When To Take The Next Step When Casual Dating
Research suggests that expectations for casual relationships depend on implicit rules about commitment. By definition, people in casual relationships are not committed to one another, but that doesn’t necessarily mean these relationships are uncomplicated.
For some, casual dating can lead to deeper feelings that can make it challenging to maintain a relationship without commitment. These feelings can lead individuals to question whether it could be time to take the next step and establish a monogamous relationship. It can be important to openly communicate with your partner to determine whether you’re on the same page. For more personalized insight and guidance, consider scheduling a session with a licensed therapist.
What is casual dating?
Casual dating may be defined as getting to know someone without being in a committed relationship. Every relationship is different, though, and casual relationships can mean different things to different people.
Those who are casually dating may take the time to get to know one another better or explore a strong physical or emotional connection. Some people may prefer casual dating, as they may not be interested in having a committed relationship. Others may see casual dating as the first step in finding a suitable long-term partner.
Ultimately, people who are casually dating are not in a committed relationship, and there is generally no promise of monogamy. However, there are different types of casual relationships to consider, each with a unique dynamic.
Types of casual relationships
The following are some examples of casual relationships.
Casual sex
Casual sex can be loosely defined as sex outside of a committed relationship. In many cases, it takes place without any expectations that it will develop into something romantic. Casual sex can take place between people who have just met, or it can be an ongoing relationship where people continue to meet up occasionally to have sex or be intimate in other ways.
There can be many types of casual sex. For example, in a one-night stand, the people involved typically have one intimate encounter and do not continue the relationship, in many cases never seeing one another again. Meanwhile, a hookup can develop into an ongoing casual sexual relationship.
Friends with benefits
Friends with benefits can be seen as a type of casual sex, but it usually implies that there is a friendship outside of the sexual encounters. People who are friends with benefits may already have an established friendship, or they may already be having casual sex and also enjoy spending time together socially. Despite the established friendship, people in these relationships are not committed to one another in any romantic way, and physical intimacy is generally understood to come with no strings attached.
Casually dating
Casual dating is generally understood to be different from a casual sexual relationship. While individuals who are casually dating may still have sex with no commitment or expectation of monogamy, those who are casually dating typically spend time together doing things other than being intimate. They may be taking the time to get to know one another romantically, or they may just enjoy spending time together without any expectation of something developing in the future.
Some people may see casual dating as the beginning of a committed relationship, but others may not be interested in taking things further. When people who are casually dating want different things, it can be a source of tension, stress, and emotional pain.
Benefits and risks of casual relationships
Casual dating can also help you get to know yourself. Spending time with different people can help you determine if you want a long-term relationship and what you value in a partner. It can also be fun to get to know people and try new experiences.
There can be risks associated with casual dating as well. Even if the intention may be to keep things casual, there may always be a chance that one person in the relationship will develop more intense feelings for the other.
This development can be difficult for people who have entered a friends-with-benefits situation. Although updated evidence may be needed, research shows that most friends-with-benefits relationships do not result in a committed romantic relationship. About half of the people studied reported that they continued the friendship after the sexual aspect came to an end. Others reported believing they’d been deceived by their friends and experiencing high levels of psychological distress and loneliness.
Some people are not looking for long-term relationships to develop from casual dating. Communicating and enforcing these boundaries can be challenging, and people who are not on the same page may have to end the relationship.
How to take a casual relationship to the next level
Before considering how to take a casual relationship to the next level, it can be worth deciding whether you should.
If you are in a casual relationship with someone who has been clear about their intentions from the beginning, trying to change the nature of the relationship may not end in the way you’d like.
If your feelings have evolved, and you want something more than casual dating, it may be best to honestly communicate your desires with the understanding that it may mean the end of the relationship. If the other person is only interested in keeping things casual and does not share your feelings, moving on and finding someone who shares your relationship goals can be a healthy way forward.
In general, there is no trick for taking a casual relationship to the next level. If you have developed deeper feelings for someone you are seeing casually, be honest about your feelings to help you determine the next steps.
Things to keep in mind
Here are some considerations to note when casually dating.
Communication can be key
In any relationship, being open and honest about what you want can avoid confusion. For example, if you’re only interested in dating casually and are not looking for a serious relationship, establishing those boundaries from the start can prevent problems down the line. Or, if you are casually dating to find someone with whom you can build a relationship, being honest about what you’re looking for can help you find people who are looking for the same thing.
Feelings can change
Even if you have communicated your boundaries from the start, it can be helpful to remember that feelings can change. If you enter a relationship intending to keep it casual, you or the other person may ultimately develop romantic feelings for one another as you spend more time together.
Check in occasionally
Regularly checking in with your casual dating partner can help you ensure you’re on the same page. Many things can change the nature of a casual relationship. Perhaps one of you has developed strong feelings for the other or met someone with whom you’d like to be in a monogamous relationship. Asking the other person if they are still okay with the relationship the way it is may allow both of you to address any concerns or end the relationship if you are no longer on the same page.
