How To Celebrate The New Year After Losing A Loved One: Coping Strategies For Grief

Losing a loved one can be one of life’s most painful experiences. While you may take solace in knowing that the pain of grief is the result of your love for that person, it can be nonetheless challenging to imagine life without them. This pain can be especially pronounced around holidays, anniversaries, and life milestones. 

If you have lost a loved one this past year or years ago, the prospect of entering the whole new year without your loved one may be especially upsetting. While nothing may fully alleviate your grief, it may be possible to lessen its impact on your day-to-day life in your first new year without them. In addition, you may be able to use the new year as an opportunity to grow as a person while honoring the memory of your loved one. 

Ways to celebrate the new year while living with grief 

If you have lost a loved one, having a happy New Year can seem impossible. However, it may still be helpful to explore how you can celebrate the year ahead after your loss. From honoring them to celebrating in their absence, there are various tried-and-true strategies for entering the new year with a sense of peace, hope, and remembrance, including but not limited to the following:

Remember your loved one

In the wake of loss, it can be tempting to avoid memories that might incite grief and sadness. However unpleasant these feelings may be, you might find that remembering—and celebrating—your loved one helps you translate that grief into gratitude for what they brought to your life. 

Consider implementing memories and honoring the joy and love the person brought you. For example, you might try hanging a picture of them in your home on New Year’s or sharing memories with others who knew them. You might also find it helpful to find ways of remembering them that reflect their impact on your life, such as planting a memory garden or creating a memory box with pictures and mementos of your relationship. 

Balance grief and celebration

It can be challenging to imagine celebrating a happy New Year when you’re going through the grief process. It might seem like you’re living a bad dream or moment that never ends, especially with the upcoming year stretching out in front of you. Though others may be approaching New Year's festivities with a sense of excitement, you might instead try embracing the range of emotions you feel as you begin the new year without your loved one. This can be an opportunity to consider balancing your grief with celebration over the coming year. 

Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and other significant events may be times of happiness and mourning on your grief journey. Holding space for these complex feelings may become the norm as you adjust to life in your loved one’s absence. You might look for ways to include their memory in your celebrations, such as with a toast, song, prayer, or tribute. However, you can also celebrate or mourn by taking a moment away from the crowd to process your feelings.

Create new traditions and rituals

Another way to honor your loved one in the coming year is by creating new holiday traditions in their honor. This could mean lighting a candle for your loved one or starting a memory jar where you and your family write down your favorite memories from throughout the year to be read during the holiday season. 

You might also think about setting a New Year’s resolution of implementing daily rituals to help you process your emotions and celebrate your loved one. Some people may find that it helps to spend time each morning in quiet reflection, even if it’s just a few minutes. You can also share a memory or a thought with them, either aloud or in your mind, or write a brief note to them in a journal each night. This daily ritual can serve as a grounding reminder of your connection, helping you carry their memory with you throughout the day in a comforting way.

Reflect and look forward

While the end of the year can mean different things to different people, it is often a time to look back on the year’s highs and lows while setting intentions for the future. However, this process might be overwhelming in the wake of a significant loss. It may seem like the loss has defined the past year, and grief may define the present and seem to extend into the new year. However, you may also have experienced significant personal or spiritual growth in dealing with the passing of your loved one, and it can be helpful to acknowledge those changes and triumphs.

As New Year's Day approaches, try to set some intentions for yourself that focus on healing, growth, and self-compassion. Some may find it helpful to imagine what their loved one would have wanted for them and commit to living in a way that honors the deceased. While death can lead to spending a lot of time thinking about the past, the new year can also be a time to shift your focus toward your current experience and consider the road ahead.

Take care of yourself

Grief can seem all-consuming at times, and it is not uncommon for self-care to fall by the wayside after the death of a loved one. Physical health and mental health are closely related, and maintaining healthy habits can play a significant role in helping you manage each day while carrying the weight of loss. A balanced diet, restful sleep, regular exercise, and personal grooming habits can lift your mood and remind you of your humanity. 

Although it can be challenging to keep up with positive or healthy habits during the bereavement process, try to prioritize your self-care routine while being realistic about what you can manage. Set goals for yourself, even ones as simple as walking in nature or making a home-cooked meal. If you have been finding it difficult to maintain good habits, the new year can be a time to set positive intentions and goals for the future. Try habit tracking, setting SMART goals, or finding a friend for mutual support and accountability.

Seek support from family members, friends, or a counselor

Experiencing loss alone can be especially difficult. Social support is known to be one of the most crucial aspects of coping with grief effectively. Your support network may offer practical assistance, allowing ample time for you to feel your loss without having to worry about daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, and shopping. 

Emotional support from family members and friends may also be beneficial. Try to surround yourself with people with whom you can discuss your feelings, share memories, and cry. Don’t be afraid to ask empathetic family, friends, and coworkers for support—you may find that they are happy to do what they can to help, even if it means lending a listening ear.

If you need additional support, it may be worth talking to a grief counselor. These professionals specialize in helping people navigate life after loss and can offer a safe space to express your feelings, suggest coping strategies, and guide you through the grief process. 

What to expect in grief counseling

Grief counseling is a type of therapy for those who have experienced the death of a loved one. Grief counselors often have a profound understanding of the bereavement process, with special training and experience in helping people process the unique pain of loss. 

In grief counseling, you might expect to discuss your relationship with the person who passed away, the potential trauma of losing them, and how your grief is affecting you. Grief counselors can also help you identify more complex issues, such as prolonged grief disorder (complicated grief) or depression. They may use techniques from several therapeutic approaches, such as humanistic, narrative, or cognitive-behavioral therapy. 

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Alternative support options 

If you are experiencing the loss of a loved one, you may benefit from attending grief counseling online. The intense and complex emotions surrounding loss can sometimes make it challenging to make it to appointments. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp offer the option to receive support from the comfort of your home. Extensive research has found that attending therapy online is as effective as face-to-face therapy. 

Online platforms may offer some additional advantages to those dealing with grief, as membership often includes contacts to grief support groups, online journaling, and daily messaging with your therapist. You may also benefit from flexible scheduling outside of traditional business hours, allowing you to balance your daily needs and responsibilities with your commitment to healing.