Valentine's Day: Understanding Traditions, Origins, And Gifts

Valentine's Day, also known as Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is typically celebrated annually on February 14th. Though people celebrate Valentine’s Day differently all over the world, many people show their affection for others by sending Valentine's Day cards, flowers, or chocolates with messages of love. Valentine's Day is generally believed to have gotten its name from a famous saint, and its date, February 14, is from Roman festivities. The holidays on February 14 are also often represented by the Roman god Cupid, depicted with a bow and arrows to strike hearts and cast a spell of love. 

Although many may see Valentine’s Day as a day of grand gestures and elaborate dates, the celebration of Valentine's Day can go beyond romantic love. Friends and family members can exchange gifts and notes of appreciation, making it a day to celebrate relationships of all kinds. While couples may revel in their affection for each other, those who are not in romantic relationships can also find joy in the day by practicing self-love. In this way, Valentine’s Day can be a time for individuals to focus on themselves, indulge in their own hobbies and interests, and take care of their mental health. One way to do so may be to schedule an online or in-person session with a licensed therapist.

The history of Valentine's Day and Saint Valentine

The origins of Valentine's Day as a day of love, according to the Catholic Church and some historical scholars, may be traced back to ancient Rome and early Christianity (Valentine of Rome and Saint Valentine of Terni). 

The name “Valentine,” is attributed to an early Christian saint; but some historians state that some early Christian martyrs named Valentine. Though the fact that there are reportedly two saints or more all called Valentine muddled things, one legend suggests that the day started as a tribute to Saint Valentine, a priest who lived in the third century and performed secret marriages against the decree of Roman Emperor Claudius II. Emperor Claudius had forbidden young men from marrying, believing single men made better soldiers. Saint Valentine defied Emperor Claudius by officiating weddings for young lovers in secret, which ended up costing him his life and led to his recognition as a patron saint of love. In retellings of the history of Valentine’s Day, it is claimed that once, St. Valentine was captured by an angered noble. Following his capture, he befriended his jailor’s daughter, a blind girl. Eventually, through a miracle, he healed her blindness. Seeing this, his captor freed him and converted to Christianity. A letter signed by the saint to this girl reportedly ended with “Your Valentine.”

Middle Ages poets may have solidified the link between love and St. Valentine. By the 14th century, the day generally became synonymous with romantic love, a tradition possibly popularized by poet Geoffrey Chaucer. February 14th was generally already associated with love because it was believed that birds started mating on this day.

Although Pope Gelasius declared February 14th as the feast day of St. Valentine for Christians in the 5th century, it was abolished from the Roman liturgical calendar in 1969 due to uncertainty over Valentine’s true identity just after the end of the 19th century. Despite this overruling of Pope Gelasius’ declaration, the tradition of celebrating romance continued to grow, combining St. Valentine’s Day with the Roman festival to become a single holiday. 

Valentine's Day has evolved over the years, largely moving away from its religious origins as Valentine’s feast day (as Christmas became the major Christian holiday) to become more commercial, with the first mass-produced valentines appearing in the United States in the mid-1800s. Nowadays, February 14 tends to be internationally recognized as a day to express love and appreciate marriage and relationships, often with cards, chocolates, and flowers as gifts.

How people celebrate Valentine’s Day traditions in the United States

Americans often see Valentine's Day as an opportunity to show appreciation, not only for romantic partners but also for friends and family members. Each year on February 14th, Americans may celebrate by expressing their affection in multiple ways:

• Greeting cards: People may exchange Valentine's Day cards, often handmade, that contain messages of love and affection. They tend to contain famous quotes about love from historical wordsmiths like William Shakespeare or the Brownings. Boxes of mass-produced valentines are often used by children to give to their classmates.
• Flowers: Flowers tend to be a traditional gift on this day, with red roses being especially popular as a symbol of romantic love. The forget-met-not is a popular choice as well, appearing on cards and in bouquets for the occasion.
• Chocolates and candies: Sweets, and especially chocolate, can be classic gifts given to partners, friends, and even school classmates on Valentine's Day. Heart-shaped chocolate and Sweethearts are some favorites.
• Romantic dinners: Couples might have a special meal at home or dine out at a favorite restaurant.
• Other gifts: Things like imitation and sometimes real lace items and jewelry are also popular gifts for romantic partners.

Communities and businesses also frequently participate in the festivities around February 14, with stores displaying red and pink decorations and offering Valentine's Day deals. Schools might host Valentine's Day events where students exchange cards and enjoy themed activities. Saying Valentine's Day wishes on February 14 has also expanded beyond in-person exchanges to include digital messages and social media posts.

