MBTI And Personality Test Compatibility: Exploring Personality In Relationships

Various personality theories have been developed to explore how and why people act the way they do. Temperament, behavior, and mood often factor into personality, which is generally viewed as a stable state of being from early childhood until the end of life. One theory looking at these traits is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which categorizes individuals into 16 personality profiles. Couples might benefit from using these test results to understand compatibility, connection, and ways to improve communication. Individual or couples therapy may offer further insight and guidance.

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What is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)? 

The MBTI test was developed by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. They looked at ways to categorize personality traits that could be easily understood and might lead to improved communication and reduced conflict. The first official MBTI test was published in 1962, and it has since been updated, with the most recent version completed in 2019.

The MBTI generally categorizes individuals into 16 categories, including the following: 

1. INFP
2. INTP
3. INFJ
4. INTJ
5. ISFP
6. ISTJ
7. ISFJ
8. ISTP
9. ESTJ
10. ENTJ
11. ESFJ
12. ENFJ
13. ESTP
14. ESFP
15. ENTP
16. ENFP

Each type is typically categorized by extroversion/introversion (E/I), sensing/intuition (S/N), thinking/feeling (T/F), and perception/judgment (P/J). This test can be used to see how people might interact with others, how compatible they may be in certain relationships, and how they may react to common life events. The MBTI is often used in career settings to understand the dynamics of workplace teams as well. 

MBTI is a personality theory, meaning that it has not yet been proven 100% accurate. However, peer-reviewed studies have found that the MBTI appears to be evidence-based in evaluating the personality types of individuals in professional leadership positions. 

Some people may prefer other personality tests, such as the “Big Five” test, the love languages test, or the Enneagram, as these tests are also frequently considered reliable in predicting individuals' personality traits and communication habits.

Determining personality type compatibility based on the MBTI

Predicting compatibility between two people in a romantic relationship may be possible using the MBTI. The following discussion on how personality types interact may be viewed as entertainment and may not necessarily discern whether individuals will have a successful relationship. Still, the following information may be fun to review for couples looking to better understand each other and improve communication. 

Extroversion and introversion (E/I)

Introverts and extroverts in a relationship may face unique challenges and benefits. For example, an extrovert may guide an introvert in communication, taking risks, and opening up socially. An introvert may support their extroverted partner in learning about their inner world and becoming more comfortable with silence. However, challenges may arise if one partner hopes to go out and socialize together and the other wants to stay home and be alone. Conflict and accusations might occur in these scenarios, which could point to incompatibility.   

Introverts dating introverts and extroverts dating extroverts may find it easier to understand each other, although there may not be as much room for growth and learning in these scenarios, as both people may enable each other’s habits. 

Sensing and intuition (S/N)

Sensors tend to interact with their environments directly, using their physical senses and the stimuli they can tangibly understand to navigate the world. Intuitive people typically follow their instincts and may take risks without considering fact-based outcomes. They are often empathetic and connected to their inner worlds. 

When dating an intuitive person, a sensor may struggle to understand their partner’s risk-taking or intuitive nature. The sensor may ask the intuitive to wait to take steps until they’ve planned them out or have seen results. The intuitive may want the sensor to be less strict about how they react and more focused on the future. 

Sensory partners may help intuitive partners by assisting them in grounding themselves and focusing on the moment at hand. An intuitive person may help a sensor by showing them that risks sometimes lead to rewards. 

Thinking and feeling (T/F)

Thinkers in relationships often focus on logic, facts, and ideas instead of how they feel. Feelers tend to be more emotionally driven and empathetic, frequently leading the way with their hearts instead of their heads. Those in a relationship with different styles in this area may struggle to understand each other during conflict. The feeler may react by talking about their emotions, whereas the thinker may struggle to validate them, thinking only about solutions to the problem.

Both individuals might find each other cruel or unhelpful when conflicts occur. However, these different personality profiles may benefit both people by teaching them how to meet in the middle. The thinker may benefit from learning to express and label their emotions, whereas the feeler may benefit from making rational choices, even when uncomfortable emotions arise.

Judgment and perception (J/P)

People with the judgment trait of the MBTI profile may judge others and the world around them, using their own experiences to come to conclusions about what they’ve perceived. People with the perception trait may perceive and become aware of what occurs around them, being particularly sensitive to sensory information. These pairings may struggle to understand each other and how they approach the world. 

A person with the judgment trait may struggle to understand why their partner has difficulty making concrete decisions or finding closure. People with the perception trait may struggle to understand why their partner seems to be stuck in their views. Both people may benefit from compromise in this situation. 

How to use your results to improve your relationship compatibility

Whether you and your partner have compatible or incompatible traits, there are ways to work around conflict and learn to communicate. Understanding each other’s MBTI type can be a start, as it may offer explanations for why each person acts in certain ways. With empathy for your partner’s unique personality makeup, you may be more open to communicating, compromising, and understanding who they are and how that relates to you. 

If you have opposite personality traits from your partner, consider finding benefits in both types and using them as areas to grow in the relationship. For example, an extrovert might help their introverted partner get out and try new activities. Similarly, a feeling partner might help a thinking partner learn to label their emotions and check in with their feelings during a conversation. 

Partners with the same personality traits may also struggle at times, as being too similar could lead to difficulty taking action or seeing areas for growth. For example, two people with the judgment trait may make judgments about the world around them that may not be true, possibly keeping themselves stuck in a mindset that may not be serving their relationship. 

What are the most compatible MBTI pairings? 

The MBTI is a theory, so there is no “official rating” of the best pairings. However, people generally believe that the following pairings tend to be the most compatible: 

• ENFJ and ENFP 
• INTP and ENTJ 
• ENTP and INTJ
• INFJ and ENFP 
• ISFP and ENFJ 
• INTJ and ENTP 

Other pairings may also be compatible, and the MBTI is not the only way to measure compatibility between two people, nor is it the only answer for moving forward. Other factors, such as mental health, beliefs, lifestyle, habits, childhood experiences, intelligence, interests, and careers, may also factor into whether two people are compatible romantically.

Can incompatible pairings work out? 

Those who put effort into a relationship and work to communicate despite their differences may find it possible to work through incompatibility. Those who want to be together and love each other can make efforts to compromise, actively listen, ask for help, admit when they’ve made mistakes, and find ways to work around their incompatible traits. 

For example, an introvert may spend time at home reading while an extrovert goes out with friends. The MBTI is not an official marker of compatibility, so people with different or seemingly clashing personality types may be compatible in other ways.

Support options 

Relationship challenges can affect mental health, and communication may become strained between partners who don’t understand each other’s needs. Individual or couples therapy may help them improve their connection in these cases. However, some people face barriers to in-person therapy, such as a lack of insurance coverage for couples therapy. Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples may be more accessible. 

Through an online couples therapy platform, couples can pay one price instead of two separate therapy fees. In addition, online platforms often offer unique resources like worksheets and journaling prompts that can be accessed alongside weekly sessions.

Studies show that online couples therapy can be more effective than face-to-face options in some cases. In a 2019 study, participants generally reported being more comfortable with their therapist online, believing the distance offered an improved connection and sense of safety. In addition, they typically found the intervention supportive in reducing conflict.