Sharing Positivity For Pay A Compliment Day: The Science Behind Compliments

Every February, people around the country can celebrate Pay a Compliment Day, which is dedicated to paying compliments to friends, family members, coworkers, partners, and loved ones to spread happiness and make people feel appreciated. Giving genuine compliments has often been associated with various mental and physical health benefits, so exploring these benefits can be a fun and meaningful way to celebrate and learn more about the power of compliments. If you have trouble communicating your compliments to others or seeing the good in people, consider working with a therapist online or in person.

What is Pay a Compliment Day?

The Pay a Compliment Day timeline typically occurs on the 6th of February every year. This holiday was created by a blogger named Adrienne Koopersmith in 1995. Adrienne tells a story on her blog about the inspiration and ideas that prompted her to make this holiday a reality. 

One morning in 1995, Adrienne boarded a bus that passed a woman in the street running to get on the bus after she missed the bus stop. There were negative temperatures that day, and the woman would have been waiting in the cold if the bus driver hadn’t stopped. However, the bus driver stopped and allowed her to get on. When Adrienne got off the bus, she decided to compliment the bus driver’s actions. Noticing his smile after Koopersmith complimented him, she decided to write up the basis of “Pay a Compliment Day,” which has since been patented and celebrated by people nationwide. 

How to celebrate this day

Give a compliment to celebrate Pay a Compliment Day and brighten someone’s day. You might compliment a friend, partner, family member, or someone significant in your life. Compliments can be described as short, positive statements about the way you perceive someone else. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines compliments as “verbal acts that take place on a daily basis between at least two individuals (the complimenter and the complementee).” Examples of compliments may include: 

• “You look so beautiful today!” 
• “I love your mind!” 
• “You are so funny!” 
• “I love your bracelet!” 
• “I like spending time with you.” 
• “You have fun energy.” 

The science behind compliments, socialization, and gratitude 

Compliments given on Pay a Compliment Day and throughout the year can significantly impact mental health and wellness and are a form of socialization that can remind others that you care about and see them, regardless of their place in your life. Below are some aspects of this form of socialization backed up by science. 

Compliments

Praise can be seen as a type of compliment that involves complimenting someone on an action they’ve completed. For example, in honor of Pay a Compliment Day, you might praise someone after they complete a complex project well. 

Studies on compliments have mainly looked at work and educational settings. One study found that compliments could improve workplace environments and employee creativity. 

Another found that compliments could cause people to partake in desired behaviors more often, acting as positive reinforcement. Receiving compliments usually activates the reward centers of the brain, which can cause positive neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, to be released. 

Social connection 

Giving compliments on Pay a Compliment Day and beyond may be a way to connect with others socially, and studies show that social connection can be one of the most vital aspects of human existence. In one study listed in the Stanford Medicine journal, social interaction was typically associated with improved mental and physical health, as well as a prolonged lifespan. Social connection could also serve as a motivator for positive and prosocial behavior in individuals. Social connection can decrease the risk of heart disease, cancer, early death, and high blood pressure. 

Pay compliments to spread gratitude

Gratitude can also be a part of complimenting someone. For example, you might thank someone for their kindness, empathy, or open mind. In a recent study of 300 adults, Berkeley researchers assigned one of the groups of participants to write a gratitude letter to someone else for three weeks. The second group wrote about negative experiences, and the third did not write anything. 

After the study, those who had written gratitude letters generally experienced improved mental health for up to 12 weeks after the study. In contrast, those who wrote about negative emotions usually had worsened mental health outcomes. Showing gratitude in the form of compliments can improve your mental health and may benefit the person you’re complimenting, too. 

Giving genuine compliments

Looking for an idea for a compliment for Pay a Compliment Day? If you’re unsure how to compliment others, consider the following suggestions for kind, thoughtful, and soulful compliments. However, try to keep your compliments personalized, sweet, and accurate to the person to whom you’re giving them. 

