Dating Tips: How To Find A Healthy Relationship With The Right Person
Dating can be one of the most exciting parts of a new relationship, but it can also be challenging at times. No matter which stage of dating you are in – browsing prospective matches on dating apps, going on first dates, or considering whether to take a relationship to the next level – some tried and true dating tips may be helpful. For more personalized insight and guidance, consider talking to a licensed therapist.
How to mindfully engage with online dating apps in a way that protects your space
For many people nowadays, the first step in finding potential partners is to use an online dating site or app. These apps can streamline the process of meeting new people and setting up a first date, but they can also be linked to negative experiences, so it can be important to use them in a mindful way.
Online dating apps and burnout
To avoid dating app burnout, dating experts recommend focusing on quality over quantity. It can also be helpful to approach dating apps with realistic expectations, rather than believing you’ll immediately find the perfect long-term partner.
How to preserve your personal space
When using any online app, it can be vital to consider your safety, and this may be especially crucial for anything involving dating and meeting new people. While it can be important to be genuine and authentic in your dating app interactions so you can start making friends and connecting with potential partners, be thoughtful about the specific information you share.
It can be beneficial to be intentionally vague about where you live and work. If you are meeting up with someone you met online, no matter how much you may believe you can trust the person, always tell a loved one where you are going and with whom you are meeting.
How to make a great impression on a first date
The first step to a new relationship is usually going on a first date. First dates can be lighthearted and fun. In general, they are not the ideal time to bring up your dating history, past experiences with bad relationships, or how much you dislike your job.
Try to focus on getting to know the other person and determining whether they could be a good match for a potential long-term relationship. It can be helpful to choose an activity that facilitates conversation and discourages awkward moments, like going on a hike.
Determining whether you and a prospective partner have chemistry
Sometimes, a prospective partner may seem ideal on paper (or on a dating app), but when you meet up in person, things may not align as expected. It is unlikely that you will have a strong connection with everyone, but if you pay close attention, you can usually discern whether sparks are truly flying between you and your potential romantic interest.
Do you look forward to seeing them? Do you feel energized, nervous, or bubbly around them? Do they frequently make you laugh? These could all be indications that your connection is genuine.
Sex, intimacy, and ways to build a strong connection
For many people, romantic interest is connected to sexual attraction. Physical intimacy between two people can be a logical next step to sparking an emotional connection. However, any form of increased intimacy tends to come with some risk, so make sure you are comfortable proceeding.
When is the right time to have sex in a new relationship?
There is not one specific time that is ideal for everyone to have sex with someone new for the first time. Many people may not be comfortable with that level of vulnerability until they have spent a significant amount of time with a prospective partner, while others may be comfortable engaging in physical intimacy right away.
If you believe you are ready for sex, make sure you are open and honest about your desires when engaging in sexual activity, and respect the other person’s boundaries and comfort level.
Relationship advice for a healthy partnership
Even relationships built on strong connections and deepened intimacy usually take work to maintain. The following tips can help you continue to maintain a healthy dynamic with your partner.
Regular communication
Your partner is not a mind reader – if you need them to know about something, be sure to tell them! Sometimes, this may mean having uncomfortable conversations about frustrations or resentments, but it can also include communication about more positive aspects of your relationship, like what is going well. No matter how long you and your partner have been together, it can be beneficial to continue to tell them what you appreciate about them and how grateful you are for your relationship.
Setting and maintaining boundaries
In any relationship, boundaries can be important, but they may be most crucial of all in romantic relationships. It can be healthy for you and your partner to understand what each person is comfortable with and where their limits are.
Boundaries can apply to physical and sexual intimacy, but they can also involve time spent together, shared finances, and personal space. Communicating openly and often about boundaries can be key to a successful partnership.
Spotting red flags in a new relationship
In the beginning of a relationship, it can be easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new partner. You may find yourself willing to overlook annoyances or quirks at this stage. However, there are some behaviors that generally should not be ignored.
If your new partner acts possessive or jealous, or if they try to tell you what you can and can’t wear, where you can go, and with whom you can spend time, these can be red flags for potential abusive behavior. If you do not feel good about yourself after spending time with your partner, that could be another indication that this relationship may not be particularly healthy.
