How To Support Your Teen’s Mental Health During National Teen Self-Esteem Month
Self-esteem is typically defined by the American Psychological Association as “the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive.” This could include how one feels about their physical appearance, traits, capabilities, accomplishments, and overall value. In general, the better one perceives themselves, the higher their self-esteem.
Although self-esteem can be important for people of any age, a growing number of teenagers aged 13 to 18 may be experiencing mental health challenges today. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), mental health behaviors and habits established in adolescence often carry over into adulthood, potentially making this stage in a person’s life especially important for their long-term mental health journey.
Initiatives like National Teen Self-Esteem Month, which is usually recognized each year in May, were primarily developed to raise awareness and address common self-esteem challenges for teens and support teens developing positive self-esteem and self-care habits. You can help your teenager cultivate healthy self-esteem by being kind to them, yourself, and others, supporting their hobbies and passions, and helping them seek professional support if needed. Online therapy can be a convenient way for both parents and teens to connect with a licensed therapist.
Self-esteem in teenagers
The teenage years are often a transitional period in a person’s life, generally defined by puberty and situated firmly between childhood and adulthood. A teenager may have more independence than a child, sometimes beginning to drive or date. Many people begin their first jobs as teenagers and face increased educational expectations with college readiness programs. Despite their growing freedoms, however, a teenager may still be treated like a child in many ways, with chores, curfews, and other rules set by their parents or guardians. This disconnect - being treated like children with adult responsibilities and expectations - can create impossible societal standards that can challenge a teen’s self esteem and self worth.
As can be expected, with so many simultaneous life changes often come challenges. Let’s discuss some of the common challenges teenagers today might face.
Mental health conditions
Anxiety, depression, and eating disorders can all be prevalent in teenagers today. Recent research reveals that approximately 32% of young people aged 13 to 18 may experience anxiety, 13% of 12- to 17-year-olds may experience depression, and almost 3% of 13- to 18-year-olds may experience an eating disorder. Mental health conditions can harm self-esteem and affect nearly every part of a teenager’s life, from their schoolwork to their relationships and future plans.
Peer pressure
Teenagers might experience pressure from their peers to engage in potentially harmful or illegal activities, such as drinking alcohol, using various substances, and having sex. They might sense that they’re obligated to participate in these activities in order to fit in and maintain friendships or social status, even if these actions go against their own wishes. These pressures can be harmful to a teenager’s self-esteem whether or not they choose to participate.
Bullying
Bullying can take many forms, including verbal, physical, social, and cyberbullying. The effects bullying can have on teenagers may last into adulthood and can include fear, low self-esteem, and the development of mental health conditions.
Additionally, teens who are bullied may have a higher risk of academic difficulty or dropping out of school.
Social media
Academic pressures
Schoolwork often becomes more difficult in high school, and the added pressures of advanced placement (AP) classes or college admissions exams can be extremely stressful for some students. Underachieving or believing they’re underachieving can be harmful to a teenager’s self-esteem. Similarly, being unsure of what one wants to do after high school can also impact self-esteem.
Home life stressors
Teenagers may also face a number of stressors in their home lives. For example, they might have trouble coping with the divorce of their parents or experience strained relationships with family members. Some teens may live with a blended family that includes stepparents and stepsiblings, or they may struggle to manage challenges like family income troubles, switching schools, or other difficulties. Any of these factors and their associated impacts may contribute to low self-esteem.
How strong and positive self-esteem can support mental health
High self-esteem tends to be strongly associated with good mental health. Findings from a 2017 study suggests that high self-esteem may predict “fewer symptoms of both anxiety/depression and attention problems” in adolescents aged 13 to 18.
In addition to its direct benefits, high self-esteem can also have indirect impacts on mental health by improving other aspects of life. Some ways in which high self-esteem might benefit a teenager’s life include the following:
Improved physical health
Higher-quality relationships with others
Better perceived social support
Better academic engagement
Higher levels of academic self-efficacy
National Teen Self-Esteem Month
As discussed, an individual young person’s self-esteem can have lasting impacts on their mental health and quality of life. As a result of the growing struggles teens today may face, the New York-based nonprofit I Am Worth More established National Teen Self-Esteem Month to raise awareness of the importance of this issue.
Recognized each year in May, National Teen Self-Esteem Month can serve as an opportunity to raise awareness, promote resources, organize events, and encourage activities that build self-esteem in teenagers. Organizations are generally encouraged to plan events locally or virtually for teens in their community, while the team at I Am Worth More typically covers activities and resources throughout the month.
