Celebrating Friendsgiving
Friendsgiving is a holiday dedicated to spending time with the important people in your life who aren’t family. Family holidays can be stressful for some people, but Friendsgiving can be less formal, more relaxed, and a way to show you’re thankful for your chosen community.
Friends may play an important role in individuals’ lives and contribute to well-being. Celebrating Friendsgiving can be an alternative or an addition to a traditional family Thanksgiving dinner and a way to celebrate your gratitude for your chosen family.
The history of Friendsgiving
Some may argue that the first Friendsgiving took place on the sitcom Friends in a 1994 episode. In that episode, the gang’s plans to celebrate Thanksgiving fell apart, and they ended up having a more informal meal of grilled cheese sandwiches together instead. While this meal could technically be considered a Friendsgiving, the term was never used on the show.
The popularity of the word spread as the idea took off. By 2008, it was being examined in lifestyle and think pieces online. In 2011, Bailey’s Irish Cream used the term in an ad campaign, and a Friendsgiving appeared on an episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and by 2012, it had become a standard part of popular vocabulary.
The benefits of friendship
Research shows healthy, stable friendships improve well-being and life longevity. Specifically, people with close friendships were less likely to live with depression or die from various causes, including a range of chronic illnesses and heart problems.
Friendship improves health and life longevity
Studies show that friendship changes the brain and body. One review of 28 studies found that high-quality adult friendships significantly predict well-being and protect against depression and anxiety. People with low social connections due to poor-quality relationships or loneliness are twice as likely to have a premature death, making it a risk factor that has more significant effects than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
Friendship improves the stress response
Friendship may impact how people respond to stress. People have less blood pressure reactivity when talking to a supportive friend and less heart rate reactivity when working on a challenging task with a friend by their side.
Similar brain activity
Studies have also found that friends have similar brain activity in areas that impact motivation, identity, and reward. Research using brain imaging has found that close friends have similar brain activity when watching a series of video clips, and some scientists believe they can predict who will become friends in some circumstances based on the patterns in their brain activity.
Why celebrate Friendsgiving?
Friendsgiving can be a way to honor all relationships in your life and start a tradition of honoring them in the future. Below are reasons why celebrating Friendsgiving can be a highlight of the holiday season:
- You can choose a day that suits everyone. Unlike Thanksgiving Day, there is no specific date for Friendsgiving; you can be flexible about when to hold it to ensure everyone can attend.
- Friendsgiving can be more relaxed and less formal than a family meal, so you don’t have to worry about etiquette questions or navigating tense family situations.
- The end of the year can get busy, and committing to get together to celebrate Friendsgiving ensures you and your friends are making time for one another during the holiday season.
- Everyone contributes to the preparation so the event does not cause too much stress for any one person. Someone can host the event, while others can be in charge of decorations, food, and drinks. By having a potluck meal, everyone participates in making the gathering a success without anyone having to deal with too much stress.
- Friendsgiving can be a way to start new traditions and provide a meal to look forward to every year.
How to organize a Friendsgiving celebration
There is no right way to celebrate Friendsgiving. You and your friends have the freedom to start your own traditions and celebrate them any way you want. Below are some ideas to inspire you:
- Set a theme for your Friendsgiving spread. You may stick with a traditional Thanksgiving meal with a turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes, but since this event is usually close to Turkey Day, you may want to try a different theme. Everyone can bring their favorite appetizer, make their favorite dish from childhood, or make a dish that represents their culture.
- Have a charcuterie board contest.
- Instead of dinner, plan a Friendsgiving brunch.
- Have a pie-baking contest.
- Make it a costume party, asking everyone to dress like their favorite sitcom character or someone from their favorite book.
- Turn the event into a game night by asking everyone to bring their favorite board game to play after the meal.
- Make Friendsgiving a sleepover event, watch holiday movies, and eat leftovers for breakfast.
- Set up a photo backdrop and fall-themed props and take photos to remember the evening.
- If you and your friends would rather not do the cooking, have Friendsgiving at a restaurant or banquet hall.
- Ask everyone to bring one or two acquaintances to build new friendships and expand your friend group.
Maintaining friendships with support
Maintaining friendships can be challenging, as making time for one another is not always accessible for everyone, especially during the busy holiday season when family may take up time. Working with a mental health professional may be helpful if you are looking for other ways to improve your relationships or become more comfortable building new ones. When you work with a therapist, you can learn more about maintaining boundaries, communicating, resolving conflicts, and building confidence to establish new relationships.
Those who face barriers to in-person therapy may find online therapy more accessible. When you sign up with an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can work with a qualified mental health professional from the comfort of your home at a time that fits your busy schedule.
With an online platform, you may be matched with a therapist within 48 hours, and you can change providers at any time for no fee until you find the right fit. Research has found that online therapy is effective. In one review of 14 studies, researchers noted no difference in effectiveness between in-person and online treatment.
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