I'm Alone On Christmas. What Do I Do? Ways To Celebrate The Holidays By Yourself
The holidays can be an emotionally packed time of the year, especially on Christmas, when it may seem that everyone is connected with family. However, if you’re alone on Christmas, there are ways to make the most of your holidays and connect with yourself. By addressing mental health challenges, practicing self-care, and starting fun, independent traditions, you can enjoy the holidays entirely by yourself, whether you are alone by choice or not.
Mental health and the holidays: Why are the holidays more difficult?
say their stress increases more during the holidays than any other time of year. In addition, with increased rates of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) during the holiday season, people may be more likely to experience depression during Christmas in the United States, where many states have a cold and dark climate in December. Combined with more financial burdens, busy workdays, and family stressors, the holidays can be challenging for many people.
For those who don’t have anyone over the holidays, holiday loneliness can be an issue, leading to higher rates of depression. Harvard reports that this loneliness may be worse after the COVID-19 pandemic, which involved social trauma that impacted many, especially those who lost family members and loved ones.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Because the media often portrays holidays as having to look a certain way, people may fear missing out if they see other people enjoying the season when they aren’t. For this reason, having ways to cope if you’re alone on Christmas can be an act of self-care.
Ways to practice self-care when alone on Christmas
Practicing self-care can be a way to cope with stress, depression, anxiety, or other challenges on Christmas. Below are a few self-care practices to try.
Pamper your five senses
Consider spending some time pampering all five of your senses. Below are some suggestions on ways you might do so:
- Sight: Wear a beautiful outfit, put on makeup you enjoy, watch a film or TV show, look outside your window, go to a beautiful natural area, or read a book.
- Scent: Light a candle or incense, bake pleasant-smelling goods, cook an aromatic dinner with many spices, or wash your clothes and smell them= out of the dryer.
- Sound: Listen to your favorite playlist, play white noise, or listen to nature sounds.
- Touch: Wear comfortable pajamas, change your bedsheets, wear slippers, pet your animals, hug someone you love, put on soothing lotion, partake in a facial routine, or take a bath or shower with soaks.
- Taste: Try a new dessert, order takeout, eat a healthy snack, practice mindfulness with taste, or try a new food.
Practice journaling
Journaling is one way to process emotions and get them off your mind in a controlled way. Consider trying the following journaling prompts:
- Write about your favorite memory this year.
- Write about your achievements from the year.
- Brainstorm ways to build community.
- Write about what you’re most grateful for this year.
Keep your routine
Not everyone who is alone on Christmas wants to celebrate. If you’re not looking forward to the celebration, consider treating your Christmas like any other day of the year. You might try to keep your regular schedule as much as possible. If you can’t work on Christmas, you might use the day off to work on a project or get extra rest.
Fun ways to spend Christmas alone
If you’re worried about being alone on Christmas because you don’t think it will be fun or memorable, consider the following tips.
Make your own traditions
If you’ve only ever had traditions with family or partners, consider making a Christmas tradition you can practice on your own. For example, you can start the day by going on a morning walk in a park with your dog and then get a coffee or tea and read a book at home alone. As evening approaches, you might make a delicious meal and dessert and enjoy it by the window while listening to a Christmas music soundtrack at home or while watching Christmas films. These are just suggestions. You might personalize your plan and make it your own.
Volunteer and give back to your community
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has a featured article showing that volunteering and giving back to your community can positively impact your mental well-being. Generosity may improve your self-esteem and help you connect with your community. Consider contacting local nonprofits to see if anyone needs volunteers on Christmas. Often, soup kitchens and food banks offer holiday meals to people without homes on Christmas. You may be able to donate food or support the distribution of goods. You can also give back to your community by baking cookies for your neighbors or leaving small Christmas gifts for all the people on your street.
Buy mystery gifts online
If you enjoy the excitement of opening presents on the holidays, consider buying yourself mystery gifts online from a small online company or from online artists. When the gifts arrive, you can unwrap them on Christmas and be surprised by what you received.
Take a solo trip
A solo trip can be a fun way to celebrate Christmas on your own in a new environment to distract you from loneliness and other challenges. You might consider booking a Christmas cruise or vacation rental for a few days. You can even rent a hotel room or cabin nearby if you don’t want to travel to a new place for the holidays. Just changing your environment may be helpful.
The benefits of being alone on the holidays
How to build your community
If you’re alone on the holidays because you experience difficulty finding community, there are a few ways you can start to build up your social circle within the coming year. The following are just a few:
- Attend social meetup groups from apps like MeetUp.
- Attend a dinner with strangers through the Timeleft app.
- Talk to people in online social media groups dedicated to your areas of interest.
- Reach out to acquaintances and old friends to plan a hangout.
- Go to a local event and talk to other people who came alone.
Finding virtual connections
Virtual connections can also be helpful over the holidays. If you’re alone because your loved ones are far away, consider having a video call with them while you eat dinner. If you don’t have anyone to call, you could join an online class, organize a virtual gift exchange, or try an online holiday-themed scavenger hunt.
