works with couples struggling to communicate. Even when other issues are in play, such as extramarital affairs, problems with communication are often a root cause. Couples counselors can help identify the underlying problems, teach active listening skills and conflict resolution strategies, and help most couples rediscover healthy intimacy.
Can marital counseling improve communication?
Marriage counseling works to improve communication and strengthen emotional bonds. A large part of the sessions are dedicated to exploring different ways to resolve conflict and communicate more effectively.
How effective is couples therapy?
Research shows that couples therapy is significantly effective. According to the APA, couples therapy using the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach, is around 75% effective. It is important to note, however, that couples and marriage counseling work most effectively when both partners are invested in saving the relationship, and are willing participants in the therapy sessions.
How do you know when it's time for couples counseling?
Some couples will attend couples counseling in a proactive manner, but many wait until it’s too late to do much good. Examine your own feelings about your relationship. Do you feel that you and your partner are sharing in a healthy way, or is one partner carrying most of the emotional load? Do you find that you often have negative thoughts about your partner that are unresolved? Do you feel like you are struggling alone?
If you answer yes to these questions, you may want to broach the idea of couples counseling to your partner. You can seek out a personal practice in you area, or explore online platforms if you’d rather work from home.
How long do most people do marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling is considered by many different therapists to be one of the most difficult types to undertake. Most will attend weekly or bi-weekly sessions, and these can last for a couple of months, up to years on and off. It depends on the challenges that the couple is facing.
What are the risks of couples counseling?
Couples counseling is not often effective if only one partner is involved. It takes a lot of work and commitment from both sides, and it can be devastating to work alone or struggling with a partner only half-involved, only to be finally told six years later that they want a separation or divorce. You may also discover that after finding out more about yourself and your partner that you want to end things.
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