Valentine’s Day and romantic love is celebrated across cultures

Valentine's Day can be seen as a global celebration of love and affection. Other countries around the world may express their love in different ways, incorporating historical traditions alongside modern-day customs. 

Here are some examples of how Valentine’s Day is celebrated across the world: 

• England: For Valentines in England, individuals might pen songs or poems for those they admire. They might also bake pastries or other desserts in the shape of hearts for their loved ones.
• Peru: Coinciding with the carnival season, the day is usually filled with festivities and includes the tradition of giving orchids, a native flower.
• Philippines: Mass weddings can be a common occurrence, with many couples tying the knot in unison on Valentine's Day.
• Denmark: Young men and women may exchange "lover's cards," and friends and sweethearts may give pressed white flowers called "snowdrops."

Valentine's Day customs tend to be quite similar all over the world. However, each location may add its own unique touch to the celebration, influenced by its history and society.

Valentine’s Day celebrations without romantic partners

Valentine's Day is commonly associated with marriage and romance, so people often forget that it's a holiday that can celebrate all types of love. Friends, family members, coworkers, and even individuals can enjoy February 14th in various ways that do not focus exclusively on romantic relationships.

Plan a “Galentine's Day” brunch with friends

Celebrating friendship on Valentine’s Day can be just as rewarding as going on a romantic date. A Galentine's Day brunch may provide the perfect opportunity for friends to come together. They can have a meal, exchange thoughtful gifts like a poem or handmade card, or simply enjoy each other’s company.

Host a family game night with Valentine's-themed games

Family time can take on a special meaning during Valentine’s festivities. Hosting a game night with Valentine’s-themed games can offer a way to involve every member of the family. It may also serve as a chance to create new traditions and memories.

Attend a singles-only Valentine's Day party

For those who are single, attending a singles-only party can be a fun and pressure-free way to enjoy Valentine’s Day. These events can provide an opportunity to meet new people in a relaxed and friendly environment, where people can have a good time and potentially make meaningful connections.

Participate in a Valentine’s Day run or charity event

Valentine's Day can also be an opportunity to participate in activities that promote health and support good causes. A February 14 Valentine’s Day-themed run or charity event may be a fun way to celebrate love by giving back to the community. This could include a “Cupid’s Chase” 5K run, a charity walk, or any local event that combines the spirit of Valentine’s Day with community service and health.

Create a DIY craft night focused on love and friendship

A DIY craft night on or around February 14 can be a creative and fun way to celebrate Valentine’s Day with friends or family. This event could involve making handmade Valentine’s cards, creating custom jewelry, or even crafting home décor with a love theme. It may be a perfect setting for people to express their creativity while bonding with friends and family. Plus, these handmade items can make for meaningful gifts or keepsakes.

Schedule a personal spa day or pampering session

Valentine’s Day can also be a day for self-love and personal care. Booking a spa day or planning a pampering session at home can be a rejuvenating and relaxing experience. This self-focused activity may help individuals feel refreshed and valued.

Volunteer at a local shelter or community center

Finally, showing love and kindness may not only apply to those we know. Volunteering at a local shelter or community center on February 14 can allow individuals to spread joy to those in need. It can be a chance to give back and perhaps find a deeper meaning in this holiday of love.

These are just some examples to give you an idea of how to celebrate Valentine’s Day with friends and family or by yourself. There’s no limit or rule surrounding how the day should be celebrated.

Taking care of your mental health on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day can sometimes bring added stress or emphasize feelings of loneliness, but it can also be an opportunity to take care of personal well-being. Self-care activities can be valuable on February 14, whether that's through enjoying a relaxing bath, trying meditation, or treating yourself to a favorite restaurant. Self-care practices can be highly personal, so what works best may vary from person to person. Scheduling or attending a therapy session can be a valuable form of self-care.

Online therapy, when provided by qualified professionals on platforms like BetterHelp, typically has several benefits. It can offer increased reachability, eliminating lengthy commutes and empowering individuals to receive the help they deserve from the comfort of their own homes. It can also be useful for those who value comfort, which may encourage more open communication. The cost of therapy through BetterHelp ranges from $65 to $100 per week (based on factors such as your location, referral source, preferences, therapist availability and any applicable discounts or promotions that might apply) to have sessions with a qualified therapist.

Online therapy is an increasingly popular tool for reducing stress and managing mental health concerns. One study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face treatment for major depression, social anxiety disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. These results suggest that online therapy may help those confronting mental health challenges, including those involving interpersonal problems or loneliness.