The Mental Health Impacts Of Breastfeeding: How To Cope

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated August 9, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Breastfeeding is often viewed as the most natural and healthy way to feed a baby. However, some parents may struggle to breastfeed or experience significant mental and physical health challenges when doing so. Shame, embarrassment, anxiety, and complications can all lead parents to wonder if they’re making a mistake or not giving their baby what they need. In some cases, such as when neither partner produces breastmilk, anxiety might arise about whether the baby is healthy and thriving. Learning about breastfeeding, understanding common mental health impacts, and finding ways to cope can help parents make the process easier for themselves and their children. A licensed therapist can provide further insight, guidance, and support.

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Understanding breastfeeding: The benefits and potential challenges

Breastfeeding generally refers to feeding a baby human milk from one’s breast. This can provide a child with nutrients that help their body grow and remain healthy. The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that breastfeeding can be one of the most effective ways to ensure a child’s health and that it is safe, clean, and protective against childhood illnesses. Breastfeeding may improve a baby’s immune system and reduce the risk of some conditions in breastfed infants, such as sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). 

During an infant’s first six months of life, they may be exclusively breastfed by a lactating parent. Although lactation is commonly thought to only occur in mothers who have given birth to a child, non-gestational parents may induce lactation and breastfeed their children as well. Breastfeeding normally requires a specific technique, often ensuring that the baby’s head and baby’s mouth are correctly positioned, they receive skin-to-skin contact, and the breastmilk is flowing properly. 

According to the WHO, less than 50% of infants under six months of age are exclusively breastfed. Challenges can commonly arise for parents, including a lack of milk production, medical conditions like breast and ovarian cancer, medication interference, concave nipples, low breast tissue, being HIV-positive, latching difficulties, mental health challenges, and a desire not to breastfeed. 

Although breastfeeding is commonly cited as the healthiest way to feed a child, shame about not breastfeeding can lead to significant mental health challenges for parents. Certain aspects of breastfeeding, such as needing to feed an infant in public or at work, can also lead to shame, fear, and guilt in some cases.

Regardless of the benefits associated with breastfeeding, parents can often find support in understanding that their choice to breastfeed or bottle feed is personal, and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to feeding. You’re not alone if you struggle to breastfeed for any reason, and options are available to support you.

Infant feeding is valid no matter the method, and children fed formula or donated breastmilk can thrive as much as those fed mature milk via the breast. 

Potential mental health impacts of breastfeeding

Mental health can be significantly impacted by breastfeeding. For some, breastfeeding can offer mental health benefits, such as an enhanced sense of self-efficacy, decreased stress and anxiety, a lower risk of postpartum depression, and a strengthened bond with one’s child. However, it’s also possible to experience mental health challenges related to breastfeeding.

Anxiety 

Distress related to breastfeeding challenges can lead to anxiety in some parents about whether they are doing it “right.” In addition, maternal stress can lead to anxiety, which can lead to reduced milk production. Anxiety about breastfeeding may worsen if breastfeeding becomes more difficult. Anxiety disorders can also worsen if a parent stops taking anxiety medication to feed their baby. 

For some, postpartum anxiety can lead to difficulty feeding, as a parent might be worried about harming their baby, not offering enough breastmilk to feed them, or being inadequate in caring for them. Postpartum anxiety is often connected to postpartum depression (PPD), which can be essential to address with a mental health professional. 

Dysphoric milk ejection reflex (D-MER) 

Dysphoric milk ejection reflex (D-MER) is an emotional change that can occur immediately before milk is released during breastfeeding. This response usually lasts for only a few minutes but can be significantly distressing for parents. Emotions that may occur with D-MER include hopelessness, sadness, guilt, shame, and a lack of motivation. In addition, parents might experience thoughts of self-loathing or self-blame. This phenomenon might occur due to a drop in dopamine, but further research is needed. 

Postpartum depression 

Postpartum depression is a depressive disorder that can develop in some parents. This condition usually involves traditional depression symptoms like prolonged sadness, lack of motivation, difficulty with self-care, and social withdrawal. In parents, symptoms might present as difficulty connecting with their child, fear of being a “bad parent,” and shame. Some people with PPD may experience breastfeeding difficulties.

More research is needed to understand how postpartum depression and breastfeeding are related. Some research shows that breastfeeding may reduce the risk of PPD. However, for some, a depression-related lack of motivation or lack of bond with the baby may make it difficult to breastfeed regularly, which may lead to the decision to formula-feed a child. 