Mental health support options
Another way to connect over the holidays is to talk to a therapist, but many therapists don’t work over the holidays. In these cases, an online therapy platform may be beneficial. Through an online platform, you can set session times at a time that works for you, including outside standard business hours. In addition, you can work with a therapist via phone, video, or live chat sessions from home, which allows you to talk to someone over the holiday season without having to drive to an office in the cold.
Studies show that online therapy may be especially effective for people experiencing anxiety and depression, which can be common over the holidays. In one study, researchers concluded that an online therapy was effective in reducing these symptoms and improving clients’ quality of life.
Takeaway
Frequently asked questions
Is it okay to be alone for Christmas?
There are no rules on how you should celebrate Christmas. Being alone on Christmas is okay and normal, and if you would prefer social isolation on this holiday, you don’t have to spend time with anyone. If you don’t want to be alone on Christmas and feel lonely, there are ways you can avoid being alone and bring joy to others, such as connecting with a virtual community, volunteering with a local charity, organizing a local event, making gifts for your local nursing home, or starting new traditions with friends. Still, being alone on the holidays doesn’t mean anything bad about you.
How do I deal with being alone at Christmas?
If being alone on Christmas is difficult for you, there are a few steps you can take to cope, including the following:
- Consider joining an online or in-person support group
- Join an online event for the holidays
- Attend Christmas festivities at a local public event
- Look for community events where other people who are alone on the holidays get together for a meal, Christmas movies, or other fun activities
- Say “Merry Christmas” by making Christmas treats for your neighbors, a soup kitchen, or a local nursing home
- Start your own traditions with yourself
- Journal about your feelings that arise when alone
- Write letters to those you love who live far away
- Spend the night watching TV and old Christmas movies with your pet or cuddled up in a blanket
- Take a long walk and listen to Christmas music
How do you celebrate Christmas if you are alone?
You can celebrate Christmas alone the same way you would spend it with loved ones. If you love Christmas, go all out on the decorations, food, and gifts, even if just for yourself. You can set the dinner table for yourself, make special meals, and listen to Christmas music. If you’re alone because you don’t have family, consider inviting a friend over for a meal. Some friend groups might host a Christmas gathering or party to spend time together. You don’t have to celebrate Christmas in a traditional way, and your Christmas get-together doesn’t have to occur on the actual holiday if you don’t have time or other people are with their families.
Where can I spend Christmas alone?
Whether you travel for the holidays or decide to stay home, below are some ways you might choose to spend Christmas alone:
- Take a trip to a destination by yourself
- Visit family or friends abroad
- Stay home
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter
- Go to a shopping mall (if it’s open)
- Check apps like Airbnb for holiday experiences you can book
- Rent a motel room or vacation rental in your city for a change of scenery
- Go on a hike (wear winter gear if it’s cold out)
- If you have one, take your dog to a dog park and buy presents for them
- Do a charity drive or pick a child from a Christmas tree charity project to shop for
- Go on a Christmas cruise
What percentage of people spend Christmas alone?
There is no exact study showing how many Americans will spend Christmas alone each year. However, in 2023, a quick study of New York residents found that over one million spent the holidays alone. You’re not the only person alone for the holidays. If you live in a big city, you might consider organizing an event for other single or alone people to come together to spread holiday cheer and share a meal. If you don’t have time to organize an event this year, plan ahead and make next year’s holiday one to remember.
Is it OK to celebrate Christmas alone?
It is okay and normal to spend Christmas alone. Whether you’re struggling with social skills or forget to plan for the holidays, there are ways to make your Christmas full of joy regardless of who is present. One added bonus of being alone on the holidays is that you can do whatever you want, regardless of whether others are interested. For many people, spending the holidays with others is a source of stress, so being alone can help you avoid the stress that can accompany conflict or family matters.
How can I be happy on Christmas?
Being happy on Christmas is often about mindset. If you’re alone on Christmas when you didn’t expect to be, feeling lonely or sad can be expected. However, instead of thinking negative thoughts about the experience and letting it ruin your holiday, consider thinking of new and unique ways to celebrate. List out all of the benefits of being alone on Christmas, as well as some of the benefits you wouldn’t be able to have if someone was with you. Then, brainstorm some ideas of ways to celebrate on your own. If you don’t want to be alone, you might consider helping others by volunteering your time to a local shelter or non-profit. Giving joy to others is one way to find joy in yourself.
Is it okay to skip Christmas?
It is okay to skip Christmas if you don’t want to celebrate. Many people don’t celebrate Christmas for a variety of reasons, whether religion, work, or being alone. However, you don’t have to skip Christmas because you’re alone if you don’t want to. There are many ways to celebrate the holidays, and they don’t have to look a certain way.
How do I deal with lonely feelings on Christmas?
First, address your emotions. Ask yourself where the loneliness comes from. What desires do you have that didn’t come true? Then, ask yourself how you can make the best of your situation as it is. Can you find a way to enjoy your time with yourself? Do you want to make cookies to give to your neighbors? Is there another way you can give back to your community? Practice self-care and be nice to yourself.
How do you tell your family you want to spend Christmas alone?
You don’t have to give your family a reason on why you want to spend Christmas alone if you’re setting a boundary with them. Just let them know what you’ve decided and that you hope they’ll respect your decision. You can remind them you love and care for them if that seems appropriate for the situation.
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