Every year, a theme is established as well. In 2021, the theme was “We Move,” which primarily encouraged youth to focus on how they could move through challenges. In 2023, the theme was H.A.R.M.O.N.Y., which stood for:
H - Healthy state of mind
A - Aligning with purpose
R - Resisting what doesn’t bring me joy
M - Making me a priority
O - One breath at a time to realign
N - No! To any and all things that dishonor me
Y - Yearn to be a better version of who I was the day before
Teenagers were encouraged to select a letter to explore throughout the month in order to create more harmony within themselves. The theme for 2024’s National Teen Self-Esteem Month has not yet been announced.
Tips to boost your teenager’s self-esteem
Although National Teen Self-Esteem Month may officially take place in May, self-esteem and mental health support can be year-round efforts. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or another important figure to a teenager in your life, consider the following ideas to boost their self-esteem, support their mental health, and help them build a healthy outlook on themselves and their futures.
Encourage them to practice positive self-talk
The way we speak to ourselves can heavily influence the way we feel about ourselves. By encouraging your teen to pay attention to their inner monologue and challenge anything unkind they may say to themselves, they may replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk, potentially improving their self-esteem as a result.
Challenge negative statements they make about themselves
If you hear your teenager speaking poorly about themselves, you might gently challenge those statements. You could ask them why they feel that way or whether they truly believe what they’re saying. By getting to the root of those statements, they may start to see themselves in a better light.
Be kind to them
Consistently treating your teenager with kindness and respect can encourage them to treat themselves the same way. Additionally, you might make it clear that your love for them is unconditional as opposed to being tied to grades, success, or other factors. Be sure to keep open lines of communication and be clear that communicating with you won’t result in punishment.
Be kind to yourself and others
Teenagers tend to be very cognizant of how we speak about ourselves and those around us. If they notice the adults in their lives being critical of their own appearance or actions – or regularly criticizing others – they might be more likely to fear judgment and criticism and be harder on themselves as a result. Conversely, if they notice adults engaging in positive self-talk and complimenting others, they may be more likely to mimic those behaviors as well.
Avoid comparing them to others
It can be common for teenagers to compare themselves to others, whether on physical appearance, academic success, or other factors. They’re constantly building new relationships and learning new social rules, which can make it feel like they need to hold themselves to impossible standards. Instead of contributing to those feelings by comparing them to others as well, you might make it clear that you love your teenager exactly as they are.
Forgive mistakes and failures
Mistakes can be human, and failure is often a part of life. However, it can often have harmful effects on our self-esteem. Instead of dwelling on these situations or watching your teenager dwell unnecessarily, you might let them know that you understand what they’re going through and that you are proud of them, no matter what. Additionally, you might encourage them to get back out there and try again.
Support their hobbies and passions
A person’s teenage years are often when they begin to discover and explore their own interests independently from those of their family. Even if you don’t understand their hobbies, you might engage with them in whatever way you can and encourage them to continue developing their interests, which can build their self-confidence and boost their self-esteem.
Consider therapeutic options
The teenage years are often difficult and confusing. At times, teenagers may believe nobody understands what they’re going through. As such, many teens might benefit from working with a therapist specializing in teenage mental health to build their self-esteem and tackle other challenges they might be facing. Their particular expertise can help the teen find the support they need.
Parents and caregivers may benefit from seeing a therapist as well. A licensed mental health professional can help them better understand what their teenager may be experiencing and develop strategies to support them during this stage of their life and beyond.
Benefits of online therapy
Being a teenager or the parent of a teenager often means having a busy schedule, which can make attending in-person therapy sessions difficult. Online therapy might be a helpful alternative for professional mental health support.
Several online therapy platforms may be available to meet your specific needs. BetterHelp is generally available for people aged 18 and older, while TeenCounseling can be an option for people aged 13 to 19 with the consent of a parent or guardian. Both services can match you with a licensed therapist based on your current needs, preferences, and location. Once matched, you can meet with your therapist from anywhere with an internet connection over video, phone, or in-app messaging.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Research has shown that online therapy can be an effective treatment method for those struggling with self-esteem. One study measured the outcomes of adolescents who attended internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and found that they usually had significantly higher levels of self-esteem post-treatment compared to the control group. Additionally, treatment tended to positively impact self-compassion and quality of life while reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety.
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