How casual relationships can affect your mental health
Casual dating can have both positive and negative effects on mental health. For people who are just coming out of long-term relationships or are starting to date again after a long time, casual dating can be a way to boost their self-esteem and confidence and help them understand what they are looking for in a relationship. That said, people’s experiences with casual dating can vary widely, and everyone may react to their experiences in different ways.
Casual sex isn’t quite the same as casual dating, but research suggests that casual sex without any type of relationship can negatively impact mental health. Study results have found that casual sex tends to be negatively associated with well-being and can increase the risk of negative psychological outcomes, regardless of gender.
Working through dating challenges in therapy
Casual dating can be a fun way to meet new people and figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship, but it is not necessarily for everyone. Miscommunication can lead to conflict and confusion, and some casual dating relationships can end in heartbreak.
If you’re trying to determine what you want in a relationship or need help improving your communication skills, working with a therapist can give you the support you deserve to confront these challenges.
Online therapy can be an accessible, convenient way to get support. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can work with a licensed professional from the comfort of your home or any location with a reliable internet connection. Most people are matched with a therapist within 48 hours of signing up, and you can switch providers at any time for no additional fee.
Research has found that online therapy can be an effective way to manage the emotions associated with relationship challenges. A 2022 study reported that online couples therapy generally improved both relationship satisfaction and mental health. Additional research supports the use of online therapy for individuals as well.
Takeaway
What is the casual dating description?
The exact description of casual dating can vary from person to person, which is why it can be important to clearly communicate your needs and expectations with those you engage with romantically and/or sexually to avoid hurt feelings. In general, however, a casual dating relationship refers to forming a romantic and/or sexual connection that may be short term and without a monogamous commitment. Casual dating can lead to a long-term relationship in some cases, but this is usually not the original intention.
Is casual dating still dating?
Casual dating can still be considered dating. Each person may have different desires when it comes to the types of relationships they’re interested in forming with others, and for some, their desire is to casually date. Since this still involves engaging with partners romantically and/or sexually, it qualifies as dating for most people.
What are the two types of casual relationships?
Two common types of casual relationships include one-night stands and friends with benefits. One-night stands are when two people are sexually intimate with each other only once, typically on the same day that they met. Friends with benefits is when two friends engage in sexual intimacy but without the idea of or plan to build a romantic connection.
Is casual dating good for mental health and the mind?
The effects of casual dating on mental health generally depend on the person and their needs and preferences. Someone who is only interested in a long-term relationship like marriage may become frustrated or sad at how many people are only interested in a short-term connection with them. This could contribute to low self-esteem, worry about the future, or even depression. On the other hand, someone who is looking to date casually for one reason or another may find these types of relationships to be empowering, fulfilling, and a boost to their self-esteem. Deciding what you need and want out of a dating relationship may help you preserve your mental health throughout your experiences.
What are casual dating rules?
Casual dating norms can vary depending on a person’s age, sexual orientation, region, and other factors. That said, it can be up to the two people (or more) involved to define their own needs, boundaries, and expectations to promote clarity and respect for each other in their casual dating relationships.
What is an example of casual dating?
An example of casual dating could be a person using a dating app or going to parties to meet new people, but without the expectation of or desire to form a serious emotional attachment or a long-term connection. This type of casual dating is common when a person has recently ended a long-term relationship and is looking to cultivate a sense of freedom and new possibilities, focus on their own needs, and find happiness by enjoying the company of new people without expecting a life-long commitment to come out of it.
Is there love in casual dating or casual sex?
Whether love exists between the individuals involved in a casual dating or casual sex relationship can vary depending on the particulars of their situation. Some people start out as friends who share platonic love and then begin a sexual connection. Others begin as strangers who intend to casually date but end up cultivating romantic love over time. In other words, it’s possible for love to exist in casual dating or casual sex connections. Even if it doesn’t, however, mutual respect, safety, and care generally should.
What to do when you catch feelings in a casual relationship?
Each situation is different, but it’s generally advisable to have a conversation with the person you’re seeing casually if your feelings for them have started to change after a certain point—like after having gone on a few dates, having sex, or otherwise engaging in a casual relationship for a while. This discussion can help you discover if they feel the same way or want the same type of result from the continuation of your relationship.
Why do guys want casual dating or friends with benefits?
Men, women, and people of other genders may want to casually date or have a friends-with-benefits arrangement for any number of reasons. Some possible examples include wanting to explore the dating world for the first time or after a breakup, explore their sexuality, enjoy another’s company while they’re temporarily living in a certain location, or simply make different types of connections without commitment or jealousy. Others may avoid more serious dating connections due to a fear of commitment, a desire to stay single, an avoidant attachment style, a history of trauma, or a number of other possible reasons.
How do you know if dating is casual?
The answer to the question of whether you’re dating someone casually or not can typically only be discovered by talking to them about it. Even an informal conversation about needs and expectations where all parties can express themselves and feel heard may be enough to get individuals on the same page.
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