Shame or embarrassment about difficulty producing a milk supply 

Although updated evidence may be needed, around half of mothers in one study cited “insufficient milk supply” as their primary reason for not breastfeeding. This challenge can have various causes, but it is not a parent’s fault. Some people might not produce milk at all, whereas others may not produce enough to support their child with exclusive breastfeeding. 

Others might face barriers to milk production, such as medical conditions like ovarian cancer and mental illnesses like depression. Hearing a baby cry for milk can be challenging if there is no milk flow and a parent doesn’t know what to do. In addition, a lack of milk to offer to preterm infants can lead to distress, as babies born prematurely may be more vulnerable to health risks. 

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Regardless of the cause, parents may blame themselves for a lack of milk production, feel envious of other parents, and experience shame, embarrassment, and guilt about their lack of milk. A desire to breastfeed while lacking the ability to do so can lead to anxiety or depression for some people. Others might believe they aren’t a good parent due to their struggles with breastfeeding. These feelings can often be addressed in therapy, and you’re not alone in experiencing them. 

Stress related to uncomfortable breastfeeding 

Discomfort while breastfeeding can cause fear and distress for parents. For some, this discomfort might come from the baby not being able to latch, whereas others might experience discomfort from their child biting them, which can happen once the child’s teeth come in. Some might choose to wean their child off breastmilk when this challenge occurs, which can lead to further stress and guilt for some people. 

Is it normal to experience mental health challenges while breastfeeding? 

Those experiencing mental health challenges or the development of a mental health condition while breastfeeding are not alone. Approximately one in five mothers experience mental illness within the year after the birth of their child. These mental health conditions may impact breastfeeding, whether directly or indirectly. 

In addition, parents in unique situations, like same-sex non-lactating parents or those who spend significant time away from their children, may be unable to lactate and could experience anxiety or stress due to this difficulty. However, these challenges do not make you an unfit parent. Consider talking to a lactation coach or mental health professional to work through these feelings. In some cases, non-gestational parents may be able to induce breastfeeding without having given birth.

What do I do if I can’t breastfeed? 

If you cannot breastfeed in the ways you want, whether you’re completely unable to do so or struggle to produce milk effectively, the following support resources may be helpful: 

Ways to cope with breastfeeding challenges

If you’re struggling with breastfeeding mental health concerns, consider the following coping strategies. 

Self-care

Self-care for nursing mothers and parents might include taking breaks, picking up breastmilk donations to supplement feedings, scheduling leisure and relaxation time, breathing mindfully, and seeking help from a therapist. Self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming, and this practice doesn’t only involve hygiene or physical care. You might also consider breastfeeding in a different location, such as in a natural area near you, which can have benefits for you and your baby. 

Education about breastfeeding

Some parents might struggle to breastfeed because they aren’t sure how to start or don’t know how to cope with challenges like low milk production. Lactation consultants are available to support parents in getting started and managing challenges as they arise. Some hospitals offer lactation consultants after birth to support new parents.

Support groups 

Organizations like La Leche League offer search tools to find support groups and nursing consultants in your area. A support group can be a place to talk to other breastfeeding parents and receive advice. You can also join these groups to receive emotional support if you struggle to breastfeed. 

Can professional support help? 

Counseling can be a form of education, encouragement, and support for breastfeeding parents and those experiencing mental health challenges. A therapist can help a client cope with emotional difficulties, symptoms of postpartum conditions, and thoughts of self-loathing. In addition, they can offer tips for parenting and caring for a child in a way that promotes both the parent’s and child’s well-being. Therapists, lactation coaches, and doctors are all professionals that can be consulted when breastfeeding.  

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Talking to a therapist

Breastfeeding parents often experience barriers to seeking mental healthcare, such as busy schedules or difficulty leaving home with the baby. In these cases, they may benefit from seeking support from an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, which can empower parents to talk to a therapist from the convenience of their homes.

This may allow them to continue breastfeeding and avoid unnecessary commutes or time away from their child to pump. In addition, they can access group sessions, journaling prompts, worksheets, and goal-tracking options alongside weekly therapy sessions to enhance their mental health journey. 

Studies show that online therapy can be more effective than face-to-face options in some cases. For instance, according to a 2018 study, clients generally found online treatment more effective than in-person therapy for reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety and improving quality of life. The online intervention was also viewed as more cost-effective than its in-person counterpart. 

Takeaway

Breastfeeding can be a complex topic, and the process tends to be different for every parent. While breastfeeding often comes with benefits, it can also be associated with mental health concerns. If you’re experiencing challenges like anxiety, stress, or dysphoria while breastfeeding, you’re not alone. Consider contacting a therapist online or in your area to receive support.
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