1. “I appreciate you.”
2. “I’m so proud of you.” 
3. “I feel like I’m on vacation when I’m with you.” 
4. “You are fresh air compared to my past.” 
5. “You light up a room when you enter it.” 
6. “You’re so strong.”
7. “I admire your courage.” 
8. “Your work ethic inspires me.” 
9. “You are just as beautiful inside as you are on the outside.” 
10.  “I love hearing you speak.”
11.  “Your perspective is so unique and special to me.” 
12.  “I love when you talk about your interests.” 
13.  “You deserve the world.” 
14.  “You’re incredible!” 
15.  “You’re so good at fixing things!” 
16.  “I admire your drive and determination.” 
17.  “You are the smartest person I know.” 
18.  “I am proud of you for overcoming so much.” 
19.  “You make a difference in my life.” 
20.  “You’re my best friend.” 
21.  “Thank you for being such a wonderful person.” 
22.  “You always know what to say to make me feel better.” 
23.  “You have such a beautiful mind.” 
24.  “Any workplace would be lucky to have you.” 
25.  “I’m so lucky to know you.” 
26.  “You are glowing today!” 
27.  “You have such beautiful energy, and everyone around you can feel it.” 
28.  “I love how you smell!” 
29.  “You have wonderful posture!” 
30.  “I’ve never met anyone like you.” 
31.  “When we’re together, it seems like time flies!” 
32.  “I appreciate your directness and authenticity.” 
33.  “It’s so good to see you again!” 
34.  “Your outfit is so cool!” 
35.  “I love how you do your makeup!” 
36.  “Your self-expression is so beautiful!” 
37.  “You are so talented!” 
38.  “I love listening to you talk.” 
39.  “We have the best conversations.”
40.  “You’re so fun to spend time with!” 
41.  “Your friendship is so important to me.” 
42.  “I love our family.” 
43.  “Thanks for helping me through a difficult time.” 
44.  “You always teach me new lessons and help me grow.” 
45.  “I love your art!” 
46.  “You are so creative and cool!” 
47.  “Your responsibility inspires me!” 
48.  “I love how adventurous and unique you are.” 
49.  “It’s amazing that you stand up for others!” 
50.  “I trust you with everything in me.” 

You can come up with your own compliments or combine them with gratitude statements to make a more significant impact. However, you can use many of the above compliments in various situations, including with new friends or acquaintances. 

How to receive compliments with grace 

Receiving compliments can make some people nervous, afraid, or confused. Being put in the spotlight and knowing someone is thinking positively about you might be nerve-wracking. However, there are a few ways you can receive compliments on Pay a Compliment Day and beyond with grace, even in the face of fear, including the following: 

• Maintain eye contact with the person and smile. 
• Say, “Thank you so much!” or a similar way of thanking them. 
• Try not to expect a particular response from the other person. 
• Try to avoid negating their compliment by saying, “That’s not true,” or repeating negative thoughts you have about yourself. 
• Tell them how much their compliment means to you.
• Compliment them back. 
• While updated evidence may be necessary, existing studies suggest that women tend to be more likely to struggle to accept compliments because women are often expected to be more hateful toward themselves. Try to regain your personal power by accepting compliments that uplift you. 

Don’t cross your boundaries to respond to a compliment that makes you uncomfortable. If someone inappropriately compliments you, you don’t have to respond in any way. You can ignore someone or put distance between you when your boundaries are violated. 

Support options 

If social interactions lead to discomfort for you or you’re looking for ways to reconnect with people in your life, therapy may be a beneficial option. However, for those living with social anxiety, loneliness, and other mental health challenges, finding time, money, and energy to go to an in-person appointment can be difficult. In these situations, it may be valuable to try online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp. 

Benefits of online therapy

Online therapy can empower you to connect with others from a safe space. Some platforms may offer weekly group sessions on top of your weekly session with your therapist, which you can attend via phone, video, or live chat. In addition, you can have worksheets and journaling prompts to reflect after therapy and further help you with your healing journey.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Studies show that internet-based interventions can be more effective than in-person options in treating common mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. In addition, researchers found that online therapy was frequently connected with a greater quality of life and affordability for clients.