How To Spend Valentine’s Day Alone: 7 Ways To Celebrate Love And Independence

While Valentine’s Day may be a romantic celebration for couples, it can be a tough time to be alone—when February 14th rolls around, it’s common for singles to feel loneliness, sadness, regret, or self-doubt, or to feel envy towards couples celebrating the holiday. 

You may wish you had a date planned or a partner to spend the day with, or perhaps you’ve recently gotten out of a relationship and are having a hard time coping with the idea of spending Valentine’s Day alone. But with the right mindset and a bit of planning, you’ll feel empowered to spend it with yourself—or even with others around. 

If you’re feeling left out on Valentine’s Day, this guide is for you. Here, you’ll learn some ways to make Love Day a fun and fulfilling occasion—even if you’re single. 

Understanding Valentine’s Day loneliness

Rethinking being alone on Valentine’s Day

While it may be common to dread Valentine’s Day and its themes of love, romance, and coupledom, a simple perspective shift can help you move past your feelings of negativity and isolation and tap into a sense of freedom and gratitude. 

Research into the impact of relationship status on well-being has found that the effect is nuanced—ultimately, your personal goals and perspectives play a crucial role in determining your well-being as a single person. So rather than dwell on what you feel you might lack, consider all that you have to be thankful for. For example, consider the following:

• Does being single allow you to spend more time with friends and family?

• Do you devote yourself to your hobbies and self-care rituals?

• Have you ended a relationship that was no longer serving you?

• Are you holding out for someone with whom you truly connect?

• Do you feel more in control of your personal and professional goals without needing to compromise with a partner?

• Are you taking this time to understand and improve yourself and your values?

• Are you enjoying the process of dating or meeting new friends?

While it may be true that relationships can bring joy, they can also be a source of pain and conflict, and opting for a positive outlook that centers your independence, personal growth, and the abundance of other meaningful relationships can help you weather feelings of loneliness on Valentine’s Day.

How to celebrate Valentine’s Day: Alone and with others

Valentine’s Day may traditionally be a celebration of romantic love, but it doesn’t have to be.  Consider these ways of fostering love and connection with those around you.

1. Spend quality time alone

While those who are coupled are spending time with each other, you might benefit from spending quality time alone. This could include:

• Taking yourself out on a “date” to a movie or restaurant

• Cooking a special meal at home

• Engaging in hobbies that bring you happiness and fulfillment 

• Starting a project

• Cleaning or reorganizing your home

• Reading a book, watching a movie, or listening to a podcast

• Going for a walk or hike

• Learning a new skill

• Journaling

However you choose to do it, staying busy can help you overcome any feelings of loneliness you may be experiencing. 

2. Focus on self-love

Valentine’s Day can also be a time to celebrate the relationship you have with yourself. You can cultivate self-love by recognizing the importance of putting your needs, affirming your self-worth, and actively working through any issues that may be driving you to seek external validation. Consider the following:

• Practice gratitude: Consider writing in a gratitude journal, doing a gratitude meditation, or simply expressing gratitude to someone close to you.

• Use positive affirmations: Positive self-talk can help you build confidence and self-esteem. Consider repeating affirmations, such as “I am loveable” or “I am strong.”

• Practice mindfulness: A mindfulness meditation can be an effective way to move through any difficult moments that could be impacting your relationship with yourself. 

• Give yourself a gift: Treat yourself to something special, whether it's a small item you've had your eye on or an experience that brings you happiness. 

• Engage in self-care habits: Exercising, cooking a healthy meal, or pampering yourself with an at-home spa night can help you feel better about yourself and remind you of your inherent worth.

3. Connect with loved ones

While you may lack romance, you can probably think of a few people with whom you have a loving bond. On Valentine’s Day, consider connecting with a close friend or family member to say an “I love you” or just a joyful moment. Your pets can also be a source of love and comfort.

4. Celebrate with friends 

Consider spending the day with friends. Socializing with your single friends can highlight the best part of being single—the freedom to enjoy the company of those you love. Consider organizing a “Galentine’s Day” or “Palentine’s” Day activity, such as:

• Taking a flower arranging class 

• Having a movie marathon

• Playing board games

• Having a wine and painting night

• Hosting a tea party

• Going for a hike

• Treating yourselves to a spa day 

• Planning future adventures or trips together

• Meeting up for coffee or a drink

5. Volunteer

Helping others can increase self-esteem and life satisfaction while reducing psychological distress. To spread love this Valentine’s Day, consider giving back to your community—you could volunteer at an animal shelter or soup kitchen, for example, or organize a park clean-up with friends. 

6. Meet someone new

Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to meet someone new. Consider attending a speed-dating event, for example, or trying a dating app to connect with another single person who may be looking to celebrate the occasion. You could also strike up a conversation with a stranger. With an open mind and a positive attitude, you might find a meaningful connection or even a new friend.

7. Travel

Research has found that traveling can benefit health and well-being. It can be a powerful way to connect with yourself and find rich, life-affirming experiences. Whether you choose to travel solo or with others, it can help you step out of your comfort zone and foster personal growth, confidence, and self-reliance. You may also find plenty of opportunities to meet new people and broaden your perspective.

On Valentine’s Day, consider taking yourself on an adventure:

• Embark on a solo road trip to the coast or mountains

• Buy a plane ticket to a new city or country

• Take a weekend getaway with friends

• Rent a hotel downtown for a “staycation” 

• Spend the day exploring a new neighborhood in your city

When—and why—to seek help for loneliness

If you’re experiencing chronic loneliness or sadness—whether on Valentine’s Day or some other day of the year—it may be worth considering connecting with a licensed therapist. In therapy, you can identify any underlying issues that may be impacting your self-esteem, relationships, or dating success, and set actionable goals for personal growth and self-improvement.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), for example, focuses on reframing negative thoughts, helping you develop healthier thinking and behavior patterns. CBT has been found effective for treating a wide range of mental health issues, though it can also be used for overcoming everyday challenges like low self-confidence, social anxiety, or even poor lifestyle habits.

Online therapy has been found to be equally as effective as traditional in-person therapy, and is generally more affordable, convenient, and flexible. Through BetterHelp, you can attend therapy from the comfort of home with a provider who has experience in your area of need, as well as attend group therapy and webinars and complete guided journaling and therapy worksheets.