Marriage Counselling: UK Options & Cost

Some may think that marriage counselling is only an option when facing the prospect of divorce or separation in a long-term marriage. However, marriage counselors are trained to support many different couples with many different challenges, including conflict, growth, major life changes, infidelity, and other struggles. Partners of all ages may benefit from this form of care, including young people and older adults. Marriage counselling can be a unique way to learn healthy communication with your partner, regardless of age, identity, or relationship structure. Below, explore marriage counselling methods for those in the UK, their cost, and how they work. 

Marriage counselling

Marriage counselling is when marriage and family therapy providers offer advice and support to married couples or people in other types of romantic partnerships. Any couple can attend relationship counselling sessions. The American Psychological Association (APA) refers to this type of therapy as couple and family psychology (CFP) because families and couples take many forms, and not all people choose to get married in a long-term relationship. 

In counselling sessions, a therapist might help their clients build healthy relationship skills, such as direct communication, active listening, and respect. They may also help the couple through a specific argument or challenge, such as a disagreement on when to have children or differing political views. 

Potential benefits of relationship counselling

Multiple studies have suggested that couples therapy can be effective in many cases. For example, a 2020 meta-analysis reports that couples therapy has recently evolved to be available to more people, including through approaches like telehealth couples treatment. It indicates that many methods have been found effective, such as emotionally focused therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. Researchers conclude the study with hope for the future of marriage therapy options. 

Do you have to be married to go to couples therapy?  

You don’t have to be married to gain the benefits of counselling. Any couple can contact a counselor for relationship support, regardless of their status. You can also get therapy with an ex-partner if you’ve divorced or separated. Divorce therapy can sometimes be helpful for those who want to talk through divorce matters, such as child custody or emotions about the separation. 

However, note that couples therapy might not be right for every situation. Experts generally don’t recommend couples therapy if your partner is abusive, as abusive partners often try to manipulate counselling sessions and control what is said. 

Types of marriage counselling in England and Wales

There are many different approaches a counselling provider may use when working with couples. Below are some of the UK's most popular counselling methods and how they can support couples. 

Gottman therapy for relationship counselling and marriage counselling

Gottman therapy is based on the Gottman Method, developed by Dr. John and Julie Gottman to help couples communicate more efficiently. This modality focuses on a visual model called the “Sound Relationship House,” which features different levels of connection. With this method, couples create “Love Maps” to learn more about each other’s inner worlds and hopes for the future. The aim is for these insights to help couples understand each other more deeply and foster intimacy. Gottman therapists offer advice, coaching, exercises, and role-playing to support clients. 

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) for relationship counselling 

Emotionally focused therapy was developed in the UK and is an option for those facing challenges related to insecure attachment or childhood traumas that impact their adult relationships. In this modality, the relationship counsellor helps the clients explore past life experiences and how they can affect the present. Empathy and emotions are highlighted in this modality, allowing couples to get to know each other through a more profound lens. 

Imago relationship counselling

Imago therapy is a unique modality developed in 1980 that focuses on transforming conflict through connection. The therapist helps clients explore their childhood relationships with love and create personal images of who they want to be as whole and healthy adults so they can show up for their partner as well. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and similar counselling modalities 

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely used therapy modalities today. It can be used in individual therapy sessions or for couples. A CBT family therapist may offer sessions focused on how thoughts, emotions, and behaviors connect and how shifting distorted thoughts may shift other variables. Other modalities related to CBT that use similar methods include dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and exposure and response prevention (ERP), which can be used for couples, individuals, and groups. 

Session overview 

Every counselling session differs depending on the method used and the unique clients. Often, in your first session, your counsellor will do your intake by requesting your insurance information (if applicable), asking about your past, and learning more about the reasons you chose to come to therapy. Some therapists may want to meet with each partner individually before talking to them together, as individuals may reveal insights alone that they don’t feel comfortable sharing in front of their partner. This method can help the therapist be more of a neutral third party and support the clients in learning to communicate these concerns to each other. 

Is marriage counselling or couples therapy free in the UK? 

The National Health Service (NHS) may sometimes offer free couples therapy under specific circumstances. Outside of the NHS, marriage counselling is typically not free. Couples with insurance also tend to have difficulty getting therapy covered, as it would be billed under one person’s insurance but would be serving two people. That said, some other options may be available.

When does the NHS cover marriage counseling in places like England and Wales? 

The National Health Service may offer couples counselling if they deem it medically necessary for one or both partners. For example, a person living with a depressive disorder may be able to receive couples therapy if their depression is impacting their relationship negatively. Whether you’ll be referred to couples therapy can also depend on availability and where you live. The NHS offers a search tool to look for couples counselors approved through their services for free. 

Finding low-cost therapy 

Low-cost therapy options may be available for those who aren’t able to or don’t wish to go through the NHS. Consider the following. 

Sliding-scale counselling

Sliding-scale therapists offer a lower session cost for those with low income. For example, they may charge only £20 an hour for clients who make under a certain amount, whereas they may charge £100 an hour for clients who can pay this rate. Some therapists charge a higher rate for people who can pay it and then apply a portion to sessions for lower-income clients so they can have a more affordable rate. 

Charities

Some charities may offer lower-cost or free therapy to those who qualify in the UK. For example, those in the Royal Navy or Royal Marines can receive free couples therapy through Relate, a charity organized by the Royal Navy and Royal Marines Charity group (RNRMC). Other charities may exist to service other specific groups.

Get professional guidance on relationship challenges

Connect with a therapist

Online counselling 

Online therapy can be a cost-effective option for finding couples therapy with a relationship counsellor to openly discuss relationship-related concerns. A platform like BetterHelp for individual sessions or Regain for couples can offer subscriptions as low as £65, billed every four weeks. Online counselling platforms provide access to a large network of UK-based therapists, offering a variety of options to help clients find a professional who meets their needs. These platforms also provide flexible scheduling, enabling individuals to connect with a counsellor at times that work best for them. Multiple studies have indicated that online therapy platforms can be effective for addressing many types of concerns. In one study, for example, the research suggests that mindfulness-based talk therapy attended online was highly effective in treating anxiety and depression. In another, online therapy was reported to be more cost-effective than some face-to-face treatments.