The Psychology Behind The "Tradwife" Trend: Mental Health Impacts
With the rise of the internet and social media platforms, trends have become more popular, showcasing certain lifestyles, fashion choices, and concepts. The “tradwife” trend generally refers to women who choose to live a “traditional” Western lifestyle based on strict gender roles. Understanding this terminology and its impacts can offer insight into societal messages about relationships. If you’ve experienced mental health challenges related to social media use, consider speaking with a therapist for support.
What does “tradwife” mean? Gender roles and the tradwife lifestyle
This role is largely inspired by 1950s housewife imagery and dynamics, often showcasing a man and a woman in a marriage where the woman provides household services like cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing, while the man makes money for the household by working and investing in his family..
Some tradwife influencers may also partake in the aesthetic elements of a traditional marriage. For example, they might wear clothing from a particular decade or clothing considered “appropriate” based on certain defined gender roles. The woman might wear only dresses, whereas the man might dress in more traditionally masculine clothing. Tradwife influencers are often religious, as religion can be tied to traditional gender roles in some cases. However, not all influencers fit this mold.
The roots of the tradwife trend
Although no known “first” tradwife influencer exists, the trend is thought to have begun in 2016. Since 2020, many women have started tradwife social media accounts, and the portrayal of this relationship structure seems to be gaining popularity. Some women have created accounts dedicated to being “stay-at-home girlfriends” as well.
Tradwife content on platforms like Instagram and TikTok has been viewed millions of times. In some cases, tradwife content is linked to religion and alt-right politics in the United States. However, the trend has also started to gain traction with more women in Europe.
Why a traditional lifestyle may be appealing to some couples or families with children
Not all who partake in a lifestyle based on traditional gender norms identify with the tradwife label or showcase their lifestyles online. This lifestyle might be appealing to people who seek certain forms of security. A woman who isn’t interested in working, is experiencing economic insecurity, or would prefer to stay home with her children might want to marry someone who is interested in taking on financial responsibility.
For those who enjoy a traditional lifestyle, the tradwife trend could be key to finding a dynamic that works for them and their partners or families. However, traditional gender roles don’t necessarily apply to all couples, and harmful messages may spread when someone claims that their lifestyle is the only correct way to live or that it’s a “woman’s place” to be at home instead of in the workforce.
The potentially harmful impacts of tradwife content
There are several potential risks to the tradwife content trend.
Sexism and unfair gender roles
Traditional content like tradwife content usually promotes the idea of gender roles that are often considered outdated and sexist. An individual choosing to follow these roles is not inherently unhealthy. However, when these roles are promoted as the “only correct option,” people who do not fit into this lifestyle may be shamed.
Although some women may enjoy staying home and caring for their children full-time, those who do not want to have children, are not in a heterosexual relationship, have chosen to be single, or do not want to submit to their husbands are not invalid or living life incorrectly. Tradwife content may further existing stereotypes and lead women to believe they should act a certain way based on their gender.
Heteronormativity
Tradwife content is frequently developed through the lens of heterosexual relationships between a cisgender man and woman. The messages these platforms share often explore guidelines for what each gender “should” do in a relationship.
However, not all relationships are heterosexual, monogamous, or comprised of cisgender individuals. Two women could also develop a lifestyle where one partner spends most of their time at home while the other works, but many of the tradwife principles are based on patriarchal ideals of “submission” to a man, which can reinforce societal ideas that men are stronger, smarter, or more capable than women and that all relationships revolve around a man.
Tradwife content doesn’t often explore the unique dynamics between couples of all gender presentations, which can lead to messages that disregard the existence or validity of queer couples.
Unfair power dynamics between men, women, and children living a tradwife lifestyle
Historically, women have fought to have more power in relationships with men, as women were previously not allowed to vote, work, or have deciding power in purchases. In addition, women did not always have ways to seek legal support if they experienced sexual assault in their marriages. A significant part of the feminist movement was gaining freedom and rights in response to these barriers.
