Mature Romance: Dating Over 50

Medically reviewed by Dr. April Brewer, DBH, LPC
Updated October 8, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Getty/AnnaStills
Finding love can be challenging at any age

The idea of dating after 50 may sound daunting at first. It may have been many years since you went on a first date, and you may be worried about what to do and how to do it. You might wonder if the rules and norms for dating have changed over the years.

In one respect, dating over 50 is the same as dating at any age in that the main goal is typically the same: to find someone to be happy with. While the things that make us happy may change as we age, there is often an element of excitement and anticipation in dating, regardless of age. 

The pros of dating over 50

One perk of dating after 50 is that people at this age may be less likely to have young children, which can free up time for enjoying the company of others. If you have adult children, you may find dating easier for them to understand than younger ones.

Why look for companionship after you turn 50

After 50, some people may also find that they know themselves better, which may, in turn, help them meet people with whom they can form a mutually fulfilling relationship. Also, after a certain age, some people enjoy a little more financial stability, which may relieve the pressure that some people feel when trying to balance a career and relationships at a younger age.

The potential cons of dating over 50

Dating over 50 may pose a few challenges, depending on your circumstances. For example, some people over 50 have an elderly parent to take care of. They may have taken in a parent to care for them, and if the new partner is considering moving in, they may have to accept this for the relationship to continue.

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Dating issues when you are over 50

Another potential challenge with dating over 50 is related to health problems that might affect the dating experience. Some people may feel a little self-conscious about the physical changes that tend to happen in middle age. For example, men may feel less energetic than when they were younger, and women may experience menopause. In addition to the physical challenges of menopause, it can sometimes lead to changes in mood, anxiety, and depression. Also, people of all genders may experience a bit of nervousness related to sex after 50.

Sex after 50

It is a myth that people over 50 don’t have a desire for sex or are simply unable to have sex anymore.

Romance and mature love

Research shows that most people between the ages of 50 and 65 are still very much interested in sex. According to a poll of people aged 65 to 80, nearly two-thirds of respondents were interested in sex, and 54% of individuals with a partner remained sexually active.

Although physical attraction often plays a role in relationships, people over 50 may be more likely to understand that looks aren't everything. That means it may be possible to develop a truly fulfilling relationship with someone with similar interests, even if they look different from what a person considers their type.

Another possible advantage of dating over 50 is that talking about sex may be easier in later years, allowing for a relationship-based approach. Often, older, more experienced individuals may be better equipped to recognize what they are looking for and what others are looking for in a relationship.

Exploring the mature dating scene for over 50

For those over 50 looking to reenter the dating scene, there are many avenues to explore that cater to more mature singles. Participating in local events specifically designed for singles can be a potential way to meet people. Community centers, clubs, and special interest groups often host gatherings where individuals can connect over common interests. This setup facilitates conversation and offers a relaxed environment in which to meet potential partners.

Another effective way to meet new people is through workshops and classes that cater to older adults. Cooking classes, art workshops, and dance classes are popular options that allow participants to learn new skills while interacting with others. These settings are less formal and provide an engaging backdrop to start conversations.

Here are a few practical places for dating opportunities to find a senior partner or relationship: 

  • Local community centers 

  • Special interest clubs (like book clubs or hiking groups) 

  • Adult learning classes

Online dating sites and dating apps for older adults

In recent years, online dating has become common for individuals of all age groups, including those 50 and older, to make meaningful connections with potential partners. Numerous dating sites and apps cater specifically to the older demographic, helping them find companions who have similar experiences and interests.

These platforms typically offer a range of communication features like video chat, which helps users connect more deeply despite physical distances. The sign-up process for dating platforms is generally straightforward, involving creating a profile, adding profile photos, and providing details about your interests and personality traits. 

Many dating websites also offer free versions, allowing users to experience the service without a financial commitment.

For those new to online dating, here are some features to look out for if you are dating over 50:

  • Customization options for profile details

  • Communication tools like message boards and video chat 

  • Curated matches based on compatibility 

In addition, certain platforms offer unique features, such as giving virtual gifts. For those interested in diversifying their dating pool, some sites encourage connections with younger people, promoting interactions across different age groups in the same way traditional mingling does. 

For users preferring a traditional format over swipe-based apps, the desktop version of many dating sites may provide a more detailed and user-friendly interface. Still, finding the best match requires a willingness to engage with others in meaningful ways. 

Exploring online platforms can open up a broader pool of potential matches and is particularly useful for those looking to connect with people they might not meet in everyday life. Whether seeking friendship, companionship, or romantic connection, online dating services can be a resource for older adults.

For companionship and love: Dating someone whose partner has passed

Getty/Yoshiyoshi Hirokawa
Finding love can be challenging at any age

Many individuals who start dating again after 50 or older do so because they have experienced the death of their spouse. As a result, their new partners may be concerned that they will never measure up to the spouse that came before them. While this is a valid concern, it may be unwarranted.

Effects on mental health

From a mental health perspective, each person can experience the grieving process differently. Some people may need to wait longer than others to date again, which is a valid option.

If you meet someone who talks often about their deceased spouse, then it may be too early for them to be in a committed relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t compatible; they may simply need more time for their mental health and overall well-being.  

Still, it’s not uncommon for a person to speak of their past relationship from time to time. If you’re dating someone whose spouse died, it may help to simply listen without feeling threatened. You don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations, and you have the freedom to meet other people if you sense that the relationship isn’t meant to go beyond friendship at this time.

Getting help with romance and dating over 50

If you’re over 50 and interested in dating again, you may benefit from speaking to a relationship expert or counselor. A therapist may also be able to help you find renewed confidence as you navigate the process of dating again.

Online therapy

You might consider online therapy if you don't feel comfortable seeing a therapist in person. With online therapy, you can connect with a therapist in a way that’s comfortable for you, whether by phone, videoconference, live chat, or a combination of these modalities. Also, you can often choose a therapist and get started within 48 to 72 hours. 

Effectivity of online therapy

Online therapy has been shown to be just as effective as traditional in-office therapy. One meta-analysis published in the Journal of Technology in Human Services found no difference in effectiveness between in-person and online therapy. 

Takeaway

Dating over 50 can present challenges and offer unique opportunities to connect with others. If you're looking for support as you consider dating again, you may benefit from speaking to a therapist in person or online. With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a therapist with experience helping people navigate the challenges of dating over 50. Take the first step toward getting support with dating at this stage and reach out to BetterHelp today.
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