The Benefits Of Family Counseling And How It Works
- For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988
- For those experiencing abuse, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- For those experiencing substance use, please contact SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357
At their best, families can provide support, love, and a sense of belonging, but for many of us, our relationships with family can also be some of the most challenging. Knowing how to resolve family conflict within your current family structure may seem difficult. Regardless of your situation, family counseling may help you assess your family dynamics, navigate tough discussions receive mental health treatment, and ultimately emerge as a healthier family unit.
Coping strategies and benefits of family counseling
In this article, we’ll address some of the common obstacles to family counseling and illuminate the benefits of family therapy for families of all kinds. Finally, we’ll offer coping strategies for family-related stress and discuss how to find the right family counselor for you.
Reasons for seeking child and family therapy
Families are unique, and the reasons they may seek counseling are complex. A family may choose to enter therapy after reaching an impasse in their ability to resolve emotional or communication problems. They may also seek to identify the origins of these problems and develop strategies or family interventions to avoid them in the future.
Family therapy: Addressing conflicts and mental health conditions
In a family unit, conflict can take many forms and may occur between several family members or specific individuals. Couples may also benefit from therapy through the lens of family dynamics. Family counselors see a broad array of conflicts and health conditions, including those related to:
- Alcohol and drug use or substance abuse
- Youth behavioral concerns
- Depression
- Abuse
- Parenting conflicts
- Developmental disorders
- Intimate partner violence
While one family member may be at the center of a conflict, other family often become entangled as they attempt to help. At this stage, it may be especially helpful to consult a mental health professional who is trained in family systems theory. Family systems therapy focuses on interactions between family members and the context(s) in which the family exists. Family therapists my emphasize the systems within and around a family and identifying behavior patterns, a family counselor can help a family build resilience, rather than focusing on the negatives of one individual’s behavior.
Responding to a family crisis
When family problems are left unresolved, it can ultimately lead to a crisis, or a period of heightened family tension and imbalance. Common examples of family crisis include an unplanned pregnancy, the loss of a loved one, suicide,* a child services investigation, divorce, or incarceration.
At their height, family crises can promote feelings of stress, anxiety, and vulnerability. A family therapist typically identifies five main phases of a family crisis during family therapy sessions, which tend to be short-lived and usually last no more than six weeks altogether.
- A family crisis is triggered.
- The family recognizes the crisis as a threat.
- The family responds in a disorganized manner.
- The family searches for a solution.
- The family adopts new coping strategies, which marks the beginning of the family’s recovery.
Crises are inherently challenging, but they can also present opportunities for positive change. During these times, families may be especially open to working with family counselors, Ideally, they’ll learn new problem-solving approaches and become better equipped for future challenges.
Goals of family counseling
Family counselors are not just limited to conducting parent counseling, they also include strategic family therapy, structural family therapy, and others. They are also not just there for moments of crisis; they’re also prepared to guide the parents and the rest of the family members through smaller conflicts before they evolve into larger problems.
Goals and benefits of family counseling
While the needs of every family are different, some common goals of family therapy include:
- Defining and maintaining healthy boundaries between family
- Improving communication
- Better understanding family dynamics to improve problem-solving
- Building empathy and reducing daily conflicts
- Developing listening skills
- Learning how to recognize and honor the needs of each part of the family
Your family may have a sense of its goals prior to meeting with a family counselor, or you may develop a list of objectives after the first few sessions. Regardless of where your family begins, counseling service can provide a safe, neutral environment where the family can freely express feelings, ask questions, and generate ideas.
When to seek out family counseling
In an ideal world, family therapy is a proactive service, rather than reactive. However, families cannot always predict which “small” problems may lead to greater challenges.
With this in mind, there’s no wrong time to begin and take family counseling services; whenever you choose to consult the expertise of a marriage and family therapist or counselor, you may be making a critical step toward healthier family relationships. Both marriage and family therapy treatment plans are usually brief since they focus on specific and attainable therapeutic goals, however, how many sessions are needed depends on the family and their circumstances.
Family and marriage counselors tend to work with the “end in mind,” so that families can utilize the lessons and strategies they’ve learned outside of therapy.
Their approach tends to be solution-focused, time-limited, and personalized to the needs and conflicts of your family.