Mental health support for people on the dating scene
Dating can be a fun and interesting way to meet new people, but it can also take a toll on your mental health in some cases. Connecting with a licensed therapist can help you process some of your emotions around dating and figure out how to put your best foot forward for potential partners.
Online therapy with a mental health counselor
If you are trying to keep track of all of your dating app messages or pencil in dates around a packed work schedule, the last thing you may want to add to your calendar is an in-person therapy appointment. Online therapy could be a beneficial alternative option. With online therapy through an accredited service like BetterHelp, you can attend therapy sessions from the convenience of your own home at a time that works for you.
Researchers have found that online therapy may be as effective as traditional in-person therapy at addressing a range of mental health concerns and life situations. A 2020 study found that attending therapy online could improve sexual intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
Takeaway
What are the five C's of dating?
The Five C’s of dating likely refers to a relationship theory outlined by psychologist Richard Sinacola in his book The Five Cs of a Healthy Relationship. Based on nearly four decades of helping couples improve their relationships, Sinacola defines the following five features of happy romantic partnerships:
- Communication. Healthy relationships require kind, empathetic communication. Both partners need to be willing to listen to each other to understand the other person’s position.
- Compromise. Setting clear boundaries and managing unrealistic expectations are typically considered necessary for a healthy relationship. No one person should dictate the terms of the partnership.
- Conflict resolution. Nearly all relationships will experience conflict that threatens to destabilize the union. Happy couples typically have conflict-resolution strategies that allow them to address problems in the relationship before they become severe.
- Compassion. Caring for and understanding a romantic partner’s unique needs can help bolster relationship satisfaction and introduce positive feelings.
- Commitment. In most relationships, commitment forms the foundation of healthy romance. Both partners typically need to commit to mutually agreed-upon terms.
What is a good tip for online dating?
Arguably, one of the best rules to follow when dating online is to be honest and open about who you are. While telling a few white lies to ensure a good impression may be tempting, dishonesty is among the most common deal breakers a potential partner might possess. First impressions carry significant weight when finding love, and it is typically worthwhile to avoid potentially souring a first impression through dishonesty.
Modern dating often involves learning substantial information about a person before a first date. It is often possible to determine if someone has the same values and interests, as well as their future goals, well before meeting them. Online dating facilitates this process and allows individuals to meet people in a safe, open setting. Because online dating relies so heavily on communicating information up-front, it is nearly always advisable to be honest from the start.
What is the first rule of dating apps?
While many considerations exist when using dating apps, one of the most vital is likely maintaining personal and security. Of course, the purpose of dating apps is to meet like-minded people with similar values who you may want to date in real life, but when first getting to know a new person, paying close attention to safety is typically advisable. Here are some tips about how to stay safe when using dating apps:
- Never share secret personal information with someone you do not know well and have met in person. Personal information to keep secret commonly includes your social security number, credit card details, bank information, or home address.
- Ignore requests for financial help, no matter how compelling the reason may be. Online dating scams are typically easy to avoid if you do not share any financial information.
- Use photos that are different from those on Facebook, Instagram, or other social media sites for your dating profile.
- Block and report suspicious users or those that make you feel unsafe.
What is the relationship between mental health and dating?
Evidence suggests a close relationship between a person’s mental health and their ability to initiate, maintain, or end a romantic relationship. Generally, poorer mental well-being leads to lower relationship satisfaction and greater difficulty finding an interested partner. Mental health concerns might make a person feel shy around potential romantic partners, potentially to a level that makes it difficult to find love. Similarly, poor self-confidence might lead a person to avoid pursuing men and women who may share their values and interests, even if they are potentially ideal partners.
Many romantic interactions require a person to come out of their comfort zone, and mental health conditions like anxiety or depression may make it hard to break past a fear of rejection or other barriers to lasting love. The pressure from struggling to find a romantic partner might also reinforce adverse traits, such as a poor self-image or low self-esteem.
What is the “5-5-5” rule in relationships?
