Practical Dating Advice For Long-Term Relationship Success

Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant, LMHC
Updated September 20, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Exploring dating can be tricky, especially if you're newly single or trying to find a meaningful connection. There are often many aspects to consider, whether it's figuring out how to approach someone new, recognizing the signals they're sending, or planning the perfect first date.

Dating isn’t just about finding the right person; it can also be about maintaining your mental health. In severe cases, the pressure and anxiety associated with dating may take a toll, but help is available. From professional advice to community support, there are many resources to which you can turn if you’re struggling.

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Dating can be stressful, but online therapy can help

The rise of dating apps

Dating apps seem to have revolutionized how people meet and form relationships. With the convenience of swiping right from your couch, they may offer an easy way to connect with potential partners. 

Apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have become household names, making online dating mainstream. These platforms often cater to a wide range of preferences, from casual hookups to serious relationships. You can find niche apps focused on specific interests, religions, or lifestyles as well.

Users can chat, share photos, and make video calls, creating a full virtual dating experience. Some apps even use algorithms to suggest matches based on your interests and behaviors. The appeal often lies in accessibility and variety, offering opportunities to connect that might not otherwise exist.

Key considerations for online dating

When exploring online dating, you may want to focus on being genuine, fully completing your profile, and having respectful interactions. In addition, setting boundaries and being considerate of mutual interests may lead to a more successful experience.

Authenticity

Authenticity can be key. Show a genuine version of yourself to your matches. Don't exaggerate your interests, background, or personality traits. Honesty may build trust and lay a strong foundation for any potential relationship. The clearer you are about who you are, the more likely you may find a match who truly connects with you.

Part of being authentic may include using recent photos and providing real information about your life. Authenticity can filter out matches that wouldn’t be a good fit, saving you time and emotional energy.

Profile completeness

A complete profile may help you stand out. Provide detailed, relevant information about your interests, hobbies, and lifestyle. You can also write a concise yet engaging biography that highlights your key qualities. 

Adding multiple clear and recent photos may give your profile a personal touch. These photos should reflect various aspects of your life, from hobbies to social settings.

Mutual interests

Focus on finding matches with shared interests. Common hobbies and passions can be the glue that holds an initial connection together. Look for activities you both enjoy and discuss these in your conversations. Sharing experiences or planning activities around these interests may help you bond faster.

While having some differences can be interesting, mutual interests can provide a solid starting point. Make sure your profile reflects the hobbies or activities that matter most to you.

Compatibility

Compatibility usually goes beyond mutual interests. It can be important to find someone whose values align with yours, recognizing that every human has their own experiences and perspectives. See how well you two mesh in terms of long-term plans, whether it’s career aspirations, family desires, or lifestyle choices. Compatibility often predicts the success of a relationship more than just physical attraction.

Use initial conversations to gauge your compatibility with a potential match. Simple questions about their daily routines or future dreams may reveal a lot.

Respectful interactions

Always maintain respect in your conversations. Respect generally involves listening actively and valuing the other person’s opinions and feelings. Avoid controversial or sensitive topics too early in your conversations.

Treating your matches with respect may increase their comfort levels, which can promote open and honest interactions. This behavior can also reflect well on your character.

Setting boundaries

Setting boundaries early in your interactions may be helpful. Be clear about what you’re comfortable with, whether it’s the speed of the relationship or topics of discussion. Respecting each other’s boundaries may lead to a healthier dynamic. This can prevent misunderstandings and help both parties experience a sense of security.

Discussing your boundaries can make it easier to determine if you and your match are on the same page. Boundaries can also guide you in managing potential red flags and ensuring a respectful and mutually beneficial relationship.

A mature male and female couple sit on the front porch steps together while chatting and holding cups of coffee.
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Pay attention to potential red flags

When dating someone new, it can be vital to keep an eye out for potential red flags. These small warning signs might save you from bigger issues down the road.

1. Treating others poorly: Notice how they interact with waitstaff, friends, or even strangers. This behavior can indicate how they may treat you in the future. If they are rude or dismissive, it may be a clear signal.

2. Frequent lying: Honesty tends to be important for any healthy relationship. If they frequently lie about small things, you might wonder what else they could be hiding. Keep an eye on their consistency in stories and actions.

3. Excessive control: A partner who wants to control every aspect of your life may be a red flag. Healthy relationships usually rely on mutual respect and freedom.

