Feeling Isolated At Work: Coping Strategies To Support Your Well-Being

Loneliness at work can be challenging, and it can arise in workplaces of all kinds. Whether you’re running a small business by yourself or spending every weekday in a crowded office, it’s possible to feel isolated and unhappy. If this difficulty isn’t addressed, it can have negative impacts on your performance, your happiness, and even your health. However, building the right cognitive and interpersonal skills may help you adapt and thrive. 

Establishing stronger bonds at work can often start with seemingly small interactions, such as greetings, compliments, and small talk. As you get more comfortable chatting, you can start to introduce more meaningful topics, potentially laying the groundwork for a stronger friendship. Working on your mental health through therapy may also help you gain the confidence to reach out to co-workers when it seems like you’re an outsider. 

How common is isolation at work?

Researchers are increasingly finding evidence that levels of loneliness in the workplace tend to be rising, particularly among younger workers. Some sources estimate that nearly half of employees under age 38 feel lonely at work. Large numbers of survey respondents also say they have few or no close friends in the workplace. 

This growing sense of loneliness may have been exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, but observers were already noting increasing levels of workplace loneliness before 2020. In addition, feelings of isolation don’t seem to be limited to remote workers. Many people describe feeling distant from their colleagues, even when they work with lots of people every day.

The specific role you fill in your organization may not make much difference. Company leaders can be affected by loneliness as easily as low-level employees, even if the specific social dynamics are different.

The impact of workplace isolation

Many people who feel isolated in their jobs may convince themselves that it’s not a meaningful problem and that they should just learn to “deal with it.” Yet psychological research suggests that social interaction and connection may be highly significant for human well-being. A 2022 review paper found that loneliness appeared to increase the risk for mental health challenges like depression and anxiety disorders at every stage of life.

These negative effects may extend to physical health as well. Research published in the journal Heart identified a lack of social connection as a significant risk factor for stroke and coronary heart disease.

While the workplace may not be the only arena where people can form healthy social networks, many people spend a significant portion of their time there. Studies suggest that feeling disconnected from others at work can decrease self-esteem and psychological well-being. 

Feelings of isolation could also take a toll on job performance. When team members don’t have a strong sense of connection and cohesion, the communication necessary for effective action can be impaired, potentially leading to lower-quality work. 

How can you feel less lonely at work?

The suggestions described below might not work for every person or every job environment, but they may help you overcome feelings of workplace isolation and forge stronger connections.

Start with the small things

You don’t necessarily need a deep, heartfelt conversation with a close friend to reap the benefits of interpersonal connection. Recent research has found evidence that even minor social interactions can measurably improve mood and well-being. Getting closer to your co-workers could begin with something as simple as greeting them with a smile and a “Good morning!” each day. 

Once this becomes an established routine, you could try expanding these interactions by asking how they’re doing, talking about the weather, or discussing upcoming tasks. This might not seem like much progress at first, but you may be surprised at how easily a few minutes of small talk each day can develop into a stronger friendship.

Find ways to interact remotely

Even if you’re a remote worker who’s physically isolated from your teammates, there may be ways you can build a sense of camaraderie. For instance, try making a point of logging into video chat meetings a few minutes early and taking the opportunity to chat with anyone else who’s already signed in.

You could also try to organize some less formal digital interactions. These could take many forms, from a group messaging thread for socializing to a monthly online trivia game outside of work hours.

Offer compliments and thanks

A common reason for feeling lonely at work is being unsure of how to approach your colleagues. Many people worry that they don’t have enough in common with others to start a conversation. However, studies have identified some interactions that are highly likely to be well-received: compliments and expressions of gratitude. 

If you look for opportunities to say positive things about your co-workers, you may find that they quickly start warming up to you. Some work-appropriate and effective options can include the following:

• Praising their performance on a shared task
• Thanking them for helping you or explaining something to you (even something minor)
• Complimenting fashion choices 
• Offering thanks for taking the time to talk
• Admiring a decoration at their workstation

Use your shared environment

Another way to start conversations with teammates may involve taking advantage of the one thing you know you have in common: working for the same company. 

Commiserating about the day-to-day stresses of your job can be an effective way to bond, as can swapping funny stories about things that happen in the workplace. If you’re at a loss for something to say about your current role, you could talk about differences with previous jobs, sharing observations or memories from those earlier work experiences.

Share your deeper thoughts and feelings

Another social factor people often underestimate is how open others are to deep and meaningful discussions. This can lead colleagues to stick with surface-level conversations, each one assuming that the other person won’t be interested in their real thoughts or emotions. However, experiments show that people tend to enjoy talking about the “big questions” more than they expect — even with strangers.

Once you’ve established a habit of exchanging pleasant greetings with your co-workers, you can start volunteering information that lets them get to know you a little better. If you’re feeling happy or having a tough time due to something meaningful in your personal life, you can mention this to someone else on your team. You might also try to spark a conversation with an open-ended question you find interesting, such as, “What would you tell your college-aged self if you could?” or “What’s something you’re determined to do before you die?”

There’s no guarantee this will lead to a positive interaction, but the odds might be higher than you suspect. These kinds of talks can often enable you to stumble upon shared interests or discover a sense of humor in someone you thought of as stern and serious.

Talk with management about difficult co-workers

In some cases, a sense of isolation at work can result from toxic people rather than simple awkwardness. No one may be obligated to be your friend at work, but if someone is actively creating an unpleasant environment through insults, malicious gossip, or other hostile behavior, it may be a good idea to bring it up with a supervisor. 

How you approach this conversation can make a major difference. It’s generally best to avoid the appearance that you’re simply there to complain about a personal conflict. Instead, you’ll likely want to maintain a calm tone, provide specific instances of inappropriate behavior, and explain your impressions about how this behavior impacts team cohesion and performance.

Nurture connections outside of the work environment

Though the suggestions above can be helpful, some people may still find they’re unable to forge strong bonds in their workplace. That’s one reason it can be helpful to have hobbies that let you interact with other people. Research suggests that group-based leisure activities, such as team sports or book clubs, can compensate for feelings of isolation at work. 

Maintaining strong connections with family members and old friends may have a similar effect. If you have a rich and fulfilling social life outside of the office, you may be okay with a job that’s just a job.

Take steps to maintain your mental health

Psychologists have identified many positive habits that can help you build up your resilience, self-esteem, and well-being. Adopting some of these practices may make it easier to cope with a feeling of isolation, and they may also lower some of the mental barriers that can make it hard to connect with strangers.

Some examples include the following:

• Positive self-talk: Experiments in athletes show that talking to yourself in a supportive way rather than criticizing yourself harshly may improve anxiety, confidence, and performance.
• Meditation: Meditating regularly may help with both overall happiness and perceived social support at work. 
• Getting to sleep on time: Making sure to get enough sleep may have a significant impact on your sense of personal competence and your feelings of well-being on the job.
• Talking to a therapist: Evidence-based psychotherapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be effective at reducing feelings of loneliness.

If in-person therapy isn’t accessible or convenient for you, you might consider trying online therapy instead. With online therapy, you can attend sessions with a licensed therapist from the location of your choice at a time that fits your schedule, even if that’s outside of typical office hours.

A 2020 study investigated the efficacy of online therapy for loneliness. Results suggested that an online intervention could significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and social anxiety while improving overall quality of life.