The 5-5-5 method refers to a relationship communication style developed to help couples talk through difficult disagreements and conflicts. It works by allowing each partner to present their concerns at face value, relate their own story to their partner, and feel safe engaging in a moment of healthy conflict.
The “5-5-5” describes the three five-minute stages of the method. First, one partner spends five minutes speaking about their concern or idea, then the other partner spends five minutes sharing their concerns, and the last five minutes are dedicated to dialoguing about the problem. The technique is likely effective because it ensures that each partner can feel heard and that the discussion about the problem is limited to only five minutes. Because of this, partners must end the discussion when the last five-minute period concludes. Issues can always be revisited in another 5-5-5 session the next day.
What are the three P's of dating?
The three P’s may refer to dating advice commonly given to young members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The Church considers dating a necessary precursor to marriage and counsels its youth about the difference between “dating” and “hanging out.” The three P’s are a rule of thumb to distinguish between a date and simply socializing as friends.
The three P’s that distinguish a date are commonly written as:
- Planned ahead.
- Paid for.
- Paired off.
The first P, “planned ahead,” refers to intentional action. The person who asks out the other should commit time and energy to plan an enjoyable experience, such as a dinner date at a nice restaurant, instead of simply asking the potential dating partner to hang out as though they were a friend. “Planned ahead” also entails ensuring that the person being asked out knows they are being approached with romantic intent.
The second P, “paid for,” doesn’t refer to money alone but indicates that the person planning the date must be willing to commit resources to it. Asking someone out on a date is different than asking someone to hang out as friends, and a person should be willing to differentiate between hanging out and dating by ensuring that greater resources are dedicated to dates.
The final P, “paired off,” refers to the exclusivity of the date. A date is an opportunity for couples to get to know each other and determine if they are compatible for a relationship. The Church recommends doing this in a one-on-one setting, as opposed to group dates, which are increasingly popular among young people.
How can I protect my personal online?
One of the most effective ways to protect personal online is by adhering to good security hygiene, which typically includes:
- Use strong, unique passwords for each website. Many people use a trustworthy password manager to accomplish this.
- Turn on two-factor authentication to ensure your accounts remain secure even if your password is compromised.
- Download the latest security updates for your phone and computer, which typically contain fixes for security vulnerabilities that others can use to access your data.
It is also often helpful to avoid giving out information like your home address or social security number unless you are absolutely sure that the information will be used appropriately and stored securely. It is typically helpful to trust your best judgment; if a website doesn’t feel safe, it is likely worthwhile to avoid it.
Where can I find relationship advice?
There are many online resources to access the advice of dating experts, including the Dating section of Betterhelp’s knowledge base. A quick web search will likely reveal many other sources of guidance, but it is typically worthwhile to review potential sources carefully to ensure that the advice they provide comes from qualified professionals. While opinions from others can often be helpful, it is usually worth seeking advice from non-experts that you know and trust.
Sometimes, the best relationship advice comes from friends, parents, or other family members. Although they might not be relationship experts, discussing concerns with dating or relationships with those close to you may offer insight and guidance that is challenging to find online.
How long should I wait to have sex when I start dating someone new?
There is no set period to wait to have sex when dating someone new. The decision to engage in physical intimacy must be made with the active consent from both dating partners. Prioritizing communication is often helpful. While some people are comfortable having sex early in a relationship, others prefer to wait until a more complete bond is established. Talking about sexual boundaries and desires early in a relationship is typically a win-win. Both partners are on the same page and can make informed decisions about sexual compatibility. In addition, ample communication allows consent (or lack thereof) to be clearly stated.
Can apps improve my dating life?
Dating apps offer many potential ways to make dating easier and simpler. One example is an app’s ability to facilitate and quicken the process of meeting people who may be good dating partners. Rather than meeting people in real life, which can often be a slow process, you have access to many people in your local area whose interests might align with yours. Having that information readily available can help you quickly decide if you are likely to enjoy a potential dating partner’s company.
Dating apps also allow you to get quick feedback from potential partners and practice important social skills in a low-stakes environment. Dating often requires confidence-building and insight into what traits may attract your ideal partner. Apps often allow for more frequent romantic communications and interaction opportunities than what is typical offline.
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