Understanding The Biromantic Orientation And Romantic Attraction
The spectrum of romantic and sexual orientations is vast, and people can approach relationships in various unique ways. Romantic orientation can describe how people experience romantic love and attraction toward others. Biromantic is one such orientation that may be helpful to understand when determining how you approach relationships and the people to whom you’re attracted. For professional support in navigating your romantic orientation or identity, consider speaking with a licensed therapist.
What are romantic orientation and romantic attraction?
Romantic orientation generally refers to the genders to which a person is romantically attracted. Romantic attraction usually involves the desire to partake in traditionally romantic activities with another person, such as kissing, going on dates, and falling in love. Often, emotional intimacy is a significant part of one’s romantic attraction toward others. A person may crave emotional openness, close communication, and commitment with the people to whom they’re romantically attracted.
How is romantic orientation different from being sexually attracted to someone?
Romantic orientation can differ from sexual orientation because this form of attraction doesn’t necessarily involve sexual attraction. Sexual attraction generally refers to the desire to have a sexual relationship or engage in sexual activity with another person. Because one’s romantic and sexual orientations can differ, using only one label might not be efficient in describing their experiences and dating preferences.
Are romantic and sexual orientation always the same?
For many people, the genders to which a person is romantically attracted are the same as those to which they are sexually attracted. In this case, a romantic orientation label might not be used, as the person may group their romantic attraction with their sexuality.
However, some people have different romantic and sexual orientations. For example, a man who is only romantically attracted to men but sexually attracted to men and women might identify as homoromantic and bisexual.
What is the biromantic orientation? Beyond sexual attraction
A person who identifies as biromantic generally has the capacity to be romantically attracted to two or more genders. Although the prefix “bi” is often considered to mean “two,” public understanding of gender and sexuality has changed, and bisexuality and biromanticism can mean attraction to two or more genders.
Each person has the right to define what biromanticism means to them. In addition, being biromantic doesn’t necessarily mean someone identifies as bisexual as well. Some people might be biromantic and homosexual or biromantic and heterosexual.
What is the asexual sexual orientation?
People who are asexual typically experience little to no sexual attraction, according to the Trevor Project. Asexual people may fall on a spectrum. Some people who identify with this label sometimes experience sexual attraction, whereas others do not.
Other labels, like demisexual and grey-asexual, might also be used to describe someone’s relationship to asexuality. Demisexuality can mean not forming sexual attraction until a strong romantic or emotional connection is formed, and grey-asexuality can mean experiencing a spectrum of sexual attraction that may be considered atypical. Some asexual people identify as both asexual and aromantic.
What is the aromantic orientation? Understanding a lack of romantic attraction
A person who identifies as aromantic generally does not experience romantic attraction and may not experience a desire to have a romantic relationship. People who are both asexual and aromantic may not experience sexual or romantic attraction at all but might desire other forms of connection with people, such as a queer platonic relationship (QPR) or friendship.
Are all asexual people aromantic? Sexual orientation and aromanticism
Not all asexual people are aromantic, and vice versa. Asexual people can and do have romantic connections and long-term relationships. Many asexual people have different romantic orientations, such as biromantic, homoromantic, heteroromantic, or panromantic.
People with these orientations may not require a sexual connection to build romantic and emotional intimacy. For example, in a news article by the Sydney Morning Herald, a 22-year-old university student named Michael talked about how he identified as biromantic alongside his orientation as asexual.
Are all biromantic people asexual?
Not all biromantic people are asexual, although asexual people might use this label more frequently to describe the genders to which they’re attracted. Other sexualities with which people might identify can include, but aren’t necessarily limited to, the following:
- Homosexual: Sexually attracted to one’s same gender
- Bisexual: Sexually attracted to two or more genders
- Pansexual: Sexually attracted to people regardless of their gender identity
- Heterosexual: Sexually attracted to a gender different than one’s own
People may identify with labels outside of the above labels, although these are the most common. Some bisexual people are also biromantic and may use both labels to be more inclusive and express how their attraction can look in different forms.
How to explore and understand your sexuality, gender, and romantic orientation
Discovering to whom you’re attracted, whether romantically or sexually, can be a journey. Some people may still identify as questioning while they explore what their preferences and attractions look like to them. Below are a few tips for learning more about the people to whom you’re attracted.
Read about other biromantic people attracted to two or more genders
Several online resources are dedicated to educating others on the LGBTQIA+ community, including orientations like biromanticism. For example, the Orientation Wiki defines biromantic as “romantically liking two or more genders.”
The LGBTQIA+ Wiki also offers information on biromanticism, stating that the term was allegedly coined between 1995 and 2000. On this site, you can find the flag for certain sexual and romantic orientations, including the biromantic flag, and read comments from others. Online forums, support groups, social media groups, and LGBTQIA+ communities may also help you learn more about your identity.
Journal about your sexual attraction, gender, romantic orientation, and LGBTQIA+ identity
Self-reflective journaling can be one way to learn more about yourself without judgment or expectations. Consider the following journaling prompts:
- What traits and qualities am I generally attracted to in others?
- What is my experience with sexual attraction?
- What does romantic attraction mean to me?
- What do romantic relationships mean to me?
- When do I feel like my most authentic self?
- What does “love is love” mean to me?
- What feelings and thoughts arise when I think about other biromantic people?
- What does my ideal relationship look like?
- What does my ideal partner act like?
- When did I first know I was part of the LGBTQIA+ community?
- What about my orientation is difficult for me, if anything?
- What would coming out as biromantic mean for me?
- How is my romantic or sexual orientation connected to my own gender?
- Are there any parts of labeling myself that lead me to feel uncomfortable?
- What about the biromantic orientation resonates most with me?
- What is most comforting to me about my identity?
- Do I know any other biromantic people?
- Has my romantic or sexual orientation changed or fluctuated over time? If so, how?
Find an LGBTQIA+ community in your area for people of all orientations and genders
Having other LGBTQIA+ people with whom to talk may help you come to terms with your romantic orientation or sexuality. Consider looking for a queer community center, local LGBTQIA+ group, or events that queer people often attend. At these events or groups, talk to others about your journey of exploring your romantic orientation. You might meet others with a similar identity or get advice on exploring who you are in further depth.
Mental health support options
Identity is often a deeply personal topic, and exploring who you are can be challenging, especially if people in your life aren’t accepting or understanding of you. Talking to a therapist can be one way to receive validation and support and learn more about your identity. If you struggle with finding a therapist in your area, you can also try therapy online through platforms like BetterHelp.
With an online therapy platform, you can often be matched with a provider within 48 hours. In addition, you can specify if you’d prefer to work with a therapist who has experience supporting the LGBTQIA+ community or a therapist who identifies as LGBTQIA+ themselves.
Research generally supports the effectiveness of online therapy, finding it more cost-effective than in-person therapy and potentially leading to a greater quality of life for clients with depression and anxiety.
Takeaway
The biromantic orientation might be used by someone who experiences romantic attraction for two or more genders. This orientation is often used by those who identify as asexual but is not limited to any one group. Many people identify as biromantic when their sexual orientation differs from their romantic one. To learn more about your identity, explore challenges related to identity, or talk to a provider about mental health, consider reaching out to a therapist online or in your area.
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