Other strategies to cope with family mental health problems
Outside of therapy sessions, a family counselor may recommend coping strategies for adults and adolescents in a family. The following are some tips and strategies that may be used as a form of “homework” to practice the skills learned in therapy sessions and can help manage mental health problems:
Practice mindfulness and breathing exercises
Mindfulness is the practice of centering yourself in the present moment. By focusing on your breathing and calming your mind, breathing exercises can help you stay mindful in stressful moments.
Plan family and child activities
These activities can be simple, at-home events, like watching a movie or cooking together.
Get active
Exercise on your own for some restorative alone time, or incorporate family into your daily movement. This could be a 15-minute walk or a dance workout—whatever gets the family moving.
Recognize your stress cues
In response to stress, we might become noticeably forgetful, lose our temper, or become tearful. By recognizing signs of stress in yourself and your family, you can intervene with stress-relieving strategies.
Lean into laughter
Laughter can reduce stress, improve mood, and promote the resilience your family needs to overcome common challenges.
Take care of your needs first
If you’re worried about family responsibilities or the mental health of a loved one, it can be tempting to prioritize their immediate needs before your own. Even as you support family through difficult times, you can make a conscious decision to take care of your basic needs. This includes adequate sleep, nutrition, and physical activity.
The benefits of online family counseling
Whether it’s a life-changing event or a series of smaller hiccups, a counselor may be able to help you identify the source of family tensions and strengthen your relationships. If you find it difficult to gather your entire family at a therapist’s office, you might try online family counseling.
Convenience as one of the benefits of family therapy online
One for the benefits of family counseling online is that regardless of each individual’s schedule, everyone can meet with a counselor from the comfort of their own personal space to receive treatment. At BetterHelp, our online therapists recognize that families come in many forms and that flexible, 100% digital therapy may work best for families as they weather various challenges. Evidence suggests that telehealth (online therapy) sessions can help make therapy more convenient. With BetterHelp, your family can contact your counselor via phone, videoconference, or in-app messaging.
Takeaway
What are the five stages of family therapy?
Although approaches vary depending on the therapist, the family, and the circumstances, building trust, demonstrating empathy, and providing a safe, supportive environment for healing are universal components of what family therapists do. The five stages are featured in several methods, including structural family therapy, family systems therapy, and strategic family therapy.
The process usually follows a framework featuring five stages:
Joining
This is the phase in which the therapist makes a connection and aligns themselves with the family to build trust and rapport. During this stage, the therapist will introduce themself and give the family some background on their expertise, then request that each family member introduce themselves and share their reasons for seeking therapy.
During the joining phase, the counselor will explain the therapeutic process and discuss prudence, expectations, and boundaries associated with the therapeutic relationship. They’ll confirm that each family member understands the level of commitment required to make change and progress.
Identify
This stage involves identifying the unique relationships and dynamics within the family structure (a technique commonly used in structural family therapy). The counselor will use assessment techniques to identify strengths, challenges, and concerns and work collaboratively with the family to establish concrete goals.
Shifts
The therapist observes the family to identify the significant conflicts that are creating strain between members. They’ll address these challenges by reframing the issue from being an individual issue to one that exists between the relationships (a technique rooted in family systems theory). This helps the counselor guide the family to focus on interpersonal rather than independent solutions.
As the family communicates during sessions, the therapist will observe the interactions, focus on the most impactful aspects, and suggest alternative, more productive, or helpful scenarios. As conflicts arise, the therapist will provide tools to help family members lower defensive attitudes, increase trust and empathy, and formulate solutions themselves. In some cases, the counselor might separately meet with individuals or pairs within the group to help facilitate the process.
Maintaining
As the family learns to communicate and manage conflict, the therapist supports and encourages the positive changes they make together. They might also adjust the direction of the therapy when appropriate to address other issues.
Termination of treatment
Once the family becomes satisfactorily self-reliant and can resolve conflicts effectively without the counselor’s intervention, they will re-evaluate the family’s position. Therapeutic services will be terminated if everyone agrees that they can move forward healthily together in cooperation.
What is the difference between family therapy and family counseling?
Family therapy and family counseling share some similarities, and the terms are often used interchangeably. For example, both types of therapy focus on helping families overcome barriers, learn to resolve conflicts, and address mental health issues (if applicable) to strengthen relationships and the family unit overall.
The primary difference lies in specificity. Counseling is a broader term that may refer to a more diverse range of services delivered by trained professionals of varying qualifications and credentials. For example, family counseling may be facilitated by a social worker, psychologist, or coach specializing in family counseling. Family therapy infers treatment delivered by a psychologist trained in specific therapy models.
