Is Homework A Part Of Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling isn’t just for couples who are experiencing challenges. Whether you’re looking to learn how to empathize with your partner, improve your communication, or introduce more romance into your relationship, marriage counseling may help you achieve your goals. By working with a couples therapist, married couples can develop the tools to manage conflict and foster a healthy, supportive dynamic. 

If you're considering counseling, it's important to know you may be asked to complete marriage counseling homework assignments. Depending on who facilitates your therapy, you may be asked to complete marriage counseling homework assignments. This homework may encourage you to use techniques you learn during treatment outside of a therapeutic setting. In some cases, this homework can be beneficial, but some research does indicate that it can negatively impact the working alliance between couples and counselors.  

In order to understand what impact homework could have on the efficacy of your therapy, it can be helpful to start by learning what marriage counseling entails. 

What is marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling, also known as marriage therapy, is a form of couples counseling focused on helping spouses develop healthier relationships. Many couples may seek counseling to resolve a specific issue, such as a major life change, an affair, or an illness. For other couples, marriage counseling may be a tool for improving their dynamic and developing a foundation of trust, empathy, and communication. Marriage counseling can be a valuable resource for spouses at all stages of their relationships. Research has shown that 70 percent of couples who receive couples counseling see positive results. 

During marriage therapy, couples counselors may work with a couple to address sources of conflict and develop strategies for managing emotions and fostering communication. In some cases, a counselor may also ask questions about each partner’s dreams, career, sources of frustration, and other family relationships to get a full picture of their situation and needs. They can then develop a personalized treatment plan, which may include elements of several different therapeutic methods. These can include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Elements of CBT may be used in order to identify and reframe negative or unhelpful thoughts and behaviors
• Solution-focused therapy: Solution-focused therapy techniques typically aim to address specific conflicts or problems in the marriage
• Emotion-focused therapy: This form of treatment is often used to help couples better connect with and understand their emotions
• The Gottman method: The Gottman Method can help romantic partners increase intimacy and address communication issues

Depending on the circumstances, a marriage counselor may employ one or more of these techniques in order to effectively address the couple’s needs and goals.

What kinds of homework assignments do you get in marriage counseling?

The exercises a counselor recommends are often designed to help couples put what they’ve learned into practice in their daily lives. For example, spouses who have learned a specific couples therapy exercise aimed at improving communication might be encouraged to use that technique during the week whenever a communication challenge arises.

There could be a variety of other assignments a therapist might give a couple to help them get the most out of their weekly sessions. These might include: 

• Worksheets: Worksheets may focus on a variety of topics. In general, completing a worksheet can help couples create a better understanding of themselves and each other. 
• Exercises: These may be solo exercises, or they may be intended for both partners. Either way, these exercises can be an effective way of practicing skills learned in a therapy session. Examples may include active listening exercises and role-playing activities. 
• Journaling: A therapist may suggest that one or both partners keep a relationship journal as a way of expressing their thoughts and emotions. A relationship journal can also be useful for helping couples clarify their feelings, especially during periods of challenge or conflict. 

These homework assignments might be assigned to one partner or both, depending on what was discussed during therapy and what skills the counselor feels each partner needs to develop. It may be important to remember that any outside work provided by a therapist is intended to help the couple maximize their counseling experience and develop new relationship skills. Consider that this homework isn’t intended to be “busy work” but rather an important tool that can enhance the therapeutic process. Studies have shown that homework completion was a significant predictor of treatment response, and couples that complete more homework may show more improvement.

Are homework assignments any different in online marriage counseling?

As an alternative to in-person marriage counseling, online therapy has been gaining attention in recent years for its affordability and flexibility. Through online marriage counseling, a couple can connect with a licensed therapist via video call, voice call, or messaging. This allows them to attend therapy sessions virtually from wherever it’s most convenient. Traditional marriage counseling may cost as much as $200 per session, though platforms like BetterHelp offer more affordable sessions starting at $65 (based on factors such as your location, referral source, preferences, therapist availability and any applicable discounts or promotions that might apply). In addition to affordability, online therapy may appeal to couples with hectic schedules who might find it difficult to commute to in-person sessions.A common question among couples exploring online therapy is whether the outside work is any different compared to homework assigned in office-based therapy. When it comes to marriage counseling, every couple is different, so the work a therapist assigns may vary from couple to couple. Still, the types of assignments that may be given during online therapy are typically similar to those assigned during in-person therapy. Because the homework is designed to be completed outside normal therapy hours, the virtual nature of online therapy should not interfere with the therapist’s ability to assign homework.

Another common topic for couples interested in marriage counseling is whether online therapy is as effective as traditional, in-person counseling. Various studies have demonstrated that it is. For example, current research shows that therapy delivered via teleconferencing yields similar results compared to in-person couples therapy. 

Takeaway

Marriage counseling can be a useful tool for couples at all stages of their relationship. Utilizing a variety of therapeutic techniques, a counselor can help bring couples closer together, improve their communication, and find constructive resolutions to problems. Depending on a couple’s goals and needs, a therapist may also assign “homework” to be completed between sessions, which may consist of exercises, worksheets, or other activities. If you want to explore online therapy for yourself or your spouse, you can connect with a licensed counselor via BetterHelp.