Tradwife content frequently romanticizes the idea of submission to a man. For some women, this dynamic might be comfortable. However, the messages shown in tradwife content could be used to pressure women into roles with which they’re uncomfortable, and men who have unhealthy intentions might actively seek a “tradwife” because they want to control or have power over a woman.
Domestic violence against tradwives
Because of the power dynamics that can be present in traditional relationships, traditional wives may be at a higher risk of domestic abuse. Women in these relationships are often expected to follow the man’s word no matter the circumstances and have little resources to protect themselves in case of abuse.
Because tradwife content often glorifies these relationships, a woman might blame herself if her relationship isn’t as happy, successful, or functional as the ones she sees online. An abusive partner might also use this content against her to further control and manipulate her into submission.
Unrealistic and romanticized portrayal of relationships through tradwife content
Social media content is often fabricated to get more views and followers. People may not show all aspects of their lives or relationships, often opting to share only the positive parts or create engaging content that does not reflect reality. People in traditional relationships might share sentiments that their lifestyle is the best or most authentic way to live. They might seem happy, healthy, and joyful.
Although these sentiments may be true, there is no way to know if they are, and some people may struggle behind the scenes. In addition, only showing the positive aspects of a relationship can make the tradwife lifestyle seem perfect, when it may realistically come with as many flaws as other types of relationships. Viewers who believe this lifestyle promises happiness might overlook potential challenges, such as a lack of financial freedom and autonomy.
Financial risks
Women in tradwife relationships are often financially dependent on their spouses. Financial dependence can be a risk factor for abuse or difficulty getting a divorce, possibly leading to a person being trapped in their marriage. A woman who has no career, personal spending money, or access to bills may stay in a relationship out of need, as getting into the job market later on and finding ways to live on one’s own can be complicated if one has never had to do so in the past. Tradwife content might encourage impressionable young people to seek this type of relationship, possibly putting them at risk of being unable to support themselves if they change their minds.
Mental health impacts
The romanticization of any one lifestyle can lead social media users to believe they should also live that way. Social media can be notorious for contributing to adverse mental health effects, including anxiety, depression, body image issues, and loneliness.
When interacting with tradwife content, remember that what you see has potentially been edited, curated, and scripted. You don’t know the people behind the screen, and they could be living with multiple challenges. This choice is personal, even for those who find the tradwife lifestyle beneficial. If your partner is pressuring you to take on conventional gender roles despite your wishes not to do so, you might be in an unhealthy relationship.
Is a “tradwife” lifestyle harmful to tradwives?
Living a lifestyle of any kind is not necessarily harmful if it is not harming the individuals partaking in it or anyone else in the world. Some people are genuinely comfortable living a lifestyle they deem “traditional.” However, recognizing that not all people resonate with this lifestyle can be vital. Pressuring others to live the way you do can spread sexism, heteronormativity, and oppressive ideas.
The ideals spread by Western influencers might not be considered ideal in other places around the world, and traditional lifestyles often require a significant financial investment. Influencers may be able to comfortably live a traditional lifestyle because they have the funds to buy the outfits, food, housing, furniture, and other items frequently shown on these accounts. In some cultures and countries, “traditional” values can be used to abuse and control women, and many people don’t have the choice to fulfill or not to fulfill the role of a traditional wife.
Finding mental health support
If you have been negatively impacted by social media, pressure to conform to gender roles, or the impacts of oppression as a marginalized individual, you might benefit from mental health support in therapy. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp can be an accessible way to receive support through video, audio, or online chat sessions.
Studies tend to support this type of treatment, suggesting that it can lead to a higher quality of life for clients with anxiety and depression, among other mental health challenges.
Takeaway
When viewing content online, you may find it helpful to consider the people “actors” and to not take their content too seriously. All relationships can come with challenges. For support related to this topic or related mental health challenges, consider seeking guidance from a therapist online or in your area.
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