4. Lack of accountability: Watch out if they never take responsibility for their mistakes. Constantly blaming others may signal immaturity and an unwillingness to grow.

5. Too clingy, too soon: While enthusiasm for the relationship can be a positive thing, being overly dependent early on may be a warning sign. In general, you want someone who respects your personal space and pace.

6. Poor past relationships: How they talk about exes and past relationships may reveal a lot. If they constantly blame their exes, it could mean they haven’t learned from their mistakes.

Identifying red flags early may save you and the other person from wasting time. It can be crucial to stay aware and not ignore the potential signs.

Managing conversations about sex

Talking about sex can be difficult for many couples. However, both partners should be comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Start by choosing the right time and place. Avoid talking when either person is stressed or tired. Instead, find a relaxed and comfortable setting.

You might find it helpful to set some goals for the conversation. For example, you can agree to focus on understanding each other's needs or exploring new experiences safely. Being honest and respectful can be key. 

Both people should listen actively and respond without interrupting to show empathy and validate each other’s emotions. By following these tips, individuals can improve communication about sex and build a stronger bond with a potential partner. 

Boundaries in online dating

When exploring dating online, you may want to remember to maintain your boundaries. You might start by using nicknames or pseudonyms instead of your real names. This simple step can add an extra layer of anonymity. As a general rule, you don't want strangers to find you too easily online.

Next, be careful with the photos you share. Avoid uploading pictures that show where you live, work, or study. It can be wise to keep your personal life separate from your online persona.

Watch out for scams

Scams tend to be rampant in online dating environments. One potential sign of a scam is when someone asks for money or your financial details. Scammers might use clever stories to gain your trust. Always be cautious and remain wary of profile inconsistencies or anyone who seems too good to be true. Frequent requests for personal details can also be a potential sign of a scam.

Maintaining mental health while exploring the dating world

Dating can be exciting, but it may also bring stress. It can be important to be aware of how dating affects your mental health. When meeting new people, set boundaries to protect yourself. Knowing your limits may help you avoid burnout and maintain balance.

Don't forget self-care. Regular activities like exercise and hobbies can keep you grounded. They may provide relief from the pressure that often comes with dating.

Social media can also play a role in modern dating. It can be easy to compare yourself to others, which may hurt your self-esteem. Remember, what you see online often isn't the whole story. Focus on your real connections and staying true to yourself.

Staying positive and proactively maintaining your mental health while dating may lead to more positive, fulfilling relationships.

Finding support for dating troubles and rejection

Experiencing dating troubles and rejection can be stressful. Seeking support from various resources may make the process easier. One potentially helpful option is to talk to a dating coach. Dating coaches typically specialize in providing personalized advice and strategies to help you navigate the dating scene more confidently.

Another valuable resource may be therapy. A licensed mental health professional can help you process the emotions that come with rejection. They can provide a safe space to express your emotions and help you develop coping skills.

Friends and family can be a source of support, too. They usually know you best and can offer comfort and advice from a place of trust and understanding. Talking openly with them may reduce loneliness.

Rejection happens to everyone, even the most desirable and talented people. Find what works best for you, and don't hesitate to seek support when needed.

A male and female couple dance together in their home while wearing pajamas and smiling.
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Dating can be stressful, but online therapy can help

Online therapy for dating and relationship problems

Online therapy may be helpful for people experiencing mental health challenges while dating, especially for those who might be nervous about going to an office for help. One of the potential benefits is flexibility. People can set up therapy sessions at times that fit their schedules. 

Another benefit of online therapy is the comfort it can provide. Talking about personal challenges can be difficult, but many people may be more relaxed when they can do it from home. Services like BetterHelp can make it easy to connect with a licensed therapist. 

Research suggests that online therapy can effectively treat mental health challenges like depression, which may arise in response to dating and relationship challenges. In a 2023 study, 108 people with major depression participated in either 12 weeks of in-person therapy or an online therapy program. Both groups experienced improved mood, and online therapy participants typically completed more sessions, which can be important to note as treatment adherence can improve overall outcomes.

Takeaway

Whether you're newly single or simply trying to find a meaningful connection, dating can be difficult. Finding the best dating advice to support your journey can also be hard. It can be important to be authentic, set boundaries, and remain aware of potential red flags. While dating can be exciting, it can also be stressful, so taking care of your mental health can be vital. If you're overwhelmed, there are many resources available for support, including online therapy.

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