Mastering Coping Skills For Uncomfortable Emotions: A Comprehensive Guide

Emotions can be intrinsic to the human experience, and they aren't always positive. Many of us know the tight grip of stress, the burning heat of anger, or the weighty cloak of sadness. While it can be normal to experience a whole spectrum of emotions, it can also be essential to have the tools and know-how to navigate them effectively–especially the uncomfortable ones. Managing emotions often contributes to our mental well-being and has a positive ripple effect on our physical health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Imagine a toolkit that you carry with you; each tool within it represents a different management skill. From meaning-focused to social coping skills and more, a licensed therapist can help you learn to respond to uncomfortable emotions in healthy and effective ways.

Understanding uncomfortable emotions

Uncomfortable emotions like worry, sadness, guilt, and shame are often regular parts of the human experience. These emotions can also have a serious cumulative impact on our mental health.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), an emotion can be defined as a complex reaction to an event, feeling, or thought. Emotions may be composed of multiple components, such as physical sensations, cognitive appraisals, and behavioral reactions. To that end, managing emotions often involves carefully monitoring these parts to ensure our responses stay within healthy boundaries.

Brain structures tend to play important roles in our emotions. The amygdala, often deemed the emotional response center, is usually crucial in processing emotions. The prefrontal cortex is typically involved in decision-making and moderating social behavior, while the hippocampus is frequently associated with memory. Together, these areas can form a complex network of communication that helps us control our emotions and behavior.

Understanding the science of emotions may help us appreciate our bodies’ reactions to stressful events. The brain usually activates the stress response system, releasing cortisol and triggering the "fight-or-flight" response. Emotional control is often crucial to managing the way we respond to stressful stimuli, and it may be achieved through healthy coping skills and strategies.

Categories of coping skills

Problem-focusing coping skills

Problem-focused strategies tend to address the root cause of emotional distress and take actionable steps to change the situation or environment at hand. For example, if an excessive workload is causing stress, an individual might allocate time for task prioritization.

Emotion-focused coping skills

On the other hand, emotion-focused skills generally aim to improve emotional states without changing the external situation. This approach may be beneficial when you have little or no control over external circumstances. Techniques like deep breathing and engaging in a hobby typically fall under this category.

Meaning-focused coping skills

Meaning-focused strategies normally involve finding meaning in stressful situations, which can, in turn, change how one feels about them. For instance, viewing a job loss as an opportunity for personal growth and exploration may reduce the emotional distress associated with it.

Social coping skills

Finally, social coping usually involves seeking support from others. This category of coping skills can underscore the importance of connecting with family, friends, or support groups. Human beings tend to be social creatures and often find comfort in same experiences. When we surround ourselves with supportive people, we can often gain the strength and courage to tackle life's challenges.

Techniques for developing coping skills

Now that you understand the types of coping skills available, how can you start using them in everyday life?

Mindfulness

Mindfulness generally refers to an engaged awareness of the present moment without judgment or attachment. It's usually about acknowledging our thoughts, feelings, and environment as they arise with openness and curiosity. Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for managing emotions and reducing stress.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) normally focuses on the interplay between thoughts, feelings, and behavior. This evidence-based practice may help you become more aware of distorted thinking patterns, increase your self-awareness, and develop healthier emotional management strategies. Thought records, cognitive restructuring, and behavioral activation may be some of the most common CBT techniques.

Healthy lifestyle choices

Physical wellness strategies, such as exercise, sleep, and nutrition, can also play a critical role in managing emotions. They can reduce stress hormones and improve cognitive functioning to balance your moods. Regular physical activity can release endorphins that positively impact mood and mental health. Adequate sleep is usually essential for emotional well-being as well.

Artistic expression

Expressive arts and creativity may also be useful strategies. Art therapy, music therapy, writing, and journaling may be some practical ways for individuals to explore their emotions. These activities may provide an effective outlet for emotional expression and open a safe space to process challenging feelings without judgment or criticism.

Social support

Social support can be an important factor in managing emotions as well. Connecting with people who understand and are willing to listen can be empowering and reassuring. Discussing our feelings may help us gain insight into our struggles and increase our self-awareness. Furthermore, having a supportive circle of friends often amplifies feelings of belonging and connection, which are often crucial to emotional well-being.

To improve communication, you may consider the following techniques:

• Assertiveness training: Being assertive generally means expressing yourself clearly, confidently, and respectfully when communicating with others. Assertiveness training may help you learn to identify and express your needs effectively while also honoring the needs of others.
• Conflict resolution skills: Managing conflicts in a healthy way is usually an important skill for emotional well-being. Conflict resolution skills may enable you to address issues in the moment without causing unnecessary harm or distress.
• Active listening: Listening with empathy and understanding can be an invaluable tool to strengthen relationships and express care. Being a good listener, without making assumptions or judgments, can create a safe space where both parties feel heard and appreciated.

Relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and visualization, may also be instrumental in managing stress. Taking slow, deep breaths might calm your nervous system and activate the "rest and digest" response. 

When feeling overwhelmed, visualizing a peaceful place may alleviate anxiety and create a sense of calmness. The parasympathetic nervous system is usually responsible for this relaxation response, which often decreases heart rate and cortisol levels to improve emotional balance.

The importance of choosing healthy coping skills

Honing emotional control is often a lifelong process that typically requires commitment and dedication. It can be important to remember that not all emotional management skills are beneficial. In fact, certain unhealthy skills can harm our emotional well-being. They might provide short-term relief but often worsen the problem in the long run. 

Examples may include substance use, self-harm, and avoidance. If you’re having trouble establishing healthy coping skills or find yourself turning to potentially harmful ones, a licensed therapist can provide you with the guidance and support you deserve.

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

Benefits of online therapy

When done from the comfort of your own home, online therapy often has the benefit of providing a safe, environment to explore your emotions and work on new coping skills. In addition, you can switch therapists as needed until you find one who matches your needs and preferences.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Recent studies show online cognitive behavioral therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. When uncomfortable emotions become too much to manage alone, online therapy may provide motivation and advice to get you back on track.