Dating Apps: Are They Right For You?

Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant, LMHC
Updated November 11, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

In the evolving landscape of modern relationships, dating apps have become increasingly popular. Whether you are seeking a long-term partner or something more casual, there are a multitude of options available. Below, we’ll explore the world of online dating and dating apps and to help you determine if these platforms align with your relationship goals.

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Is online dating right for you?

The rise of online dating

The option of finding love online has been available to many since the advent of chat rooms in the 1990s. Though early concepts of online dating were stigmatized, as of 2024, it’s estimated that nearly 45% of Americans have now tried online dating at some point in their lives. This statistic is a testament to the growing acceptance and normalization of meeting romantic partners on the internet.

In more recent years, dating apps have risen in popularity, with their convenience and expanded reach becoming particularly appealing in a fast-paced world. At present, these apps have become a dominant force in how many people approach dating. For many users, dating apps have become a reliable way to find love in today’s digital age. However, despite their growing prevalence, dating apps are not right for everyone. Personal preference and relationship goals often contribute to one’s opinion on dating apps. Many users base their opinions on personal experiences with different dating platforms.

Exploring dating app statistics 

A Pew Research study in 2023 revealed that 12% of adults in the US have found a long-term relationship through a dating app. This data reflects the experience of millions of online daters in navigating the complexities of virtual relationships. The same data suggests that dating apps are most popular among younger adults aged 18 to 34, but that usage extends across all age groups. This study also suggests that there are dozens of different dating apps available, each catering to various relationship goals.

It also reports that 50% of users who have only used free versions of dating apps report a positive experience. This is only slightly lower than the 58% positivity rate among those who have paid for premium features. These numbers suggest that while paid features might enhance the experience, the basic functions of dating apps are still effective for many users.

However, the same research indicates that 60% of users have had at least one negative experience with online dating, ranging from harassment to being "ghosted" after a few exchanges. These figures underscore the importance of approaching online dating with a level of caution.

Safety on dating apps

When it comes to online dating, safety should generally be a top priority. While some dating apps have implemented features like photo verification, reporting, and blocking to enhance user safety, taking personal precautions is still recommended. Be cautious about the photos you share on dating apps, as they can reveal more personal information than you may realize.

First and foremost, it’s usually wise to avoid sharing personal details like your home address, workplace, or financial details with someone you’ve just met online. Even details like the school you attended or the area where you live can be pieced together and used in a negative way. It’s often recommended that you stick to using the app’s message service until you feel comfortable enough to exchange phone numbers or social media handles. This ensures that you remain in control of how much contact information you share initially. Exercising good sense and caution can enhance your safety on dating apps.

Another crucial safety tip is to meet in public places for the first few dates. Avoid meeting late at night for the first few dates; daytime locations are generally safer. Consider meeting at a local bar or café for a casual, public environment. Inform a friend or family member about your plans, including who you're meeting and where. You can even share your live location with someone you trust. If at any point during the date you feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to leave. 

To download or not to download: Are dating apps right for you? 

Overall, deciding whether or not dating apps are right for you comes down to what you are seeking. If you're someone who enjoys the thrill of meeting new people and doesn't mind the occasional setback, dating apps can be an exciting way to expand your social circle. Many users find that online dating can be a lot of fun as they explore different matches and personalities. They can be especially useful for individuals who are introverted or have a busy lifestyle, as they allow you to engage with potential partners at your own pace. Engaging with potential matches through casual conversations can help build confidence. These virtual conversations can also be a confidence booster for those who are shy or hesitant to approach people in real life. If you're unsure whether dating apps are right for you, trying a free version can give you a better idea of the experience.

On the other hand, if you're seeking a deep, emotional connection and find the superficial nature of swiping unappealing, you might struggle with dating apps. The vast number of options can lead to what's known as "choice overload," making it difficult to decide on any one person. Additionally, the casual nature of many apps might clash with your desire for something more meaningful.

Consider your emotional readiness as well. Online dating can be a rollercoaster of emotions—one minute you're thrilled about a new match, the next you're disappointed when they don't reply. It’s important to manage your expectations and understand that not every interaction will go as you expect. That’s why it might be best to ensure that you're in a stable place emotionally before diving into the dating pool. That way, you may be better able to maintain perspective and avoid becoming overly invested in virtual connections that may not translate to real-life relationships.

Should you try a free dating app?

Free apps can be an excellent way to dip your toes into the world of online dating without any financial commitment. Whether you're a single person looking for love or just testing the waters, free apps offer a low-risk way to begin. Most free dating apps offer the essential features needed to start meeting new people, such as profile creation, browsing, and messaging. This allows you to interact with prospective matches without making a financial commitment.

One of the primary advantages of free apps is that they attract a large number of users, increasing your chances of finding someone compatible. These apps allow you to connect with more people, expanding your social circle and increasing the likelihood of finding a good match. However, this also means you're competing with many others for attention, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. 

Additionally, free apps might have more limited features compared to their paid counterparts. For example, you might only be able to send a certain number of messages per day or see a limited number of profiles. 

Finding the right dating app for you

If you’re considering using dating apps, the best approach may be to try multiple apps and see which one resonates with you. You may also want to explore other apps to see if their features align better with your preferences. Below, we’ll explore some of the most popular free dating apps and what they offer. Each app has its own features and overall vibe, which can help you decide which platform is right for you.