Additionally, family therapy can be more intensive and address deeper issues within the family that require longer more frequent sessions. On the other hand, the counseling process is typically shorter-term and more goal driven.
What are the disadvantages of family therapy?
Many families find therapy to be a helpful, transformative tool for resolving conflict and strengthening bonds. For some, there are drawbacks that might limit its effectiveness or present challenges that individuals might not be able to overcome. Some of these include:
Limited time and financial resources
Family therapy can be costly and time-consuming, particularly if multiple sessions over an extended time are required to achieve growth and positive change. This may be especially true for larger families or those whose insurance doesn’t cover family therapy.
Resistance from family members
Some family members might be resistant to participating, feel uncomfortable engaging, or have doubts about the effectiveness of the therapeutic process. This can lead to uneven participation, where some aren’t as committed to the process. This type of imbalance can create significant barriers to the progress and effectiveness of therapy.
Discretion concerns
Maintaining discreetness in therapy with multiple family members can be challenging. This can create challenges for family members to open up and be honest about their feelings if they’re concerned about boundaries or judgment from other family members.
Emotional discomfort and stress
Uncovering and addressing profoundly personal and painful issues can lead to emotional discomfort and stress in any type of therapy. In family therapy, these types of revelations may intensify family problems and conflict between individuals before any progress is made. For some, this part of the therapeutic process might feel overwhelming, leading to a lack of participation, avoidance, or termination of therapy.
Exposure of power dynamics
Family therapy can sometimes highlight power inequalities such as manipulation, control, or abuse within families. Addressing these dynamics can be intensely painful and challenging, potentially leading to deeper conflict.
Inability to achieve independence
Some families become overly dependent on the therapist to facilitate communication and resolve issues instead of developing their own strategies and coping skills. This can hinder the therapeutic process or, in some cases, derail it entirely.
How effective is family counseling?
Multiple studies show family counseling can improve family relationships, communication, and problem-solving skills. For example, research data from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) reveals:
- Over 98% of marriage and family therapy clients have good or excellent experiences with therapy
- Nearly 90% of clients reported improvement in their individual emotional health after treatment
- Almost 2/3 of clients reported an improvement in their overall physical health
- 73.7% of children involved in family therapy showed behavioral improvements, particularly in school performance and their ability to get along with other children
Why do people seek family counseling?
Families typically engage in counseling to cope with stressors and conflicts. These might include substance use disorders, mental health conditions, relationship strife, the death or illness of a family member, or conduct issues. In some cases, families don’t necessarily seek family therapy services to address a problem but to proactively strengthen or reinforce communication and bonds within the family unit.
Sometimes, families seek help for specific problems requiring specialized care. For example, families trying to manage children or adolescents with severe behavioral issues are often referred for strategic family therapy (SFT).
What is the responsibility of family counseling?
Family counselors are responsible for providing a supportive, nonjudgmental, and safe environment where families can address and resolve problems within the family unit. They are accountable for facilitating productive interactions where family members can cultivate empathy and understanding. They are also tasked with helping families learn better communication, problem-solving, and coping skills outside therapy sessions.
What is the emotional cutoff in family therapy?
Emotional cutoff refers to an avoidance strategy in which an individual or more than one family member emotionally withdraws or distances themselves during the therapeutic process. This may occur when confronting unresolved emotional pain, conflict, anxiety, and tension.
How long should family therapy last?
How long family therapy lasts is highly dependent on the unique challenges and circumstances the family faces and the level of commitment they have to the therapeutic process. Family therapy can be a short-term process averaging 12 or fewer sessions focused on solving a specific issue(s) or a longer-term process involving months or years to address mental health disorders or more complex challenges.
When should family therapy not be used?
Family therapy may not be appropriate if there are issues around abuse, violence, or severe mental illness within the family. A lack of commitment or hostility towards therapy can also render the process ineffective. In such cases, the therapist may refer the family to professionals who specialize in addressing such types of specific issues or individual or group therapy for treatment-resistant patients.
Additionally, family therapy might not be appropriate or helpful for intimate marital issues such as infidelity or other types of marital trauma. In such cases, couples therapy may be more productive for working through those issues before integrating in treatment with the rest of the family.
What is a common problem in family therapy?
Common family issues addressed in therapy include communication problems, financial difficulties, parenting challenges, issues with stress and anger, trauma, and strife associated with addiction or mental illness.
- Previous Article
- Next Article