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Finding a free dating app to download

Some of the best dating apps for your mobile phone today include the following:

  • Hinge: Hinge markets itself as the app "designed to be deleted," focusing on fostering meaningful connections rather than casual flings. It uses a unique algorithm that prioritizes profiles based on your interactions, a feature that’s intended to make it easier to find and fall for someone you're genuinely interested in. Free users can send a limited number of likes each day and respond to prompts on profiles to initiate conversation.
  • Bumble: Bumble is known for its woman-first approach, where women must make the first move in heterosexual matches. This empowers women to send the first message, setting the tone for the conversation. This feature is designed to reduce unwanted messages and empower women to control their online dating experience. Bumble also offers modes for finding friends and professional networking, making it a versatile option. With Bumble’s 'BFF' mode, users can make new friends in addition to romantic connections.
  • Tinder: As the first of the mobile apps to popularize the swipe feature for dating, Tinder is known for its large user base and ease of use. Tinder’s simple interface allows users to either swipe left to pass or swipe right to show interest in a profile. While it's often associated with casual hookups, some people have also found long-term relationships through the app. Premium features may also include access to top picks, where users are presented with profiles that are highly compatible with their preferences. It also allows you to link your music preferences, adding a personal touch to your profile.

Online dating sites

These online dating sites offer more web-based browsing. If you prefer browsing on a site rather than a mobile app, these platforms may be more suitable for your needs. If one dating app doesn’t meet your expectations, you can try an other app to find one that suits you better. Explore them to find the best dating app for you: 

  • OkCupid: OkCupid is known for its in-depth profiles and compatibility matching. The app asks users to answer a series of questions that help determine their personality and dating preferences. The more questions you answer, the more accurate your matches will be. Free users can use basic features, but premium plans offer advanced filters and additional visibility.
  • Match.com: One of the oldest dating sites, Match has a reputation for fostering more serious relationships. It offers a mix of free and paid features, with premium users able to attend in-person events and receive detailed insights into who has viewed their profile. Match may be ideal for those who are serious about finding a long-term partner. Many users have found their match and shared their success story of finding love on this platform.
  • Facebook Dating: Integrated into the Facebook app, Facebook Dating allows you to create a separate dating profile that won't be visible to your friends.This feature helps users manage their own profile separately from their main Facebook account. It suggests matches based on your interests, events you've attended, and groups you're part of. It can be a useful option for those who prefer to keep their dating life within a familiar platform.

LGBTQ+ dating apps

These dating apps and sites are catered specifically to the LGBTQ+ community: 

  • Taimi: Taimi is a comprehensive LGBTQ+ dating app that goes beyond matchmaking. It also includes social networking features, allowing users to join communities, create content, and participate in events. It offers both free and paid versions, with the latter including features like enhanced security and unlimited messaging.
  • Bindr: Bindr is tailored for bisexual, pansexual, and genderfluid individuals, offering a space where users can connect without the limitations of traditional gender and orientation categories. The app is free to use, with additional features available for premium members.
  • HER: Designed specifically for queer women, HER is both a dating app and a social platform. It offers a welcoming space for LGBTQ+ women to connect, share experiences, and meet potential partners. The app is free, but premium features include advanced filtering and incognito mode.
  • Grindr: Grindr is one of the most popular dating apps for gay, bisexual, trans, and queer individuals. Known for its location-based matching, it’s ideal for those looking for quick connections. The app is free, but paid versions offer additional features like viewing more profiles and using more filters.

A closer look at paid app features

Many other dating apps offer the ability to open a free account without forcing users to pay for a subscription. Some premium features may include unlimited likes or more matches per week. While some users may choose to spend money on premium features, free versions can still provide a meaningful experience. However, there are a number of features that tend to be hidden behind a paywall in most dating apps, such as: 

  • Unlimited likes
  • Advanced search filters and lifestyle preferences
  • Advanced location settings
  • The ability to view which other users “liked” your profile
  • Unlimited messaging and video calls

Is it worth it? 

Deciding whether to pay for a dating app depends on your goals. If you're serious about finding a match, paid features like unlimited likes and advanced filters can enhance your experience. Ultimately, what features matter most to you will depend on your dating goals and preferences. However, if you're just browsing, free versions may be enough. Ultimately, it's about how much you value the extra features and what you hope to gain from online dating. If you don’t like the first dating app you use, you could try switching apps or upgrading to receive more features until you find one you like.

How therapy can help

Online dating can be emotionally taxing, and therapy can provide crucial support. A therapist can help you build confidence, understand your relationship patterns, and manage the emotional ups and downs. Therapy is about much more than getting advice on finding someone; it's about learning to navigate interpersonal connections from a healthy, self-aware place. A therapist can also help you develop better communication skills, making it easier to talk through any challenges that arise in dating or relationships.

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Is online dating right for you?

The potential benefits of online therapy

Online therapy offers a convenient and effective way to get emotional or mental health support, especially for those with busy schedules or who find traditional therapy settings intimidating. It allows you to connect with a licensed therapist from home, often making it more affordable and easier to fit sessions into your life. This flexibility can be particularly helpful when navigating the challenges of online dating. Plus, research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy in many cases.

Takeaway

Dating apps have become a significant part of how people meet and form relationships today. Finding the best overall dating app for you, if you choose to use them at all, may take some trial and error. While they can offer exciting opportunities, it’s usually important to approach them with clear expectations and an understanding of their limitations. Whether you choose to use dating apps or not, it's typically key to prioritize your emotional well-being. If you’re looking for guidance, consider how therapy may support you in navigating the landscape of dating.
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